"I have been the lonesome, ugly, desperate, can't-get-laid guy, and I have been the cute girl pursued by gross, horny dudes. (It's been a weird life.) As a teenager and young adult, I built up a lot of R. Crumb-ian resentment toward women. I was never the I-bought-you-dinner-so-now-you-owe-me-a-poke guy, but it felt like women had all the freaking power in the dating world and I hated it.
Then, in my mid-twenties, I finally admitted to myself that I was transgender after a lifetime of painful repression. I started dolling up and going out to clubs, and I ended up making a surprisingly cute girl given the (very) raw material I started with.
Getting hit on by dudes was a revelation. Their fumbling, desperate attempts were sometimes endearing, sometimes pitiful and sometimes just plain scary. (Some of these creeps would get very very grabby.) I would occasionally find myself feeling flattered, grossed out and scared all at once, and there was some weird, bitchy part of me that sometimes actually enjoyed turning guys down. I was never heartless, but it was nice to feel unattainable.
Obviously I can't claim I got the full female experience, but it really shook up my view of the world. All of a sudden, so much of the craziness and misery that happens between men and women made so much more sense. On the one hand, you've got guys who are so lonely and desperate they can't think straight, and on the other hand you've got girls dealing with men who stand too close and say creepy things and look at them the way Hannibal Lecter looks at Clarice Starling."

Best Internet Variety Show (and Good Luck Getting Anything Done, Ever) in 2005! 


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