More on churches, bad and good and bad again.

Someone over at Pandagon mentioned that the Five Churches experiment is over, so I went to go look at that again.

"Until we can add Jesus to our facebook and look at his crazy spring break photos the use of internet for church services needs to be rethought because the last thing we need is more fanatical preaching coupled with antisocial behavior."

"The outfits astounded me! I saw denim miniskirts with leggings, jeans (some ripped), golf shirts, and this really funky silk caftan-thing on a woman not too far in front of me. I started thinking, “Wow, the only difference between this and a rock concert is that they told me to stand up!”

I always get irritated by this topic as far as Christianity is concerned. Why is it that I should not seek out possessions and money, but the church is permitted to do just that? Does taking 10% of every congregant’s income not count as seeking out money?  Why should the institution be rich, and the congregation not? If you really believe you should be living the aesthetic life led by Christ and his apostles, why aren’t you doing it? If money and possessions aren’t important, why aren’t you meeting to discuss the meaning of Christ’s ideas and life in the local park? Notwithstanding the need to broadcast to your rather large congregation, and obviously you’d have to come up with a solution during the winter months, but really: why the son et lumiere? I found the medium more than a bit out of whack with the message."

"In fact, once the group began to fall into episodes of being overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues, laying on hands, and ministering relief and healing in the name of Jesus, I became really nervous. I put away my notebook, and told Taylor that I was feeling at risk. It was completely irrational, that feeling, I know. Heaven only knows what I thought they would do! I just got the sudden immense impression that my non-participation was being seen and judged. I felt like I was too obviously an outsider to the faith.
Keep in mind, I have seen a lot - I have been in pagan circles, I have attended Santerian tambours, I have been to 12-tribes ceremonies - none of those times ever felt scary. This did. It felt out of control and dangerous."

"Frenzy ensued as a mass of people began to lay their hands upon the woman followed by what I can only describe as faith inducted seizures resulting in one mass of bodies convulsing in the name of the lord.
I had heard of all these theological events before and had watched a few documentaries about them in some of my anthropology classes, but never did I imagine witnessing them in person. Speaking in tongues, laying on of hands and divine manifestations in themselves might not be a terrible thing. If you believe in these things then I have little right to attack you. However what bothered me about this service was the lack of control. The congregation was allowed free reign over the whole of the building and things escalated quickly and without warning. I was expecting at any time for someone to fling open the doors and unleash this ravenous mob to pillage the countryside. Most likely the closest I’ll come to being in a zombie attack. Had the pastor or anyone for that matter had more control over the crowd, and if these things were done in an orderly fashion perhaps this week’s blog might not read like a bad horror novel. Non-sensible speech and at times horrible wailing… the true service had now reared its ugly head. The tension ripped through the crowd like wild fire and soon there was unbearable tension in the back of my neck. Fear, panicky fear like I have never experienced in an auditorium of people, pupils dilated, cold sweat, on edge. I hid my note pad as fast as I could because the last thing I wanted was to draw attention to myself but I knew I already stuck out like a sore thumb. I looked over at Sabrina in wide eyed confusion and I could see the terror reciprocated. Too dramatic? You decide.

After that service there is no way anyone could possibly be in their right mind. I couldn’t function for the rest of the day, had to let my mind reboot, re-install the operating system (for all you computer people out there)."

"The Jesus I see in the bible seems to be like someone I would want to hang around with." (Hear, hear, sez I.) "You know, someone I could talk to and be open with, go canoeing or hiking with, or just sit and have a drink with whilst eating wings–kind of like my dad and a friend mixed together. When I read the bible I read about how much he loved and how everything he did was based in love–something I aspire to be, though the reality is I blow it more often than not.
In church I hear about a different Jesus. Some say he’s a big sugar daddy, just waiting for me to ask for or a big house or car. Some talk about how perfect you need to be in order to be part of his inner circle (funny how I read about him hanging out with whores, diseased outcasts and freaks). Many talk about the rules, but all he ever said was love God and others. Others do nothing but try to get all they can from God (More Lord, FIRE!, Gimme, gimme)–the Jesus I read about (the one christians try to emulate) was always giving of himeself for others. kind like one of my heroes, Mother Theressa.
In chuch we argue over theology–always the childish “I’m right and you’re wrong” stupidity, and if we can’t agree, well we’ll just start our own churchand do it my way, thank you very much. In the Bible Jesus just asked tus to love the unlovable.
I just recieved and e-mail from a friend of mine in Youth for Christ who sat with a homeless teen alone in a hosptial, while the teen died after attempting suicide. He’s burried 40 teens in 20 years. All of these kids were unlovable street rats who most church people try to avoid (even in my home town when YFC does a trip church paople ask if any drop in kids will be there. if the answer is yes, they won;t let there kids go)These are the kids the Jesus of the bible would have hung out with. i guess the church Jesus doesn;t like to get his hands too dirty."

"I was most impressed when he said, by way of introduction, “We believe it’s important to do things the way that Jesus actually did. Jesus gave the Good News to the poor first; that’s where we start.”
Sanctuary is a church - but also an outreach centre to women, the homeless, alcohol and drug addicts; a vibrant community; an employment centre; a small medical office; an art/music/drama programme; a support group, and much much more. In the words of Greg, “We consider everything that we do out of this building to be ‘church’. And the people that come here, they may not describe it as being in a church setting, but that’s how we see it.”
I can’t tell you how absolutely refreshing it was to hear those words. I knew I was in for a rare vision - real Christians in action. I wasn’t wrong!

This place is like the cup that Indy chose. Amidst all the pomp and circumstance of the Christian world out there, here lies a simple, honest place that really means it.

I said to Taylor at one point, “Do you see how all the power in this ceremony is coming from the people, and not the preacher?” It was beautiful."

"Once again I was floored, for close to a month now I have been told of all the wonderful things the Christian church provides without any physical evidence of its truth, but here it is, in the flesh. I have to smile, we have traveled to the city’s massive churches where thousands worship and yet we find what we are looking for in a turnout of 35 on Sunday. We were also told of a second building where the church owns a woodworking shop so that they can teach useful skills in order to employ some of its followers."

"Although there was one clear message that I did understand, the message that everyone understands… Money makes the world go round, and apparently it even applies if you created the world. The only underlying current that was evident throughout the whole service was that the more you give, and it was emphasized monetarily, the more God will love you. The pastor even made a comment about how putting your hand in the collection bucket was a way in which to physically touch god. I am no scripture buff but I know that isn’t right. I was disgusted. But someone has to pay for the pastors face lifts, might as well be the poor black community, they don’t have enough money for Jesus to love them anyway."

"There was nothing charity about that place. And yes you are doomed to an eternity of damnation because you helped out a friend instead of paying for the prayer palace pastors next round of margaritas."

"He got up after the culture-fest, and gave a talk that was full of alligator-tears-emotion but really didn’t have direction… at least, until he got around to asking for money. Among the gems was when he said, “..and when I put my hand into that bucket, I put my hand to the Sovereign, I touch Him.”
I think I laughed out loud. And then I saw that their collection unit was not a plate, but actually a bucket, about the size of a planter… as it passed us by I thought, what a disgusting misuse of faith. These are people who really believe, and they happily give this monstrosity of a church their tithing, and what for?! So that the fake palm trees can look slightly less fake?  I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen a place where it was more obvious that the congregants’ money was being completely misused. Flash and lights does not a good service make. This is a congregation in one of the poorest communities in Toronto. This is a community that could really benefit from a church that supported them, instead of the other way around.

You’re saying that a person can play God with the life of another and that God will be A-OK with it in the end. That’s a huge statement on a theological level. I don’t think you’ve thought out the consequences. And since you are a spiritual leader, and people look to you to have reasoned out your spiritual arguments, and will likely base some of their life decisions on what you say, you need to take some responsibility.
Suffice to say I found the sermon scary and offensive. Well-delivered, but the underlying message was disturbing.

It felt like all the warm fuzzy feelings of Sanctuary were sandblasted out of me to make way for this loud and noisy debacle. The only saving grace was that the people were honestly friendly - they walked around shaking hands and saying good morning like they really meant it. To those lovely people, I say: check out another church. These wackos don’t deserve you."

"It all struck me as visualization lessons for Christians. In fact, I would argue that if you took out all of the faith messages, Joel Osteen would be selling nothing more than “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. He talks about how words have creative power over our lives, and that we can produce the effect we want if only we “speak words of victory” over our lives. He talked about releasing your burdens to God, and letting God take them over.
I must say that in my notes at this point, I wrote: “I haven’t heard this much repetition since I accidentally watched an episode of the Teletubbies”. It’s true, the man’s pattern of speech is repeat, repeat, repeat. He would say the same phrases over, using them differently, but repeating. It felt like indoctrination.
More music, and this time the lyrics started showing more of the tell-tale guilt. Then Joel’s mother got up and told a story of how she overcame cancer. Again, faith-based healing. I won’t knock it because it often means healing where nothing else will work. But let me just say that attributing that healing solely to God overlooks the tremendous fight that the human being had to put up. Faith gives us the strength to fight, and I doubt any god would want to take the whole credit for something so noble on the part of the individual."

I started hearing a voice somewhere in the back of my head, saying he’s after something. You don’t set a world-tour of this magnitude just to sell positive thinking. You can write books to do that - and he has written many books. Despite my intial pleasure at the positive, upbeat, you-control-your-life message, it all suddenly seemed too programmed, too predictable.
Joel talked next about how God works behind the scenes in our lives. You must have faith and be full of hope, because God is secretly working to put you where He wants you. Joel had never wanted to preach, you see. That was his Dad’s gig. He helped run the radio and TV programmes, but he was not the ministering type. And yet, despite never having been to seminary, when his Dad died, he felt the urge rise in him to do just that. To take on the family mantle, as it were.
This is where I got upset. I’m not saying you have to go to seminary to be a priest - heaven knows that men do not create priests, the gods do. Anyone who says you need two bishops and  a cardinal to make a servant of God is a fool. BUT - the art of being a priest is not just to minister a message, but to minister comfort and healing in times of crisis and grief. The counselling aspect that ought to be on a closer level, perhaps one-to-one, perhaps in support groups. But can he honestly say that he feels that personal connection with his congregation when they are 16,000 strong? When they’re 40,000 strong? What he is doing is selling life-counselling, in the name of God, and selling it en masse. These people may not be able to afford a life-coach or a therapist, but Joel sells it to them in a more affordable package and they lap it up. All in the name of faith.
What I’m saying is - if you want to preach, please go ahead. But do not pretend that by preaching visualization and prosperity-teachings and the power of positive thinking, that you are preaching the Jesus message. You’re not.

Joel, dude, if Jesus ever does come back, I’ll be the first to accept my lot and line up for Hell, but first I’m sticking around to watch what he has to say to you and your ilk. That would make my eternity of burning worth every last little second. Sorry to say it, but I think you and I would be closer bunkmates in eternity than you would like to think."

"At nearly every place we went to, I was struck by how overwhelmingly guilty people felt, or were being asked to feel. Yes, I understand Christian theology - you are in a place of sin, and despite all of your sins, Christ still stood up and said “yep, I’m gonna take it. These folks are worth it.”

I guess I just find, all too often, that the Christian world is consumed with feeling bad and sinful, instead of saying “Hey, OK, I’m a sinner - I know it. But I’m trying. And I’m trying by honestly living and loving with a devout heart. I am trying to walk every step and breathe every breath in honour of You. So let’s You and me work together to make things right.”
You’d be amazed how forgiving the gods are. I don’t know one of them who ever told their children they were unworthy, or who ever turned them away. Never forget that gods do not behave like the men and women who stand behind pulpits raining guilt and terror down on the pews.
Remember: man made religion. The gods need no interpreter. If you are a part of the divine creation, then are you not part of the message? Are you not part of the meaning? Are you not part of the vibrant, thrumming heartbeat of the universe which is the Source of all things?
And if you really think all that, how could you not make your greatest praise the act and art of living joyfully?"

"Give back to the community. I can’t stress it enough; I saw nothing but take, take, take straight from the pockets of the poor and downtrodden. It must end. The people in the cheaper seat can’t be clapping their hands while everyone else just rattles their jewelry, share the wealth. A church should not make any money, if a church is in the green at the end of the year it has failed. That’s the bottom line or else it is stealing plain and simple."