We wrestle with illusion that we are in control (and lose). We make plans and have them dissolve, or never come together. It is, after all, not called the house of beginnings, but the house of loss. We lose steam. We lose momentum.
We can make any Twelfth House transit many times worse than it has to be by ignoring any insistent nudge that something in our life isn’t working. We can undermine our well being through avoiding anything that is clamoring for our attention, and for the Twelfth House avoidance comes in so many forms, flavors and varieties you may not even realize you’re escaping. Twelfth House Saturn time as a time to restore, rest, repair, eliminate what’s outworn, and examine any the energy leaks in your physical and material life and your psyche. Make plans, okay, but prepare to have them change.
Eventually, one way or another, Saturn will ask us to squarely face, and then be willing to lose, what is undermining our self-authority and draining our life energy — even if what’s undermining us is right for everyone else (a great job with benefits, a typical American diet, a status quo workaholic ethic) but wrong for us.
That last bit is what is getting to me...
And then she moves on to talking about the first house transit:
Saturn will finally cross my First House threshold in September, for the third and final time. Frankly, I have never so looked forward to a Saturn transit in my life! Sullivan calls this next step The Threshold Struggle, and from accompanying several close clients through their First House transit, the struggle is a process of becoming. It’s a time of integrating what’s been recovered about their self while deep in the Twelfth, and having that and bump against the personality, expectations of partners, work and community. Sullivan warns against anticipating what will happen then, pre-empting the natural unfolding of this delicate self-remaking process. Yet nothing can stop the force of a First House Saturn though there’s pressure and challenges… and how well we navigated the Twelfth House. If we lost the job (later realizing we hated it anyhow), at the First House, our Twelfth House pain, emptiness and despair begins to make sense, but hopefully before. The sooner we get on with the Twelfth House work of losing what’s meant to be lost, the better. Loss precedes change, a change that will initiate a new 28 year cycle, which for many experiencing, is the rest of their life. For this reason and more Saturn’s Twelfth transit is momentous. The old life is trying to lose its grip. All we register, at least at first, is a fuzzy loss of control, and then a gradual breakdown from the way things were and the way things have always been…into what things will come to be.