"The problem with the word "vagina" is that vaginas seem to be just straight-out bad luck. Only a masochist would want one, because only awful things happen to them. Vaginas get torn. Vaginas get "examined." Evidence is found in them. Serial killers leave things in them, to taunt Morse — like they're the shelf in the hallway, where you leave your keys and spare change. No one wants one of those."
Slang terms for "down there" ensue.
Yup, more Caitlin Moran is ensuing here as well.