"Last night I went on Newsnight with Jeremy Paxman and ended up bringing
the subject of clown porn. It’s now made a news story in The Mirror.
I’ve had about a thousand people sending me really distressing clown
porn shots. I have never seen cream pies and squirty bowties used in
such a horrible, horrible manner. It’s really upsetting.
What made you bring it up?
I tried to think of what I didn’t think would exist. So, I just said ‘clown porn’! I had no idea it was such a big thing. I mean, I know now exactly how big a thing it is. I just thought I was inventing something that never existed, but as you find out, as with anything, pornography has got there before you."
"It’s easier for straight men to grow up as they’re surrounded by millions of role models, men don’t even realise how easily and so casually that they can pick a role model off the shelf that suits their aspirations. But for gay men and for women, you’re kind of looking around like ‘Oh my God!’ I know at the time, as a teenage girl, there weren’t that many women around that I could identify with. There was, like, Marmalade Atkins…it was a fairly pitiful line up of role models. All these strong female role models either die tragically or kill themselves! I was like ‘all the women I like die! Am I gonna be dead by the time I hit 30?’ "
"Okay, be really careful if you do decide to give someone a Champagne blow job with fizzy mineral water. It’s always fun, but if you’ve had quite a lot of sex beforehand he will be quite raw and he will scream when the bubbles make contact with his skin. Check the rawness of the skin on the penis before giving a Champagne, fizzy water, or alka-seltzer blowjob."
"I would so love to interview Angelina Jolie – she only ever gets asked the same questions. How do you and Brad find time to have sex? How do you cope with your seven children? How do you manage to fit in your career? The answer to them all is loads of fucking nannies. I want ask her some proper questions, because she’s this freaking mental goth woman, who, like, cuts her self up and keeps viles of blood around her neck and goes about adopting kids from all over the world, and just looking super-sexy like some incredible insect! I just don’t want any more questions being asked to her that could be answered with the word ‘nannies’"