Speed-Reading Book Nerd Reviews

Curse of the Spellmans

By Lisa Lutz.

What's the "Curse of the Spellmans," you ask? TERMINAL ADDICTIVE SNOOPINESS. I thought I'd just answer that question for ya right off the bat.

Like The Queen Gene, this doesn't have massive amounts of plot, per se. It kind of follows Isabel around through her life (though again, her life is more wacky than yours is), and while it doesn't have massive amounts of badass action and whatnot, it's still intriguing to read.

The mysteries in this one boil down to, "why the heck is _____ acting the way s/he is?" Isabel is totally unable to stop herself from investigating the following:

• Why is Dad on some kind of health kick?
• Since when did Rae get friends?
• Why is David moping around the house and why has Petra totally disappeared to Arizona?
• WHAT THE HELL IS THE NEIGHBOR UP TO?!?!?

None of this goes very well, especially when most of the people she's investigating are relatives and the main non-relative she's investigating is very much On To Her.

Isabel's main trouble in this one is when a gardener named John Brown (that's way too generic of a name- SUSPICIOUS!) moves in next door to the Spellman house. Isabel's once again spending more time at home ever since her AWOL roommate left his wife and moved back in, so she starts dating the guy and getting VERY SUSPICIOUS at the one locked room in his place. Or what he's digging up in the yard. Or how he shreds everything in his trash. Or how women he talks to disappear. Or how he doesn't seem to have a verifiable birthday or birthplace or anything in the way of ID that she can get ahold of. John Brown is on to her pretty damn fast, and starts fighting back, to the point of getting a restraining order out on Isabel. Four arrests later, it's clear that Isabel just. can't. stop. until she knows what the hell this man is up to! And it doesn't matter what the cost is to her...

On a more touching note, there's the bosom (albeit kinda one-sided?) friendship between Rae and Inspector Henry Stone from the last book, who she's pretty much adopted as her best friend. Never mind that she's 15 and he's 44 and her mom (Olivia) has to continually explain to CPS why she allows them to hang out- Henry is clearly a good influence on Rae, or at least gets her to do her homework. Henry is at least somewhat driven crazy (and driven OVER, literally) by Rae and the other Spellmans, and he frequently calls on Isabel to rescue him from Rae. Spending so much time around the guy, Isabel, well... there's a quiet little surprise later on that I am looking forward to seeing play out in a later book.

I liked how in the end, Isabel (who's more Peter Pan-ish than even I am at the same age) seems to grow up a little, or at least to make a few changes in her life to try things out differently. I will be intrigued to see how this plays out in the future. There will be a third book, right?!

Four and a half stars from me.

The Queen Gene

By Jennifer Coburn.

(Note: this is a sequel to Tales From The Crib, which I did not pick up. Oops.)

I find myself in the interesting situation of late of having read two books (Curse of the Spellmans being the other one) that are...I'll call it, "low on plot." I am big on plot, and I can't say that either of these two books has a whole lot of them. They are more along the lines of going along with a character, watching as wacky things happen to them. And yet, they are still entertaining.

This certainly applies to The Queen Gene, which features a woman named Lucy who's started an artist's colony in the Berkshires with her artist husband Jack. Lucy also has a very wacky mother named Anjoli (yes, I kept having that "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan" song going through my head every time I saw that) who is always having some kind of drama going on, whether it's sorority girls moving in on her block or her niece going off to college to look for a young stud to knock her up. But Anjoli's main drama is getting herself a very nervous, fur-chewing dog that she takes around to various hippie-dippie types, looking for a cure. It's quite funny, and one of those books where you find yourself reading aloud lines about how the dog calls her multiple times a day from Anjoli's phone.

As for Lucy, her new home in the Berkshires has its problems too. The artists that come to stay at her place start having drastic cases of artist's block and nasty personality changes almost immediately upon moving in. And somehow no female can walk up the steps of her home without injuring a leg, and it doesn't heal too quickly either. On the other hand, someone who's not Jack or the local handyman is fixing stuff, so it's not all bad...but what IS causing that? A ghost?

There's not massive plot to this story- it's pretty much Lucy going along through life, hearing of other people's drama (or her aunt's lasered pubic hair!), getting annoyed at the artists, and trying to figure out if the ghost thing is happening for real. And yet, it's entertaining as hell. Fun fluff to read.

Four stars from me.

Madhouse

By Rob Thurman.

I'm still loving this series.

In this book, Cal and Niko go after Sawney Beane, who turns out to be a resurrected Red Cap who slaughters "travelers" and feeds off the insane. He's up to his old tricks, and the Leandros boys have to try to find any allies they can to go after him- some of which are uh, quite creative. Did I mention that Sawney finds Cal to be quite tasty? Must be those Auphe genes again... and speaking of, Cal starts experimenting with opening Auphe gates, even though they do nasty things to his head. Just in case they need an emergency exit...

In other news, Cal continues to deny his wanting of Georgie, but is fine with having sex, as long as it's with anything he can't knock up. Which may lead to some interesting developments in his future, even if they aren't necessarily what you might be rooting for emotionally. Oh, and we meet a fellow Robin knows who bears a disturbing resemblance to Niko...or maybe that's vice versa.

There's some new characters in this one that are interesting, particularly Delilah the werewolf, who has an amusingly laconic/practical attitude and an interest in Cal.

It does, however, end ON A WHOPPING DAMN CLIFFHANGER. Oof. And argh!

Four stars.

Seeing Me Naked

By Liza Palmer.

Elisabeth Page is one of the Pages. Her father is a literary star. Her mother's from a rich family. Her brother Rascal (his given name is even worse!) is following in the literary footsteps of Dad. Elisabeth, on the other hand...is a pastry chef at a prestigious restaurant who's wondering if she wants to live her life as it currently is- busy all the time, and quietly pining for her childhood sweetheart who's always flying off to Darfur or some such. So she makes some changes, such as dating a basketball coach and pondering the idea of her own television show- the latter of which is definitely considered to be "selling out" by dear old Dad. Considering that Rascal's book is being made into a movie, well...that's double the fun at home, eh?

I'm clearly not doing terribly well at describing the plot or the experience of this book. I'm sorry, it deserves better than I'm doing at the moment.  But it's a sensible book. I liked the Page/Foster family dynamics, and Elisabeth's trying to figure out her own way, and Rascal and his daddy issues (particularly uh, Thanksgiving). It's of the sort of chick lit I like, one where the narrator is thoughtful and goes through life changes rather than going on about her shoes (even though the main character seems to be doing comfortably financially) and her size as a means to a plot.

So, pretty good read. I'll give it four stars.