You know what, I'm a fan of August. Since happily I never lived in one of those places where they force you to go to school before Labor Day, (which is soooooooooo wrong--I just got back from hanging out with a teacher who has to go back to work next week) I have never had to regard August as Back To School Month. and really, fuck that.
"Remember all those damp, blustery afternoons of March, when you daydreamed of sipping pastel boozy concoctions at sun-dappled sidewalk cafes, possibly overseas? Well, you can't afford international airfare. But you don't need month full of cultural self-importance and paid holidays to become your own fantasy. Sweat, and drink. Do it in sexy clothes. August won't care. Unlike holiday times of year, it's not guilting you into spending your vacation eating fowl and making small talk with your family. So go ahead and use a personal day to get that 2 p.m. brunch and lose a few hours to mimosas and remembrances of drunks past. In August, nothing planned is nothing to escape.
After today, 15 full days of August remain. So eat overpriced ice cream. Have a mint julep and say something polite. Acquire an extravagant fan. Fan yourself. Imagine everything you'll be longing to do during the short days of January and do it, preemptively."
"I feel the need to reiterate here that the legal holidays you pine for are often terrible. Founded on abstractions or anniversaries, coming to you fettered with family problems, and forcing you into begrudging gift-buying. If you take a random day off in the middle of August, nobody has to know about it outside your office, so nobody has to pressure you into coming over for dinner and strained conversation. Don't ask, don't tell, don't make pot roast."
Hah, good point. I've taken all the Fridays in August off so far, BOOYAH.

Best Internet Variety Show (and Good Luck Getting Anything Done, Ever) in 2005! 


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