Hah, yeah, that feels right.
First I saw this post:
"I had a new Venus square Saturn thought the other day as I was reading a list of what Saturn rules and Saturn rules beggars among many other things and I thought: AHA! Venus Saturn must beg for love. Like the dog she (or he) is
Begging leads one to embarrassment which leads one to shame which leads one to… well, it just goes on and on. Rejection, self-loathing."
I would not argue with this. Asking = embarrassment = rejection = shame that you even asked in the first place. This is why I don't flirt or show any interest in a guy whatsoever on the extremely rare occasions that I have any. I will ignore him entirely if he doesn't show interest on his own these days. I have been completely repulsed by certain people having interest in me in that way at times, I am aware that I am not most people's cup of tea, and I don't want to make anyone else have that feeling of UGH OH GOD NOT YOU WHY IS THE BIGGEST CREEP IN THE ROOM THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKEY-LIKES ME, about me. God, no.
Don't get me wrong, way back in the dark ages when I used to date, even the blind chicken picked up a grain of corn now and then. But they're gonna have to go first about it. Which most dudes will do regardless of your interest anyway, right?
I was listening to Janelle Monae's "Many Moons" the other day and the above lyrics popped into my head while reading this post. I then went and looked up her birthday (wow, that girl is really super-Sag-stellium), and she has a Venus/Saturn conjunction. I got all smug at myself for pinning that down...then I looked at the actual lyrics and they are "Are you bold enough to reach for love."
I'm not particularly Neptunian. Aquarius is in my fourth house and only has an asteroid in there, so I haven't had any planets getting kicked by it directly for a long while. Venus was getting squared by it, but since I have no love life...well, hm.
But oh goody, now it's going to be squaring my moon till 2014. Awesome. Oh wait, not.
Neptune will also square planets between 0-4 degrees Sagittarius. This transit will challenge what you believe by expanding your urge for exploration in relationships. This could mean a time of wandering without a map in new relationship territory. It could also be your Dark Night of the Soul. Watch that the search for meaning doesn’t get you tangled up with a partner who takes advantage of you.
If your Sun is in Sagittarius, your ego is healthy and your will is focused on the future. You see no reason why a relationship can’t work out. If you’re single, it’s okay because you’ll meet someone when it’s meant to happen. Neptune’s square can undermine this fiery energy. You may find yourself questioning what you bring to a relationship and how special you really are. When faith in yourself vanishes, where do you look?
For many Sagittarians, this could be the first time without your optimism to keep you warm. The ensuing search might make you do some interesting things. Potential romantic partners who come into your life during this time should be viewed as experiments, not saviors. Your faith hasn’t gone anywhere, you’ll just be questioning it. This is what will make it stronger and turn you into a more empathetic partner.
For any sign, the rule of thumb during a hard Neptune transit is to hold off on new romantic commitments until the influence is over (although of course there are exceptions to every rule). Neptune’s influence on planets between 0-4 degrees will continue (roughly) until early 2014. Many people wake up after these transits and wonder what they ever saw in their Dream Lover. Some are fortunate enough to experience a capital “R” romance that is positive and healing. Everyone who goes through this transit will be gifted with the opportunity to transcend their relationship limits.
You know what annoys me? It's like there is constantly some "omg awful, please wait until that transit is over to find love" thing going on with me, one right after the other right after the other. This will probably surprise no one, but it gets fucking old. I especially loved (not) a Vedic astrology reading I got once saying "don't even bother until your late 40's."
It's a good thing 50% of me wants to stay single, because apparently I'd just lose if I tried otherwise.
"* Look to the house with Taurus on the Cusp and note how you HAVE done pretty damn well there. Congratulate yourself and know that area of life is going to get even better by May 2012.
* Check the bit of your chart with late Libra, where Saturn lurks and do something rigid, linear and planned there. Instant angst relief.
* Where you have early Aries, cut yourself a LOT of slack. Don’t try to be ‘straight’ in this regard. Individuate. Grok that the irritation/slo-mo sensation now is actually your helpful omen as to where/how you want to be. It speeds up real soon."
As for me:
(a) decided to move in a year, even if I have no clue how
(b) spent way too much money buying craft supplies on vacation
(c) made a lot of bling with said craft supplies.
Okay. So I am not a person who really buys into Mercury retrograde. Now, I got born with it so perhaps it doesn't apply to me in general-- at least, I don't have broken shit more than usual or travel problems or whatever when others do. Before this I had one major MR-type incident happen during an MR and otherwise it has been uneventful.
I have, however, been expecting August to be a month where shit is likely to start flying. Not even due to astrology, mostly because my mother and my shrink are going to be on vacation in the first two weeks of August and when everyone goes AWOL, shit is likely to go off. If I had a boyfriend right now I'd be expecting an impending dumping under these circumstances or something (it's happened before), but at least I don't have to worry about THAT.
But JEEBUS H MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST DID I GET DRAMA BOMBED within the last 24 hours.
(a) After having The Talk, my mom's boyfriend is really super not willing to commit and she still doesn't want to break up. I have been attempting to talk sense into her. Like "you're in your 60's, if you want another husband, do not be monogamously committed to an out-of-towner for 4 years waiting for him to change his mind" kind of sense. I don't really expect it to last because this is the first time she's been in love in 40+ years and thus she is crazy.
(b) You know how they say all the ex-people come back during MR?... Yeah. I DID NOT NEED THAT.
Especially mindfuckery to me is that a bunch of ex-friends have re-occurred again last night and I just don't know what to make of it. Are they possibly back for good now or what? Am I welcome amongst them on a regular basis again or was it just a one-off thing? Or a casual thing? What is going on?
I just don't get why someone would utterly dump another human being and then sortakindavaguely change their mind and contact them again. Especially when they seem to be doing it in a "just to say hi" sort of way and disappear again. I do not like it. Either come back for good or let it go, man, but don't poke me with a stick and then run away. I'd rather people just outright hated me than be all, "yeah, I still like you, I've just moved on and don't care if you are in my life again. But hi!"
I found this kind of funny today because I am avoiding some people and yet I had to rewrite an e-mail 3 times because Yahoo kept deleting it.