So I'm off reading Elsa again, and come across this. The LW has a very ugly custody problem going on with her not-budging, domineering ex, and asks if this is ever going to end. Elsa says yes, but not for two years. In the meantime, what to do?
You’re going to get out of this but you have two years to go. Pluto is transiting your T-Square which involves your Sun, Moon, Ascendant and Mars - and I can’t think of anything more hard core than that! So what you need is a new strategy and I can offer one.
You’re in a power struggle with your ex and it’s one you’re not going to win. At least not now and definitely not the way you’re going about this. And please don’t take that as criticism because it’s not meant that way. You sound very sane to me. You sound reasonable. But the way your chart is set up and considering the Pluto transit, I just don’t think you’re going to get anywhere fighting him - as your experience has proven. Instead you will have to do something much harder. I’ll tell you what will work and you’re going to hate this. But you may as well give it a try. Because you’re at your wits end, remember?
You’re going to have to go super yin. You are going to have to let this fire consume you. Change your stance to “Bring it on!” And I don’t mean, bring it on, because you’re going to fight it. I mean, bring it on because you can take it. You can take everything he can deliver and then some. He can pound you into the ground in any of the stupid little ways he knows and you will still be here! He will not kill you. You will not be destroyed.
But I’m not kidding. You must stop being aggressive in any way. Pull your horns in… all the way in. Lay low. Be still. Work with your emotion. Handle it. Let it burn inside and survive it.
And don’t misunderstand. This is not some kind of flippy trick. You are headed into what will no doubt be the most painful transition of your life. But this is unavoidable. And you are not going to be able to rise from any ashes until and unless you are ashes. And you’re not ashes if you’re still fighting, are you?
Let go. Let him try to burn you down. Let him try to destroy you and I promise you’ll find out he’s powerless and you’re not. He cannot kill the mother but no one will find this out until you let him try. I am very sorry. Super yin. Remember that.
(Fourth in a series.)
The Family Karmic Inheritance. Yeah, I relate to that.
My grandmother's's North Node and my mother's Sun sign are conjunct--basically the same--hinting that my
mother may have partially acted out some of the deep longings of her mother, which was to find finanacial and social security. My mother married well and didn't have to work---however her ambitions were thwarted in many ways, and she didn't achieve serenity in her life. Her North Node was in independent Aries close to the Sun sign of her grand-daughter. And to add to the connections, we see her South Node (where the Soul has come from) at the same sign and degree as my Sun, strongly suggesting a past life connection between us. And most striking of all was to see that my grandmother's Sun sign of Taurus is the same degree as my North Node, hinting that part of my karmic growth is to find the serenity that alluded both my mother and grandmother.
(Third in a series.)
I found this writeup on a talk by Michael Lutin. Man, I wish I could go to such (or afford it, 'cause $ka-ching$), because it sounds very interesting. This talks about how he constructed and wrote the book.
Checking the comments, I laughed at this one:
I was talking to a friend yesterday who is in a major crisis over whether to build her life around supporting her husband in his demanding profession or whether she should insist on her own individuality. I took a quick look at their charts. His NNode is in the 10th house, hers is smack dab on the Descendant, conjunct Venus.
Sounds like a perfect match- she's SUPPOSED to support him and give up her individuality, so if she wants to, the universe supports it. (Even if the idea of it makes me shudder. Then again, Libra North Node pretty much equates to seventh house, you're supposed to give up your individuality anyway. Uck. I think with my placement, I'm supposed to give it up to friends, though. Yeah, like THAT's worked well in the past.)
Also, he said that he mentions toward the back of the book that using his house system with the real Ascendant and not the solar chart produces an even more revealing picture of South Node issues. This is the one that we don't want to tell anybody, he said.
Hm, I know I looked at my Ascendant ones awhile back, but damned if I can remember what the results of that were. Must check. I suspect it had similar results, though.
Apparently, Michael Lutin has no idea of what to make of someone who has cross-aspects (1st Libra, 7th Aries). Me either. Other than "well, I guess you're gonna get a really big headache." Or act like me and my mother.
jm, s/he (I'm not sure which) of the aforementioned node series, had more to say about that in the comments here.
The SN in the 7th, no matter what sign, is about independence. Learning to leave relationships and the truth that you can do without them when the time comes. An eye on the exit sign is always a good idea. The SN in Aries 7th is major issues about dominance. This can work both ways as to who dominates, but ultimately the inequity doesn't work. One is forced to follow the other.
The NN in Libra is seeking fair and balanced equal relationships, first of all with the self(1st house). The result will be equal relationships with others you couldn't even have imagined. Dependency is everything here. Once you establish the center of the realtionship in yourself, then a natural dependency can follow. Until then, there is a squirm to get free of others. Selfishness, me first, etc. are all neceassary with the NN in the 1st. The problem with the reverse nodes like these is that selfishness was a detriment in the past, and has to be reworked, but not abandoned. Controlled and balanced. The constant power struggles in relationships are the way to relearn. Dominance is still required but only over the self with these nodes.
There is also a lesson in gentle and civilized behavior. And probably most of all...identity. So separation and return to togetherness are always a must. Learning a flow between these two, without extremes, panic, end of world, clinging, pushing away hard, etc.
I don't recall that he actually uses the word "North Node." He has devised an interesting method of numbering, depending on the year you were born, and then, based on that number, he tells you what issues you need to work on. Anyone who knows astrology will immediately recognize that number 3 involves communications style, number 4 is family issues, etc. Moreover, if you are familiar with nodes, you will realize that he treats these areas as though they were the South Node, and then tells you what you need to pour your energy into, which is the North Node.
So, JM, what he told me is that I need I to get out of the house and go to work! That no matter how much I want to stay in the comfort and security of seclusion, that my destiny is to get out there and be seen and heard.
Haven't I heard that somewhere before?
Furthermore, he nailed a couple of personal issues right on the head, in a frank, straightforward way that knocked me out of my chair. I was stunned for two or three days.
He has this way of telling you to get off your butt and get to work - no sugar-coating or making nice - and yet somehow you're laughing. And you just know he's right.
As for his numbering system, I can't say whether it would work the same way for everyone as it did for me. Maybe it was just a coincidence that the number he came up with for me corresponds to my South Node. It certainly is no coincidence, however, that he writes in "node language." Anyone who knows nodes will recognize it immediately.
I certainly can't disagree with that.
With Chiron very closely conjunct my Sun the lessons in pain through relationships started almost as soon as I started dating.
Amen. Who the hell are those people? God loves them and kisses their asses, I suspect. Alas, this pretty much defines 80% of my relatives, a lot of whom think I'm a freak.
Let’s see, yup, about 30 years later, and endless hours of study, both esoteric and psychological, lots of discussions with friends & lovers, I finally just hit the wall, surrendered, and THEN found my partner. To say I don’t comprehend how family members and friends met their S/O in college, married by about 25, and are still reasonably happy is an understatement!
The key that Lynn stressed in her article & I whole heartedly agree with is to understand one’s self. We need to figure out what our expectations are regarding long term committed relationships – the “unwritten contract”. What behaviors we expect of ourselves as well as those of our partners. What behaviors we can live with, and those we cannot . . . i.e., infidelity is out of the question for me. And the final piece of the puzzle is the most difficult . . . to surrender completely all expectations of ever finding someone."
SWEET FUCK, that is scarily accurate. And about how last week went anyway.
It would indeed be lovely to step out onto the stage and be noticed, adored, revered, worshipped, loved, the way you want to be, deserve to be, should be--freed from the responsibilities of a family that almost isn't any more. The only thing is, you are still if not totally hosuebound, then tied to traditional definitions of what you should be doing with respect to family and THAT you have to work your way out of.
You deserve a life of greater freedom and independence. You can't move on until you establish yourself as the credible, successful, competent, professional you are supposed to be. This is not an easy moment. You've got political issues up the wazoo to deal with, and your every move is being scrutinized. Stick with and when you're ready to go on to the next thing, it will happen. It isn't now.
Seriously, I SO DID THAT THIS WEEKEND HOLY CRAPPITY. Too bad trying to explain my absence to my also-Taurus mommy didn't go too well.
You may find yourself in an uncomfortable position vis-à-vis your friends, as you try both to connect with them and stay true to your growing need for a bit of pleasurably private retreat. Now, I know you've heard me wax on and on about you Taureans needing to get out and about, rather than hiding your heads ostrich-style under the sofa pillows because it's provides a predictably cushiony place to rest—that's the larger 2-year lesson of Saturn trudging through your solar 4th. But in the short term, your ruler Venus is disappearing behind the 12th-house curtain for a few weeks, which temporarily lets you off this Saturnine hook… granting a more enjoyable, and genuinely nurturing, relation to hanging-out by your lonesome. I'm only officially advocating an escape from public view if you think of it as preparation for a grander 'coming-out' or 'return to society' in mid-March, once Venus returns home to roost and the next solar eclipse flushes your system clean. In terms of your relationships with friends, the discomfort's liable to come when you have to explain yourself—why you won't be available for a short spell, what you hope to accomplish during this 'off' time, and how you promise to reemerge on the other end refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to groove. Without the frank conversations, you're essentially shunning your friends… even if that's not your intention. How else should they see it? Well, however you kindly ask them to. If they're truly good friends, they'll support you. But if they only make you feel more self-conscious, they might not have your back.
Before you go gettin' up in anyone-and-everyone-else's grill about your great new idea, your great new loverboy or -girl, or just how generally great you are… get back into your own kitchen and keep tinkering with the recipe. Don't, however, misinterpret my tellin'-it-like-it-is first sentence to mean that you're off-base about all that 'greatness'—hells no, you and all you've got going on may really be that great. And still, Scorpio, there are a handful of ways it could all be even better… with some more private soul-searching, as well as several hours of good old-fashioned sweat-and-tears (the enjoyable kind, of course, since you should be happy to pour effort into what's a genuine expression of you). While you may be quite enthused about the latest developments (and rightfully so), that's no reason to be uppity and snottily self-important about it. Just as your confidence level soars, so too will other people's interests in you—not only the ones you want, but the wannabes and hangers-on, too. Be kind and generous to all of 'em, even if you're not into what they're hawking. (Remember 'you reap what you sow'?) Treat everybody how you'd want to be treated. Then, quit hyping how much greatness is all around you, and return to making more of it.
(Second in a series. My apologies for the formatting in this one, but Vox DOES NOT LET ME hand code format, and what I cut-and-pasted came out really funny no matter what the hell I did.)
Some say that we can integrate the two nodes and live a good life. Some say we must choose one or the other. I am of the opinion that we have to learn to relinquish the grip on the South Node. It is the most addictive spot in the psyche, and where we go whenever we are insecure, because it is so deeply familiar. Most people want to drag this node with them as they merrily go to the North for happiness, but I haven't seen it work this way. The reason I think we need to leave this point is because it requires no effort whatsoever to effect this behavior. It's entirely automatic. Habitual. It needs no more cultivation. No more energy. It will continue to act without our effort.
Until we can disengage from this habitual behavior, I think it is almost impossible to reach the full potential written in our charts. It IS virtually impossible to get there, as strong as the lure to the safe and familiar is. But the end is always disappointing at the South Node. There is no growth. Nothing new. An empty safety that isolates and shortchanges. Satisfaction is missing. So the South often dominates and keeps us in the ancient self that wants to move ahead to the unknown.
In a sense, I think the North promises another birth. The inability to see what's ahead is the fear.
If people have planets of their own conjunct the South it is extremely difficult. One great antidote is relationships that conjunct the North.
And invariably, people will back away from others with heavy North attributes or contacts for fear of giving up the addiction. It is amazing to see the consistency of all of this. How we cling to our discomfort.
If you get in one with planets on the South, trouble is ahead. It might take a minute, but it will come. The thing is, is sometimes that lesson is necessary.
North node in Libra:
The South Node in Aries is a preoccupation with independence or dominance, resulting in loneliness that often seems impossible to erase, no matter how many relationships the natives get into and out of, or even stay in. There is a fear of exposing weakness and they push people away, only to find themselves wanting to be with them again. They want companionship but they undermine the commitment habitually. There is too much preoccupation with the self.
Me-ism. The problem with SN Aries is the reflection of themselves they see everywhere. Always about Me. But they've seen enough. They know themselves. And they know it's time to curtail this self-absorption and look at others as they appear and not as mirrors, or verifications of their own identities. They often come back to this lonely look at the self, unfulfilled. Even when they act like they are fascinated with the other, deep down they often are still looking at the Me. People sense it and separations result, sending the SN back to isolation. The Exit. The SN Aries comes in, often bounding, but keeps a steady eye on the exit sign. Their independence is threatened by the indication of real relationship and the entrapment is the horror. Racing ahead too fast, and leaving them in the dust can also be a practice of this nodeholder.
Deep down they know they are kind and lovable, but often they end up appearing otherwise, or are on the receiving end of otherwise, to assure the escape back to the self. One foot already out the door when the shoe drops.
Anger and Conflict. Often a lot of it. It can manifest in many ways, or not overtly at all. Anger was often the tone in the family while growing up, even if unexpressed, and sometimes frustration with the selfish demands of a parent. Aries is the warrior and I think these people know the danger, but still respond to the battle cry, the excitement, even feeling they've battled enough. They would like to sheathe the sword. Fear of marriage.
The Libra NN is seeking the best in one-on-one relationship. They have innate talent for sharing with others, and have a genuine interest in what they are all about...likes, dislikes, quirks, habits, routines, favorite songs, fears, dreams, ....everything. Lasting companionship based on true reciprocity is the goal. People who are there for them. Because of the SN memory of aloneness, ideally they are ready, and the most willing to participate in this kind of partnership. Lovability. People adore them. No question, no conditions. They like them for who they are and sense their instinct for harmony. At first the SN goes along with it, but often the fear arises that the other will be gone, so the separation is initiated. Still the people love them and wait. Marriage and friendship. Often the SN Aries are embarrassed with the choices they've made and feel they will never find the right one. While others take it in stride, the NN in Libra sees a high stakes situation that can make or break the goodness of their lives. A great deal of pressure is on and often they will revert to their known solo selves to avoid the failures. Yet most I know still have the Aries trait of never giving up, and try again they do. Justice and fairplay. No one is more balanced in judgement and willing to play by the rules established together than this node. The age old memory of extreme competition and winning every time simply adds energy to the game if working right, as the enjoyment and polite exercise of strategy win over personal victory. Often exhausted from playing the adversary, they are the fairest of the fair in resolving conflict and seeing that everyone gets a good deal. They are experts at mediation, and helping others sort out their interpersonal difficulties, when the SN isn't preoccupied with running from its own entanglements.
Grace, beauty, and the sharing of aesthetics. NN Libras love enjoying the finer things in life with their partners and friends. A piano concert, the ballet, art shows, or a walk in a flowered park are heaven to this nodeholder. They love discussing the shared experience and hearing the opinions and insights of the participants. A play or movie with a light supper afterwords to go back through the plot and character portrayal, coming to a conclusion as to the meaning of the drama, is a delight no one enjoys more. Fire to air. NN Libras are learning the pleasures of the intellect and are forgoing some of the fiery over-excitement of the SN Aries. Crisis, bombast, adrenalin, emergency and all the accompanying sensations are gladly given up for the peaceful meanderings of thoughts shared with intelligent people. Interdependence. One of the most challenging aspects of the SN Aries is allowing the natural dependence of a complete relationship to balance their already well established self-sufficiency. Their biggest fear is that they will lose autonomy, their survival might be at stake in some way, not realizing that the independence will actually be reinforced. They will no longer have to work so hard to maintain it. They often don't get far enough into the experience to discover this, but once they do, they know that the independence often stays intact while the loneliness diminishes. Their well established knowledge of caring for themselves is often handed over to the partner, giving strength to both, the opposite of the weakness they fear will be the exchange. A lessening of dominance and leadership, allowing others to make decisions, proves to be a greater relief than they could have imagined, as the power is shared and cooperation comes easily. Patience, sensitivity, and consideration prove to be most enjoyable after all. You-ism turning to you-and-me-ism.
By far the most glorious trait of the NN in Libra is the ability to bring out the potential in others. The memory of strength and skilled survival are passed to those lucky enough to receive it when the energy is fully shared. In this consolidation, the NN Libra gets company, appreciation, loyalty, and even a probability of a future together. Projects in duo, including a fulfilling life with a companion, are in the stars for this person, when his Libran kindness is embraced. The lessons learned in Aries are brought to the North Node as the base of strength that will never be lost, and the balancing qualities of Libra are learned through new experience.
I've had relationships where I got involved with the "wrong" person, which, upon ending only seemed to reinforce my South Node/Aries tendancies towards independence and self-centeredness.
(I'm going to be doing a series (of sorts) on nodes. This is the first in the series.)
I've been meaning to do some sort of review of SunShines on here, but of course forgot about it. For now, let's just leave it as, YOU MUST GO FUCKING BUY IT, PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD. It should be one of the top books someone should get on astrology. (Some day I should do a post on that.) He has it structured based on a combination of sun sign (or rising sign) and your nodes, and you're given a speciflc number entry to check on yourself, and then are recommended to read two chapters in particular in the back of the book about what you do and what you should be doing.
Instead, I wrote some entries on ye olde other journal on this topic (mainly because I was doing a daily posting schedule that month there and needed some freaking writing fodder), mainly related to my reactions to the "Independence" chapter in the book. In general, it was both scary accurate and deeply depressing for me.
I had a very depressing conversation with my mother on the phone Thursday night. It pretty much started out with the usual: "Whyyyyyy don't you like to talk on the phone? I love talking on the phone. I want us to be Oprah and Gayle and talk on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why don't you check your phone messages often?" (Because you leave me 12 at a time, dammit, and now I don't want to check them AT ALL when I have to wade through all that to see if anyone else fucking called.) "Why do you even have a phone? Why won't you turn your phone on so I can call you? Talk to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!"
I said that I don't like talking on the phone, I don't like being interrupted by phone calls, I have a hard time listening to conversations without visuals attached. So, no, I don't want to be Oprah and Gayle. (And frankly, when I did talk to her Every Single Day for OVER A YEAR, I was incredibly miserable, and perked up noticeably once I cut her phone calls. There is only so much bitching about her work I can listen to after awhile.)
This led into a big ol' lecture out of her about how I should really want to ask about someone's day, and how I'm self-centered, and I really need to choose people and put them first and live my life for them instead of myself.
And let me just say, it was pretty well fucking dead on the same kinds of stuff about me from SunShines. I guess this is the kind of thing you get when your mother has the exact same opposites nodes as you. I bug and bug her to LEARN SOME FREAKING INDEPENDENCE ALREADY, and she ignores it and bitches at me to start looking for other people to take care of, y'know, like HER.
It was a kick upside the head in general, though. And yet, I still want to say, "But when other people are letting you know that you suck all of the time, why the hell should I be seeking them out? Why the hell should other people be my only source of joy and happiness if all I hear about is how I suck?" I wouldn't have those voices in my head if others hadn't installed them there.
Whee, February. Love is in the air like a fart in a car.
These are from Victoria Bazeley's e-mail (not posted online yet) and the Third Age blog.
Taurus: Eligible, interested Taureans are in the midst of a two year eclipse cycle designed to plop them into a suitable relationship before 2008.
You've gotta be kidding me, right?
This is reminding me of that.
Meh, I won't hold my breath.
Some Taureans have already found themselves delightfully so plopped. The energy around Valentine’s Day is a bit bobbly, though, for these Taureans, as there’s a bit of a break-up/make-up vibe in the air. If all goes well, the romantic relationship of the moment will turn into something serious by September when Saturn moves into the Taurus solar 5th house. Sometime before the end of April, Taureans in a new romantic relationship should find out if all is going to go well. Advice for Valentine’s Day is to listen, with alert attention, to anything your significant other has to say, but to hold off reading too much into it until the energy settles down a bit. Taureans in any kind of a relationship should feel free to celebrate with some good old-fashioned passionate and romantic sex. Single Taureans should keep their hopes up for good romantic energy by the end of September or October.
TAURUS: APRIL 21 - MAY 20What a month March is astrologically, Taurus. You could see breakups and makeups in the areas of friendship and romance.
I'm going to vote for "not." Yes, I've hinted about some interest going on, but it's pretty well guaranteed to not pan out due to life circumstances (more his than mine). Which is all for the best. And at any rate, I'd rather either have someone suitable around or nobody at all. So.
If you play your cards right, you could find out between now and April whether the new love of your life is going to be the one you get really serious about.
"If all does not become clear this spring, know that the universe is firmly intending for you to have both the right friends and the right lovers by the end of October of this year."
...yeah. Right. That'd be nice. But.
I just can't help but laugh at that. It's not like that happens every spring or anything.
"If you're currently single and don't want to be--socialize! Take the lead in arranging some group activities or go anywhere that lots of people congregate. By March 17, you'll have the protection of Venus in your own sign, indicating that no matter what happens in the early part of the month, there is love in the air for you.
If romance isn't on your agenda, then you could be dealing with the fallout of an opposition between Saturn and Neptune at the end of February. Saturn has been emphasizing home and family stuff at the same time Neptune has been emphasizing career stuff. Hopefully you got your home-related obligations under control last month and are in a good position to take advantage of Mars in Aquarius from February 25 on to really turn on the wattage when it comes to career. The sun and a solar eclipse in your 11th house will help you figure out your goals. You only get this chance to really run with career energy once every couple of years, Taurus, so jump on it!
Finally, Venus in Aries in your solar 12th house until the 17th indicates this is a good time to spend money on some pampering and private rejuvenation. If you could indulge in something both appealing and healthy, that would be ideal.
Well, I suppose I can't argue with that.
Scorpio: Uranus in the Scorpio solar 5th house of romance for the past couple of years has been subjecting Scorpios to some bobbly romantic energy for a couple of years in hopes of getting said Scorpios past their romantic issues and into a brave new world of exciting possibilities for deep connection.
Well, that'd be interesting...but then again, I doubt these days that working out your fucked-up personal issues while with someone else really works.Getting past romantic issues sometimes requires confronting them, but for the next couple of months, Uranus and an eclipse cycle are more interested in getting single Scorpios into a new relationship so they can confront things with the help of a creative and stimulating partner.
Ooops, too late!So some single Scorpios have the definite possibility of getting some thrilling and unexpected romantic news around Valentine’s Day.
So on the one hand, Scorpio, money and your personal resources continue to be powerful and important themes this year as both Jupiter and your ruler transit your solar house of both in preparation for a conjunction near the end of the year. One of the many things this means is that you could end up traveling in pursuit of money this year, or you could spend money traveling. Either is fine as long as you end up feeling like you are closer to your personal goals as a result.
The traveling could be the result of your career aims, as Jupiter in trine to Saturn in your career house indicates that the planets want you to devote (or even sacrifice) some time to your career aspirations. This may not make you entirely happy, as Neptune in your solar house of home and family just wants you to park your butt in your residence and eschew all galivanting around. It may want you home-bound because you have a lovely home to enjoy, or it may want you at home because there are issues and problems there to deal with. This month, the conflict between staying or going may be particularly acute as Mars will join Neptune in pressing you to deal with stuff at home at the same time Saturn wants you to deal with stuff away.
I need to go for something... hopefully on the inspiration front. That's what I'm rooting for.You may want to opt for the sticking closer to home route as the other hand in your solar chart has to do with relationships, which can take a decided turn for the better. If you've wondering if you'll ever fall in love again, this may be the month you find out the answer is yes. In a similar vein, if you've been wondering if you'l ever feel the spark of creative inspiration again, this may be the month when you experience inspiration in spades. The bottom line that all this points to is that this month you will need to go for it some area, professional or personal. You need to be the one to consciously decide which area and why, because Jupiter in your resources house is all about clarifying your values. It's an important choice, and yours to make this month.