Speed-Reading Book Nerd Reviews

Tell Me Lies

By Jennifer Crusie.

It all begins when Maddie Faraday finds black crotchless panties in her husband Brent's car. He's already got a history of cheating, and Maddie is pretty damn sick of him (except for the part where he's her daughter's father, and their local reputations, she sounds delighted to have an excuse to get the hell out). But as it turns out, things are far, far worse than Brent just cheating again, It seems that Brent, the local golden boy, has been screwing a lot of people out of money. Soon Maddie's finding stashes of money and passports, and Brent smacks her when she confronts him, and everything is rapidly going to hell.

Coming to Maddie's rescue is C.L. Sturgis, the town "bad boy" back when they were in high school (Maddie lost her virginity to him, but never told anyone. C.L. fell for her right off). Now as a grown up, relatively respectable accountant, he's in town to investigate Brent's books. What with the cheating and all, Maddie does the same thing she did in high school and jumps into a relationship with a deliriously happy C.L. while (a) trying to figure out what the hell Brent is doing (note: it's a little frustrating that it's clear to everyone but Maddie that the money stuff is going on for a good chunk of the book), (b) trying to protect her daughter Em, and (c) trying to cover up that everything isn't perfectly normal. That, naturally, starts to go to hell pretty quickly.

It's kind of a chaotic but fun novel, husband badness aside. Kind of like Crazy For You, it's a bit of a switch to go back and forth between the husband drama and the new boyfriend, but it's not nearly as weird as it was in that book. Even though Maddie is moving on VERY  VERY QUICKLY, hell, her husband was a jerk and she was sick of him anyway, so why the hell not. I do think that the mystery, in the end, lies (har) out very well, even though the major aspect of it is kept way on the down low until the climax.

Three and a half stars. It's not my favorite Crusie, but it's certainly enjoyable.

Crazy For You

By Jennifer Crusie.

Apparently I never reviewed this one here? Must be remedied.

By getting a dog, Quinn MacKenzie ends up changing her entire life. Oh, and finding out that her boyfriend is a crazy psycho.

Quinn is a 35-year-old high school art teacher. Her longtime live-in boyfriend Bill is the football coach there and everyone loves him. And he's such a good guy! Sure, he does weird things like make a copy of Quinn's car key, but it's only so he can get her some gas! Quinn is settling for the dude, and is super effing bored of him, but only realizes this when she falls in love with an abandoned dog, and Bill insists that she get rid of it. And by insist, I mean "takes the dog to the pound." Quinn gets pissed, moves the hell out, arranges to get a house for her and the dog, cuts her hair, and starts pursuing her ex-brother-in-law Nick. Nick was her BIL for a short time 20 years ago and has always liked her, but feels really weirded out/bad about having the hots for Quinn.

Boredom seems to be going around: Quinn's best friend Darla is superbored with her beloved husband Max (Nick's brother) wanting everything to be the same as it has been for the last 17 years, the local homewrecker starts to chase after Max, Quinn's mother decides to move in her lesbian lover and kick dad out of the house... Pretty soon the girls are all riled and the guys are all, "Um, WHAT?"

And then there's Bill, who out of all the guys, REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTS THINGS TO STAY THE SAME, DAMMIT. He lives in total denial of Quinn's moving out, feels more and more weirded out, keeps trying to get the dog killed, screws with her bank loan, breaks into her house and starts to pull things apart so Quinn will "need" him... HOO BOY. Doesn't help that their mutual boss, the Boy Principal, is on Bill's side and harassing Quinn.

This is an entertaining book, albeit a strange one because you're mixing a love story with a creepy-ass story of stalking. I will say that the author REALLY details Bill's devolving sanity very, very well, and if you've ever wondered what those crazy people are thinking while they do that, she's got it down. However, I really don't know how I feel about switching back and forth beyond an otherwise fun story and the horrors of Bill. I like Quinn and Nick well enough as a couple, but every time they had a sweet moment, it'd switch back to Bill doing something awful and me losing the romantic buzz big time. And for an author who loves to write about dogs, Katie seems more like a plot device (well, obviously) than a character in her own right, compared to others in the series. I kind of wanted her to stand out MORE since she was the freaking catalyst for the entire plot.

I'll give it three and a half stars overall. It's good, but there's reservations (and triggers) to go with it too.

Waking Up In The Land Of Glitter

By Kathy Cano-Murillo.

This is the author's first fiction book (she's a well known craft writer), and while I couldn't help but notice some flaws (there's uh, quite a lot of head hopping, I kind of wish she'd picked one head and stuck to it per chapter or something), overall it's a sweet, entertaining story revolving around the Phoenix, AZ craft community.

Our main characters are:

• Star, a 24-year-old artist/dilletante who's spent the last few years doing (very good) marketing for her parents' restaurant/art nook, La Pachanga, instead of her own work. She's also sortakinda(?) dating a fellow artist named Theo, who did a big mural for the business. She finds some marital-related stuff in Theo's house one day, which freaks her the hell out and leads her to having a drunken bender with her roller derby girl cousin, getting tattooed, making out with a stranger, and spraying graffiti on Theo's mural. Naturally, this leads to her ass getting dumped by Theo and her parents making her shape up or ship out within the next six months.
• Ofelia, Star's best friend, a SAHM who's addicted to crafting. This wouldn't be so bad (the crafting seems to have saved her from whopping PPD), except that so far Ofie is freaking terrible at the crafts she does, and nobody can bear to tell her in case she relapses again. She's also spending into oblivion.
• "Crafty" Chloe, a TV news reporter trying to make her name by reporting on the craft community and demonstrating crafts on the show. (She's trying to ape the career of the legendary craft reporter Betty O'Hara.) Chloe actually doesn't like crafts, mind you, she makes her lackey put the crafts together for her. She's also a jerk to her live-in boyfriend, sleeps with her boss for promotions, and is generally an ass. Star can't stand her, Ofie loves her.
• Benecio, a sweet teenage future handbag designer who wants other crafters to hang out with, since his parents are so not into that.

All of these folks end up working together on designing and creating centerpieces for the upcoming Craft America conference in Phoenix, which Star has gotten La Pachanga involved in. Chloe, who's supposed to be hosting the event, joins the craft group Ofie started up, and much to her surprise, ends up mellowing out considerably. Star finds the art she's meant to do and grows up some, and Ofie, after a nasty comedown, finds what she's really good at. It's all pretty heartwarming. And while the occasional thing happens that seems a little too good to be true (Ofie's craft turnaround, specifically), it's fun to read, especially if you are into this sort of thing.

Three and a half stars.

Wicked Appetite

By Janet Evanovich.

Like I said previously, I got bored of this series, went back out of boredom during vacation. Looks like the "Between The Numbers" Plum books have morphed into an Unmentionables series now? Anyhoo, Diesel (the Unmentionable detective guy that followed Steph around and slept in her bed) has now moved on to another case and another chick, sorta. This one's a baker named Lizzy who, unbeknownst to her, is an Unmentionable. Her abilities are (a) being able to make supernaturally tasty cupcakes, and (b) being able to sense certain magical objects. The latter talent is one that only she and a RenFaire nut in Florida have.

Wulf, the bad guy in the Plums series, is after a bunch of charged objects that should make one giant super stone doodah based on the seven deadly sins, and he's in Massachusetts looking for the various pieces that make up the gluttony stone. Creepy Uncle Phil More left his to his various younger relatives, all of whom have developed unpleasant problems. One stashes food, one collects all kinds of random crap, one has a major problem with spanking... yeah. Lizzy is recruited by Diesel to track down the objects, while Wulf has recruited the RenFaire nut to do the same.

It is probably about 80% just like the Stephanie books (hell, the monkey even comes back), except Lizzy is smarter and actually has some live skills. Oh, aand because of them both being Unmentionables, Diesel can't sleep with her without one of them losing their powers. That's a slightly interesting plot device, especially at the end of the book, but mostly just seems oh-so-convenient to avoid actually dealing with Lizzy having sex with a guy who insists on sleeping in her bed and likes to go on about how he's going to get attached to her. I don't really get the point of this.

It ends kind of open-endedly--I guess the series is going to continue with Lizzy having to find the other stones, but I didn't care much. It's pleasant enough like every other book, and slightly more memorable in certain ways, but overall, eh...

Three stars.

Sizzling Sixteen

By Janet Evanovich.

I got bored of reading the Stephanie Plum books awhile back-- frankly, it was feeling like same old, same old, bored of this. However, I ran out of books to read(!) while on vacation and found myself resorting to whatever my mother had around the house that I hadn't read yet.

The plot is actually a fairly tricky/cohesive one for this series: Stephanie's cousin/boss Vinnie, he who screws hookers and gambles and racks up tons of debt with bad people, has gotten kidnapped by a gangster he owes money to. Steph, Lula, and Connie (the other employees of Vinnie) have to team up to get him back and be able to keep their jobs. This leads to serious thievery, stink bombs and fire bombs, an alligator, a giant garage sale of the entire back room of Vinnie's, nakedness, more explosions, and hobbits. I particularly enjoyed the use of hobbits, which was hysterical. 

Other than that... entertaining enough, ends in consequences that theoretically might change the whole series, but by now I know well that it won't, so in the end, I don't know if I care. *shrug*

Three stars.