The Worst Colleges In America

"This year, U.S. News & World Report announced that their new college rankings system would involve "substantial changes in methodology." And now, after much hyperventilating, the 2008 results are finally in.
We'll save you some time: Penn jumps from seventh to fifth! Dartmouth gets squeezed out of the top ten! Identifying America's best colleges is about as exciting and useful as naming your favorite luxury sedan (Audi). For the millions of students whose SAT results place them south of Swarthmore, identifying the schools to avoid at all costs
seems like a far more valuable service. And so we present Radar's exhaustive, semi-scientific guide to the most substandard colleges in America."

Best comments:

"Worst of the Big Ten: Michigan State University (East Lansing) It's not surprising that this hard-drinking football school hasn't made it to the Rose Bowl since 1988: Much of its student body seems to be in jail. More than 1,000 students were arrested for drug and alcohol offenses in 2005, along with another 1,224 perps in the crime-ridden city. Mix MSU's licentious ways with notoriously high acceptance rates and low SAT scores, and you get the school ranked dead last among the Big Ten.
"If I hear 'show your tits' one more time I'm going to scream—I got 'em and I ain't showin 'em to you bozos," complains a recent graduate on Students Review.
The student body doesn't take losing well. Following the Spartans' 1999 loss in the Final Four, thousands of students took to the streets of East Lansing to work out their rage on public property. The drunken rioters managed to burn couches, mattresses, and two cars in a 25-foot fire before being dispersed with tear gas."

"Worst Trust-Fund-Baby College: Bennington College (VT)
Notable Course: "SHHH! The Social Construction of Silence," a class focused on breaking down the classification of silence as an absence of sound and "establishing it as a presence." Or, the class where you sleep off your hangover.
School Pride: As one Students Review poster puts it, "Unless you value an extremely isolated environment with the lamest town in the world around you, self-absorbed pretentious hippies, a very 'white' homogeneous campus, and a lack of a wide range of courses in one discipline, do not come to Bennington College."
Fun Fact: The number of bird species on campus (121) is more than the number of black (10), Hispanic (18), international (19), Asian (14), and American Indian (1) students combined."

"Worst Ivy League University: Cornell University (NY)
Raw Data: Of all the Ivies, Cornell has the lowest incoming SAT scores, the highest acceptance rate (27 percent), and the lowest academic satisfaction among students, which makes it America's Best Safety School.
School Pride: "I haven't overheard a single intellectual conversation in three years, unless it was between Indian or Asian students," writes an architecture major on Students Review."

"Worst Christian University: Liberty University (VA)
Notable Course: Christian Womanhood IV. Because keeping your mouth shut is too rich a subject for just three levels of study.
Fun Fact: Kudos to Falwell for naming the fervently anti-gay university's football team the Flames."

Worst Party School: (Tie) California State University, Chico; San Diego State University While Chico is the most notorious party college on the planet—69 students were arrested on St. Patrick's Day two years ago—on average, a full 15 percent of them actually manage to graduate in four years. At San Diego State, a paltry 14 percent are able to accomplish this goal. Both schools deserve special recognition for high-level achievement in the field of depravity and general disinterest in scholastic pursuits.
Fun Facts: The forensics team had its 2006 season canceled after members were caught doing coke on school-sponsored trips. Last year, Phi Kappa Tau was suspended for using Chico coeds in hardcore pornographic movies that were filmed in their frat house and then sold on the Internet. The festivities included a game called "pussy ring toss," the objective of which is to hook a ring over a dildo, which is held in a woman's vagina."