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09/16/2011

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Why would you get into trouble for posting it? I apologized for something a few times, and then responded to some people before taking a break. I was wanting to stfu, and I plan to.

It's odd that for years, I was very mature. Saturn in Libra had a strong effect on me as a child, going through my 12th, and then crossing my 1st house - I was a very adult, calm (on the outside) and kind kid. For some reason, over the past year or so, I've been feeling less mature - in reaction to certain events of various kinds - and I've owned it, and said that I'm trying to correct it. I was trying to switch mindsets, and not complain so much - especially since it was so embarrassing, and something that I never would have done in the past - but she (I) still had trouble. I didn't create a shitstorm, it was a storm in a teacup (or an unintended few more). My usual way of going into seclusion wasn't working for me, because I needed company - not attention, but company.

I remember the things that people were saying about Jon Mayer, so I'm glad that you posted this. I know someone who has Saturn transiting his third, right about now, and he is actually impressing me in ways, but not with his treatment of me. He has a blog, and some of what he writes doesn't fly with me, but he has been in a very dark place in the past, and he seems to be more or less maintaining his lighter heart - only he still takes no responsibility for anything. That bit doesn't impress me. I held my dramatic feelings in, and was trying to be my usual, polite, sane self, that feels so far away from me at times now - and he acted more smug and continued to deny responsibility for absolutely anything, or to ignore it when I told him the way certain things were affecting me. It was hurting, but I was ignored, and told that my feelings didn't matter. He's trying to help other people, but I've been trying to tell him that he can't do that when he ignores what they're feeling and telling him.

Saturn in my 12th has felt like I'm unravelling, when I used to handle things in a very mature manner. I'm feeling somewhat okay today, but what about transits that literally leave one feeling crazy? Why would something unravel, that didn't need fixing? or swing to the opposite direction.

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