As for me:
(a) decided to move in a year, even if I have no clue how
(b) spent way too much money buying craft supplies on vacation
(c) made a lot of bling with said craft supplies.
As for me:
(a) decided to move in a year, even if I have no clue how
(b) spent way too much money buying craft supplies on vacation
(c) made a lot of bling with said craft supplies.
(I'm going to get in trouble eventually for posting this one, but what the hell.)
If you want to look at the effects of Saturn in Libra, you should perhaps check out the chart of someone with a lot of it. For example, John Mayer, a dude known for his mouth in uh...more ways than one. He basically pissed off the entire Internet in various ways through 2009-10-ish or so. And then... well, I give the dude a lot of credit for (a) realizing he made an ass of himself, (b) apologizing, a lot, and then (c) shutting his stupid mouth--so to speak. Dude has pretty much disappeared for the most part since his last concert tour ended, quitting Twitter, rarely blogging on his actual writing blog, deleting posts after he makes them--though in the age of Tumblr reblogging, I kind of don't see the point of that bit when it lives on anyway. At any rate, he isn't giving anyone any fuel to put on the fire these days. He's been just quietly working on an album, and adding on to Tony Bennett's. To which I say, good for him. Lord knows I miss his online snark (frankly, he and YourAuntDiane are the only Twitter accounts I ever found consistently funny, and that's speaking as a Twitter-hater), but I think given the massive shitstorm that went on, he needed to go into seclusion to get people to calm the hell down. Probably a good idea to go sort out his shit, too.
Do you guys realize how rare it is for someone to make a major fuckup and then do their best to correct their behavior? Look at Chris Brown, for example, who really isn't doing that at all. Speaking of, I have been reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies today. Yes, that sounds like it's wandering off topic, but it reminded me of a thought I've always had about P&P (-Z): the reason that chicks are sooooooo obsessed with Mr. Darcy is that he's a guy who comes off as an ass, then APOLOGIZES for it, then makes amends.* For all of those girls who like the Reformed Rakes, or Bad Guys Gone Good For The Love Of A Girl, Mr. Darcy is the Regency version of that. And as all ladies will learn outside of books, finding a dude who will apologize and improve is really rare. Well, there you go: here's one in real life.
What does this have to do with astrology? Well, the dude has a lot of planets in Libra from about 15 degrees (Pluto/NN, Sun, Mercury) on, and if Saturn is going along conjunct all of those in turn, giving them all a kick... well, let's just say that astrologically in general, Libras are not having a fun time right now. My Libra rising friends are all having relationship drama in one way or another and that's fun times. It's probably better to be single right now than be dealing with someone else's lack of maturity.
Saturn transiting through anywhere where you're emphasized is a big kick in the pants to grow up, and I think John is doing that. Saturn transits may make you more noticed or make you want to hide, so he's gone from one extreme to the other. Ironically (and well, the reason why I'm posting this) is that he posted online today that he's got a granuloma and thus has to not do any singing engagements and postpone the album production. So at this point the silence is being chosen for him... and checking the astrology, that's just as Saturn is hitting the Pluto/NN conjunction. Hmmmm, might be a while before the album is finished there. Saturn goes out of Libra in late October 2012**, so maybe late summer/fall then? I will hope for sooner, but given where Mercury is, it might take awhile.
I don't know what his birth time is, but this makes me wonder if Libra is his third house or something. Would make sense at this point, wouldn't it?
* SPOILER: In P&P&Z, he actually uh... permanently paralyzes Wickham in a massive beating. Okay, so that's not the usual type of amends....
** Then Saturn starts kicking my ascendant... and this should start right after I plan on moving. Fun times, y'all.
Okay. So I am not a person who really buys into Mercury retrograde. Now, I got born with it so perhaps it doesn't apply to me in general-- at least, I don't have broken shit more than usual or travel problems or whatever when others do. Before this I had one major MR-type incident happen during an MR and otherwise it has been uneventful.
I have, however, been expecting August to be a month where shit is likely to start flying. Not even due to astrology, mostly because my mother and my shrink are going to be on vacation in the first two weeks of August and when everyone goes AWOL, shit is likely to go off. If I had a boyfriend right now I'd be expecting an impending dumping under these circumstances or something (it's happened before), but at least I don't have to worry about THAT.
But JEEBUS H MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST DID I GET DRAMA BOMBED within the last 24 hours.
(a) After having The Talk, my mom's boyfriend is really super not willing to commit and she still doesn't want to break up. I have been attempting to talk sense into her. Like "you're in your 60's, if you want another husband, do not be monogamously committed to an out-of-towner for 4 years waiting for him to change his mind" kind of sense. I don't really expect it to last because this is the first time she's been in love in 40+ years and thus she is crazy.
(b) You know how they say all the ex-people come back during MR?... Yeah. I DID NOT NEED THAT.
Especially mindfuckery to me is that a bunch of ex-friends have re-occurred again last night and I just don't know what to make of it. Are they possibly back for good now or what? Am I welcome amongst them on a regular basis again or was it just a one-off thing? Or a casual thing? What is going on?
I just don't get why someone would utterly dump another human being and then sortakindavaguely change their mind and contact them again. Especially when they seem to be doing it in a "just to say hi" sort of way and disappear again. I do not like it. Either come back for good or let it go, man, but don't poke me with a stick and then run away. I'd rather people just outright hated me than be all, "yeah, I still like you, I've just moved on and don't care if you are in my life again. But hi!"
I found this kind of funny today because I am avoiding some people and yet I had to rewrite an e-mail 3 times because Yahoo kept deleting it.
We wrestle with illusion that we are in control (and lose). We make plans and have them dissolve, or never come together. It is, after all, not called the house of beginnings, but the house of loss. We lose steam. We lose momentum.
We can make any Twelfth House transit many times worse than it has to be by ignoring any insistent nudge that something in our life isn’t working. We can undermine our well being through avoiding anything that is clamoring for our attention, and for the Twelfth House avoidance comes in so many forms, flavors and varieties you may not even realize you’re escaping. Twelfth House Saturn time as a time to restore, rest, repair, eliminate what’s outworn, and examine any the energy leaks in your physical and material life and your psyche. Make plans, okay, but prepare to have them change.
Eventually, one way or another, Saturn will ask us to squarely face, and then be willing to lose, what is undermining our self-authority and draining our life energy — even if what’s undermining us is right for everyone else (a great job with benefits, a typical American diet, a status quo workaholic ethic) but wrong for us.
That last bit is what is getting to me...
And then she moves on to talking about the first house transit:
Saturn will finally cross my First House threshold in September, for the third and final time. Frankly, I have never so looked forward to a Saturn transit in my life! Sullivan calls this next step The Threshold Struggle, and from accompanying several close clients through their First House transit, the struggle is a process of becoming. It’s a time of integrating what’s been recovered about their self while deep in the Twelfth, and having that and bump against the personality, expectations of partners, work and community. Sullivan warns against anticipating what will happen then, pre-empting the natural unfolding of this delicate self-remaking process. Yet nothing can stop the force of a First House Saturn though there’s pressure and challenges… and how well we navigated the Twelfth House. If we lost the job (later realizing we hated it anyhow), at the First House, our Twelfth House pain, emptiness and despair begins to make sense, but hopefully before. The sooner we get on with the Twelfth House work of losing what’s meant to be lost, the better. Loss precedes change, a change that will initiate a new 28 year cycle, which for many experiencing, is the rest of their life. For this reason and more Saturn’s Twelfth transit is momentous. The old life is trying to lose its grip. All we register, at least at first, is a fuzzy loss of control, and then a gradual breakdown from the way things were and the way things have always been…into what things will come to be.
Under Sun-Pluto transits some part of our life changes, and nothing stays the same. Sometimes it happens suddenly, and the proverbial rug is pulled out from beneath our feet and all sense of security is lost. It may be a long drawn out process and our life changes completely by the end of the transit, or it is our identity that alters significantly.With Pluto transits it ends one chapter and begins a new one. I know this is becoming an overused phrase on the blog, but it really is the best way to describe a Pluto transit in our lives.
The most significant events in life appear to happen under transits of Uranus and Pluto to our Ascendant, Sun and Moon, and this is not surprising since these are the three most important parts of the horoscope. Transiting Pluto trine Sun represents an easier transition for the individual towards self-renewal, massive changes in life, and endings. Under the Sun-Pluto trine I have observed people relocating across country, and so the transit is massively indicative of a new way (Pluto) of life (Sun). We are leaving behind an old environment and beginning life in a new one, and setting down new roots. I think that such a dramatic adjustment allows us to also reinvent ourselves, and we start life afresh in all areas of our lives.
I do believe, in some instances, that even an apparently benign Sun trine Pluto transit in the chart can turn our life around completely. Pluto transits change our LIFE dramatically and this particular planet fights against inertia, and so we undergo an intense transformation of our behavior and lifestyle. We often feel a more powerful sense of our own destiny, gain deeper self knowledge, and feel more passionate about living. Snake metaphors are particularly relevant when trying to describe Pluto transits to those new to astrology and unsure of the process. The snake metaphor leads nicely onto my next two examples of self-improvement, self-transformation and radical makeovers.
Hm. Well, I've been having one for awhile now (I think it's moved away from trining my sun at this point) and so far, I feel the urge to change, but no clue as to how to do it yet. Maybe it just didn't work in my case.
Uranus was first responsible for taking away something–and taking it away suddenly and unexpectedly. Before he communicates anything to us, anything at all, he is the Great Severer. Now, mind you, he’s fast–he works before we can see him coming, the quickest hatchet man around–but Uranus’s first order of business is to disconnect us. What is he disconnecting us from? Our ordinary, ego-bound patterns and definitions and our habitual ways of understanding our world. Uranus is impatient. He’s bringing us the future the way he sees it, how dare we get mired in the past? The Uranian disconnect can be ruthless. Sometimes it’s so fast it seems bloodless, or it can be as bloody as the French Revolution and then some. [Remember that the guillotine was invented (during the discovery of Uranus) as a humanitarian advancement.] But when Uranus is active, the first thing he does is pull the plug. He will shake us off no matter how hard we hold on.
In his severing mode, Uranus can be the most frightening of the Three Bullies, otherwise known as the transpersonal planets. I associate Uranus with a particular kind of trauma in the chart, one that lingers on with nerve-shattering results. It results in a kind of personal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder–wherever Uranus lies in the chart, it is responsible for a violent taking-away, a traumatic removal. And unless you really understand this part of Uranus, the rest of Uranian behaviour doesn’t really make any sense.
This is why I keep wigging out, that's for sure. I keep waiting for that axe to fall on me now. :(
Say Uranus falls on the Ascendant of a chart. This person would identify with being out of the norm, different, more advanced, unusual. He or she might identify with and fight for humanitarian causes. Dig under the surface, the reasons for this behaviour can be a denial of the individual “I”, which can occur because the person involved is somehow robbed (usually in early life) of the sense of individual identity and belonging. We have a choice of joining the rebellious ‘group’ and finding an identity within it or we remain forever scapegoats and outsiders, exiled from our own sense of legitimacy in the world. The erratic Uranian pattern reinforces the behaviour–if ever do try to fit in, I get cut off. Or I only fit in with the strange and the unusual, . The best route for Uranus here is the Path of Mind. We are initiated into a new awareness because we are forced to confront circumstances which remove us from the ego. All three of the outer planets teach us lessons about getting our egos out of the way. With Uranus, it’s our ‘little world, little mind’ tendencies that fly out the window. We are challenged to stretch our definitions. As anyone with a Mercury/Uranus connection will tell you, the minute you think you understand something, Uranus will step in and take you further.
I qualify for this one right here. (Mercury quincunx Uranus in 1st)
All three of the outer planets initiate us into their awakening by removing us from the primary quality of the lower octave planet. With Uranus, we are severed from our connection-making abilities. Mercury is the connecting planet which allows us to make sense of and understand our worldly experiences. Uranus removes the logical processes of Mercury and replaces it with sudden shifts of awareness. Mercury is the way we make meaning out of information. When Uranus pulls the plug on us and then rudely bombards us with universal truths beyond our ordinary understanding, we often feel on shaky ground. Sometimes, where Uranus is concerned, we might know things, but we don’t know why. Again, our lack of support for our convictions leaves us high up, but on very unstable scaffolding.
Whether or not Mercury and Uranus have a connection in the chart, it’s Mercury that struggles with the new information. If your Mercury has an aspect to Uranus, even a difficult one, then you’re in luck, because your Mercury has been put on the fast track to Uranian wisdom. The quickness of mind associated with Mercury/Uranus is not always pleasant in the easier aspects–I’ve seen troubles with both the conjunction and the sextile, because Mercury can get overloaded with the flow of Uranian energy, and can mentally cut out because of it. The mental processes of strong Mercury/Uranus can easily affect the body, often with nerve issues and mental exhaustion. If Mercury isn’t ready to process the wisdom of Uranus, there can be difficult consequences. Uranus is always urging us to let go, to allow distance, something Mercury is often not prepared to do in its struggle to understand. When Mercury learns that it is capable of making connections at great distances, greater than it ever assumed, then its impact on our lives grows and we allow ourselves to create new concepts of the greater Mercurial connections. These concepts then become the building blocks of the elevated Mind. When Mercury stretches its wings, we are no longer confined to the prison of our day to day reality. We understand that there are new lands to conquer, off where the gods reside and the mere rules of man no longer apply. And Mercury can now help us lay down the plans to get there.
Let’s say you’ve got Gemini on the MC (or Gemini anywhere) and let’s say you are a writer and you have to write, are compulsive, are obsessive, not bad at it either. But a writer needs an audience. No Emily Dickinsons here. And let’s say you try to write kids’ books and no one wants them. And say you try to write songs, and no one wants them. And this happens over and over, genre by genre. And in the meantime you get obsessed with, say, surgery! And you start writing for a television medical drama (yes, I know I made a leap here, but bear with me) and THEN money comes and you’re doing your thing and ahhhh flow. You had to give up first.
My point is this: with eclipse season coming, be like Gemini. Have two. Have more. Have a back-up. Know when to give up. Or when to click over to the other thing. The summer 2011 eclipses may close doors and open new passageways previously unimaginable. Jettisoned.
This thing isn't even hitting my chart really (it's about 3 degrees off from my vertex, but since that's a point in space I don't think it counts), but right now I feel like just giving the fuck up about EVERYTHING. Just be the walking dead already. I can't figure out how to solve my own problems for shit, nobody can help me and I have to do it alone. And I can't seem to figure it out by myself either. I am so sick of that feeling and I can't get out of it.
On a related note, Michael Lutin:
TAURUS AND TAURUS RISING
Even the brainiest economists have to be scratching their heads these days, especially if they are Tauruses. .Doesn’t it gall you to see the money running out like water through a leaky faucet ? Every time you fill up the tank, the needle still points to empty. It’s not all that comforting to be told it’s just a cycle and not to worry, but the nightmare of becoming dependent on someone else for your bread and butter could certainly wake you up sweating.
SCORPIO AND SCORPIO RISING
You’ll be so much happier if you get it into your head that neither the horse in the next race, the lottery or your Fairy Godmother is going to save you from having to become better at your business. This is the perfect moment to do so, mainly because you are ravenously hungry for gratification and satisfaction you are not able to find on other levels at the moment. Instead of prowling the streets at three A.M. looking for something that isn’t there, how about turning to your creativity?
You’re not totally in control any more (as if you ever were). It’s starting to dawning on you that there are forces way more powerful than you that you may eventually have to give in to. Not when it comes to the money thing, though. No way are you going to loosen your grip. Good luck with that.
SCORPIOWhen a Scorpio gets hooked on dark fantasies, it can be a hellish free for all. So easily could you start chasing your tail in more ways than one. Hang on to your inner life and spiritual values and beliefs, whatever they are, and go find somebody who won’t let you screw around (too much).
Unfortunately too accurate.
The weather really sucks here. I am still feeling rather crappy about recent life developments. And I suspect I'm getting friend-dumped once again, as 2010-2011 seems to be the year(s) for this. And according to Elsa, today appears to be a drama-bomb sort of day. Sure 'nuff, I whined to my shrink for an hour and whined to one of my remaining friends when she called and whined over e-mail to another one.
I remember last week. I was in a good mood last week, even when I was figuring out that I probably hadn't gotten the job. Boy, is that gone, baby, gone. I hate the world, I hate everybody, it's that kind of week so far.
Everyone keeps telling me to call the friend-in-question, but I am afraid that if I call her I'll drama-bomb all over her. Odds are very highly likely that I will right now, who are we kidding? But since e-mails and texts are so easily ignored (she ignored one that under normal circumstances, she would not have... BAD SIGN, that coupled with a general disappearing act from something we mutually do makes me think it's happening again), I should make a call. Probably tomorrow before she flakes for the 4th consecutive week and people keep asking me what happened to her when I have no idea. Of course, if she doesn't pick up and never calls back, I guess that's my answer too.
Then there's this post, which points out that the full moon is smacking opposite my Venus. No love here. And it's gonna be a whammy for me specifically to boot:
This set of aspects will show via "cosmic visitations," as well as what steadily grows as a result of the "electrical storm" that transforms us in the house where we have early Taurus. For many, a personality, relational, or crisis of understanding and/or view, and probably shifts in who we relate to and why. Some will find "fated connections," and others will see irrational ideas fall apart. Remember that often the old must end to create the space for the new to appear.
The spans most affected by this aspect are 1-4 Taurus, 23-26 Gemini, 14-17 Leo, 5-8 Libra, 27-30 Scorpio, 18-21 Capricorn, and 9-12 Pisces. This means birthdays in late April, mid-June, early August, late September, mid-November, mid-January, and early March will see major mental and interpersonal shifts in the two weeks to come.
That's pretty much me and the friend right there. I'd like to think reading this that it might be good shifts, but given the current circumstances, I'm thinking...no.
That said, taken together they indicate a clarifying stability of understanding, a penetrating insight into how the Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio parts of our lives are linked or need stabilizing, and clearly indicate some things of our past need to be discarded to open the doors of self-renewal. For some, liberating ordeals; for others, guardian angels and inner powers come forth. For all, imagination rules everything and shows us how to begin a self induced movement that could lead us to some form of initiation.
So yeah, I think I'm getting disposed of. Again. As my friend on the phone put it, maybe I should choose my friends better. But frankly, they're all good people until they get sick of me or Move On. God, I hate those words.
Three more long-ass fucking days to go this week and I wish I could fake out sick for all of them. I'm not going to, I'm not really that type of girl, but still.