What's Going On

Quotes

  • Jennifer Finney Boylan:
    "The world is full of false hopes, most of them dumber than the hope of being transformed by love."
  • Hugh Macleod:
    “Good ideas come with a heavy burden; which is why so few people execute them. Few people can handle it.“


  • Fiona Glennane on meditation:
    “I want you to close your eyes and breathe deep. Picture a peaceful mountain stream. Can you do that? Picture yourself drowning the kidnapper in the stream.”
  • Sarah Haskins:
    "We used to just grow old and be spinsters. Now we have a lot of options: We can be spinsters or cougars."
  • The Doctor:
    "All that attitude, all that lip, 'cos all this time... you think you're not worth it. Shouting at the world 'cos no-one's listening. Well... why should they?"
  • Winter, the guy trying to visit all the Starbucks before they close:
    "Pointless though it might it be, a goal is a goal."
  • Carolyn Hax:
    Carlsbad, N.M.: How do I figure out what to be when I grow up? Carolyn Hax: I dunno, but it's easier if you grow up first, then figure it out. Otherwise you'll just change your mind when you get there.
  • Bobby Singer:
    "Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel GOOD? Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're SUPPOSED to make you miserable, that's why they're family!"
  • Dan Savage:
    "You want crazy frosting on sane cake."
  • fillyjonk on Susan Boyle:
    "What makes people stop laughing — or at least, what makes you stop caring if they do? The discovery that something about you is utterly remarkable."
  • Gregg Levoy:
    "Chaos is just going to throw on a tie-dye shirt and come to work with no pants on."
  • Carrie Fisher:
    "My mother always said to me, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, dear!” and I wanted to say, “Oh, okay! Then I won’t! I thought that it was a good thing to rough yourself up, but you say it’s not, so I’ll just stop! Thanks for the tip!”
  • deering:
    "Someone who wants to be a doctor or an engineer isn't told right off that bat that they are untalented, or impractical, or can't make it, ever. :P"
  • Jonathan Coulton:
    "This is the thing about the new landscape that drives everyone crazy: you can’t see inside the cow; you can only build one, feed it music, and wait for it to poop."
  • Andrew Ramer:
    "All life wobbles on this planet. Wobbles, or dances. As sometimes, when someone bumps into you on the dance floor, you turn to them with anger in your eyes. And sometimes, you turn to them and love stares back, and the bruise on your thigh was all worth it. So with Earth. It smiles, and rubs its hip. "When you understand fire, you no longer stick your hand in it, you contain it and cook with it. When you understand the wobble, you no longer fear it or hate it, you move with it, use it. And sometimes, when your life is a mess, when you've been in therapy for 57 years and you're still falling in love with the wrong person--stop blaming your parents or yourself. Stop and take a deep breath and say to yourself--I'm living on a world that wobbles on its axis. It has seasons and changes. And sometimes, what seems to be going wrong in my life isn't really a flaw in my nature. It's just that I haven't learned to wobble with the world yet. The Earth laughs at itself. Can you?"
  • Carolyn Hax:
    "Short description of a long process: Figure out the things that make you feel confident/fulfilled/energized; that give you a sense of purpose or accomplishment; that tap into your natural abilities and strengths; and that -don't- put you at the mercy of any one person, and orient your life around those. Often, this requires another step--concurrently or as a precursor--of reducing the role in your life of things that make you feel worthless/empty/exhausted; that require skills that don't come naturally; that feel like a waste of time; or that put you routinely at the mercy of others."
  • Kitty Norville:
    "People are always saying that to me--how can I possibly be a skeptic given what I am? Given how much I know about what's really out there, how can I turn my nose up at any half-baked belief that crosses my desk? Really, it's easy, because so many of them are half-baked. They're formulated by people trying to con other people and make a few bucks. The fact that some of this is real makes it even more important to be on our guard, to be that much more skeptical, so we can separate truth and fiction. Blind faith is still blind, and I try not to be."
  • Kitty Norville:
    "The supernatural world was like an onion. You peel back the layers, only to find more layers, on and on, hopelessly trying to reach the mysterious core. Then you start crying."
  • regicide is good for you:
    "Are ads even trying to sell anything anymore, or just keep us vaguely, constantly aware that there are generally things on sale somewhere nearby? I like this new model. People get paid to delight me, and I walk away still blissfully unaware of products."
  • Hanna Rosin:
    "One fleeting thing—an unearned pile of money, a one-night stand, a tattoo, a suddenly paralyzed teammate—can change your entire life. Accident and coincidence are more powerful than any God-driven holistic narrative."
  • B.J. Love (what a name, eh?):
    “People may think art is a waste of time because it’s not ‘goods’ that can be bought, sold and taxed, but down the road art is all we got. The only historical documents I've read from the 1860s are the Gettysburg address, a poetic speech, and Leaves of Grass and THAT is how I understand those times, and I think years from now, poetry will still be how we understand times, these time included.”
  • Seymour, "Burn Notice":
    "Don't argue with destiny. It will kick your ass."
  • NoStyleHere:
    "So I'm 48, good god man, and my experience is that every time you think life is finally starting to be less weird, it busts loose with a whole new *kind* of weird. Life ebbs and flows and changes and much of the joy of it is in its utter unpredictability."
  • Patricia Briggs:
    "As an author, I sometimes feel like the wicked witch. My job is to find someone happily minding their own business, and mess up their happy little lives until they're upset enough to get off their rump and go change something."
  • Elliot Bangs:
    "What the hell was I doing? I asked myself, more than once. But haven't you ever needed to follow a mystery past all the limits of common sense? Have you ever found yourself in a whole awful prison of a world in which every last familiar and sensible thing has finally come up hollow and pointless? Have you ever been left with nothing on which to stake all your hopes of transcendence, save one good leap into the abyss? It also suffices to say that the story would have ended here if it hadn't been for alcohol."
  • Elsa:
    For me it’s like being a horse… a thoroughbred. That "horse is born to run… pretty much that is why it is here. It can rest but the basic life is getting ready to run, running and then recovering from running. If you take a horse like that or a person like me and you tie them down, you are killing that horse. You are perverting nature. That horse is not going to thrive and God or the universe is going to be very pissed at you. He or it will also be pissed at the horse because what’s it doing standing there when it knows damned well it’s supposed to run?"
  • Carrie Fisher:
    "Now, keeping yourself impervious to mockery is a full time occupation. I’ve been working at it ever since I can remember."
  • Murdoc Niccals, The Gorillaz
    "Always be wary of people who use quotes." I don't know who said that."
  • flipside:
    "Following your heart through life is like following your feet across a piano."
  • The Doctor:
    "You want weapons? We're in a library. Books! Best weapons in the world. This room's the greatest arsenal we could have. Arm yourself."
  • Jessica Lovejoy:
    "You know what would be great? This totally impossible thing!"
  • D. Brian Burghart:
    "I’d like to be in love—if not with a person, then with a consuming new idea or project that will move me from the waiting for the next phase of my life to the real deal."
  • Anonymous:
    "If a cannibal can find someone to volunteer to be killed and eaten, surely our problems of finding the appropriate relationships to suit us are considerably more minimal."
  • Joss Whedon:
    "Honestly, it really is that little chaos factor. It's when the thing starts talking back to you. When you come up with something that is a little bit more than just a good reproduction of what was in the book, and somehow reflects you in a way that you didn't understand yourself: that's art."
  • Rasputin:
    "This is what has always bothered me about relationships. It’s never just you and your partner who get into one: It’s always you, your partner, and society. And that’s not a three-way I’m comfortable with."
  • Anonymous:
    It's funny how quickly your plans change from "changing the world and chasing your dreams" to "getting really fucking drunk."
  • Keith Olbermann:
    "You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of...love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don’t have to help it, you don’t have it applaud it, you don’t have to fight for it. Just don’t put it out. Just don’t extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don’t know and you don’t understand and maybe you don’t even want to know...It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person… Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too."
  • Lafayette from True Blood:
    "Ain't no freak gonna tell no other freak how to live."
  • Mitch Hedberg:
    "I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to figure out where they're going, and hook up with them later."
  • Cathal Morrow:
    "Two truths I didn’t realise until just now: 1. I’ve always had the sense that my life is moving towards some sort higher truth 2. It’s not going particularly well"

« For those who love Veronica Mars | Main | Bad book covers. »

March 06, 2005

Wickedly Perfect: blogging the show

Kimberly couldn't be happier to be back, she just couldn't. Mitch whines and bitches that it was a "one in a billion longshot chance" and that it won't reflect how she'll do in the rest of the competions and she wil be cut.

Joan shows up, disbands the teams, and now says we're here to create a star with personality. Now they all go to NYC for a makeover and screen test on the Early Show- demoing an item Martha-style with Hannah Storm. They'll knock out three after this. Ooooooh.

  • Heather will show how to make a handbag from scratch in 15-20 minutes. I'm impressed. Especially since it takes me freaking hours to sew anything.
  • Dawn's doing a tablescape (yawn). If one has any freaking art skills at all, I think you could do that one without help. Six-year-olds can put crap on the table. But yeah, she's a party planner, what else can she do, I guess.
  • Oh GOD, Kimberly will not fucking STOP with the ribbon flowers. Everybody likes ribbon flowers!  EXCEPT THE JUDGES WHO HELPED GET RID OF YOU THE FIRST TIME OR TWO YOU WENT UP TO THE ROCK GARDEN, that is. "Who doesn't like ribbon flowers? It speaks for itself. I can't imagine someone not liking ribbon flowers." Jesus H. Christ, woman! They are not all THAT and a bag of chips! I hate to second Mitch, but does she have any other skills to show off, or would she make ribbon flowers on a show every week?
  • Amy is doing "tie snakes"- turning ties into stuffed animals. Well, I like that one. Maybe not as impressive as the handbags, but still kinda cool.
  • Mitch is stringing cranberries on to wire for a cored apple candle holder with a cranberry bow. Or something like that, anyway. Kind of strange.

Mitch wants to strangle Kimberly or pitch her in front of a bus. No, really, he said that. He points out (as I just did) to Heather that Kimberly "went to the chopping block TWICE" for those ribbon roses, and she agrees with him. He also says, "That oughta go over like a fart in a church with the judges!"

Kimberly bitches that she went to the rock garden "10 out of 12 times?" and that she's "the girl who just won't die." Mitch is all, "Hey, I can get rid of her again."

Everyone gets in a limo and heads to NYC for their makeovers. Heather doesn't seem to like "orangey, cakey" makeup too much and seems to have fired her makeup artist, who gives up on her. She goes into the bathroom and removes it and does her own makeup, saying that she looked like a drag queen. Before and after photos are shown. Amy and Mitch look no different with makeovers, Kimberly and Dawn have new great styled hair, Heather... shouldn't curl her hair. YIKES. Though to be honest, I think Heather's hair texture seems to kind of make her head look bad no matter what she does with it. The makeup...eh, no difference. Girl just looks odd no matter what she does with her head.

Screen test time! Wow, Dawn raided Hannah's wardrobe, because they are wearing the same damn shirt. Same style, same exact color. Hannah squees when Mitch points this out to her and calls Dawn "twinsy." It seems like Dawn gets to go first because of that, even if the show claims it was "random" selection.

During the screen test, Dawn and Hannah squee over each other's shirts again. The two come off as rather frantic and talking over each other somehow. Like they're too good of friends. Dawn natters on and on and on, at which point I realize that hearing her voice so much (something that hasn't happened before on this show) starts grating. Wow, a tablescape takes about 20 seconds to make! Yeah, that was hard, I so needed someone to show me how to do that.

The judges get to talk- Candace liked it. Um, why? David the stylist thinks Dawn needs to pull her hair back. Candace notes that Dawn's voice is annoying, or as she puts it, you need to tone it down. Bobby tells her to "worry about the ending." Frankly, I'm surprised they're even impressed by that. On a scale of 1-5 I'd give her a 3, but someone else is going to be better.

Mitch is up. "This decoration has gotten me through manymany hard times." A freaking candleholder? Huh? Mitch has a prehalfmade cranberry stringer for Hannah to demo. Damn, they don't get too much time on this thing, do they?

David likes the project, but thinks it's shaky and that Mitch has a flat voice. Dawn's too hyper, Mitch is too flat. Hmmmm. Mitch wants to be neutral when he teaches. Candace is all, "Um, no, you have to have personality the whole way through." Bobby seconds the lack of enthusiasm. Afterwards, Mitch says something I always think about judges- "They pulled their typical 'you did fabulous, and then you sucked.'" Mitch is pissed that Bobby claimed he wasn't paying attention- well, I would be too, but that could also be Bobby saying a more tactful "Um, you bored the crap out of me." Which I think it was.

Amy's up. Hannah is quite amused by the idea and says this is the most original idea. I like how she has one on display in a basket like it's being snake charmed. They giggle over the spilling beans when stuffing the snake. (Well, shit happens, and EVERYONE spills crap like that.) The judges conspicuously look unhappy and start writing notes when that happens. So far I think she's the best.

David thought it was great, great energy. Bobby didn't like her craft and asked if she'd ever practiced doing it before (of course she had). Argh. Candace claims it's fun but a kids' project "took away some of the weight of it." Amy says she was trying to show her diversity. Poor Amy, I think only one of the three liked it. Amy claims she was trying to show personality more.

Kimberly's up, all poufy hair. She yanks the wire in the ribbon and lets Hannah do it- that makes Hannah very happy, until she breaks her wire.

Candace compliments Kimberly's looks, and says "I am the last person who would be interested in making flowers out of ribbon," but says she thinks she could do it after watching this. Kimberly is all, "Okay." Bobby and David loved it, David swoons on the looks in particular. Sigh. Gah. This was the top thing?! And yet they had NO negatives. Kimberly reports this back in the green room- I'm so sure Mitch is thrilled to hear it. He's falling into the couch and faking sleep. You sore loser.

Heather's turn. Oh dear god, she's in all pink sweater and looks like a 1950's poodle. Aieeeeeeeeee. The denim skirt-turned-handbag is cute, but the pink and the Flashdance neckline and the bowscarf in the hair...yeah, I think she loses on outfit alone once Candace and David saw that. I like her demo, though voicewise she's probably akin to Mitch in the "neutral, not perky." David is frowning during this, but Candace perks up. Bobby remains neutral. I kind of want to do that purse now.

Bobby likes that she showed demo purses, and that Hannah loved the demo purse "ending." Candace says she had a problem with the craft- "that it dominated you. You had no time, it took so long to explain it that your personality didn't come out." David bitches about the Flashdance/wife beater/bra strap outfit. Heather doesn't really know what to say other than, "Okay." Bobby, back to nitpicking the craft, wants to know why there wasn't a sewing machine on there. Hannah agrees that there should have been a machine.

Speaking as a sewer, I think it would have taken WAY TOO LONG to set up machines for two people to sew on in a five-minute segment, and that's why I don't think Heather did it. Let's face it, if your thread decides to bugger itself mysteriously while you're sewing, that's five minutes just fixing the fucker. Five minutes of really dull television. Poor Heather.

Everyone angsts in the green room, most of which is predictable and I can't be arsed to blog about it.

Everyone hates Amy and Heather, everyone loves Kimberly. Mitch and Dawn are in the middle, with split decisions going on. Bobby loves Dawn, everyone else is all, "What did she do?"

Verdict time. Mitch is so full of himself. Everyone lines up on stage for the firing squad. Kimberly is first choice (sigh). She knows it's her during the blurb. Well, everyone does. Number two is...well, they don't say, they just say that Heather sucked and kick her out. Are they picking down the line? Next rejection is Amy, so I guess so. She just doesn't have "that star quality." Now we're going to drag it the fuck out as to who we're rejecting by talking about the both of you at once... And they pick Mitch to go on.

Oh god, Mitch versus Kimberly. Oh, the pain. Oh, watching Mitch trying to hide his feelings during this one is hilarious, though. Mitch and Kimberly sidehug painfully. They go back to the green room and flop on the couches. "That was a really surreal moment," Mitch says. Fuck, yeah. Kimberly agrees. The losers (minus Amy for some reason) to congratulate them. Amy is pissed at their making comments about her flying under the radar ("I consider that a strength") and saying that she had no star quality. Um, I hate to say it, Amy, but people who fly under the radar don't usually make people want to watch them on television.

Kimberly is all, "See Mitch, I have skills!" Mitch brags that he's never been to the chopping block and he'll send Kimberly there again. Same old, same old.

Next hour: Mitch and Kimberly create their own fancyass parties/"media empire" or something. Which my tape totally cut off, so I can't blog about it. And I second the folks at Too Much Free Time about the injustice of it all.

Posted on March 06, 2005 at 10:53 PM in Reality TV |

Comments

I just heard about this - http://www.stylenetwork.com/ssms-site/style.do?showId=6194&showFeatureId=d9e82755d185645251672e5bafc425&contentItemId=homeContentItem_d9e82755d185645251672e5bafc425 (Craft Corner Deathmatch)- are you going to be watching? I think it starts this week...

Posted by: Shannon | March 08, 2005 at 09:33 AM

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