Saturn Return Can Bite Me

Hey, remember that whole Saturn thing?

Know-It-All Astrologer:

On April 19th, Saturn moved direct in Leo. Which, of course, Saturn takes literally and starts directing us to take action, demanding us to focus on goals, goals, goals. In September, Saturn will be moving on into Virgo so this is the final opportunity for those with Leo prominent in their charts and/or with Saturn in Leo to take advantage of Saturn's always necessary and usually annoying lessons. Take responsibility (not to be confused with blame) for whatever is showing up in your life and for achieving the goals most important to you. Focus on what you can learn to become a stronger and wiser person. Saturn's lessons aren't always easy, but they always lead to enduring rewards. Saturn teaches us how to master climbing up the rockiest of mountains, because once we do, we can climb anything that gets in our way.

It may very well be my "final opportunity," and I am certainly feeling that rush now. However, I can't say that I've actually uh...set any goals. I'm still trying to figure those out.

Still.

Still!

All those predictions of romance and all for naught

So I'm reading Mystic Medusa (no permalink) and come across this:

"So, for over 10 years I have been reading about my sign, Aquarian.
This week is the last straw for me! Yet another hint of romance, yet another tantalising suggestions of "exciting love activity".
How is it I am now 40 and still alone. It is shameful to say but I have had only 1 brief 2 year relationships in those 40 years.
Now I know that having romance forecast in our star sign won't overcome obstacles such as having 2 heads, highly visible scars or still wearing the pyjamas that the psychiatric hospital gave you. I am reasonably presented, educated, professional female. I really do fit the standard Aquarian mould and feel very comfortable with that.
And yet I haven't had so much as a cuppa of coffee with a man in nearly 15 years.
I'm think I'm fairly robust emotionally, but I must say reading your weekly hints and suggestions of romance and love - and then living yet another ordinary week is getting me down.
What to do ?
Can I adopt a new star sign ?
Miss Ted Seven"

"Dear MIss Ted Seven,
Hmm. Fix the Feng Shui? Get a rose quartz? The Venusian bra trick? A new bed? I cannot understand this. All I can imagine is that you have hopelessly high standards? If you have friends you can have a boyfriend. A man-friend. A bloke. Whatever. I mean, you are clearly sociable...Perhaps you are lurking about with these friends of yours too much?"

1. I love that someone finally said, "Every time I get a forecast of romance, it never fucking happens."
2. What the heck is "the Venusian bra trick?" Does it involve pulling rabbits out of your tits? Or perhaps some of the Upper-Class Twits of the Year?
3. Not everyone wants to date their male friends...and who says the male friends want to date her either? (Dating guy friends has equaled nothing but badness for me, which is why almost all of my guy friends are of the married/taken/not gonna come on to me variety.)

I wouldn't say being an Aquarius means you get relationships (god knows my Aquarian ex and Aquarian ex-best-friend got a LOT of play), but you're probably just not that into them. So it wouldn't surprise me. As a Taurus, however, I have no excuse :P

Planet Wave-erly

Weekly horoscope:

Taurus (April 19-May 20)
Having faith in the gift you give the world is a mature state of mind, not, as many fear, being "egotistical." You may not be able to see it now; there is a slowly developing quality to your chart in this one respect, but when a breakthrough arrives, it arrives at full strength. What occurs this weekend is the latest in a series of developments that is doing no less than setting you free to be yourself. This may be the very thing you fear the most: exercising your prerogative to exist as the very person you are, entirely outside the bounds and limits that as a child were set on your creativity and bliss.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
Those born under your sign are typically too conservative to express their full potential in the world. Though few would associate Scorpio with any kind of reticence or prolonged hesitation, I don't need to convince you. But what I may need to convince you of is that the idea that is currently exploding in your heart and soul, and moreover the feeling of freedom that is coming with it, is something to mount like the white tiger and ride like the master you are. You have not waited this long merely to remain pure of heart, or to live a life unsullied by ever having made the wrong choice. There was a time when you used to love making mistakes, because they were proof that you were trying passionately. But that is who you are, not who you were.

From the same link:

By Priya Kale with Eric Francis
 
You are on a compelling journey of self-discovery right now. That curiously too hot to handle sensation you feel is probably deep passion coupled with insatiable desire to break free from all that has long held you back. You are a Taurus and needless to say, change is something that doesn't happen overnight for you. But whether you realize it or not, your inner blacksmith has been at hard at work, and likely what seems so sudden and immediate has been in the fire and on the anvil many times before.
 
The changes you are going through may seem jarring, but the process is both structured and synchronized with your greater good. So far as I can tell, you are at the stage of mental assessment. Even where your feelings are concerned, you are more inclined to size them up like the balls on a billiard table than to sense your inner reality like a poet or painter. This will work well for now; soon enough, you will be at the point where you can feel the necessity for change, your desire for change, and moreover your true need for nourishment -- something that will gently guide all Taureans as Venus enters Cancer in a short time.
 
Questioning your previously unchallenged assumptions about your relationships and what you want from them has been a long, winding road. It has come with unexpected losses and gains; you have made some choices, both easy and difficult; but as time is working out, you are actually able to concede the point that you not only want different things from your emotional experiences than you did over the past couple of years, but that you have actual needs. Those needs are one thing when assessed with your brain and another thing when assessed with your heart and soul. Be aware of the difference.
 
The unfolding scenario is offering you options you had never even considered or imagined available. The inner conflict you are currently enduring is enabling you to confront yourself in a constructive way -- rare for a Taurus -- and also creating sufficient heat and friction that your ego defenses are being melted away in the process. That, in turn, will make it obvious that you can let go of some of your emotional defenses, and open up where it comes to actually expressing your deeper feelings to others, not merely what you felt yesterday.
 
A mighty alignment of planets, and two odd points called the lunar nodes, have been involved with all this progress. The alignment involves Mars and Uranus in Pisces, now conjunct; Vesta and Jupiter in Sagittarius, also conjunct; and your ruling planet Venus moving through Gemini. Peeling back a layer or two, we have a setup describing a huge upheaval over what is really important to you. You seem to be going to and fro on a series of questions that on one level appear to be a mental debate. What is happening could be more accurately described as this. You are in an unusually flexible state of mind. You are, at the same time, coming under the influences of people and events that are actually getting you to question your values. You are actually re-evaluating your life, and you have -- for the moment -- the impetus to change.
 
In this whole scenario, you are signified by Venus in Gemini. While you may feel like you're getting tossed around like a pith ball, the fact is that Gemini gives you the power of decision, and it gives you the ability to suspend your security-seeking nature for a while. I suggest you make decisions that you will feel compelled to stick to in your less secure or more sentimental moments.
 
We could analyze the whole paradox of your life with one quick comment: you try to think with your feelings. Feelings are good; feelings are important; but feelings do not allow the luxury of logic, or of cool assessment that allows for the experience of secure, sane and rational choices. It does not take much observation of the human race to see that when things go forward for us, they go forward because we make decisions. Even when "things just happen," such as a flood, a UFO encounter or meeting someone you really like, that is an opportunity for decision.
 
Imagine the cosmos is a huge game, and the only way to move through the layers of the game is to decide things. When you stop moving, you have stopped deciding; when you resume motion, you have resumed the process of making decisions.
 
You clearly have options that are confusing you now. They seem to be "six of one and half a dozen of the other." But it is not an even dozen; rather, it's a baker's dozen, so six is not enough. You have sufficient basis for the decision you are trying to make; I suspect that up until this point, the real issue has been one of lacking confidence. And that, I trust, is a think, or rather, a thing of the past.

Somewhat off topic...

Free Destiny Card Readings.

Your Birth Card is the most important symbol of your karmas for this lifetime. It is also called your Soul Card or your Sun Card.
Ten of Clubs: The Teacher Card
The Ten of Clubs have come full circle in their quest for knowledge. They have a powerful mind and a consuming desire for more knowledge as well. In this life they must learn to regain the control over their mind which has developed somewhat of a life of its own. The best path back to self-mastery is to direct the mind into right motives and higher principles. Their Three of Hearts in Mars makes for emotional restlessness, which can be a strain on relationships. The strong desire for spiritual wisdom and study of spiritual philosophies will bring contact with many uplifting groups and will increase enjoyment of life. The Ten of Clubs have good luck in work and labor relations and could do very well in the real estate business. Their Three of Diamonds Pluto Card signifies that in this life they will be doing much experimenting as they work towards finding out what really satisfies them. They often spend a lot of time deciding what is their life's work. Once they decide, they can rise to the heights. Choosing things that allow for freedom and travel gives them the best results.

Your Karma Cards are the:
Jack of Spades - You owe something to this person and they reflect you in some way.
Four of Spades - This person owes you and you are their mirror in some way.

This is Long Range Card which is considered to be one of the most important influences of the year- a place where a lot of your attention will go.
This year's card: The Basic Meaning of the Seven of Spades
The powerful Seven of Spades will challenge you to rise to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting. Its challenges will manifest mainly in the areas of work and health, areas where you are likely to be holding some negative patterns that need to be changed. If you are willing to take responsibility for your condition and practice positivity in spite of circumstances, you can realize the powerful spiritual potential of this card and attain new heights. In its highest form, this is the card of FAITH.

You are currently in the Mercury 52-day period of your year. This period began on 04/24/2007 and will end on 06/15/2007.
The Basic Meaning of the Jack of Spades
The Jack of Spades is probably the most creative card in the entire deck. It is called the 'Actor Card', the 'Card of the Thief' and the 'Spiritual Initiate Card'. Just how it manifests in your life will depend a lot on what are your values and your occupation.
In all cases, it is wise to safeguard your personal property when the Jack of Spades is present. Just be more careful than usual because there is a strong potential for someone to either rip you off or in some other way do something dishonest.
Being such a creative force, the Jack of Spades can bring great success in any of the artistic pursuits. This is an energy that can be used to further one's success in many areas.
Finally, the Jack of Spades can represent an initiation into a higher lifestyle. For example, you might read a book that inspires you to start a regular plan of exercise. Because that book caused a positive change in your basic lifestyle, this would be considered to be a spiritual initiation. Of course, there are more profound spiritual initiations than a new exercise program, but keep in mind that the Jack of Spade's initiation will have a definite effect on what we do day in and day out.

Birthday horoscopes

Before I had this site, I used to compile my collection of "on your birthday" horoscopes every year elsewhere. Now, I'm reprinting the collection here as well.

Today's Bridgett:

"For April 24: You feel a vague sense that things really need to change, but continue to push back at this. You don't like change for change's sake and resist being pressured into anything. The truth, however, is that this time the warnings are coming from within. Your heart and soul are telling you that something isn't quite what it should be, and that change must be initiated. No one can start this process and keep it going except you. Without your full cooperation, it won't happen. Are you willing? Are you ready? A number of you have recently observed a friend or acquaintance making difficult choices. Little reminders will continue to pop up until you take control and make a few yourself."

That sounds about right.

Lovepsychic.com:
"Happy Birthday Taurus: Situations are beginning to ease! You’ve had a chance to reconsider the things you’ve valued over the past year, and there may have been a shift in your feelings. You now view the worth of certain things differently, such as your home, family and work. All and all, money should be better for you! With abundant Jupiter visiting one of your financial houses, obtaining more money can be a lot easier. This is a great time to get your debts in order. Seek a consolidation loan, focus on raising your credit rating, ask for a promotion on your job! This is all possible with Jupiter over looking your financial affairs. Your friendships have multiplied! With Uranus, the planet of change in your house of associates, you’ve met lots of new people and have probably bonded with a few special ones. Love relationships can be challenging. Your need for romance has changed quite a bit over the past 12 months. All current partnerships can feel unstable at this time. The Universe is giving you an opportunity to take a good look and make sure you’re happy in love, or at least on the right path to happiness!"

Holiday Mathis:
"IF APRIL 24 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Your charisma is positively contagious this year. Nurture your talents. Take on new artistic projects in May, and you really shine. Singles make a romantic impression in May and June. The relationship is linked to your financial success in August. You'll be drawing people and things toward you all year. You can count on Capricorn and Leo people. Your lucky numbers are 33, 7, 45, 24 and 2."

Georgia Nichols:
"IF APRIL 24 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Mystery author Sue Grafton (1940) shares your birthday today. You have a strong, nurturing side to you. You always protect your loved ones. You also have a strong desire to enlighten others about your own discoveries. You view this as sharing. Despite your love of family, your career is very important to you. The year ahead will be full of new beginnings and new possibilities. Open any door!"

Linda Black:
"Today's Birthday (April 24). Household expenses bite into your savings this year, much to your annoyance. Don't worry. Shop carefully. Make every purchase a good investment."

(Not terribly exciting.)

Eugenia Last:
"Happy Birthday: Don't waste time worrying about everyone else. Instead, focus on what you can do to make your life better. Use your charm and knowledge and you will make headway. This is the year to be forward-thinking and go after your dreams. Your numbers are 15,17,26,31,35,39
Birthday Baby: You are dashing, adorable and can get everyone to eat out of your hand. You are outgoing and demanding. You think big and are never afraid to take action."

Sally Brompton:
"April 24, 2007 -- Laughter will never be far away over the coming 12 months, even when you are focused on serious matters such as your career. Is the world outside your door as bad as some people claim? Or is it their negative attitude that makes it look that way? Always keep a smile on your face and life will always be fun."

Detroit News:
"If April 24 is your birthday
Your long-term goals and ambitions can become a reality if you wait until late December or early January to put your ideas into motion. That's a prime time to receive the answer to your prayers or obtain a favor from someone in the position to help you succeed. Between mid-August and mid-October, be responsible and avoid starting anything new - such as buying a house or starting a new job. Be conscientious and as accurate as possible, as no one will give you a break if you make a mistake or forget to pay a bill. Rest assured that you will have great help from the universe on many levels near the end of the year."

That explains a lot!

While digging around for birthday horoscopes (see upcoming post), I skimmed through this Scorpio one and then it hit me!

The Uranus Factor
Exotic, interesting people continue to capture your romantic interest throughout 2007. The more offbeat and rebellious, the stronger your attraction.

Oh, so THAT's why the only guys I think are hot any more are ones that are way too young to date!

Hm, when does Uranus get out of my fifth house again? Will this wear off then?

Oh, the irony.

Found this site today, the CyberSeer.

Here's my results:

Um. Yeah.

Huh.

This week's AstroBarry Scorpio:

Please be mindful of how upsetting the upcoming week could be for many of the folks in your life. A Mars-Uranus conjunction, like the one applying to exactitude over the weekend, is one of the most telling astro-indicators of abrupt actions, erratic energy-releases and sudden creations of chaos. Naturally, the potential unsettling effects are too numerous to name… and the Uranus factor itself only adds to the unpredictability. But you, Scorpio, are one of the folks likeliest to dodge the worst of it—if, in fact, that's a desired goal on your part—simply by staying out of everyone else's pathways to pandemonium. That doesn't necessarily mean you must keep to yourself; rather, it's about being smart enough to know when not to launch an ill-timed confrontation or dispense unsolicited suggestions. As long as you remain the star of your own show and don't require anybody else to play a certain role in the production, you're good as gold. However, if your plotline is a love story, all bets are off: It could be a smashing success or, just as easily, a stinker of mythic proportions. Why? Because other people's participation is also required, and cannot be reliably counted on to adhere to specific specifications. (If you're really hungry for the intimacy, though, the possible intertwinement may be just what you're after.) Instead of inserting yourself into the eye of others' storms, focus on your own gratification. After all, you're the lucky one with the planetary permission to act zany and weird, thanks to Mars and Uranus conjoining in your solar 5th. And you need no reason to do so, other than it's fun or because you want to. For added enjoyment, spend time playing with kids… to get into the space of pure imagination, where everything becomes a game, and to stir up your creative juices.

Hey, I didn't need to see that nekkid at 8 a.m.!

Planet Waves has naked masturbating pictures in the horoscope today. Argh. C'mon people, don't add porn when nobody's expecting it.

Anyhoo, just wanted to post this one (so you can skip that):

"Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
No longer are there boundaries between sex, love, romance, fantasy and reality. Not for you -- not in that heart and soul of yours. This is a meltdown of the most astonishing kind; a loss of the borders and distinctions that prevent you from experiencing internal one-ness and, as a result, one-ness with others. There are just a few problems you may want to address cognitively. One affects you if you happen to wear a wedding band or engagement ring. The disappearance or momentary removal of the normal boundaries, combined with a deep ripple of creative energy, may place you in situations you don't want to talk about. The good news is that you're unlikely to be the only one facing this little dilemma. Just remember that if you live outside the law you must be honest. And in any event, the code you live by must be your own, even if that code consists of a few simple agreements you have with yourself, for example, to take care of your body, and for that matter, your soul."

More Michael Lutin

Taurus week in review:

Families. We always think the ones next door or down the block are the happy, normal ones. What makes a family a family? Probably the ability to stick with the passel of banshees we fear could leave us at any time, or worse, that they won't and we'll end up stuck taking care of them. Even so, it's a brave person who can be there for others to the end only then to be liberated, freed and reborn.

That sums up life in general for me.