"The New Moon at 27° and Aquarius can help heal any splits, rips or tears in your relationships caused by the blue red lunar eclipse of 31 January.
Don’t confabulate, though, and think it will clear up all your zits, make your ex-boyfriend turn good,
Or get Jesus to come by to pick you up in a powder blue vintage Buick convertible.
This message will, however, help you balance your priorities since the last eclipse in August 2017… Especially if there’s been any confusion between love and friendship."
So.... yeah, that's not happening. Sigh. I don't know what the hell else it would clear up though.