Saturn Return Can Bite Me

I want a private island where I can just ignore other human beings already.

Okay. So I am not a person who really buys into Mercury retrograde. Now, I got born with it so perhaps it doesn't apply to me in general-- at least, I don't have broken shit more than usual or travel problems or whatever when others do. Before this I had one major MR-type incident happen during an MR and otherwise it has been uneventful.

I have, however, been expecting August to be a month where shit is likely to start flying. Not even due to astrology, mostly because my mother and my shrink are going to be on vacation in the first two weeks of August and when everyone goes AWOL, shit is likely to go off. If I had a boyfriend right now I'd be expecting an impending dumping under these circumstances or something (it's happened before), but at least I don't have to worry about THAT.

But JEEBUS H MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST DID I GET DRAMA BOMBED within the last 24 hours.

(a) After having The Talk, my mom's boyfriend is really super not willing to commit and she still doesn't want to break up. I have been attempting to talk sense into her. Like "you're in your 60's, if you want another husband, do not be monogamously committed to an out-of-towner for 4 years waiting for him to change his mind" kind of sense. I don't really expect it to last because this is the first time she's been in love in 40+ years and thus she is crazy.

(b) You know how they say all the ex-people come back during MR?... Yeah. I DID NOT NEED THAT.

Especially mindfuckery to me is that a bunch of ex-friends have re-occurred again last night and I just don't know what to make of it. Are they possibly back for good now or what? Am I welcome amongst them on a regular basis again or was it just a one-off thing? Or a casual thing? What is going on?

I just don't get why someone would utterly dump another human being and then sortakindavaguely change their mind and contact them again. Especially when they seem to be doing it in a "just to say hi" sort of way and disappear again. I do not like it. Either come back for good or let it go, man, but don't poke me with a stick and then run away. I'd rather people just outright hated me than be all, "yeah, I still like you, I've just moved on and don't care if you are in my life again. But hi!"

I found this kind of funny today because I am avoiding some people and yet I had to rewrite an e-mail 3 times because Yahoo kept deleting it.

TV Astrology: Switched At Birth

So I'm a big fan of Switched At Birth, which is rather ridiculously good for a family show. People are sympathetic and mostly sensible and you feel for everybody and it's awesome. I highly recommend it (go look on Hulu, the pilot's online).

Anyway, the recent episode "The Persistence of Memory" was just plain excellent. AND it also featured one of the switched-at-birth characters finding her birth certificate. Of course, Daphne's real birth certificate is actually for Bay, so... it's Bay's birth time and information. The show has stated the two girls have the same birthday, so I'm interested in looking at their birthday. Alas, Daphne's actual birth time hasn't been mentioned yet, so I'll have to guess.

For those who haven't seen the show: Bay Kennish is a brunette teenage artist type. She's tempestuous, dabbles in getting into trouble, and seems to move quickly when it comes to men. She's the one that got raised in a wealthy family but originally came from a poorer one. She's the one whose birth time we'll be looking at. Her birthday twin, Daphne, is the strawberry blonde athletic type. She's generally sweet and more of a people pleaser than Bay, a wee bit of a showoff herself at times, and has been deaf since the age of 3. She was the one born to the rich people, but got raised by a poorer mom.

I totally guessed that Bay must be a Leo rising, and by god, she is! The drama is very obvious with her. (Plus she loves Frida Kahlo. Both she and her biological mom Regina are really into bright colors.) I'd guess Daphne is probably born around 6 a.m., making her a TRIPLE Libra. Both of them are at least double Libras (sun and moon), but Daphne is clearly the one more interested in making sure everyone gets along.

Both of them have a lot of planets in Libra, with a Libra Moon/Chiron conjunction. That says "mommy issues and pain" like nothing else, which totally fits with the swappage. They both have Sun conjunct their Libra North Nodes, which I think bodes well for them learning Libra issues of partnership and cooperation. Certainly both of them pick up love interests left and right and are very attractive girls! Passionate too with Venus in Scorpio. They also have a Mars/Pluto conjunction, which I find kind of nervewracking. That does tend to bring on... well, physical accidents, maybe being a bit of an anger/violence magnet. That hasn't played out yet on the show, but it's a TV show and you never know when a show might resort to something crazy. I think it bodes a bit better for Daphne (rather than the uninterested Bay) that she is into sports, so she's got an outlet for physicality. (Bay, on the other hand, does graffiti and fake ID's.) They both have Mars in Sagittarius, which in my experience tends to mean that they're both going to be SUPER interested in travel. They both have Jupiter in Sagittarius, which should be pretty lucky. They also have a Neptune/Uranus conjunction. Saturn is in Pisces.

Looking at the placement of the houses in Bay's chart for certain, most of them are below the horizon. Nothing in the first or second houses, but the Libra stellium is in her third house of communication and siblings. I find this funny considering that she biologically has no siblings, but by adoption she has a brother and Daphne is probably more or less an honorary sibling. The Moon/Pluto conjunction lands in her fourth house-- trouble in the family, indeed. Jupiter is in her fifth house, so she has luck with creativity. The Neptune-Uranus conjunction is in her sixth house, so I'd imagine that could be ... interesting... in her work life. The planet of dreaminess and imagination combined with unusual events should mean she has an interesting art career, even if I doubt she'd get massively famous for it what with most of her planets not as on display as her Leo rising. Saturn is in her eighth house of other people's money. Maybe that's an indicator that the money she grew up with wasn't hers, after all.


I'm going to do an imaginary house placement for Daphne with a Libra rising to see how that plays out. It'd give her the stellium of planets in her twelfth and first house, so she is more publicly prominent than Bay despite Bay's Leo rising. (Indeed, her deafness may make her more noticeable in public.) Venus and the Mars/Pluto conjunction fall into her second house. Maybe the Venus in second means that she'll get money via love-- or that she was the one destined to be a rich girl. Except for the Mars/Pluto kaboom. Jupiter falls into her third house = luck with communication and siblings. Hm. Communication is an issue with her, being deaf and all, but for the most part she seems very skilled at all of the methods she uses to do it. The Neptune-Uranus conjunction would fall in her fourth house, and Saturn would fall into her sixth. I'd imagine Daphne will have a harder time getting a job. As for dreamy + unusual, maybe that describes the home life she grew up in, or the unexpected windfall of turning out to be from rich people?

Anyway, this may all be a lot of bull, but it's kind of fun to think about.

So, this full moon sucks!

The weather really sucks here. I am still feeling rather crappy about recent life developments. And I suspect I'm getting friend-dumped once again, as 2010-2011 seems to be the year(s) for this. And according to Elsa, today appears to be a drama-bomb sort of day. Sure 'nuff, I whined to my shrink for an hour and whined to one of my remaining friends when she called and whined over e-mail to another one.

I remember last week. I was in a good mood last week, even when I was figuring out that I probably hadn't gotten the job. Boy, is that gone, baby, gone. I hate the world, I hate everybody, it's that kind of week so far.

Everyone keeps telling me to call the friend-in-question, but I am afraid that if I call her I'll drama-bomb all over her. Odds are very highly likely that I will right now, who are we kidding? But since e-mails and texts are so easily ignored (she ignored one that under normal circumstances, she would not have... BAD SIGN, that coupled with a general disappearing act from something we mutually do makes me think it's happening again), I should make a call. Probably tomorrow before she flakes for the 4th consecutive week and people keep asking me what happened to her when I have no idea. Of course, if she doesn't pick up and never calls back, I guess that's my answer too.

Then there's this post, which points out that the full moon is smacking opposite my Venus. No love here. And it's gonna be a whammy for me specifically to boot:

This set of aspects will show via "cosmic visitations," as well as what steadily grows as a result of the "electrical storm" that transforms us in the house where we have early Taurus. For many, a personality, relational, or crisis of understanding and/or view, and probably shifts in who we relate to and why. Some will find "fated connections," and others will see irrational ideas fall apart. Remember that often the old must end to create the space for the new to appear.

The spans most affected by this aspect are 1-4 Taurus, 23-26 Gemini, 14-17 Leo, 5-8 Libra, 27-30 Scorpio, 18-21 Capricorn, and 9-12 Pisces. This means birthdays in late April, mid-June, early August, late September, mid-November, mid-January, and early March will see major mental and interpersonal shifts in the two weeks to come.

That's pretty much me and the friend right there. I'd like to think reading this that it might be good shifts, but given the current circumstances, I'm thinking...no.

That said, taken together they indicate a clarifying stability of understanding, a penetrating insight into how the Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio parts of our lives are linked or need stabilizing, and clearly indicate some things of our past need to be discarded to open the doors of self-renewal. For some, liberating ordeals; for others, guardian angels and inner powers come forth. For all, imagination rules everything and shows us how to begin a self induced movement that could lead us to some form of initiation.

So yeah, I think I'm getting disposed of. Again. As my friend on the phone put it, maybe I should choose my friends better. But frankly, they're all good people until they get sick of me or Move On. God, I hate those words.

Three more long-ass fucking days to go this week and I wish I could fake out sick for all of them. I'm not going to, I'm not really that type of girl, but still.

 

 

 

So much for that.

Supposedly today is not a good day astrologically.

I did not get the job.

I am not massively broken up about it-- let's just say that while they liked me,  I ended up finding out at the beginning of this week that I probably didn't have enough experience to qualify at it. I still get to keep my pay rate and career status, I'll still probably do double duty at work, so that's fine. And since the boss I wasn't thrilled with is quitting today (hey, that's a plus), that makes things at my current job better. Temporary boss is already giving me more to do than that guy ever did.

Though I can't help but think, "well, that was a waste of an Aries stellium in sixth, eh?" And now I get to worry if the universe will go kick my ass for not moving on anyway.

The astrology of liking bad boys

"Astrologically, of course, you look to your Mars to explain any ongoing attraction to these creatures. It’ll be a revved up Mars with aspects to Pluto, Jupiter, Uranus."

Hm...

Mother issues

On a related note, I liked this post by April Elliot Kent:

"For example, astrologers looking at my chart for the first time invariably note the Gemini Moon square Pluto in Virgo and assume that my mother was harsh, critical, and mean – a Momzilla. When I assure them that the exact opposite was true, and that I loved her dearly, they assume that I’m in denial. But anyone who knew her will attest that my mother was loving, inclusive, forgiving, brave, and indomitable. And while it’s true that there has always been one harsh, critical, and mean female presence in my life, that presence has, in fact, been me. I can’t lay the harshness of that planetary aspect at the feet of my mother; on the contrary, she showed and tried to teach me patience, forgiveness, and transcendence of my own nature."

Hah. That's how I feel about the Moon/Saturn in my chart. My mom was not a cold, unfeeling person. But compared to her, I sure am. I think that's an option that most people don't think about with regards to these things: it's not always the mom being the problem, it can be you compared to your mom.

 

April 2011 birthdays

So somebody I know had a full moon baby yesterday. I've been saying all along, "man, this kid is going to have an interesting life." (And probably not in the good way, more like the child is going to be a massive hardass. I can only hope he finds a way to use it for good rather than evil.) Naturally when I found out the birth time I had to do a chart.

• Capricorn rising, Pluto rising. Hoo boy, kid's gonna be INTENSE.
• Aries stellium in 3rd house... and there's a whopping T-square between Pluto at the apex, the stellium at the bottom and the moon/Saturn at the top in the 9th. His mom is very nice, so I'm sorry to see that moon/Saturn conjunction there.
• And Mars/Mercury/Jupiter are all conjunct/opposite that moon/Saturn conjunction. So the kid's going to have Mars/Saturn AND Moon/Saturn. Darn it. With a whopping Aries stellium. In the third house, and the kid has a ton of siblings. HOO BOY.

...Yeah. I kind of feel sorry for the parents here. I suspect this kid is going to be a walking drama bomb, in charge of everyone, at BEST. Nervewracking.

Quincunxes!

I have a few of the little buggers. I've got an exact Mercury/Uranus one and a less exact Sun/Moon (depends on how big you orb, most people don't seem to orb it big, but I think 5 degrees applies there).

Donna Cunningham's doing a bit of a series on them, starting here. I do agree that a Mercury/Uranus one is pretty redundant because it does equal VERY WEIRD THINKING.

The second article has something I haven't heard before: transiting quincunxes. RUH-ROH!

If you don’t have any quincunxes in your birth chart, one way to get familiar with that  energy is by tracking transiting quincunxes to natal planets–it’s really strong and palpable.  (The orb for feeling–natally or by transit–it is about 3°.)

Since I don’t have any natal quincunxes, transits have been my only experience of the tensions involved. At one point, when I’d struggled a long time with balancing my two careers of social work jobs and an astrology practice, I had transiting Uranus quincunx my Midheaven on one side and transiting Neptune quincunx it on the other.

(Uranus would represent astrology, and Neptune would represent social work, especially my brand of it, which was mainly in hospitals and chronic care facilities.)

When Uranus got to the exact quincunx of my Midheaven, I woke up one morning and said, “that’s IT!” I went to work, turned in my resignation, and never worked full time again in my life. So, yes, a transiting quincunx can be life-changing. 

That last bit just made me very scared...

She has a list of the upcoming transiting quincunxes:

• Saturn at 14-25° Libra is quincunx 14-25° Pisces and Taurus
• Chiron at 0-5° Pisces is quincunx 0-5° Leo and Libra
• Uranus at 1-4° Aries is quincunx 1-4° Virgo and Scorpio
• Neptune at 28° Aquarius to 0° Pisces is quincunx 28° Cancer and Virgo to 0° Leo and Libra
• Pluto is at 4-7° Capricorn is quincunx 4-7° Gemini and Leo

So... yeah, Chiron will quincunx my North Node and my Mars, Pluto will quincunx my Mars, and Uranus will quincunx my ascendant.

OH DEAR SHITTING GOD. This can't be good.

Years ago during a wacky divination session I got the message that "things will start moving in 2011." I hadn't even checked the astrology of that, but oh god, ain't that the truth.

Currently in the house of work:

(a) Last month I went from having very little to do to part-time filling in for an empty position and suddenly having a lot more to do (and loving it).

(b) I found out this week that the part-time fill-in is going to end because they actually plan on replacing the position in full (budget cuts or not) after all.

(c) I am planning on applying for said position, we shall see if I get it or not.

If I get it I'll change title status, lose my indefinite career status (though I would get a multi-year contract and I am assured it is likely it would go career, and if I am pondering moving before that time is up I guess it wouldn't matter anyway) and alas, take a pay cut. I am not overly thrilled about those aspects of it, especially the last one since raises no longer exist, but oddly enough, that job might be a lot more secure than my current career status one that has very little left for me to do any more. I guess we'll see if they consider me knowledgeable enough to let me do it full time... I'm aware I'm only doing half of the job at the moment and it's not even the most complicated stuff, so we'll see what they think. But if I'm half in the door already...perhaps.

If I MUST have career changes (apparently that's a "god, yes, you must"), I'd rather it be along the lines of changing jobs than getting canned, that's for sure. Of course, you never know here, do you? But I am NOT quitting without a backup plan, universe! Or using up too much vacation either.

So, I think my mom just found a new boyfriend.

...Yeah.

That's ... weird.

On the one hand, I'm happy for her. God knows she could use a real boyfriend that she actually like, has feelings for (clearly this was never the case with my dad. Poor dad.). And is an actual boyfriend rather than the psuedo-one she's kind of had for the last few years. As long as he's not a jerk, I am totally cool with having a new stepfather. Though having stepsibs would be... interesting when I never had any of the original sort. Hope they're not jerks! 

On the other hand...dude lives in Arizona and we're in NorCal. And he definitely would not be the one who moves in this scenario.

So, yeah. On the one hand I think, "if I move down south, she'll only be 6 hours by car or 45 minutes by plane, that's a lot easier visiting than trying to go back up." On the other hand, I think, if I don't end up moving, my mommy will be very far away and what am I going to do....OH SHIT....

So, yeah.

There's also the ol' feeling of "Yeah, my mom'll get married for the second time long before I even have a shot at marrying for the first," but that's no surprise. My cousins in elementary school will probably get married before I do :P

Anyway, of course I want to check the astrology. And at first I'm thinking, "huh, dude has no Pisces or Virgo", which my dad and the guy Mom's been palling around with for years have and she seems to really like since that's her asc/desc axis, "how's that going to..."

Then I went to the karmic astrology. Mom and I have reversed nodes, and this guy has Mars/Neptune on her south node (my north node). She has Venus on her north, so that's some Venus/Mars there. Their composite chart looks like a giant ugh (tons of squares), but if there's karmic bindings... and she's got Saturn loosely square his nodes.

Hoo boy.

Well, I guess we'll all get along...

She asked me if there was anything going on transitwise for her right now, and tons of planets are going through her seventh house. So there you go.

The Grand Irrationality

"Since it's been a while since I posted anything on what it is, I figured it was time to re-introduce some of the key elements of this very weird time happening for everyone on Earth. Many tell me they feel driven by events beyond their control, and they and many others report that events seem to be careening forward with no rhyme or reason to what's happening and why.

From what hundreds have told me, I believe we all know something is happening even if we cannot exactly describe what it is. Many feel it acutely, and it's easily observed in the various types of obsessive-compulsive behaviors in others we encounter.

Some seem to be handling it okay, and are able to function with apparent ease despite the hard edged irrational behaviors so prevalent in our world. Others are having a harder time with the generic weirdness. Those who are having the hardest time are those who are trying to figure out the reason the weirdness is a constant, even though reason alone is not enough to figure out what's happening, why, and what to do about it.

Given the rapid and very strange hard-edged developments of the past 16 years, it seems as though a force of Destiny has put humanity at a major fork in the road related to live on Earth. Much we used to believe in or count on in our reality has gone "off the rails," and we are all living a much different way of seeing things than in previous eras of modern civilization.

Each week, each month, each year it seems that we are all confronting important decisions and choices. It also seems that relationships on every level are in dynamic shift, and many are searching for a new life, job, or profession (part 2 here.)

Yet for all these forks in the road we seem to confront on a continuing basis, very little of it makes much sense. That it seems to be happening all over the world makes this a global phenomenon, and since it's affecting all of humanity, a.k.a. "the planetary mind," it must play a part in the Earth's evolution at this time in history."