Cecil, Welcome to Night Vale: "The problem wasn’t solved, but most problems don’t get solved. I mean, generally we just do our best to mitigate the problem, and if it can’t be mitigated, then it can be relegated to a background noise by pleasant distractions and a prioritization of interests."
Sarah Silverman: "Nothing’s more attractive than an unending monologue about your shortcomings."
Carolyn Hax: "Sometimes surrendering to the awful is more useful than fighting it."
Graham Joyce: "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
Dan Harmon: "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
Nora Ephron: "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
McAlvie "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
Jenny Zhang: "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
Joe Queenan: "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
LogicalDash: "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
Keith Richards: "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
Caitlin Moran: "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly.
Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing.
"I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
Carolyn Hax: "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
David Simon: "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
Joe Queenan: "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
Dan Savage: "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
the painkiller: "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
Steve Jobs: "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Apple: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
Miss Manners: "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
Stephen Tobolowsky: "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
James Bulls: "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
Amy Argetsinger: "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
Cary Tennis: "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
Mark Morford: "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
Charlie Jane Anders: "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
Roger Ebert: "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
Myca: "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
Lady Gaga: "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
Dianna Agron: "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
John Mayer: "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
Vanessa, Something Positive: "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
Anonymous: “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
Sugar: "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
Wide Lawns: "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
Anonymous reporter: “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
Anne Johnson: "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
Carl Mayer: "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
"When that 37 percent figure came out, we urged caution, because we are boring scolds. But also because we pointed out that these daily figures (which are actually running three-day averages) were volatile and because of whom Gallup polls. We suggested, instead, that you consider the weekly average from Gallup, which gives a better sense of the long-term trend. And that is actually the new bad news for Trump. Sure, he’s now seen a daily low that suggests he’s pretty unpopular. But last week he hit a new low as well of 39 percent — after all the volatility is smoothed out. That’s lower than Obama ever saw during any single week."
Yes, someone can really die like that--the author's sister did. Anyway, this is a pretty powerful read.
Also, I love that this is on the website gardenandgun.com.
"Harling says he went to a place of “rage and anger,” a state exacerbated by the fact that his sister’s widower remarried shortly after her death. Even more difficult was the fact that his nephew began calling his stepmother “Mama.” Harling was afraid Susan would be forgotten.
SHIRLEY MACLAINE Herbert called and said, “I’m going to send you this script, and you can play any part you want, except for M’Lynn and the daughter.” So I read it and I said, “I want to play the really bitchy one.” I think I was rehearsing for my old age. I was seeing if I could get away with saying what I negatively felt and still be funny. And it’s kind of turned out that way, actually.
She had on that white cashmere sweater with the marabou around the neck, and she was just swinging, cool as a cucumber. Julia said, “Dolly, we’re dying and you never say a word. Why don’t you let loose?” Dolly very serenely smiled and said, “When I was young and had nothing, I wanted to be rich and famous, and now I am. So I’m not going to complain about anything.”
SHIRLEY MACLAINEWe immediately saw that Herbert was cruel to both Dolly and Julia. I don’t know why, except he was basically a choreographer, and choreographers tend to be cruel in the name of art. Julia’s feelings were hurt, and we lived next door to each other, and she was over every night. We talked about life, and I tried to help her because I was a dancer and understood the choreographer mentality. Then one day I basically told him to go f**k himself and everybody heard it and things got better.
But you know, my sister died and I wrote about it and people look at it and think it’s all limos and glamour and sitting next to Princess Di at the royal premiere. My sister had to die for all that to happen. So almost daily I think about what my life would be if she had lived. It can take you to an uncompromisingly dark place sometimes. Then I just have to go back to the honesty of the first impulse, that I just wanted somebody to remember her.
From the author Q&A link:
"Speaking of cake, had you ever seen an armadillo groom’s cake? There was indeed an armadillo groom’s cake at my sister’s wedding. The red velvet part was my writerly creation. The original one was very simple—a sheet cake cut in the shape of an armadillo. Not like the high art form it’s become. I’ve seen some amazing edible armadillos. The New York Times credited me with the rediscovery and revival of red velvet cake. I consider this as one of my great life achievements."
"We learned from our collections-agency owner that most people, given a chance, really do want to pay their debts. We learned from our Starbucks barista that, sadly, there is no secret menu. “It’s stuff that random-ass people made up online and then try to order and expect us to know what it is and we have no idea because some person made it up on the internet.” We learned from our veterinarian that a pig’s balls are way bigger than most people imagine. We learned from our Microsoft researcher that when search results are delayed by 100 milliseconds, users think they suck."
"The outlook wasn’t brilliant for Republicans that day. They’d promised for six years that they’d repeal the ACA. But when the caucus gathered, and they looked from man to man They knew that not a one of them had ever had a plan.
“I’d counted on a veto,” said a rep from Tennessee. “The blame Obama always took would fall on Hillary. Then Pennsylvania went for Trump, and Michigan the same. And now we run the government, we can’t just play a game.”
“I’m the guy who wrote Groundhog Day,” he says now. “I’m not the amazing screenwriter who’s had this long and storied career. I’m not Tom Stoppard.” But if you have to be stuck with one movie, it could be a worse movie than Groundhog Day. “It’s delightful to be so associated with something so well loved,” Rubin says. “You could break your heart thinking you’re the victim of this amazing life you’ve got.”
This is the story of how Danny Rubin wrote Groundhog Day not once but twice — maybe more times than that, but who’s counting. It’s unusual for any artist to live so long under the shadow of a single work, let alone a story that is itself intimately concerned with limits and repetition. It’s more unusual still for an artist to return to that story in another medium for an encore nearly 25 years later. Yet here Rubin is, in a Broadway theater, listening to his words echo, again and again and again, into the dark."
Still waiting for it to start and it's 1:12 p.m. Oh, showbiz. I do like the Leia-rain costume drawing that they have up on the screen.
There is a cute little gray furry dog (not Gary) that is sitting on a reserved chair and getting filmed periodically, I wonder whose that is?
1:17 p.m. someone asks people to indicate any empty seats, where else to go upstairs, etc. My mom just called as a dude starts talking. Not now, it might actually start!
Is that redhead they're filming famous? I can't place her. I wonder how many non-performing famous people in the audience for this having to mingle with hoi polloi since this is the public event.
Mom just called wondering if the redhead is Debbie's sister. Does she have a sister? I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised. Mom posits that the dog is Debbie's.
1:24 p.m. Todd is all "better late than never." My mom is still not figuring out what website to watch this on. Debbie gets a color guard, literally. Mom figures out the website and hangs up.
I do not think anyone knew what to make of them quietly marching around. Me either.
This show was designed for one big family to be in the living room telling each other stories, more or less. I appreciate the sentiment, Todd.
"These are my people, just like you are my people." -Debbie. Awwwww.
"My mother decided to change her plans a bit." "I never want to go to my daughter's funeral service. She is now, differently though." Todd says he didn't know she was going to leave that day and didn't pick up on that when she asked to leave. She said she wanted to be with Carrie, closed her eyes and went to sleep. "which only my mother could have orchestrated." Trained to make great entrance and exit. It was beautiful.
The Carrie and Debbie directors chairs are on stage. I think Debbie's is from Will and Grace and Carrie's is of course from Star Wars.
Todd plugs the sales of Forest Lawn, complete with hummingbirds. Is he being compensated for this?
Todd promises to put rooms of Debbie's and Carrie's in a museum as is, in the rooms they held court in. I wish I could see the collectibles in the lobby.
Time for some video.
Space baby! Literally! With Leia's birth certificate.
Go Leia, saving everyone's skins.
R2-D2 is there, crying? Todd kinda...hug pats it.
"Someone is staring at you in personal growth."
Warren had to come over and convince Debbie to say "fuck" in Shampoo rather than "screw."
GO ROCKET LAUNCHER!
Honey, maybe you need to think about things before you kill him, huh? (Blues Brothers)
Speaking of entrances, never hurts to jump out of cake.
"She wanted to be a gym teacher." -Todd. Whaaaaat?
The glasses Debbie and Carrie are sporting in more modern shots are a hoot. Where did Debbie get giant purple ones?
Why was it called Thalians? I hate to make a $cientology joke, but every time I hear that name I think of them.
Loooong list of Debbie's charities.
Now we have a lesson on fabric?
Oh, HERE's Debbie's sister....by choice.
Mom can't ID her either except she was in movies.
Both of them didn't like flowers, so don't buy any flowers ("god, I hope the Florist's Guild isn't here") or put candles anywhere. Just give money to the Thalians. Btw, check the envelopes we have left around for donations.
"Now, forgive the commercial I just gave..."
Two things to worry about: well or sick? If you're sick, two things to worry about. If you get better, no worries. If you die there are two things...heaven or hell. If you go to hell... I guess you have plenty of time to worry? sigh Streaming.
Debbie's birthday is April 1. Time for some of her favorite songs.
Calling for a standing O.
Rita is that woman's name?"
"These old broads, right?" says Todd. "Margie Duncan?" Apparently Margie is having a hard time getting out of the audience. Billed as Debbie's oldest friend, still runs the Debbie Reynolds Dance Studio. Oh, THAT's the redhead!
Debbie does her own commercial for the studio.
Patsy Metzger Dancers.
Debbie introduced herself to kids as "Princess Leia's mother."
Now for Bill and Debbie Bartlett.
Green was Debbie's favorite color. Now for another group that the streaming cut the name off of.
They're doing the Good Morning song. V. appropriate.
Solo tap number to guess what song.
Here come the raincoats and umbrellas for Singin' In The Rain.
And that just got more modern.
If they have a Star Wars dance number later I will squeal. Not expecting it though.
Ben Mankiowitz is on from Turner Classic Movies. He's a little bit flustered and off his game because someone stole his hat? He idolized but didn't know Carrie. He found an article about her on webMD about her getting past Princess Leia--but she IS Princess Leia. "when I'm at a restaurant, I don't tell people I wrote Postcards From The Edge."
Mom ID"s the first lady as Rita Lee.
"Make the women smarter and the love scenes better." --Carrie on script doctoring.
Debbie knew the power of classic movies. Robert Osborne got offers from TCM a year before they started up and another place and Debbie said he'd be #1 host rather than 2 at AMC, and TCM had better movies, so go to TCM. They are grateful to her.
Gay Men's Chorus did "True Colors."
My computer crashed abominably, Mom tells me I missed Dan Ackroyd. WAAAAAAH.
James Blunt wrote "You're Beautiful" in Carrie's bathroom, it's played to a lovely slideshow of her. James's original Carrie song will be on later.
Marty Gatz sings.
CARRIE AND BILLIE IN GLASSES TOGETHER IS SO CUTE.
Uncle Bill Reynolds doesn't like talking, but he's in the audience. "He is the last man standing besides me....He is hiding under his chair. He went to the bathroom. That makes sense."
"All of Carrie's pets ended up at my ranch." Including Archie. Cousin Leslie Reynolds handling Dwight the dog.
"We have to stop at some point. But not yet."
Griffin Dunne may be around, or not.
Marty(?) is talking about the Beverly Hills smartass version of Our Gang.
He was roommates with Carrie and Debbie would make her nag phone calls to him instead. "Neither of us were sleeping." (On coke, I guess.) Being her roommate was like being in a 24-7 musical comedy. "We never had one serious moment." She'd call from England while he was waiting tables at Beefstick Charlie's saying "this movie is so stupid." "This big ape chases me around." "You're gonna hate this movie." But after seeing it they knew movies would never be the same. The doorman called him Mr. Fisher.
Dude calls up Gavin de Becker. Oy.
ARGGGGGGGGGGGH GAVIN DE BECKER HAS BEEN THE FUNNIEST THING AND MY COMPUTER CRASHED WHILE I WAS WRITING ALL OF IT. I give up, I'm watching it on my phone.
I hope to god someone saves a better recording of this because this is so touching and funny.
Todd's wife Catherine is up. She says Carrie urged Gavin to write The Gift of Fear, which she calls a guide for life. (There, anyway.) She has an emotional wellness chicken. She's serious. I want to see this. Debbie had the family join her for her last show and they have a clip of it. It was Billie's first time singing.
This is so cute, Carrie and Billie singing.
Oh, sure, now that I watch this on the phone there's no lag whatsoever.
James Blunt song time. It's a video. Not sure what to make of it but I did enjoy the photos.