Chaos Theory

The new hot wedding trend...

fake mustaches.

Aww.

Mormons at a gay wedding (Salon).

The costume was passe two weeks ago, people.

"I haven't known this many friends who wanted to dress as the same person since "Star Wars" came out in 1977. (Salon)

"Below are the Halloween costumes I do not want to see this year.

I beg of you, America. Don't go there.

10. Slutty Sarah Palins

So far in this election cycle, the Alaska governor has inspired countless cheesecake Photoshop jobs, naughty Web tributes and at least one honest-to-goodness porno. What will happen when the most fascinating character of the election meets a holiday fabled for its French maids and pirate whores?

8. Men dressed as Sarah Palin

I know, I know: There's nothing funnier than someone with balls dressing up as someone with a vagina. I watched "Bosom Buddies." I realize this kills. But donning one of those hot-property Palin wigs, smart glasses and some Revlon red is a little, dare I say, creatively bankrupt?

There are so many fascinating women more deserving of the tribute. Here, let me give you a few suggestions: Joan from "Mad Men"; Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow and Campbell Brown (as they might appear on "Charlie's Angels"!); the hosts of "The View"; the stars of "Sex and the City; the pregnant man. (Now that's a costume: All you need is a goatee stencil and a watermelon!)

6. Slutty Tina Fey and Sarah Palin twins

Here is what I know for certain about this Halloween: Candy will be eaten. Children will dress as adorable pumpkins and kitty cats. And somewhere, as you read this, female twins are planning to dress up as Sarah Palin and Tina Fey, and they will either make out or come close to making out, and fine fine, twins and lesbians are part of the mysterious and collective erotic experience, but all I know is: Don't disrespect Tina Fey like that. She would so rather make out with Amy Poehler!

On the other hand, I would like to see Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert kissing. I don't mean men in costume dressed like them. I mean Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Making out. (Is that so wrong?)

4. Children dressed as Sarah Palin, slutty Sarah Palin or slutty Sarah Palin and Tina Fey

Last year, just prior to Halloween, Los Angeles Times columnist Joel Stein suggested the introduction of "Slut Day," which would free Halloween from the swarms of adults dressing up as though they should be charging by the hour. He bemoaned the way that slut culture -- which, in 2007, was possibly at its pop-tartlet apex -- had trickled down even to kids. "It's transforming formerly child-friendly costume shops from fun-creepy into Chris Hansen-creepy," he wrote. Amen, Joel Stein. And anyone who's seen an adorable little girl tarted up like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan understands the soul damage that vision can inflict.

And so I ask you, parents of this great country: Let your little girl dress up like a butterfly. Let your little boy dress up like Spider-Man (again). Do not inflict your politics upon your children. Unless, of course, your politics are my politics, and you want to dress your little boy up like Obama. In which case, I will probably weep.

3. Creative illustrations of Sarah Palin's pregnancy. Creative illustrations of Bristol Palin's pregnancy. Anything involving an abortion, a botched abortion, leaking amniotic fluid, rape kits or incest.

One word: Blech.

1. Trig. Trig. Trig."

The Endsville

I've been feeling kind of irritated with the dragging-on of "Now, Endsville" on Salon. The last one of it went up today. It wraps up a little fast (odd that I said that), but the last panel? Golden.

Flip me baby, one more time

Taking "wheelie" to a whole new level.

Lego minifig heaven

Awwww!

Blunt booty call

Oh, Faye.

Trick-or-treat at TV character's houses

Here.

• Kids: “Trick-or-treat.”
• Earl: “Aw, look at those great costumes. And what are you supposed to be?”
• Kid: “A prostitute.”
• Earl: “Okay. And what are you — Randy, what are you doing?”
• Randy: “Trick-or-treat, Earl. Look, I’m an astronaut.”
• Earl: “Oh my God, Randy. You put a plastic bag on your head?”
• Randy: “I’ve always wanted to go trick-or-treating, Earl. And it’s a space helmet.
• Earl: “Randy–”
• Randy: “It’s getting kind of hot in here. Can I get that candy now, Earl?”
• Earl: “You need to take that bag off your head.”
• Randy: “Not so fast, how do I know there’s enough carbon dioxide in the air to breathe?”
• Earl: “Come on, Randy.”
• Randy: “Oh, I’m seeing stars now, Earl. I told you this was a good costume.”

 

It's the Great Cake, Charlie Brown

So cute.

Now that's some pumpkin carving

NOM NOM NOM.