What's Going On

Quotes

  • Jennifer Finney Boylan:
    "The world is full of false hopes, most of them dumber than the hope of being transformed by love."
  • Hugh Macleod:
    “Good ideas come with a heavy burden; which is why so few people execute them. Few people can handle it.“


  • Fiona Glennane on meditation:
    “I want you to close your eyes and breathe deep. Picture a peaceful mountain stream. Can you do that? Picture yourself drowning the kidnapper in the stream.”
  • Sarah Haskins:
    "We used to just grow old and be spinsters. Now we have a lot of options: We can be spinsters or cougars."
  • The Doctor:
    "All that attitude, all that lip, 'cos all this time... you think you're not worth it. Shouting at the world 'cos no-one's listening. Well... why should they?"
  • Winter, the guy trying to visit all the Starbucks before they close:
    "Pointless though it might it be, a goal is a goal."
  • Carolyn Hax:
    Carlsbad, N.M.: How do I figure out what to be when I grow up? Carolyn Hax: I dunno, but it's easier if you grow up first, then figure it out. Otherwise you'll just change your mind when you get there.
  • Bobby Singer:
    "Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel GOOD? Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're SUPPOSED to make you miserable, that's why they're family!"
  • Dan Savage:
    "You want crazy frosting on sane cake."
  • fillyjonk on Susan Boyle:
    "What makes people stop laughing — or at least, what makes you stop caring if they do? The discovery that something about you is utterly remarkable."
  • Gregg Levoy:
    "Chaos is just going to throw on a tie-dye shirt and come to work with no pants on."
  • Carrie Fisher:
    "My mother always said to me, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, dear!” and I wanted to say, “Oh, okay! Then I won’t! I thought that it was a good thing to rough yourself up, but you say it’s not, so I’ll just stop! Thanks for the tip!”
  • deering:
    "Someone who wants to be a doctor or an engineer isn't told right off that bat that they are untalented, or impractical, or can't make it, ever. :P"
  • Jonathan Coulton:
    "This is the thing about the new landscape that drives everyone crazy: you can’t see inside the cow; you can only build one, feed it music, and wait for it to poop."
  • Andrew Ramer:
    "All life wobbles on this planet. Wobbles, or dances. As sometimes, when someone bumps into you on the dance floor, you turn to them with anger in your eyes. And sometimes, you turn to them and love stares back, and the bruise on your thigh was all worth it. So with Earth. It smiles, and rubs its hip. "When you understand fire, you no longer stick your hand in it, you contain it and cook with it. When you understand the wobble, you no longer fear it or hate it, you move with it, use it. And sometimes, when your life is a mess, when you've been in therapy for 57 years and you're still falling in love with the wrong person--stop blaming your parents or yourself. Stop and take a deep breath and say to yourself--I'm living on a world that wobbles on its axis. It has seasons and changes. And sometimes, what seems to be going wrong in my life isn't really a flaw in my nature. It's just that I haven't learned to wobble with the world yet. The Earth laughs at itself. Can you?"
  • Carolyn Hax:
    "Short description of a long process: Figure out the things that make you feel confident/fulfilled/energized; that give you a sense of purpose or accomplishment; that tap into your natural abilities and strengths; and that -don't- put you at the mercy of any one person, and orient your life around those. Often, this requires another step--concurrently or as a precursor--of reducing the role in your life of things that make you feel worthless/empty/exhausted; that require skills that don't come naturally; that feel like a waste of time; or that put you routinely at the mercy of others."
  • Kitty Norville:
    "People are always saying that to me--how can I possibly be a skeptic given what I am? Given how much I know about what's really out there, how can I turn my nose up at any half-baked belief that crosses my desk? Really, it's easy, because so many of them are half-baked. They're formulated by people trying to con other people and make a few bucks. The fact that some of this is real makes it even more important to be on our guard, to be that much more skeptical, so we can separate truth and fiction. Blind faith is still blind, and I try not to be."
  • Kitty Norville:
    "The supernatural world was like an onion. You peel back the layers, only to find more layers, on and on, hopelessly trying to reach the mysterious core. Then you start crying."
  • regicide is good for you:
    "Are ads even trying to sell anything anymore, or just keep us vaguely, constantly aware that there are generally things on sale somewhere nearby? I like this new model. People get paid to delight me, and I walk away still blissfully unaware of products."
  • Hanna Rosin:
    "One fleeting thing—an unearned pile of money, a one-night stand, a tattoo, a suddenly paralyzed teammate—can change your entire life. Accident and coincidence are more powerful than any God-driven holistic narrative."
  • B.J. Love (what a name, eh?):
    “People may think art is a waste of time because it’s not ‘goods’ that can be bought, sold and taxed, but down the road art is all we got. The only historical documents I've read from the 1860s are the Gettysburg address, a poetic speech, and Leaves of Grass and THAT is how I understand those times, and I think years from now, poetry will still be how we understand times, these time included.”
  • Seymour, "Burn Notice":
    "Don't argue with destiny. It will kick your ass."
  • NoStyleHere:
    "So I'm 48, good god man, and my experience is that every time you think life is finally starting to be less weird, it busts loose with a whole new *kind* of weird. Life ebbs and flows and changes and much of the joy of it is in its utter unpredictability."
  • Patricia Briggs:
    "As an author, I sometimes feel like the wicked witch. My job is to find someone happily minding their own business, and mess up their happy little lives until they're upset enough to get off their rump and go change something."
  • Elliot Bangs:
    "What the hell was I doing? I asked myself, more than once. But haven't you ever needed to follow a mystery past all the limits of common sense? Have you ever found yourself in a whole awful prison of a world in which every last familiar and sensible thing has finally come up hollow and pointless? Have you ever been left with nothing on which to stake all your hopes of transcendence, save one good leap into the abyss? It also suffices to say that the story would have ended here if it hadn't been for alcohol."
  • Elsa:
    For me it’s like being a horse… a thoroughbred. That "horse is born to run… pretty much that is why it is here. It can rest but the basic life is getting ready to run, running and then recovering from running. If you take a horse like that or a person like me and you tie them down, you are killing that horse. You are perverting nature. That horse is not going to thrive and God or the universe is going to be very pissed at you. He or it will also be pissed at the horse because what’s it doing standing there when it knows damned well it’s supposed to run?"
  • Carrie Fisher:
    "Now, keeping yourself impervious to mockery is a full time occupation. I’ve been working at it ever since I can remember."
  • Murdoc Niccals, The Gorillaz
    "Always be wary of people who use quotes." I don't know who said that."
  • flipside:
    "Following your heart through life is like following your feet across a piano."
  • The Doctor:
    "You want weapons? We're in a library. Books! Best weapons in the world. This room's the greatest arsenal we could have. Arm yourself."
  • Jessica Lovejoy:
    "You know what would be great? This totally impossible thing!"
  • D. Brian Burghart:
    "I’d like to be in love—if not with a person, then with a consuming new idea or project that will move me from the waiting for the next phase of my life to the real deal."
  • Anonymous:
    "If a cannibal can find someone to volunteer to be killed and eaten, surely our problems of finding the appropriate relationships to suit us are considerably more minimal."
  • Joss Whedon:
    "Honestly, it really is that little chaos factor. It's when the thing starts talking back to you. When you come up with something that is a little bit more than just a good reproduction of what was in the book, and somehow reflects you in a way that you didn't understand yourself: that's art."
  • Rasputin:
    "This is what has always bothered me about relationships. It’s never just you and your partner who get into one: It’s always you, your partner, and society. And that’s not a three-way I’m comfortable with."
  • Anonymous:
    It's funny how quickly your plans change from "changing the world and chasing your dreams" to "getting really fucking drunk."
  • Keith Olbermann:
    "You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of...love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don’t have to help it, you don’t have it applaud it, you don’t have to fight for it. Just don’t put it out. Just don’t extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don’t know and you don’t understand and maybe you don’t even want to know...It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person… Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too."
  • Lafayette from True Blood:
    "Ain't no freak gonna tell no other freak how to live."
  • Mitch Hedberg:
    "I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to figure out where they're going, and hook up with them later."
  • Cathal Morrow:
    "Two truths I didn’t realise until just now: 1. I’ve always had the sense that my life is moving towards some sort higher truth 2. It’s not going particularly well"

« Archie McPhee offerings. | Main | Holiday fun. »

December 03, 2003

Festivus!

Created on Seinfeld, Festivus "Festivus is a holiday held on 23 December of each year. It was created as a response to the commercialism of the other December holidays. Its slogan is "Festivus, a holiday for the rest of us".
The Festivus celebration includes three major components.
The Festivus Pole - display of an unadorned aluminum pole, apparently in opposition to the commercialization of the decorated Christmas trees.
The Airing of Grievances - where the celebrant tells their friends and family all of the instances where they disappointed the celebrant that year.
The Feats of Strength - where the head of the family tests their strength against one participant. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead."

This guy claims the date is uh, different....

Sound clips from the episode.

Cards for the holiday.

People celebrating Festivus.

And a tale in the same spirit, I guess...
"When I worked at the college, one of my co-workers is Jewish so we would steer clear of the commercialized Christian/pagan "Christmas" aspects of the holiday season for his comfort and because it was a State School and we wanted to play politically correct (plus, he loves to complain about stuff like that so steering clear didn't give him the opportunity as often). We decided that it'd be fun to do a Secret Santa, but calling it a Secret Santa was politically incorrect and prime for Brian complaints.
So, we called it Secret Kramer. Named, of course, for Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld, as most of us did indeed enjoy the show.
For a couple of weeks before our Holiday Party gifts would be bestowed upon "Victims" by their own Secret Kramer. And hilarity ensued. The students got involved too. We did it the traditional way, where you pick a person's name and then you have to give that person a gift every or every other day, and the 'revealing' of the Secret Kramer was the day of the holiday party.
Some of the co-workers were particularly mean spirited and naughty. Well, not mean spirited really... "evil sense of humor-embodied" would be better to classify them. One Kramer "Victim" got all kinds of insane gifts. I remember being given a gift by the Kramer for a "victim" and told to put it in the Ladies Bathroom in my office area. The victim was male, and he had to go in and retrieve it.
It was his own license plate, removed from his car, wrapped beautifully with ribbons and bows."


Posted on December 03, 2003 at 07:19 PM in Current Events and News |

Comments

LOVED THE SITE! My brother and sister have been celebrating festivus for years!

Posted by: Mickey | December 10, 2003 at 05:06 PM

May you all have your very own Festivus Miracle!

Posted by: kobes | December 14, 2003 at 08:54 AM

Festivus is great! I have been celebrating for 3 years now. Festivus just so happens to land on my birthday so I picked up the holiday and ran with it. I have a party every year to celebrate. All of my co-workers also look foward to festivus all year long so they too can come and enjoy all of the festivities! Festivus is a wonderful thing.

Posted by: DonG | December 14, 2003 at 12:18 PM

Festivus rules! The feats of strength................

Posted by: Carlus | December 18, 2003 at 09:15 AM

Festivus Down under

Posted by: MattB | December 19, 2003 at 09:16 AM

this will be my first year celebrating festivus. i'm looking forward to it.

Posted by: Andy | December 19, 2003 at 08:26 PM

Thank you, Frank Costanza, for giving us the joy and wonder that is Festivus.

Posted by: TomL | December 24, 2003 at 11:32 AM

Love the "Secret Kramers" idea - has *huge* amusement potential for those of us who are similarly "evil sense of humor embodied"...

Posted by: Kali | December 24, 2003 at 12:59 PM

hey this is gay

Posted by: pete | December 25, 2003 at 04:32 PM

We're not gay! -not that there's anything wrong with being gay...

Posted by: TomL | December 29, 2003 at 01:51 PM

Listen. When I think of humans coming into this world to possibly further the evolutionary progress we tend to have done so well over the last hundred years, I realize what sort of control "substance" has to be involved, in order to royaly fuck it up. Well, I found it. People like you, tend to stew our human population into a rotting cess-pool of depleting human intelligence. Please feel free to shoot yourself in the head, or find any concenient method of killing yourself for the sake of humanity. Or, if you choose to exist, notice the sense of irony you would display by truly following the parameters of chaos theory, to the full extent.

Thank you for your time and patience :)
"tiny"

Posted by: apersonsmarterthanyou | June 30, 2004 at 01:05 PM

We have the only Festivus Pole in Rockport, given to us on 12/23/03 by our good friends, TJ and Amanda. Best gift ever! Thanks, guys and thanks to Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for all the laughs.

Posted by: June | September 18, 2004 at 02:52 PM

We have the only Festivus Pole in Rockport, given to us on 12/23/03 by our good friends, TJ and Amanda. Best gift ever! Thanks, guys and thanks to Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for all the laughs.

Posted by: June and David | September 18, 2004 at 02:53 PM

Happy Festivus to all!

Posted by: Ben | December 06, 2004 at 08:01 PM

Happy Festivus to all. My brother, who switches from atheism and agnosticism and back on occasion, does not celebrate Christmas. He doesn't celebrate much of anything, come to think of it. So...in an effort to get him to accept a present from us (me and my hubby, that is) last year, we declared our gift a Festivus present. Worked like a charm. This year, given a little head start, we are going all out for Festivus. We're betting he doesn't have his own Festivus Pole, so we are sending him one (two states away). Naturally it has to be a Portable Festivus Pole, suitable for shipping and thus also suitable for celebrating Festivus even if you're away from home. How can I get one of these marvelous Portable Festivus Poles, you ask? It's simple, my friends. Simply detach a telescoping antenna from an old set of rabbit ears and voila! you have a Portable Festivus Pole. NO TINSEL!

Posted by: Cheryl | December 08, 2004 at 09:20 AM

That is SO AWESOME!

Posted by: Jennifer | December 08, 2004 at 12:22 PM

Thank you very much! :::bowing:::

Posted by: Cheryl | December 08, 2004 at 03:10 PM

On Festivus Eve, it's only proper to gather with those who have come up short, and sit around the Festivus Pole and recall Festivi past. Feats of Strength to follow tomorrow!!!

Posted by: Duncan | December 22, 2004 at 11:32 AM

Heheh. Pre-programmed Festivus post to go up tomorrow morning...not as thorough as past ones, but oh well.

Posted by: Jennifer | December 22, 2004 at 03:22 PM

My favorite part of Festivus is the "Airing of Grievances" while sitting around the dinner table. Typical of real American life, wouldn't you say?

Posted by: david | December 23, 2004 at 07:28 PM

Happy Festivus to all! What a great site!! I can't think of a better Holiday since the commercialism of Christmas has ruined it for me. I was discussing this Holiday with my wife last week and like a sign from beyond, I happened onto this site on the very day of Festivus!!! Now I just need to get my aluminum pole! Another Festivus Miracle!!! I have no takers on the Feat of Strength, though. Maybe next year....

Posted by: Dano | December 23, 2004 at 07:59 PM

We had a Festivus Concert at the local high school. We had several different groups performing a variety of music. We are th e Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps. We had a "standstill" performance (no marching). There were jazz combos, a madrigal choir, new age minstrel group, and 3 different brass groups. It was great fun but no Festivus pole that I remember. We did air a few grievances, tho!

Posted by: Nanci | December 23, 2004 at 09:06 PM

We had a Festivus Concert at the local high school. We had several different groups performing a variety of music. We are the Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps. We had a "standstill" performance (no marching). There were jazz combos, a madrigal choir, new age minstrel group, and 3 different brass groups. It was great fun but no Festivus pole that I remember. We did air a few grievances, tho!

Posted by: Nanci | December 23, 2004 at 09:07 PM

We had a Festivus Concert at the local high school. We had several different groups performing a variety of music. We are the Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps. We had a "standstill" performance (no marching). There were jazz combos, a madrigal choir, new age minstrel group, and 3 different brass groups. It was great fun but no Festivus pole that I remember. We did air a few grievances, tho!

Posted by: Nanci | December 23, 2004 at 09:07 PM

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