"I suppose there are good suggestions about how to make your days bearable, and I guess you really want this job and it is a good job, but frankly, as one human to another, I don’t want to tell you to just suck it up, work hard and be a part of the company. I want you to find what you are looking for. (Salon)
This is alienated work and alienated work sucks. That’s no mystery. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are just in the wrong job. Until you somehow find the work you were destined to do, no amount of status is going to erase your nagging insecurity. You feel like you don’t belong there because you don’t belong there.
We humans can put up with just about anything, from boring jobs to torture cages. But should you? Why? Unless not doing this job is going to cause the death of a child or put you in starvation, I think you should plan to keep looking into your soul for what you are really driven to do. Sure, keep working and save some money. But don’t pretend that there is some magical way you’re just going to “adjust.” The reason you’re not comfortable is that this is not the right job. It never will be.
But I don’t want to see you just fit in. I want to see you find your destiny. That’s not crazy talk. It’s very real, down-to-earth talk. It’s just that your destiny may not be some world-shattering discovery. Your destiny may be something quiet and true, but you will know it. It won’t make you insecure. It will come with a kind of “aha” feeling, and a sigh of contentment."