"I have also had doors flung open for me and guess what? I don’t like the new experience! How about that? Yes, my world is bigger. Yes I am learning new things but hey! I don’t like this school. I don’t like this education!
If I sound like a baby who does not want to advance, let me be clear – this could happen to you.
For example, how about you go to the doctor and get yourself a nice cancer diagnosis? What are you going to say? Yippie! Now I get to go into this world of chemotherapy! Now I get to learn all about the waiting rooms of doctors and how to make appointments for blood tests?
It’s expansion all right, but not a class you’d be likely to sign up for, if given a choice.
Guess what? I learned a lot when I was forced to go to court all the time for three years. I was expanded all right. But I was horrified, simultaneously and I just want to bitch about this today.
If you like your Jupiter transit, gratitude is in order. Personally, I would like to close some of the doors that have been opened for me. I struggle to acclimate to this new land.
This doesn’t mean that I won’t or that I can’t adapt. This doesn’t mean that I can’t see the big picture. It does mean that not all expansive experiences are pleasant!"
This sums up my buying a car in a nutshell. I've had it for about two weeks, one of which I didn't even DRIVE the car during. Within a few days of getting it, it got a nail in the tire. I figured out the tire was deflating about three days after I got it, but I had to wait another three days (during which I needed to do some driving, including to the nearest citiy) before I could get time off from work to get it looked at during work hours. So there was drama and nervousness and of course the nail didn't show up until I went to the SpeeDee. That, at least, was an easy fix.
But seriously, you'd think that right after buying it and right after it's had a ton of money spent on it to get it smogged and otherwise checked out, I'd get a bit of leeway before the car repairs started, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I drove it around for a few more days because I had booked myself to go to a few things with the car, but after that, I decided I should lay off on driving whenever possible because I was starting to feel like a jinx of some kind, and I didn't touch it for a week. I didn't drive to the Bay Area during the three-day weekend--managed to weasel out of that one. Which turned out to be a good idea because when I was going to drive the car last night, THE OIL LIGHT TURNED ON. No, I didn't spot a leak, it wasn't due to be changed until next month....hahahahahahahahah I'm fucked, right?
So I have gotten no sleep because I had to call the tow truck at the ass crack of dawn this morning to get it to the mechanic at 7 a.m., and god only knows if I'll have it back before the meeting I have to drive to after work....at which I am the only presenter, so I'd better fucking show up, eh? I have rented a Zipcar to go to the meeting, just in case, because I figure my odds of knowing what's up with the car or whether or not I can drive it before 5 p.m. are slim to none and it's kinda late to totally cancel on everyone anyway. Though with my luck, someone will have stolen the key out of the Zipcar or something to make sure I really can't go.
Why must I be a jinx? Seriously, why must every single car or driving related thing be so fucking hard from minute one? I can't even get a week's worth of enjoyment without freaking out about paying for repairs? My shrink was trying to talk me out of the phobia, and she even said, "Hey, as long as the oil light doesn't go on..."