What's Going On

Quotes

  • Parasite Unseen:
    "All culture is a cover for secretively monstrous behavior. Particularly the nuclear family."
  • Dr. Horrible:
    "The whole world is a mess, and I just want to rule it."
  • Wide Lawns:
    People often comment about my outrageous life. "People who sort of even know me in real life sometimes express disbelief until the people who really do know me confirm to them that it's all true. People who don't know me at all usually think I make all this crap up. The funniest part of this to me is that there is so much that I actually don't write about that is about a hundred times crazier than the stuff I actually do write about. If you all only knew. That's all I have to say. If y'all only knew."
  • Em and Lo:
    "Decisions, decisions. Just roll the dice. Fate is going to do with you what she will anyway."
  • Stephenie Meyer:
    "You belong anywhere a good book is."
  • Heather Havrilesky:
    "Unfettered whining is a banana split for the motherfucking soul."
  • Kay Reindl:
    "There's no rule that says you have to be fulfilled doing a particular, socially acceptable thing."
  • Stephen Eley:
    "It's a strange thing to discover when you're an adult that you've been somewhat misadjusted to the world your entire life and didn't know it."
  • K.C. Cody:
    "If you can get past the occasional imbecile-induced bike folly and the fact that Davis seems to perpetually be in the path of some giant, bipolar tornado, you may come to realize that this city is a great place to live."
  • Wil Wheaton:
    "I see a bookshelf, filled with different books from different authors, all acting as portals to different worlds and different times. The author may give them birth, but it's the readers who keep them alive."
  • Tycho:
    "Some books contain the machinery required to create and sustain universes."
  • Kameron Hurley:
    "I like writing about characters who are drawn to each other but aren't necessarily good for each other. Nyx walks back into your life and you see everything you love destroyed, but some vital piece of you, something you can't name, something you didn't even know was missing, is somehow there again. Whole. Full. Like a missing piece of your heart that chokes you."
  • Taylor Swift:
    "I believe that love will find you when you're not looking for it. So I've been actively not looking for it for about three years now. I'll let you know how that works out for me."
  • Kethrai:
    "I found that writing for me was a thing of the hands--hands need to produce art--and whether it's written or made, it feeds the need to produce art."
  • Kameron Hurley:
    "When somebody loves you, they love you for everything you are, good, bad, butch, brutal, bad bowler. And I'm all of those things and a lot more. Pretending I'm not, hiding it, covering it up, pretending that *all* I want is the garden and the house and not the midnight fucking in Marrakech, is a lie. It's gutting half of myself. It's sacrificing one to get the other. I shouldn't have to sacrifice it. Those parts of myself should make each other stronger. Gutting one guts the other. I can't live a life that's half a person. I can't live half a life. Now how do I get the house and the garden and the fucking in Marrakech? This is the real question."
  • Pamela Ribon:
    "Love is a choice. I fully believe that. Also, I think it's controlled by the same part of the brain that makes you actively choose to pretend you don't know how the stove works. Choose wisely."
  • Anton Strout:
    “A lot of people ask me for advice on writing. To this I will clap my hands at them, and say “Write, monkey, write!”
  • Libba Bray:
    "I hope that within these roughly 2,000 pages is a tale about women searching for their place in the world, coming to terms with themselves, fighting for change, accepting their power, dealing with issues of friendship, family, responsibility, sexuality, and identity, struggling with fears and doubts, hope and longing, oppression and desire. I hope. And yet, it seems as if the prevailing sentiment is, The only thing that matters is the man/is having a man. Am I mistaken? Am I reading this incorrectly? I’m asking."
  • Ira Glass:
    "Why does my job exist? It exists because I willed it into existence. When the day goes badly, I can remind myself that I have asked for this job by name and thought to create this for myself, and I can only blame myself for the whole thing."
  • Jeremy Darling:
    "I'm Pluto. I'm cold, distant, and alone."
  • Gustavo Arellano:
    "Dude, I was a nerd from the day I was born. I was reading in kindergarten. I got humungous glasses that covered half of my face in second grade. I’ve been living the nerd life ever since."
  • Michael, "Burn Notice."
    "People with happy families don't become spies. A bad childhood is the perfect background for covert ops--you don't trust anyone, you're used to getting smacked around, and you never get homesick."
  • Madeleine L'Engle:
    "I sometimes think God is a shit--and he wouldn't be worth it otherwise. He's much more interesting when he's a shit."
  • ZachsMind:
    "Sometimes though, you don't get to choose what kinda fame you're gonna get or how much it'll cost ya."
  • Jane Espenson:
    "So here's what I think we need to do if we want to write a sci-fi or a fantasy show and give it appeal way beyond the normal boundaries of sci-fi/fantasy fandom. We need to start with an empty page of notebook paper, write "The Chosen One" across the top and start brainstorming. At least, that's what I plan to do."
  • Andrea Nemerson
    "Personally, I believe neither that you're attracting nutty people because you don't want nice ones nor that the universe will deliver someone really neato as soon as you deserve him or her. It would be nice if things worked out that equitably for everyone, but in my experience, the universe is kind of shiftless and lazy and just doesn't bother."
  • Elaine Hatfield:
    "When you are young, passion and hope are so strong that's it's almost impossible to stop loving someone. After you've been kicked around by life, however, you start to have a dual response to handsome con men: 'Wow!' and 'Arrrrrrgh!' It takes not will power but painful experience to make us wise."
  • Cary Tennis:
    "Be of service. Go where you can help. If you're an artist, be of service to your art; don't have it the other way around. You have to put aside your dreams of being a hotshot and learn to be useful. ... You step up everyday, get a nice clean hit, and you're done."
  • "prefer not to say:"
    "Being an old maid rocks. You don’t have to be pretty. You don’t have to have the same markers of social or financial success as couples feel pressured to have. You don’t have to have children but people are happy to lend theirs out for awhile. Your career options are wide open. You can finally wear comfortable shoes. Your furniture and your dishes don’t have to match. You are allowed to have eccentric hobbies. There is time for a quiet cup of coffee on a Saturday morning. You make your own travel plans. You can keep up with a much wider swath of friends. And I never wanted to get married until I met the man (and he existed) who would let me stay an old maid, even if we did get married. It hasn’t been easy (my future-in-laws think I am about to become a wife, and it has taken a lot of strategic deafness not to respond to those expectations) but it’s an interesting challenge and kind of fun with someone smart enough to give it a try. This isn’t a post to say, “Oh, honey, you just need to meet the right man.” Instead it’s a post to say — stay committed to being an old maid and happiness in the form that you need it will follow."
  • Piet Hein:
    "Whenever you're called on to make up your mind. And you're hampered by not having any. The simplest way to solve the dilemma you'll find, Is simply by flipping a penny. No, not so that chance shall decide the affair; As you're passively standing there moping. But as soon as the penny is up in the air, You'll suddenly know what you're hoping."
  • John Mayer:
    "I'm not normal by conventional social standards, and I'll never be, so maybe I should stop worrying and just embrace the insanity a bit."
  • Ethan Rayne, Buffy season 8 comic, #3:
    "You are always dreaming every dream you could dream all the time. Even when you're awake, a part of your brain is stirring that brew. Which one you choose to remember in the morning is based on wishes, anxieties... It's a vast and fascinating place. Everywhere you turn, a part of you."
  • Uhura:
    "People use the word “selfish” to insult women all the time-I think it’s because the essence of womanhood is selfless sacrifice- even to the detriment of themselves."
  • Yuhri:
    "Her weirdnesses have the quality of life in a trailer park during tornado season. Someone's shih-tzu just blew in through the window? Pfft. There's a Buick parked on the ceiling? Bah. Old man Parsnip just got blown right into the anal cavity of a standing cow? C'est la vie. Her life is managed in clusters of riot, interrupted by the occasional, errant moment of calm."
  • Dan Renzi:
    "Most women accept the fact that they can be, occasionally, somewhat crazy. I don't know any women who believe they are always handle situations with rational thought. They all know they slip off the deep end from time to time. It happens. But men? They really don't get it. They really think they are never wrong, what they want is what's best. Why wouldn't it be? It's what they want. Why shouldn't they have things their way? And it's there that lies the problem: men are inherently crazy because they don't think they're crazy at all. It's the definition of insanity, really."
  • Anonymous at Post Secret:
    "Oddly enough, she can handle having a lesbian daughter much better than one who is still single at 30."
  • LCG:
    "I am way more afraid of forgetting how to be happy alone than I am actually ending up alone."
  • Last words of Robert Anton Wilson:
    "Various medical authorities swarm in and out of here predicting I have between two days and two months to live. I think they are guessing. I remain cheerful and unimpressed. I look forward without dogmatic optimism but without dread. I love you all and I deeply implore you to keep the lasagna flying.
    Please pardon my levity, I don't see how to take death seriously. It seems absurd. "
  • Frank, in Little Miss Sunshine:
    "You know Marcel Proust?...French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh- he gets down to the end of his life... and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered- Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school- Those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that."
  • Richard Crawford:
    "In order to defeat your evil villain, you only need remember this: every problem can be solved with sufficient explosives."

« The Five Commandments of Valentine's Day. | Main | Another good point about the dreaded holiday. »

February 11, 2005

And that's even worse competition.

Speaking of having your love proven due to money spent on you, here's the horror that is the Texas homecoming mum. Oh dear lord, the pictures.

"You can see where this is going. In the pressure cooker enviroment of Texas high schools, one-upmanship with who could slap the most ribbons and shit on their mum spiralled quickly out of control. Also, since your boyfriend is the one who is to purchase your mum for you, this is training ground for the Diamond Olympics of adult womanhood. Yep, the bigger and more expensive your mum, the more lovable you are. There's a direct correlation.

My mum was roughly this big, though I didn't have anything as stupid as a teddy bear on it:
This means I was medium lovable. I was okay with being medium lovable, because to be truly lovable, Homecoming Queen level lovable, you had to let everyone know by parading around wearing something like this:

Yes, you tie it over your shoulders and behind your back.

If you think the adult pressures of Valentine's Day are difficult for single people to handle, imagine being the girl who had a small mum or no mum at all to wear to the Homecoming game."

Suddenly, I am so glad I am from California.

Even worse, check emjaybee in the comments:

"You guys don't know. Here's how it went down in my Arlington, TX high school.

One flower mum: Your boyfriend's cheap or your parents bought it for you.

Two flower mum: barely acceptable, especially if you made up for the lack of flowers by extra streamers.

3 flower mum: You were a popular girl/had a boyfriend who Loooved you. Or parents who "helped" him out so you wouldn't be unpopular. You could further enhance this by adding lights (yes: battery operated tiny christmas lights) to it.

Also, you preferably made your boyfriend wear a boyfriend mum. This was a garter belt decorated with a very small (carnation sized) flower and tiny accessories that matched your gigantic one, and he wore it pulled up on his right arm above the elbow, over his shirt. Preferably, it had your name on one of the ribbons, in glitter. Because he was yours."

Posted on February 11, 2005 at 02:01 PM in Feminist Chick Talk |

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