What's Going On

Quotes

  • the painkiller:
    "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
  • Steve Jobs:
    "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
  • Apple:
    "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
  • Miss Manners:
    "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
  • Stephen Tobolowsky:
    "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
  • James Bulls:
    "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
  • SOMEBODY???
    "May the bridges I burn light the way"
  • Amy Argetsinger:
    "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
  • Cary Tennis:
    "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
  • Mark Morford:
    "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
  • Charlie Jane Anders:
    "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
  • Roger Ebert:
    "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
  • Myca:
    "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
  • Lady Gaga:
    "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
  • Dianna Agron:
    "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
  • John Mayer:
    "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
  • Vanessa, Something Positive:
    "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
  • Anonymous:
    “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
  • Sugar:
    "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
  • Wide Lawns:
    "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
  • Anonymous reporter:
    “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
  • Anne Johnson:
    "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
  • Carl Mayer:
    "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
  • John Scalzi:
    "In retrospect, it’s a little weird to think that my entire future was falling into place as I obliviously tucked into the El Presidente chimichanga platter, but of course, that’s life for you — the most important days of your existence don’t always announce themselves in obvious ways."
  • Tart and Soul:
    "Indeed, love comes whether we have braced ourselves for it or not. But commitment offers a choice, tapping us on the shoulder to say, “sorry to bother you. Is this a good time?”
  • J.C. Hutchins:
    "I was Wanky McWankerton, in love with words I’d yet to write. I did this for nearly two years. If every sperm is sacred, God wasn’t irate with me — he was effing thermonuclear."
  • Beth Sekishiro:
    "You don't need to be conventional to love people. Maybe you've got to give up your whole life - but that's just when you'll find it."
  • Cormac McCarthy:
    "Creative work is often driven by pain. It may be that if you don't have something in the back of your head driving you nuts, you may not do anything. It's not a good arrangement. If I were God, I wouldn't have done it that way."
  • From "Andromeda Klein:"
    "sometimes the Universe was subtle; other times it hit you over the head like it thought you were stupid."
  • Dame Margot Fonteyn:
    "But somehow or other, fate doesn't always do the things that might be sensible. Fate leads you to do other things. And I'm a great fatalist."
  • Alan Moore:
    "Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky."
  • Lani Diane Rich:
    "I have a good friend going through a horrendously bad time right now, the kind of lifetime crisis that either kills you or changes you so fundamentally that you will never again be the person you were before. I recently went through something similar, although I don’t think I let it take as much of a chunk out of me as it’s taking out of her, mostly because I’ve had my ass kicked by the Universe before. I know that when you keep trying to make something work, and it doesn’t no matter what you do, then you need to relax and figure out what the Universe is trying to tell you, because the Universe will continue to make your life hell until you do."
  • Cary Tennis:
    "Some people might not approve of your needs. Screw them. You didn't invent your own needs."
  • Jennifer Finney Boylan:
    "The world is full of false hopes, most of them dumber than the hope of being transformed by love."
  • Hugh Macleod:
    “Good ideas come with a heavy burden; which is why so few people execute them. Few people can handle it.“


  • Fiona Glennane on meditation:
    “I want you to close your eyes and breathe deep. Picture a peaceful mountain stream. Can you do that? Picture yourself drowning the kidnapper in the stream.”
  • Sarah Haskins:
    "We used to just grow old and be spinsters. Now we have a lot of options: We can be spinsters or cougars."
  • The Doctor:
    "All that attitude, all that lip, 'cos all this time... you think you're not worth it. Shouting at the world 'cos no-one's listening. Well... why should they?"
  • Winter, the guy trying to visit all the Starbucks before they close:
    "Pointless though it might it be, a goal is a goal."
  • Carolyn Hax:
    Carlsbad, N.M.: How do I figure out what to be when I grow up? Carolyn Hax: I dunno, but it's easier if you grow up first, then figure it out. Otherwise you'll just change your mind when you get there.

« Archie McPhee offerings. | Main | Holiday fun. »

December 03, 2003

Festivus!

Created on Seinfeld, Festivus "Festivus is a holiday held on 23 December of each year. It was created as a response to the commercialism of the other December holidays. Its slogan is "Festivus, a holiday for the rest of us".
The Festivus celebration includes three major components.
The Festivus Pole - display of an unadorned aluminum pole, apparently in opposition to the commercialization of the decorated Christmas trees.
The Airing of Grievances - where the celebrant tells their friends and family all of the instances where they disappointed the celebrant that year.
The Feats of Strength - where the head of the family tests their strength against one participant. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead."

This guy claims the date is uh, different....

Sound clips from the episode.

Cards for the holiday.

People celebrating Festivus.

And a tale in the same spirit, I guess...
"When I worked at the college, one of my co-workers is Jewish so we would steer clear of the commercialized Christian/pagan "Christmas" aspects of the holiday season for his comfort and because it was a State School and we wanted to play politically correct (plus, he loves to complain about stuff like that so steering clear didn't give him the opportunity as often). We decided that it'd be fun to do a Secret Santa, but calling it a Secret Santa was politically incorrect and prime for Brian complaints.
So, we called it Secret Kramer. Named, of course, for Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld, as most of us did indeed enjoy the show.
For a couple of weeks before our Holiday Party gifts would be bestowed upon "Victims" by their own Secret Kramer. And hilarity ensued. The students got involved too. We did it the traditional way, where you pick a person's name and then you have to give that person a gift every or every other day, and the 'revealing' of the Secret Kramer was the day of the holiday party.
Some of the co-workers were particularly mean spirited and naughty. Well, not mean spirited really... "evil sense of humor-embodied" would be better to classify them. One Kramer "Victim" got all kinds of insane gifts. I remember being given a gift by the Kramer for a "victim" and told to put it in the Ladies Bathroom in my office area. The victim was male, and he had to go in and retrieve it.
It was his own license plate, removed from his car, wrapped beautifully with ribbons and bows."


Posted on December 03, 2003 at 07:19 PM in Current Events and News |

Comments

Mickey

LOVED THE SITE! My brother and sister have been celebrating festivus for years!

Posted by: Mickey | December 10, 2003 at 05:06 PM

kobes

May you all have your very own Festivus Miracle!

Posted by: kobes | December 14, 2003 at 08:54 AM

DonG

Festivus is great! I have been celebrating for 3 years now. Festivus just so happens to land on my birthday so I picked up the holiday and ran with it. I have a party every year to celebrate. All of my co-workers also look foward to festivus all year long so they too can come and enjoy all of the festivities! Festivus is a wonderful thing.

Posted by: DonG | December 14, 2003 at 12:18 PM

Carlus

Festivus rules! The feats of strength................

Posted by: Carlus | December 18, 2003 at 09:15 AM

MattB

Festivus Down under

Posted by: MattB | December 19, 2003 at 09:16 AM

Andy

this will be my first year celebrating festivus. i'm looking forward to it.

Posted by: Andy | December 19, 2003 at 08:26 PM

TomL

Thank you, Frank Costanza, for giving us the joy and wonder that is Festivus.

Posted by: TomL | December 24, 2003 at 11:32 AM

Kali

Love the "Secret Kramers" idea - has *huge* amusement potential for those of us who are similarly "evil sense of humor embodied"...

Posted by: Kali | December 24, 2003 at 12:59 PM

pete

hey this is gay

Posted by: pete | December 25, 2003 at 04:32 PM

TomL

We're not gay! -not that there's anything wrong with being gay...

Posted by: TomL | December 29, 2003 at 01:51 PM

apersonsmarterthanyou

Listen. When I think of humans coming into this world to possibly further the evolutionary progress we tend to have done so well over the last hundred years, I realize what sort of control "substance" has to be involved, in order to royaly fuck it up. Well, I found it. People like you, tend to stew our human population into a rotting cess-pool of depleting human intelligence. Please feel free to shoot yourself in the head, or find any concenient method of killing yourself for the sake of humanity. Or, if you choose to exist, notice the sense of irony you would display by truly following the parameters of chaos theory, to the full extent.

Thank you for your time and patience :)
"tiny"

Posted by: apersonsmarterthanyou | June 30, 2004 at 01:05 PM

June

We have the only Festivus Pole in Rockport, given to us on 12/23/03 by our good friends, TJ and Amanda. Best gift ever! Thanks, guys and thanks to Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for all the laughs.

Posted by: June | September 18, 2004 at 02:52 PM

June and David

We have the only Festivus Pole in Rockport, given to us on 12/23/03 by our good friends, TJ and Amanda. Best gift ever! Thanks, guys and thanks to Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for all the laughs.

Posted by: June and David | September 18, 2004 at 02:53 PM

Ben

Happy Festivus to all!

Posted by: Ben | December 06, 2004 at 08:01 PM

Cheryl

Happy Festivus to all. My brother, who switches from atheism and agnosticism and back on occasion, does not celebrate Christmas. He doesn't celebrate much of anything, come to think of it. So...in an effort to get him to accept a present from us (me and my hubby, that is) last year, we declared our gift a Festivus present. Worked like a charm. This year, given a little head start, we are going all out for Festivus. We're betting he doesn't have his own Festivus Pole, so we are sending him one (two states away). Naturally it has to be a Portable Festivus Pole, suitable for shipping and thus also suitable for celebrating Festivus even if you're away from home. How can I get one of these marvelous Portable Festivus Poles, you ask? It's simple, my friends. Simply detach a telescoping antenna from an old set of rabbit ears and voila! you have a Portable Festivus Pole. NO TINSEL!

Posted by: Cheryl | December 08, 2004 at 09:20 AM

Jennifer

That is SO AWESOME!

Posted by: Jennifer | December 08, 2004 at 12:22 PM

Cheryl

Thank you very much! :::bowing:::

Posted by: Cheryl | December 08, 2004 at 03:10 PM

Duncan

On Festivus Eve, it's only proper to gather with those who have come up short, and sit around the Festivus Pole and recall Festivi past. Feats of Strength to follow tomorrow!!!

Posted by: Duncan | December 22, 2004 at 11:32 AM

Jennifer

Heheh. Pre-programmed Festivus post to go up tomorrow morning...not as thorough as past ones, but oh well.

Posted by: Jennifer | December 22, 2004 at 03:22 PM

david

My favorite part of Festivus is the "Airing of Grievances" while sitting around the dinner table. Typical of real American life, wouldn't you say?

Posted by: david | December 23, 2004 at 07:28 PM

Dano

Happy Festivus to all! What a great site!! I can't think of a better Holiday since the commercialism of Christmas has ruined it for me. I was discussing this Holiday with my wife last week and like a sign from beyond, I happened onto this site on the very day of Festivus!!! Now I just need to get my aluminum pole! Another Festivus Miracle!!! I have no takers on the Feat of Strength, though. Maybe next year....

Posted by: Dano | December 23, 2004 at 07:59 PM

Nanci

We had a Festivus Concert at the local high school. We had several different groups performing a variety of music. We are th e Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps. We had a "standstill" performance (no marching). There were jazz combos, a madrigal choir, new age minstrel group, and 3 different brass groups. It was great fun but no Festivus pole that I remember. We did air a few grievances, tho!

Posted by: Nanci | December 23, 2004 at 09:06 PM

Nanci

We had a Festivus Concert at the local high school. We had several different groups performing a variety of music. We are the Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps. We had a "standstill" performance (no marching). There were jazz combos, a madrigal choir, new age minstrel group, and 3 different brass groups. It was great fun but no Festivus pole that I remember. We did air a few grievances, tho!

Posted by: Nanci | December 23, 2004 at 09:07 PM

Nanci

We had a Festivus Concert at the local high school. We had several different groups performing a variety of music. We are the Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps. We had a "standstill" performance (no marching). There were jazz combos, a madrigal choir, new age minstrel group, and 3 different brass groups. It was great fun but no Festivus pole that I remember. We did air a few grievances, tho!

Posted by: Nanci | December 23, 2004 at 09:07 PM

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