"4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language, which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run.
7. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT.
11. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
12. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, and so on, kill them immediately.
13. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine."