"Saturn turns direct, July 20th. This is when you’ll be expected to get up and move out."
"SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): The 'what will I do when…?' questions should be starting to accumulate, Scorpio, if you sincerely believe (as you well should) that definitive 'when' you've been awaiting is almost here. As we discussed a couple weeks back, this extended phase of not being able to reliably conduct simple matters of desire-gratification or impulse-fulfillment is coming to an end imminently, once Mars hits your sign later in the month. I encourage you to actively invest in this belief that a pivotal energetic shift will soon rekindle the spark you've been missing for several months, since your only other mindset-choices are either (1) to fear such a shift is still so very far in the future that you're not sure you can make it or (2) to resign yourself to the false notion that this is how it's destined to be forevermore… and both those choices can breed cynicism and despair. Thankfully, the astrological facts are on the side of imminent self-rekindling, rather than continued paralysis. So, knowing that, what reinvigorating fresh-starts or next-steps or returns-to-form are you most eagerly looking forward to diving into? Perhaps it's been such a long expanse of not expecting much immediate propulsive momentum from yourself, you need a few moments to mull over what you're going to do with this forthcoming vibe-boost. A little preparatory visioning could help sort out your priorities. Begin making your brainstorm lists now, like a newly-elected but not-yet-inaugurated officer who can hardly wait until the term officially begins—so they can finally enact all their pressing initiatives."
Hoo boy, do I feel the "It's so far away I can't make it" or "It just doesn't exist at all and this is all that there is" thing.
Always did like rabbits...
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20): Last month I predicted you would have a summer of re-invention. Was I right? Have you taken the small steps necessary to change up your game? Have you shaken things up at work? Written the un-written story? Taken a fashion risk here and there? If not, then you still have time my dearest heart. In the slow July heat and soft chirping of birds, I know you can feel it. All that stored energy buzzing inside of you, egging (sorry for all this bird stuff) you on to be a better more engaged version of yourself. Maybe money is hard right now, making you freeze up an hesitate? Don’t worry, Taurus, the universe provides. Maybe you haven’t felt beautiful in a long time? You’ve been beautiful your whole life. Maybe you’ve been sleeping on a project that could truly shift your world? You’re the only one who can do this thing you have kept locked tight in your heart. I’ve decided that you need Grace Jones because she is a Taurus who is every version of herself—a master of re-invention. She’s a man-eating machine! A corporate cannibal! A digital criminal! I mean, really, anything she wants to be. Take her cue: get wild, then wilder.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21): This month has you feeling the energy and support of your zodiac wheel neighbors. With Sagittarius getting a little watery (Jupiter in Cancer) and Libra getting a little intense (Mars), it’s time you bitches had a house party. Everyone can read tarot cards, cry, make out, and laugh about it tomorrow. Sounds really good, right? Just don’t forget (and Uranus opposing Mars won’t let you!) that this is still the year of the horse and in the midst of all that fun, you have a mission. There is something you are meant to do in this world and there’s no better time then now to walk toward it. I know you Scorpio. I know you have a practical plan, a life-ladder out of any risky situation (especially one for your heart). This month allow yourself a little impulsiveness—be braver. And if you start to feel a little low, watch Ciara (Scorpio, duh) have a good time with Nicki (fire friends!). No big deal but those squatty bouncy dance moves they’ve got going on in that space ship are requiring me to, um, step away for a minute.
"Taurus (April 19-May 20) -- Your solar chart has become increasingly complex in recent weeks, which is another way of saying you may be less sure about who you are and what you want."
HAHAHAHAHAH. It's harder for me to be even less sure because I don't know at all!
"It would, however, be far better to pause and not know than it would be to let someone decide for you. I am sure you've noticed the human tendency to want others to make our decisions. It saves mental effort and it saves responsibility, but in the end, you sacrifice choice. Or rather, you choose not to choose, in a passive way."
While I'm not telling someone to decide for me, I almost got close to it at one point last week. And regarding the thing I have been debating whether or not to do (a really expensive for me, long term class in a "hippie" technique, with scheduling problems out the wazoo for me), I've been "choosing not to choose, in a passive way," by letting it slide and not saying yes or no for the last week...which will probably become a no because I waited that long. But I can't give an enthusiastic yes because it's hugely time sucking and money sucking and if it's going to cause me that much stress in accounting for the money and time, IT BETTER FUCKING WORK...and there's no guarantees, of course. My intution said "fuck this, I'm outta here, meh, what do I know" over a year ago so there's no "guidance" there (and frankly, my intuition was so very wrong previously that it can't be trusted), I whined to my mom and my shrink and had them debate with me and...I'm still no closer to yes or no and there's no more information I can get to edge me in one direction or the other. Either you man up and do it or not, get on board or not, and I am "meh." It might get me to where I want to go, but I kinda suspect it won't because nothing seems to work. Or at least, nothing works quickly enough for me to catch on fire about it and want to keep going. If my energy piddles out about something after a week and it's not doing anything by the time the week is up, I'm out. It's one of those things guaranteed to cause me some stress just by signing up, and I don't think I feel strongly that there will be rewards enough to make it worth that stress.
"I suggest you get underneath this psychology if you're noticing that it exists. Clearly, you want to expand your horizons; you want some new energy in your physical space; you're tired of a life that is so obsessively focused on work. If someone is offering you something that you see is appealing, and you want it, take full credit for your choice."
I don't know if I want it or not.... It's mildly appealing. I'm interested in the subject matter, but the overall price and time commitment was NOT at all what I was expecting or looking for and falls firmly into Too Much For Me, Really territory. On the other hand, it's not like there are any other options to learn that in a class in person anywhere else either. So fuck if I know and I whine away.
"Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) -- For most of the month Mars is making its way across the last degrees of Libra, on its way into your sign. Think of this as something trying to break through to the surface of your awareness -- something that might feel edgy in a way you don't understand. What you're feeling is likely to be different from your experiences since Mars entered Libra last December, which was the beginning of a long odyssey. Now, change is imminent. You just may not be sure if you really want it. This is, of course, a theme of its own for you."
Yup. That's always the thing: I don't really super want any one thing enough to chase after it. I very mildly do want a few things, which better have some damn instant gratification or else (see above), and if anything happens to throw a "nope" or "not quite right" or "um, maybe not" into the equation, I bail immediately.
"This would be a good time to ponder whether any element of the past you're attached to is really worth keeping. There are many new passions and ambitions coming into your life -- I suggest you make space for them, which means for yourself."
I'm not gonna repeat the Taurus one because I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to get out of that other than "stay the course, yawn," but the Scorpio one was interesting:
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Be very skeptical about the seemingly self-evident reaching of 'last-straw' moments, Scorpio, which would inspire you to claim you can't take it anymore (whatever 'it' might be) and/or otherwise lean toward actions that express a fed-up lack of continuing patience. Whether or not this really is such a moment remains to be seen. But of course, should you actually assent to 'remaining to see' what this critical point turns out to represent in the longer-term, chances are you'll regain enough responsible wherewithal not to conduct yourself in that 'to-hell-with-it' manner which threatens to create the type of 'last straw' you claim to be reacting against. And that's exactly what the fuck-it-all nihilistic provocateur inside you is afraid of: that you will think things through, rather than react impulsively, and find a less potentially nuclear option for expressing your fed-up-ness. You've felt these urges periodically rise up over these many months of Mars-in-the-12th posing challenges to your sanity, and this is perhaps the last big hurrah as far as such urges go. You are just a few weeks away from a dramatic shift in the astro-air… one which will go far to neutralize that long-suffered sense of powerlessness and, in its place, to restore your competent capacity to once again steer the boat in your chosen direction. Before you throw in all your tiles or blow your lid or do something you can't undo, remind yourself that the next chapter is all yours to make of it what you will.
I think this is funny because I never, ever hit the point of "THAT'S IT, I AM THROUGH" and stick to it. I can tolerate ANYTHING indefinitely (see being a Taurus). I have no inner rebel, though.
On a related note, this week's Michael Lutin:
Outwardly you're in
total control, have it together,
and functioning on a high level.
The twelfth house transit of Mars
has been agonizingly slow
and slowly agonizing,
making you bounce between
imagining the worst,
and denying problems altogether,.
You have companions,
social and professional supporters
who can take you far.
Don't scare yourself.
stay with faith.
and you will straighten it all out.
Just not yet.
"Scorpio24th October – 22nd NovemberCertain changes you’ve wanted to make this year stalled for quite some time, leading to frustration and guilt about not pushing things hard enough. But let the self-disapproval go (especially midmonth, and particularly full moon time around the 13th), and let this month show you how things really move only when the time’s right. Maybe it’s a case of third time lucky now, linking back to January and April somehow; maybe you will see the same old obstacles stack up, but now you move easily beyond them after applying what you learned in past months during delays. The lesson is that no time is ever wasted."
Love and creative expression can hurt.
When you allow yourself
f to experience
the only truly joys there are,
you open yourself to
the highest form of ecstasy,
happiness and the compassion
that enlivens the soul.
You also lay yourself bare
to unspeakably excruciating
longing and grief.
Some people avoid pain
and live without love.
Romance, children, artistry–
for you they are everything."
Hah. As if on the first two.
Mercury in your opportunities sector has triggered ideas/information in the areas of long distance travel, education, legal matters and publishing. As it turns Rx, a new development in one of these areas may stall, or you may revisit an old contact/idea involving one of these areas. Your big picture philosophies/ideals may also be under revision as you’re compelled to re-examine issues around right/wrong/justice. Now is not the time to expand or explore; you’ve dipped your toe in the water, but there’s other things to consider, first. Use extra caution if you’re signing any official or legal documents (double check all details and be prepared for changes).
Well, that's pretty much been going on. I wanted to plan a short private trip for myself, but that's stalled out. Mostly because other obligations/trips with someone else have come up instead, but also because I can't find anywhere I actually want to GO to for the purpose I had in mind.