Saturn Return Can Bite Me

Saturn in the first house

This is a beautiful writeup on it. I just wish I was living up to it instead of once again, choosing the life I already have because I can't fucking seem to make the changes alone.

From Michael Lutin's Daily Fix:

Not a permalink:

"This is a primaryin your life, when things could go either way. The slope of your personal graph is changing, and there is no way to judge with any degree of certaintywhich direction the situation will take. Do not second guess or make predictions either dire or magical.The station of Saturn Retrograde in Scopio is akin toholding your breath under water till you're blue in the face. Unless you're a fish, this takes calm and patience."

Valentine's Day is naff

"St Valentine was actually a martyr. He was torn apart by wild mules or something. I mean, seriously. The day itself is very rarely an actual romantic day cosmically."

Saturn retrograde in Scorpio

Back to the start again...

"How has Saturn in Scorpio been treating you? The area in your chart that it’s transiting through is where you’re being urged to get serious. And this process has probably involved confronting some fears. Or digging beneath the surface.

Saturn-ruled issues may be approaching a tipping point now; one stage of a project might be on the verge of completion, you may be considering ending something/leaving someone/making it official, etc. This retrograde could hit before you get to the finish line. As frustrating as it may feel, Saturn retrograde is meant to push you a bit deeper (Scorpio) before you come to that conclusion. What’s finalized under this transit will be permanent; you have to be sure.

For others who have been avoiding Saturn’s lessons, you’ll be in for some revelations. Scorpio is the sign of hidden things, and Saturn’s reversed motion will be like a plow dragged back through the same furrow. If you missed what was churned up the first time, it will now be unmistakable.

Saturn will be retrograde until July 8th, so use this time to reflect, process and confront anything that you missed. Retrogrades involve internal exploration, and Scorpio is the most internalized sign, so this period could involve more soul-searching than usual. Don’t look for external results during this time, but don’t be fooled into thinking nothing is happening. Much will be brewing beneath the surface, and it will all come out when Saturn goes direct."

Aaaaaaaaack.

Saturn on the ascendant

Another discussion of it.

"Those of you with late Libra or Scorpio rising, take note and begin to form a workable plan to reorganize what you must, say goodbye to what you must, and get ready to say hello to the next long term chapter of your life adventure."

Hah. In all honesty, I am doing TERRIBLY at this. I have tried to form a workable plan and I am failing. I need some kind of help with this from other human beings that I can't quite get*, and I am thoroughly stumped all by myself. I'm about to renew my lease for the umpteenth time (and they are bugging me to commit RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW even though technically I have till the end of the month.) just because I can't handle moving, or buying a car, or doing anything to change myself. I feel like an idiot and beat myself up constantly that I don't have my shit together to GO...but I really only get one chance out the door per year with the way leases work here. It's now or next year...or next year...or next year... or really, never, because who am I kidding?

I can't come up with a goal for shit and it's been six years. I just...have nothing but an inner whine, and that is NOT HELPING.

I have been in the library for YEARS now. I want out. I am tired of waiting until I am ready and prepped and going slower than molasses.  It is not okay to be in the library for six fucking years and be pretty much where you started after that.

* well, a few folks have offered, but it's along the lines of "Let me know EXACTLY WHAT MAKE AND MODEL OF CAR YOU WANT" and then I'll find it for you," and I am so lost I can't even pick out a make and model of car. If I can't have the kind of car I love, I don't even give a shit as long as it runs, but telling car people that doesn't go well. I need someone else to just tell me what to do...but nobody will do that. It's all that kind of thing. I can't initiate enough on my end--or I just don't have enough of a fucking clue--to go halfway.

Because I haven't posted much lately

Astrology Class On Saturn Transits Pt. 1 - What Happens when it Conjuncts the Ascendant or a Planet?

The astrology of the Petraeus affairs

• Blame it on Uranus.
• Venus-Saturn synastry.
• Soul mates.

Saturn's opposition to Taurus

"Saturn’s transit of Scorpio will focus Taurus’ attention on any or all of the following issues:

• Holding on versus letting go
• Surviving versus thriving
• Playing it safe versus diving in

Saturn’s opposition works by presenting a set of limits. The limits force you to adjust your focus, or get real about what you’re doing. Anyone with planets in Taurus should look at the house opposite those planets, and ask themselves the following questions:

• how are the current (or approaching ) limits going to help me take the energy of my Taurus planet(s) to a deeper level?
• what am I afraid of losing?

Saturn oppositions can feel harsh at first, especially if you keep banging your head against the wall with a routine that doesn’t work. You will have to adjust your trajectory, or re-dedicate yourself to something you’ve let slide. Whatever it is will take you a bit deeper (Scorpio) than you’re used to. The good news? You’re ready for it (Saturn says so). Keep this in mind: Taurus is the sign of survival, Scorpio the sign of death, but they hold the potential for birth (Taurus) and re-birth (Scorpio). 

Those with planets between 0-9 degrees Taurus will feel the Saturn opposition this year. In 2013, those with planets between 4-20 degrees Taurus will experience the opposition."

That is how today has been going...I consciously wanted to spend a lot of time outside today while the weather was still nice and the sun was still out and warm about it, but now that I'm home, I've been winterizing the bed and moving all of the nice summer clothes into the other closet and going through my yarn stash for a "fiber rehoming" event tomorrow. I am still keeping a lot of the one-ball-of-leftover-yarn stuff because I have a project idea that can use those as stripes, but I think I"ll get rid of the various boring cream yarns someone else gave me, and the thread/lace yarns I never use because they are so tiny, and the free itchy yarn, stuff like that. It's a backpack and bag full of that already...and hah, I'll probably bring home the equivalent of that from other people's stashes.

I keep looking around the junk pit that is my place--I have piles of projects everywhere, not to mention clothes that won't fit into a drawer or closet or I just go through that stash so much there's no point in putting it away and out of sight-- and thinking that I need to start doing some purging. Or at least start doing that on a day where I'm rained indoors and don't want to be out doing other things. I have so much to have to deal with, one way or another. I feel like I need a day off just to tackle that shit on a day when I won't have anything more awesome to do--except well, I usually have something more awesome to do. Like oh, buy stuff for another project.

Midlife Transits horoscope for November

That's...interesting...

"But Saturn combined with a solar eclipse indicates that you are entering a new era of your life, and, as part of this new era, you will be asked to evaluate your habits, your policies, the ways in which you are on auto-pilot and need to update your settings.

Productive Jupiter is in your solar 8th house until late June of 2013. This is a good spot for Jupiter to be in for you financially. It’s good for investments and for all other sorts of non-salary income. From July on, Jupiter will be in Cancer, less interested in tangible yields than in touchy-feely stuff.

Saturn we’ve already mentioned, but we’ll bring him up again because his influence is likely to be important. Saturn doesn’t just judge; Saturn also rewards. More specifically, Saturn is about consequences. He shows you that if your behavior is worthy, it pays off in the long run. If it isn’t, it catches up with you in the long run.

Partly for this reason, having Saturn in your sign is a good time to do things like take up an exercise regime that demands discipline. Saturn likes that and is willing to show you the benefits of regular effort. Saturn also likes truth and dislikes weakness. If you’ve been letting yourself slide with dodgy habits or lying to yourself, Saturn will be more than willing to show you the adverse consequences of not behaving with integrity and strength. Saturn’s influence will alternate with the influence of Uranus in Aries.

Saturn is cold, deliberate, rational. Uranus in Aries is hot, impulsive, and irrational. Expect to veer between the two modes over the next 6 months, and to experience occasional indecision or indifference as you deal with their contradictory effects. As a side note, Uranus is in your job sector these days, and he likes fields like information technology. You may not like IT as much as he does, but you should at least be prepared to deal with it in your work.

Neptune and Chiron will spend the year trying to gradually heal your romantic and creative natures or perhaps your relationship with your children. Eclipses will bring personal and relationship changes until you end up with the right partner. Pluto will continue to travel through Capricorn, that part of your chart I mentioned earlier that relates to your physical and mental abilities. Overall, if there are two key concepts for the Scorpio year ahead they would be: developing strength and facing consequences."

Aspects that get you in trouble

So I was reading this discussion online of the latest Lance Armstrong drama and couldn't help but notice a few things:

• "Don't care if everyone else is doing it, if you have Saturn square Moon people will find out and you will FALL. Jupiter retrograding exactly square his Moon.  Moon square Saturn, especially a public figure like Lance, means you have to have an impeccable record or at least be impeccably good at hiding your tracks. Saturn always bring comeuppance. Less Saturn-"gifted "folk can get away with such things, I'd think."
• "When you have a Sun-Pluto conjunction like Lance does, and lots of Saturn, there is a good chance you will end up wearing the shadow for the collective whether eveyone is doing it or not. The majority  of professional athletes probably have multiple affairs, but someone like Tiger Woods is going to wear the shadow having all that Saturn and and Sun/Pluto. If you are held as an authority/role model and you wield great power. If your actions are discovered to not be in alignment with the "light" you are emitting.....you WILL be wearing that shadow period. You will be the example. Saturn people will be either role model or disgraced ex authority."

Hmmm. I have Saturn square the moon and I always take care to well, follow the rules and be a good girl, and I've always assumed I'd get caught if I wasn't perfectly angelic. Plus well, I have Saturn in the tenth, so that's a similar "better be behaved or else" aspect.

The Sun/Pluto thing is interesting as well.