Holiday letters and Carolyn Hax chat

(Washington Post.) It just got really funny...

"Holiday Letters 2007: So, last night I opened a holiday card from a friend -- not my bestest bestest friend, but someone I care about and whose company I really like sharing -- that had one of those "2007 recap" kinda letters in it. And it was clever and kind of cute, but it also kind of read to me like this: 2007 sucked, was totally boring, I didn't do anything good, and no I'm still not married, so don't ask. (She led with that one, actually.) She is one of those people with a witty/sardonic sense of humor, so maybe she really was trying to be funny, (and, hopefully, finds the whole bit funny) but it left me a bit "cold" and wanting to call and ask if she was all right. However, the tone also made me feel like that might be the last thing she wants (an outpouring of sympathy for a life she thinks is just fine, but other people don't and are driving her nuts?) I'm not sure. It was weird. Should I say anything? Or just call to say "hi" and not say anything?"

"Carolyn Hax: I'm going with the last one. Call to say hi."

"Mother of all Christmas Letters: A few years ago we received a card that was addressed to the previous owner of our house. After a month or so of sitting around our house waiting for us to forward it (although not sure how we'd do that) we finally just opened it. The writer talked about how her two year old son had "stunk" for a few weeks and they finally brought him into the doctor, who found a rotting pea stuck way up in his nose. Just one part of the letter with many other of the same type of things (but not to the same level) and sent with no level of irony or sarcasm whatsoever.
I mean, who would honestly write that in a holiday letter? But, it made our holiday...."

"Carolyn Hax: And now mine. Thanks."

"I love holiday newsletters: We haven't written any ourselves, because neither my husband nor I has come up with one that we wanted to send out, but I do like getting them. It's much better than "Stu and the boys are fine--Happy Holidays," which tells me only that the sender (and apparently Stu and the boys) are still alive.
But for the love of God, people, please give up the fiction that your pets are writing these letters. We all know they can't type that well."

"Carolyn Hax: They were in need of a defense, even if you did needlessly smear all pet typists in the process. Thanks."

"The SAME Christmas letter: Have a friend who sends the same letter every year. Very nearly verbatim. Same first sentence with the year changed "200X was a busy year." Paragraphs in the same order with the same comments. Only deviations came one year when she had surgery (minor but of a personal nature) and one year when, to quote, several funerals "interrupted our vacation plans."
Didn't realize they were SO EXACTLY the same until we dug out all the old cards, planning to toss them, and we reread. We are eagerly looking toward this year's."

"VA: Can my christmas letter be written by the tapeworm in my gut named Fred instead of the cat?"

"Carolyn Hax: Only if Fred is humble, funny and grounded, or if he makes fun of you mercilessly."

"Let your teenager write the holiday letter: Seriously, My cousin Hannah wrote her family's letter when she was in high school and it was hilarious. She lovingly chastised her parents and put the whole family life in an amusing perspective.
Of course - family should proofread these before copying and sending out."

"Carolyn Hax: Perfect, thanks."

"Christmas card tips: We care about...
-the health of your family
-anything interesting you did, especially if something funny happened
-what the kids look like
we do not care about
-promotions of the husband/wife
-your title at work (see above)
-the rbi of your 6year old in Tball.
Oh, but I would want to hear about peas up the nose.  But only if it was told in a funny way."

"xmas cards: And please, for the love of god, include your adult selves in your holiday photo. Every year my mantle is filled with what looks like holiday photos of orphaned children."

"Carolyn Hax: Wait! Some of us have tried that, but the adults kept ruining the picture. Really--the results were ghastly."

"Richmond, VA: A dear friend we recently lost did something much better than a newsletter. She included with each Christmas card a list of the best quotes of the year (with context) from her two young kids, herself and her husband. They were so funny they'd make you spew peas from your nose, every time."

"Carolyn Hax: Wow, actual advice that could actually work. Seems out of place, but I'll post it anyway. Thanks."

"My mom used to do that!: My mom used to make us all write "articles" for the yearly newsletter describing how our year had been. By the time I left for college, the only "articles" I would submit would detail how I dropped out of high school to run a brothel in Maui, or interned at an alligator wrestling farm, or had gender reassignment surgery. And she ran them. Hopefully, those "articles" made up for the rest of them, which were more of the "200X was a busy year" variety."

"Carolyn Hax: You know, to people who really did drop out of high school to run brothels in Maui, this is pretty callous."

And off-topic, but still great...

"Uh-oh...: Is that us? We have a six month old, but we have to bring her, because like every single person we know we could hire to babysit her is already AT the party! So if she's not wanted, we can't go. But we feel so stupid saying every time, "is it okay if we bring M?" I feel like maybe -they- feel like they have to say yes..."

"Carolyn Hax: It is you. Branch out and find sitters independent of your social circle. It is hard but thoroughly worth it.
And lose the "if she's not wanted" spin. That attitude is really corrosive to your friendships and, frankly, your image of yourself as an adult independent of your job as parent. Sometimes people want to be able to have an adult conversation with you. This is not about "not wanting" your kid there--although that isn't a negative thing, either. Kids can get annoying sometimes. This is fact, not kidism."