"Today, though, they were masturbating one another. The office lady sitting by me was beside herself at the sight of come on the girlfriend's hand, post-handjob. Then the guy started rubbing his big old butt into his girlfriend's crotch in a most rhythmic and dirty way, and the office lady said to her friend, "I must be mistaken. I did not go to the theater and pay $7, and yet I am still witnessing these things." I should have upbraided this fellow, or at least advised him that the bus is not the proper venue in which to spill one's sweet jizzum all over the hand of one's girlfriend, what with the inevitable collateral spillage on seat and floor."

Best Internet Variety Show (and Good Luck Getting Anything Done, Ever) in 2005! 


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