What's Going On

Quotes

  • Graham Joyce:
    "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
  • Dan Harmon:
    "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
  • Nora Ephron:
    "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
  • Lord Vetinari, Unseen Academicals:
    "One day I was a young boy... when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. Even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued... As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and the pink roes spilled out much to the delight of the baby otters. Mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that is when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."
  • McAlvie
    "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
  • Jenny Zhang:
    "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
  • Joe Queenan:
    "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
  • LogicalDash:
    "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
  • Keith Richards:
    "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
  • Caitlin Moran:
    "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly. Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing. "I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
  • Carolyn Hax:
    "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
  • David Simon:
    "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
  • Joe Queenan:
    "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
  • Dan Savage:
    "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
  • the painkiller:
    "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
  • Steve Jobs:
    "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
  • Apple:
    "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
  • Miss Manners:
    "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
  • Stephen Tobolowsky:
    "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
  • James Bulls:
    "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
  • SOMEBODY???
    "May the bridges I burn light the way"
  • Amy Argetsinger:
    "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
  • Cary Tennis:
    "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
  • Mark Morford:
    "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
  • Charlie Jane Anders:
    "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
  • Roger Ebert:
    "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
  • Myca:
    "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
  • Lady Gaga:
    "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
  • Dianna Agron:
    "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
  • John Mayer:
    "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
  • Vanessa, Something Positive:
    "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
  • Anonymous:
    “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
  • Sugar:
    "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
  • Wide Lawns:
    "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
  • Anonymous reporter:
    “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
  • Anne Johnson:
    "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
  • Carl Mayer:
    "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
  • John Scalzi:
    "In retrospect, it’s a little weird to think that my entire future was falling into place as I obliviously tucked into the El Presidente chimichanga platter, but of course, that’s life for you — the most important days of your existence don’t always announce themselves in obvious ways."
  • Tart and Soul:
    "Indeed, love comes whether we have braced ourselves for it or not. But commitment offers a choice, tapping us on the shoulder to say, “sorry to bother you. Is this a good time?”
  • J.C. Hutchins:
    "I was Wanky McWankerton, in love with words I’d yet to write. I did this for nearly two years. If every sperm is sacred, God wasn’t irate with me — he was effing thermonuclear."

« The confessions of Nacho Libre. | Main | Scent of a woman. »

March 09, 2006

Comments

John

It sucks no matter how you do it, just rip the bandade off less painful for you and her

me

this sounds like a girl who has had her heart broken one to many times

meh

I've recently been dumped.

Same basic concept.
It made me cry hopelessly just reading it. :P

Ace

Thank you for this, I am currently thinking about dumping a girl and this could help me.

bran

do u give them a reason y u broke up with her or does it matter??

yeah/

ummm yeah, i need to dump a girl, but i'm only in 7th grade...

Jon

I'm going to have to do this soon, and I hate it. My girl lives the other side of the world and it's gonna have to be by phone, as I'm not spending thousands just to say 'see ya'. I just hope my balls are big enough...

bad position

I have been dating a girl with a disability for 7 months now. She has been living with me for almost 3 months and I am finding out that her disability is much more significant than when we were just dating. She has been married twice and I really love her, but her disability is really getting me down and worse, it is a progressive disorder. I feel terrible about it since I DO love her very much, but I feel her disability is just too much to bear.

Further complicating the situation is an ex-wife of 18 years that wants me back and two children (ages 17 and 11) do not like my current girl.

I still have a little feeling left for my ex, but my girl and I have had some wonderful times too.

Any advice is really appreciated!

Jennifer

bad position: Progressive disorders DO bring you down. I lived with that happening to my dad for ten years and well, it's not a situation that gets better. (I also have an ill cousin who's been married four times, I gather her husbands had the same problem as you.) I was totally trapped in it, but you are not, though I hate to say that. I'm not advocating dumping her, but it definitely will not get easier on you, and the longer you are in the more obligated you are going to feel. Maybe you should find a counselor to talk to to see if you will be able to handle that long-term? But if you're already kind of losing it after seven months, it might be better to get out sooner than later. It's horrible to "dump someone for their disability, they can't help it", and yeah, you will probably feel guilty forever. But being mad and resentful of them for being sick, and feeling trapped and depressed, and/or taking it out on them because you feel so awful and unable to cope, isn't great either.

Everyone always told me to read "The Dive From Clausen's Pier" (about being stuck with an ill boyfriend, though this wasn't so much my issue), but I never could bear to. I don't know if you'd want to either, but it might offer some perspective.

Don't know what to say about your kids (though lots of them don't like who their parents date anyway), but if you're not that into your ex any more, maybe you should think about that separately from your current girlfriend, as in, would you only be getting back together with her for the sake of the kids, would you want the ex back if you were still single, etc.

I wish you luck.

Ngoso Shelembe

It is very difficult to dump a partner who truly loves you and can do anything to save your relationship. Worse if the couple has been in love for a long time. How to deal with this situation?

Ngoso Shelembe

What if I try to ignore her feelings by avoiding her, and she does not notice anything? How can I let her come to the realisation that it is over without hurting her? Many thaughts like she might commit suicide, can change my decision of dumping her. What can I do to make her realise that it is over?

Ngoso Shelembe

How to tell her that her skirt does not fit, when she has already bought it, and when she is wearing it, you feel like shooting your head and die?

Ngoso Shelembe

It is not difficult to dump a partner who has no plans for your future.

Ngoso Shelembe

How to tell her that her skirt does not fit, when she has already bought it, and when she is wearing it, you feel like shooting your head and die? Ngoso Shelembe, ukzn, Edgewood campus

matty

ive been going out with a girl for a year and a half, started great, but now all she wants to do is tailor my life out to her plans, every time we see each other she talks about our future kids names and bridesmaid dresses, ive tried talking to her but she's just plain not listening and completely overides the conversation, Im thinking about knocking on wood, this information could really help, when will someone write an book with stuff like this in, 90% of kids grow up without parents around to teach this stuff, id really like some literation lol.

Adam Samuel

u know ur stufff but im trying to dump this girl and im 13 but listen im weak and i cant take it when she cries

Adam Samuel

i tried it 3 times so plz sum1 help me out

ARthur

Im in a month old relationship wiht this girl. Shes kinda over weight. I thought that it wouldnt be a problem, since im good looking for both of us. But thats the problem, i have a huge reputaion and im afraid that people are going to say things that will hurt her eventually since it has happened to me already. I want to break up with her, but shes sssoooo into me. I think i lost my attraction to her. Anyway, ive tried the "silent torture" thingy and she still doesnt get the point. Now i just want to drop the bomb! Its going to be bad...but i just want to get over and done with it...

Lance M

I've been dating a girl for a while, but I want to dump her. Most of this info worked well, but I'm in 7th grade lol, so the drunk dial???? Don't think I'm doin that

Machom

I just dumped a girl and she insists on being best friends. I know this request completely breaks rule #4, but is it really impossible to do this? She is still very in love with me and I am not in love at all. Can someone please give me some advice?

Ned

This is a bible of things I have done wrong in past dumpings. LOVE IT!!

rude boy

BULLSHIT

fuck her then tell shes ugly and a bad fuck ! best way

Matt

I usually just say

"You and me is over and there aint a thing you can do about it"

kinda like a bandaid.

heartthrobbinsad

Good advice. I am in a month old relationship too and she is always on about how so many guys have hurt her before. She's a sophmore and i'm a senior and she wants to be together forever. Plus her friends are really aggressive with "You better keep your F***ING snake in the cage", "I'm not gonna see her get hurt again". Like I wanna rip her head off you know? I don't feel the relationship is going anywhere and just want to tell her how I feel. Cuz that's what the relationship is about right? Sharing the love with one another? it's not working, so it's gotta end.

Mr. Estavon

wow. advice really helped. the mental torture was what I thoght was the nice way and no... and she practically went down the list herself..lol
Anyhow. whew..
On to the next.

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