Saturn Return Can Bite Me

Aspects to avoid when dating men

Elsa's got a good point here.

"I have concern when I see both the Moon and Venus beat up in a man’s chart. My number one rule is to run with men who like women and when I see this stuff in a man’s chart, I am very, very careful."

Good point. Never date a heterosexual who hates women. I have a cousin like this (if I remembered his birthday I'd be checking this now) and I feel very sorry for the women he's dated/been engaged to/married.

Then again, I have those beat up in my chart and I don't hate women...I just don't fit with traditional women's behaviors.

Venus Pluto means you don't stay sane

"But i got an email recently from a woman having Pluto on her Venus and she wanted to know how to stay sane during this astro-passage. Honestly, i’m not sure you can.

Pluto-Venus is intense, once upon a lifetime, fateful, compulsive-feeling and highly sexed romantic astro-weirding.

Okay so you can stay sane – but you won’t stay the same. Not even if you want to."

More for Venus in Capricorn/Cancer/Aries/Libra folks.

"Are you old enough to beg for love?"

First I saw this post:

"I had a new Venus square Saturn thought the other day as I was reading a list of what Saturn rules and Saturn rules beggars among many other things and I thought: AHA! Venus Saturn must beg for love. Like the dog she (or he) is

Begging leads one to embarrassment which leads one to shame which leads one to… well, it just goes on and on. Rejection, self-loathing."

I would not argue with this. Asking = embarrassment = rejection = shame that you even asked in the first place. This is why I don't flirt or show any interest in a guy whatsoever on the extremely rare occasions that I have any. I will ignore him entirely if he doesn't show interest on his own these days. I have been completely repulsed by certain people having interest in me in that way at times, I am aware that I am not most people's cup of tea, and I don't want to make anyone else have that feeling of UGH OH GOD NOT YOU WHY IS THE BIGGEST CREEP IN THE ROOM THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKEY-LIKES ME, about me. God, no.

Don't get me wrong, way back in the dark ages when I used to date, even the blind chicken picked up a grain of corn now and then. But they're gonna have to go first about it. Which most dudes will do regardless of your interest anyway, right?

I was listening to Janelle Monae's "Many Moons" the other day and the above lyrics popped into my head while reading this post. I then went and looked up her birthday (wow, that girl is really super-Sag-stellium), and she has a Venus/Saturn conjunction. I got all smug at myself for pinning that down...then I looked at the actual lyrics and they are "Are you bold enough to reach for love."

Uh...

Yeah.

"Examine the condition of your natal Venus, all the aspects, and begin to work, begin to live those aspects. Understand them."

Good idea.

Why I can't change

"Why is it so difficult for some people to change? They remain stuck in the same negative relationships/habits/jobs for decades. It’s clear as day to others that they need to evolve. But they don’t.

I did a very quick survey of the natal charts I have on file. Specifically, I looked for commonalities in the charts of people I’ve known for years who have remained stuck. What I found was that all these people have planets in their 12th House."

And suddenly that explains everything...

"The 12th (naturally ruled by Pisces) is the most difficult part of the chart to access. It represents the subconscious, the hidden, the secret. Having planets in this house is similar to glimpsing something out of the corner of your eye. When you turn to look at it, it vanishes. So any behavior symbolized by these planets will be just as difficult to pin down."

And of course, this is my chart ruler in there.

"Basically, the 12th House is a blind spot. How do you deal with it? If 12th House planets are making aspects to any other part of the chart, this is the access route. For example, Sun in the 12th trine Moon in the 4th can find clarity through emotional (Moon) connections to the past (4th House). Talk to your Mom. Revisit childhood friends/events. Will it be painful? Guaranteed. Awareness of the 12th means sacrificing something, even if it’s your illusions. Also, look at the ruler of the 12th. Aries on the cusp of the 12th House would make Mars the ruler. What’s happening with this planet in the chart? Action, independence and instinct (Mars ruled areas) would be the keys to unlocking the mystery."

Hm....so, my big one for that would be Mercury in the 6th (opposite Pluto), or maybe Uranus (1st) or Neptune (2nd). Chart ruler is Venus in 7th.... So thinking about the day-to-day practical shit in life would cover the Mercury bit. And yeah, that's what I'm running into now. Realizing that I have to postpone the move because at the very least, my driving alone is probably not up to handling 4 hours a day on the freeway or whatever at this point.

As for the 7th house, yeah, partnering helps the situation, when I can find one.

I do worry about what will happen to me if I don't move on my own, though :( I've got one planet in the zap zone (Jupiter) and two planets (Mars and moon) in the "positive Uranus zap zone."

TV Astrology: Switched At Birth

So I'm a big fan of Switched At Birth, which is rather ridiculously good for a family show. People are sympathetic and mostly sensible and you feel for everybody and it's awesome. I highly recommend it (go look on Hulu, the pilot's online).

Anyway, the recent episode "The Persistence of Memory" was just plain excellent. AND it also featured one of the switched-at-birth characters finding her birth certificate. Of course, Daphne's real birth certificate is actually for Bay, so... it's Bay's birth time and information. The show has stated the two girls have the same birthday, so I'm interested in looking at their birthday. Alas, Daphne's actual birth time hasn't been mentioned yet, so I'll have to guess.

For those who haven't seen the show: Bay Kennish is a brunette teenage artist type. She's tempestuous, dabbles in getting into trouble, and seems to move quickly when it comes to men. She's the one that got raised in a wealthy family but originally came from a poorer one. She's the one whose birth time we'll be looking at. Her birthday twin, Daphne, is the strawberry blonde athletic type. She's generally sweet and more of a people pleaser than Bay, a wee bit of a showoff herself at times, and has been deaf since the age of 3. She was the one born to the rich people, but got raised by a poorer mom.

I totally guessed that Bay must be a Leo rising, and by god, she is! The drama is very obvious with her. (Plus she loves Frida Kahlo. Both she and her biological mom Regina are really into bright colors.) I'd guess Daphne is probably born around 6 a.m., making her a TRIPLE Libra. Both of them are at least double Libras (sun and moon), but Daphne is clearly the one more interested in making sure everyone gets along.

Both of them have a lot of planets in Libra, with a Libra Moon/Chiron conjunction. That says "mommy issues and pain" like nothing else, which totally fits with the swappage. They both have Sun conjunct their Libra North Nodes, which I think bodes well for them learning Libra issues of partnership and cooperation. Certainly both of them pick up love interests left and right and are very attractive girls! Passionate too with Venus in Scorpio. They also have a Mars/Pluto conjunction, which I find kind of nervewracking. That does tend to bring on... well, physical accidents, maybe being a bit of an anger/violence magnet. That hasn't played out yet on the show, but it's a TV show and you never know when a show might resort to something crazy. I think it bodes a bit better for Daphne (rather than the uninterested Bay) that she is into sports, so she's got an outlet for physicality. (Bay, on the other hand, does graffiti and fake ID's.) They both have Mars in Sagittarius, which in my experience tends to mean that they're both going to be SUPER interested in travel. They both have Jupiter in Sagittarius, which should be pretty lucky. They also have a Neptune/Uranus conjunction. Saturn is in Pisces.

Looking at the placement of the houses in Bay's chart for certain, most of them are below the horizon. Nothing in the first or second houses, but the Libra stellium is in her third house of communication and siblings. I find this funny considering that she biologically has no siblings, but by adoption she has a brother and Daphne is probably more or less an honorary sibling. The Moon/Pluto conjunction lands in her fourth house-- trouble in the family, indeed. Jupiter is in her fifth house, so she has luck with creativity. The Neptune-Uranus conjunction is in her sixth house, so I'd imagine that could be ... interesting... in her work life. The planet of dreaminess and imagination combined with unusual events should mean she has an interesting art career, even if I doubt she'd get massively famous for it what with most of her planets not as on display as her Leo rising. Saturn is in her eighth house of other people's money. Maybe that's an indicator that the money she grew up with wasn't hers, after all.


I'm going to do an imaginary house placement for Daphne with a Libra rising to see how that plays out. It'd give her the stellium of planets in her twelfth and first house, so she is more publicly prominent than Bay despite Bay's Leo rising. (Indeed, her deafness may make her more noticeable in public.) Venus and the Mars/Pluto conjunction fall into her second house. Maybe the Venus in second means that she'll get money via love-- or that she was the one destined to be a rich girl. Except for the Mars/Pluto kaboom. Jupiter falls into her third house = luck with communication and siblings. Hm. Communication is an issue with her, being deaf and all, but for the most part she seems very skilled at all of the methods she uses to do it. The Neptune-Uranus conjunction would fall in her fourth house, and Saturn would fall into her sixth. I'd imagine Daphne will have a harder time getting a job. As for dreamy + unusual, maybe that describes the home life she grew up in, or the unexpected windfall of turning out to be from rich people?

Anyway, this may all be a lot of bull, but it's kind of fun to think about.

The two faces of Venus

"These are the two faces of Venus and they do not get along. Taurus says “I should be able to look after myself.” Libra says “But I’m not complete without someone else.” Technically, Taurus and Libra form an inconjunct. This is an aspect that joins two signs with so little in common that a huge amount of adjustment is needed for them to get along. So what does that say about the planet that rules these two signs? Loving yourself and loving someone else is not a natural fit.

The search for security (2nd House) needs to start with yourself. You won’t find what you need (2nd House) by projecting desired qualities onto someone else (7th House). The adjustment involves owning (2nd House) those projected qualities (7th House). In other words, think about what you admire/crave most in other people. Now look inside and you’ll find that quality."

So, this full moon sucks!

The weather really sucks here. I am still feeling rather crappy about recent life developments. And I suspect I'm getting friend-dumped once again, as 2010-2011 seems to be the year(s) for this. And according to Elsa, today appears to be a drama-bomb sort of day. Sure 'nuff, I whined to my shrink for an hour and whined to one of my remaining friends when she called and whined over e-mail to another one.

I remember last week. I was in a good mood last week, even when I was figuring out that I probably hadn't gotten the job. Boy, is that gone, baby, gone. I hate the world, I hate everybody, it's that kind of week so far.

Everyone keeps telling me to call the friend-in-question, but I am afraid that if I call her I'll drama-bomb all over her. Odds are very highly likely that I will right now, who are we kidding? But since e-mails and texts are so easily ignored (she ignored one that under normal circumstances, she would not have... BAD SIGN, that coupled with a general disappearing act from something we mutually do makes me think it's happening again), I should make a call. Probably tomorrow before she flakes for the 4th consecutive week and people keep asking me what happened to her when I have no idea. Of course, if she doesn't pick up and never calls back, I guess that's my answer too.

Then there's this post, which points out that the full moon is smacking opposite my Venus. No love here. And it's gonna be a whammy for me specifically to boot:

This set of aspects will show via "cosmic visitations," as well as what steadily grows as a result of the "electrical storm" that transforms us in the house where we have early Taurus. For many, a personality, relational, or crisis of understanding and/or view, and probably shifts in who we relate to and why. Some will find "fated connections," and others will see irrational ideas fall apart. Remember that often the old must end to create the space for the new to appear.

The spans most affected by this aspect are 1-4 Taurus, 23-26 Gemini, 14-17 Leo, 5-8 Libra, 27-30 Scorpio, 18-21 Capricorn, and 9-12 Pisces. This means birthdays in late April, mid-June, early August, late September, mid-November, mid-January, and early March will see major mental and interpersonal shifts in the two weeks to come.

That's pretty much me and the friend right there. I'd like to think reading this that it might be good shifts, but given the current circumstances, I'm thinking...no.

That said, taken together they indicate a clarifying stability of understanding, a penetrating insight into how the Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio parts of our lives are linked or need stabilizing, and clearly indicate some things of our past need to be discarded to open the doors of self-renewal. For some, liberating ordeals; for others, guardian angels and inner powers come forth. For all, imagination rules everything and shows us how to begin a self induced movement that could lead us to some form of initiation.

So yeah, I think I'm getting disposed of. Again. As my friend on the phone put it, maybe I should choose my friends better. But frankly, they're all good people until they get sick of me or Move On. God, I hate those words.

Three more long-ass fucking days to go this week and I wish I could fake out sick for all of them. I'm not going to, I'm not really that type of girl, but still.

 

 

 

Manifestation and the natal chart

So I'm going through the archives of the Practical Astrology podcast and was just listening to this one. While the actual audio of the main segment of this episode is uh, pretty bad (I had my volume cranked as loud as it could get and could still barely hear most of it), the end part is much clearer and talks about how to see what your chart says about the topic.

Tips for checking on how manifestation is for you in your chart. Look at:
1. 9th house = beliefs, principles, laws, what your chart wants to believe in.
2. Jupiter = what can be done effortlessly, given as a gift. Don't have to work for it.
3. Sagittarius = lead yourself or be led into things that can manifest in abundance.
4. Venus = attraction
5. 2nd house = income
6. Taurus = money
7. Squares/oppositions to those in chart = where chart has a conflict about manifesting effortlessly or about money or what you should believe in.
8. Neptune = chart is confused about something and doesn't know what to believe in

As for mine, I'd be great on the manifesting except for, of course, the nasty squares to everything and Neptune being in the 2nd. No wonder I have issues with believing.

So, I think my mom just found a new boyfriend.

...Yeah.

That's ... weird.

On the one hand, I'm happy for her. God knows she could use a real boyfriend that she actually like, has feelings for (clearly this was never the case with my dad. Poor dad.). And is an actual boyfriend rather than the psuedo-one she's kind of had for the last few years. As long as he's not a jerk, I am totally cool with having a new stepfather. Though having stepsibs would be... interesting when I never had any of the original sort. Hope they're not jerks! 

On the other hand...dude lives in Arizona and we're in NorCal. And he definitely would not be the one who moves in this scenario.

So, yeah. On the one hand I think, "if I move down south, she'll only be 6 hours by car or 45 minutes by plane, that's a lot easier visiting than trying to go back up." On the other hand, I think, if I don't end up moving, my mommy will be very far away and what am I going to do....OH SHIT....

So, yeah.

There's also the ol' feeling of "Yeah, my mom'll get married for the second time long before I even have a shot at marrying for the first," but that's no surprise. My cousins in elementary school will probably get married before I do :P

Anyway, of course I want to check the astrology. And at first I'm thinking, "huh, dude has no Pisces or Virgo", which my dad and the guy Mom's been palling around with for years have and she seems to really like since that's her asc/desc axis, "how's that going to..."

Then I went to the karmic astrology. Mom and I have reversed nodes, and this guy has Mars/Neptune on her south node (my north node). She has Venus on her north, so that's some Venus/Mars there. Their composite chart looks like a giant ugh (tons of squares), but if there's karmic bindings... and she's got Saturn loosely square his nodes.

Hoo boy.

Well, I guess we'll all get along...

She asked me if there was anything going on transitwise for her right now, and tons of planets are going through her seventh house. So there you go.