Saturn Return Can Bite Me

Oh, the irony.

I lost one of my Saturn earrings during Saturn Return.

Wah. I liked those, dammit.

It's been confirmed.

This is definitely going to be happening during my exact Saturn Return. The process starts Tuesday.

Oy. Sometimes astrology IS very literal.

I totally feel like I'm living this book now.

This week's Michael Lutin

Next week in review: Actually, it seems to be more of the year 2007.

TAURUS 2007

what you still have to work on –looking after family business

As fucking always.

you will be supported financially for ventures, inheritance and even sex

Uh, what?

It's kind of ironic that given all the deaths in the family, all I have inherited is a few pieces of furniture. Well, I'd presumably do well in inheritance if both of my parents were dead, but that's about it.

Sex, hahahahahahahahahah.

you look for release in children and/or love affairs that go nowhere

Am baffled on the children thing, but god knows the other has been true.

what spooks you most? Being considered just a pal and not a hot lover

Eh, there's scarier things out there than that.

what you love to do–get personal attention (don't deny it)
your obsession this year is a perfectly high school romantic view of yourself,

Heeeeeeeee. Maybe? I'm always so frigging high school.

the path to joy in 2007 –do something for humanity for God's sake

Um. I am not a humanitarian. I am a "leave me the fuck alone so I can go hide on an island" person.

For all Tauruses in 2007 especially those born in
1914,1951, 69–-70. 88-89
Love is supposed to warm you up, raise your fever, boil your bananas, not leave you feeling cold and empty and unsatisfied.

Gee, ya think? Course, they say the same thing about family, so...meh.

True enough it takes a lot to satisfy a Taurus. You need a lotta lotta lovin’, and frankly it doesn’t look as if one little person is going to be able to give you all you need.

I can't argue with that. This is why I am polyamory-friendly. Not that I have done that since the 90's, but expecting one person to be everything leads to badness even if you do monogamy.

This in no way impugns your deep sense of loyalty or commitment, because darn it! you can be loyal and committed. It’s just that you’ve got this search for the absolutely pure, unspoiled, spotless love thing, and because of that you could put way too much energy in a love object or your kids whom you ex[ect way too much from. You can be picky and critical, especially when the shine rubs off and you see that once again you have projected onto your child or your most recent love object a set of blueprints from which it is virtually impossible to construct a real relationship.

Yup. I can't deny that.

It’s possible that at least for this year you have a destiny that involves a love has to include all the beings of this world.

Hah.

What if you have a contribution to make that is meaningful ven if it is NOT romantic? That’s a great moment to wake up to.

Okay, that's not bad. But I am decidedly not Angelina Jolie here.

SCORPIO

8-15 jan

You'd better believe in teh constant flow of Prosperity and the BOuntiful Universe and all that, because you will be spending a lot of money now and probably going mental over it. Family member under teh weather? Try to attend to it, although with the career thing so pressing it's hard to divide yoruself properly.

Spending a lot of money and going mental- YES. It's January, which means I have to spend a lot of money. Living in a town that runs on the quarter system, it means all of your major bills come due in October, January, April, and July.

2007

still have to keep working on--- staying on top anddealing with politics
you will be supported –when you accept yourself as wealthy and prosperous

Uh....?????

where you constantly look for release– with friends and groups of people who bore you

In a way?

what spooks you–intimate love relationships, coping with kids and losing your freedom

A-FUCKING-MEN!

what you love to do– busy yourself with humanity’s problems

Um, no.

your obsession–freedom from emotions you can't control

True.

the path to joy in 2007 –can you believe it? Love and children

No, I cannot believe it.

For all Scorpios, especially those born in
1913-14,1950-51,1969, from nov 9th in 1987, all in 1988

When it comes right down to love or dealing with little kids, you know you’re not as comfortable with old friends as you used to be, mainly because what you need now is not to hang around with people you no longer have much in common with. Yes you hang on. Why?

Well, in those cases it's along the lines of "slim pickins around here." Though this isn't as bad as it used to be. Thank the gods for writing group and people like that.

"It’s just that something in you is so reluctant to going into the deep water and really giving over to your heart’s desire now. You need it and you need it bad. . You’re so terrified of drowning, metaphorically speaking.

True. It's not like things go well when I go into the water.

As sex-oriented and romantic (in some cases either crazed or phobic). You sometimes hang on for dear life to associations and friends who give you advice you will eventually be unable to follow.In 2007 there will be no more clinging to good sound sensible practical rational prescriptions to save yourself from your need to grow up, dive into the deep end of the pool, and learn to swim. So go ahead. Sit there in the health club juice bar and go on and on about how important it is to maintain your independence. Your denial cannot last very long, however, because after a while you’ll feel the pull, like the ocean tugging at you. Loving deeply and fully does cause you to be a little sick, the feeling everybody wants to have until they have it. .
You try to cook up all sorts of global let’s-clean-the-environment-let’s-heal-the-world goals in an effort to reduce the time you have to be three hundred feet underwater with a cloying intimacy everybody would love to enjoy. Enjoy 2007!

*boggle*

Exact Saturn Return #2....

starts tomorrow and runs through the 24th.

And my dad may very well die during that time. Mom is strongly, if unbelievably (and odds are 50/50 she'll go through with it, I think) leaning towards letting him die "sometime next week."

Oy.

Star sign resolutions.

This is amusing.

Taurus:
(April 20 - May 20)
1) Resolve to let go of the personal duties that have had you tied down for far too long.

I frigging WISH I could.

2) Aim to have some fun (you remember that, right?) with an intimate companion.

I totally don't even remember that.

3) In spring, resolve to look into good, solid investments.
4) Take your special someone on a romantic vacation.
5) If all goes well, talk about settling down by this time next year.

Hahahahahah.

Scorpio:
(October 23 - November 21)
1) Career. Work on it, totally, unflinchingly, straight through September.

Sounds good.

2) Aim to make a certain higher-up notice more than your memos, between June and October.
3) By early fall, set your sights on that long-distance trip you’ve been yearning for but keep making excuses about.

*sigh*

4) Sign up for that class you’ve been thinking about.

Okay, easy.

5) Make this the year, from start to finish, that you’re no longer afraid to let your light shine!

Maybe...

New Year's horoscope roundup.

AstroBarry's first up:

Taurus:

A good Taurus likes to know where she stands, and isn't likely to budge unless she's thought it over long and hard. Your friends might tease you for being overly practical or an outright stick-in-the-mud. But once you feel safe, you love to share the finer things (and a sensual snog) with a special someone. 2007 is a fantastic year for gambling your safe ways, to take greater risks with how much of your real self you're willing to show. Flirt daringly with the divide between nice and naughty—maybe even cross to the other side from time to time. You'll surprise the folks who thought they had you figured out. They'll never look at you the same way again.

Love

There's no lack of interesting dating options lately. If you've had recent problems in love, it's because you've been a bit more private or withdrawn than usual. The challenge in '07 is to keep putting yourself out there, even when it feels like a hassle. You can't know how the evening will turn out unless you show up. (And you owe it to all those hotties waiting to meet you!) In January, you'll be strangely drawn to someone who brings out your darker side. Do you really hate him, or is it… something else? July lights up with interesting love prospects—as long as you stay busy doing things you enjoy, instead of following guys to places you hate. Don't let old flames from the past scramble your senses in August and September. If it didn't work then, it won't work now. December is superb for relationship bliss, but you mustn't let it interfere with work. Watch your step at the office holiday party, or bet on complications.

Career

Frustrating but true, your current path to success isn't exactly a straight line. In the short term, you must accept this lack of clear direction, and roll with the unknown. Good career luck comes in January, if you offer genuine assistance when the boss needs you. Let the opportunities show up, rather than grabbing for them. More big chances to get what you want arrive in March—as long as you put a lid on the 'poor me' thoughts undermining your confidence. Talk it out with friends outside of work, so it doesn't leak into your job. May brings a chance for envy to rear its ugly head. Is it directed at you from a (supposedly) friendly co-worker? Or are you the jealous one? Be warned the 'Mr. Nice Guy routine' won't cut it. November's the best month to cruise through your workload, if you can ignore the drama others want to suck you into.

Money

Boost your bottom line by setting up a second (or third) income stream. Sell your crafts at weekend markets, or give lessons in a favorite hobby. Make sure it's fun, too, or you'll burn out. Financial partnerships look especially fruitful, so team up with a friend or family member who fuels your fire. April will be profitable, if you make sure everybody involved gets a fair share. Your judgment may fail in June and July, tempting you with junk that costs more than it's worth. Follow through with the crazy idea someone presents to you in December. It's less crazy than it sounds, as long as you keep a level head.

The work thing so far sounds dead on, but that's about it. As per usual, I laugh in the face of love predictions.

Scorpio:

Nobody gets a stronger reaction than intense, passionate Scorpios. Want proof? Tell someone your sign, and you'll either hear 'I love Scorpios!' or 'I hate Scorpios!' There's just no in between. That's because you have a deep sense of what makes people tick… and can use it to get under their skin, in the most sexy or spiteful way. After a very powerful '06, your upcoming year keeps up the trend of reaping what you sow, especially on the career front. Success is extra-sweet because you truly deserve it. But if you've tried to skate by on fast talk or low blows, expect to hit a wall. You'll discover a new appreciation for your money—either by earning more of it or taking greater care in spending it. If you face a tough patch, find the lesson in it.

Love

Your love life continues to be electric through 2007. To enjoy it most, it's important to keep your independence, even if you're heavily involved with someone. You might actually prefer the excitement of flirty talk and first kisses to an all-out relationship. Why commit, unless you're sure he's the one? The temptation to tease comes out in February, when you crave the thrill of the chase. Just don't toy with anybody's feelings. In April, a man could try to sweep you off your feet—whether or not you're available. Is it a distraction, or a wake-up call? If the relationship you're in has gotten stale, this might rekindle that spark… or bring it to its final end. Beware of lovers' conflicts in July, due to pressures at work or what one of your friends says about him. The ride only gets bumpier in August and September, as you struggle to determine truth from tall tales. Don't vent your frustration with threats or mean words. Once October arrives, there will be consequences to your actions.

Career

2007 is a make-or-break year in your career, and you'll clearly see whether you've made it by what happens. You are getting exactly what's due to you, for better or worse. Where you've worked long and hard, you'll reach a new level of achievement and respect. If you get bad news, don't throw in the towel. Adjust your attitude, then get back to work. Sink yourself into the pile of unfinished business in March. It'll keep your mind off any funk at home. If you take charge of a major task in June, you'll get lots of positive affirmation. But don't let it go to your head. Your big break could undo itself in August—as a direct result of how you handled the attention. After September, tighten up your network of career allies. Get a job for your mates, or ask them to help you find one. You'll all get further working together.

Money

This can be a very lucky year for you financially, if what you've already got is working for you. Sometimes, you must spend some bucks to bring in even more. What are you spending on? Is it adding value, or wasting hard-earned dollars? Start a moneymaking push in January, and keep at it through the end of the year. The biggest payoff may not come until December. For inspiration, decide in advance how you'd use the extra money. In April and May, bring someone else on board with your grand plan. Otherwise, you're choosing short-term selfishness over a profitable partnership. Watch how other people handle your money in August. They'll show their true colors.

Uh...yeah. Right.

Astrology Zone:

Taurus:

It looks like you may have had to lay out quite a bit of money lately, perhaps for a large purchase or to fulfill a major financial obligation. You may have bought a house or new furniture, or paid college tuition, as three examples. Of course, it may also be that at holiday time you were unusually generous to family and friends. No matter what was causing the need to write checks, you almost had to see a bit of a dent in your bank account. Now this heavy spending will begin to decline at mid-month, which always is good news.

I just bought $200 worth of groceries ("you saved $31 with Safeway!") because I don't know when the hell I'll get a ride over there for the next few months. Ouch. Plus Christmas. I am hoping to lay off the spending this month (yeah, right, I always say that).

I won't bother to repeat the stuff about trip-taking (she writes a bloody lot about how I should, should, should!), because given my family situation the only trip I'll be taking this month, IF, is to go home for a funeral. And who knows about that one.

Oh, and romance isn't really in the cards this month. Yup!

Scorpio:

This is pretty much the same damn thing as Taurus.

The first week of January will be particularly strong for setting goals and committing to New Year's resolutions. If you have one you'd like to launch into action, go right ahead without delay. No excuses!

As the month begins, you may be returning from a holiday trip. The full moon, January 3, will light your house of distant ports, and since the full moon will have an area of influence of plus or minus four days, your return may happen anytime this week.

Even though most people will be returning from a holiday trip, your chart shows equal possibility that you might suddenly get a chance to go away. You are a fixed sign, so doing any sort of spontaneous travel isn't usually something you'd consider, but it is good for you to be flexible - if it fits, give the idea a whirl.

Cancer, the place the full moon will fall, rules home and family, so there is a good chance that you would travel to see a relative, to take care of family business, or to view property for a possible purchase or sale.

It's a shame that I'm so damn tired of late that I'm not even in the mood to do the NYR's I was planning on doing.

Why yes, I returned from a holiday trip yesterday. Duh. Sorry, but...BIG DUH people are returning from trips this week.

Again with the "Travel!" Again, the only traveling I'm doing is if there's a death in the family. Ahem.

Romantically, if single, you already know your relationships have been anything but consistent. This month a family member (most likely your mother) will urge you to be more realistic about your expectations in love and in your view of a current romantic partner. You won't want to hear this, of course, but secretly, if pressed, you'll have to admit she has a point.

Okay, that gave me a laugh.