What's Going On

Quotes

  • Cecil, Welcome to Night Vale:
    "The problem wasn’t solved, but most problems don’t get solved. I mean, generally we just do our best to mitigate the problem, and if it can’t be mitigated, then it can be relegated to a background noise by pleasant distractions and a prioritization of interests."
  • "It does seem sometimes like life toggles between boring and flat-out mystifying."-Carolyn Hax
  • Sarah Silverman:
    "Nothing’s more attractive than an unending monologue about your shortcomings."
  • Carolyn Hax:
    "Sometimes surrendering to the awful is more useful than fighting it."
  • Graham Joyce:
    "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
  • Dan Harmon:
    "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
  • Nora Ephron:
    "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
  • McAlvie
    "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
  • Jenny Zhang:
    "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
  • Joe Queenan:
    "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
  • LogicalDash:
    "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
  • Keith Richards:
    "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
  • Caitlin Moran:
    "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly. Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing. "I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
  • Carolyn Hax:
    "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
  • David Simon:
    "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
  • Joe Queenan:
    "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
  • Dan Savage:
    "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
  • the painkiller:
    "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
  • Steve Jobs:
    "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
  • Apple:
    "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
  • Miss Manners:
    "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
  • Stephen Tobolowsky:
    "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
  • James Bulls:
    "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
  • SOMEBODY???
    "May the bridges I burn light the way"
  • Amy Argetsinger:
    "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
  • Cary Tennis:
    "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
  • Mark Morford:
    "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
  • Charlie Jane Anders:
    "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
  • Roger Ebert:
    "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
  • Myca:
    "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
  • Lady Gaga:
    "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
  • Dianna Agron:
    "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
  • John Mayer:
    "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
  • Vanessa, Something Positive:
    "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
  • Anonymous:
    “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
  • Sugar:
    "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
  • Wide Lawns:
    "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
  • Anonymous reporter:
    “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
  • Anne Johnson:
    "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
  • Carl Mayer:
    "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."

« How to be an offensive human being | Main | It's Mall Week at the AV Club »

August 20, 2012

If other authors did Lord of the Rings

"Sam, I've decided to go and overthrow the Dark Lord by tossing his jewellery into a volcano."

"Very good, sir. Should I lay out your crazy adventure garb? I presume that this will pose a delay to tea-time. I would remind your Hobbitship that your Great Aunt Lobellia Sackville-Baggins is expected for tea."

"Blast! I say, bother! How can a chap overthrow the Dark Lord? I suppose I will have to delay my campaign."

"Very good, sir. I believe you will be free in about a decade."

"I'll do it then. Make a note, Sam."

Posted on August 20, 2012 at 02:29 PM in NaNoWriMo/Writing Stuff |

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Speed-Reading List

  • Sandhya Menon: When Dimple Met Rishi
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  • Trevor Noah: Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
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  • Emily Esfahani Smith: The Power of Meaning: Crafting A Life That Matters
    Reviewed August 15. (****)
  • Janet Evanovich: Dangerous Minds
    Reviewed August 14. (**)
  • Janet Evanovich and Phoef Sutton: Curious Minds
    Reviewed August 13. (***)
  • Leah Konen: The Romantics
    Reviewed July 30 (**)
  • Brene Brown: Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
    Reviewed July 16. (***)
  • Olivia Fox Cabane: The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism
    Reviewed July 14. (****)
  • Shonda Rhimes: Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person
    Reviewed July 13. (****)
  • Brene Brown: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
    Reviewed July 12. (***)
  • Eve Darrows: The Awesome
    Reviewed July 10. (****)
  • John Gribbin and Mary Gribbin: Richard Feynman: A Life In Science
    Reviewed July 6. (****)
  • Louisa May Alcott and Lynn Messina: Little Vampire Women
    Reviewed July 5. (***)
  • Seanan McGuire: Down Among The Sticks And Bones
    Reviewed July 4. (****)
  • Edited by Michelle Feynman: Perfectly Reasonable Deviations From The Beaten Track: The Letters of Richard P. Feynman
    Reviewed July 3. (****)
  • A. Lee Martinez: The Last Adventure of Constance Verity
    Reviewed July 2. (****)
  • Ilona Andrews: White Hot
    Reviewed July 1. (****)
  • Ilona Andrews: Burn For Me
    Reviewed June 30. (***)
  • Michael Rubens: The Bad Decisions Playlist
    Reviewed June 28. (****)
  • Jim Ottaviaani and Leland Myrick.: Feynman
    Reviewed June 25. (****)
  • Karen Bowman: Corsets and Codpieces: A History of Outrageous Fashion, from Roman Times to the Modern Era
    Reviewed June 27. (****)
  • Melissa de la Cruz: Alex and Eliza: A Love Story
    Reviewed June 26. (***)
  • Richard P. Feynman: "What Do You Care What Other People Think?" Further Adventures of a Curious Character
    Reviewed June 24. (***)
  • Richard P. Feynman: "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" Adventures of a Curious Character
    Reviewed June 23. (***)
  • Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little Nobody
    Reviewed June 14. (***)
  • Al Franken: Al Franken, Giant of the Senate
    Reviewed June 10. (****)
  • David Herbert Donald: Lincoln
    Reviewed June 8. (*****)
  • Tim Harford: Messy: The Power of Disorder to Transform Our Lives
    Reviewed June 7. (****)
  • Steve Hockensmith: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After
    Reviewed May 31. (****)
  • Sarina Bowen: Pipe Dreams
    Reviewed May 26. (***)
  • Kristy Acevedo: Consider
    Reviewed May 23. (*****)
  • Michael Tomasky: Bill Clinton
    Reviewed May 22. (****)
  • Maggie Stiefvater: The Raven King
    Reviewed May 21. (****)
  • Maggie Stiefvater: Blue Lily, Lily Blue
    Reviewed May 20. (***)
  • Maggie Stiefvater: The Dream Thieves
    Reviewed May 13. (***)

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