"This year, I'd like to propose the beginning of a new tradition. The Thursday after Thanksgiving, you get together with a few people, drink brown liquor, and complain about things you hate, and you fucking own it. Nobody gets to say "first-world problem"—I don't care how from Vermont they are. If you use the word "privilege" you have to move to Cambodia forever. I call this holiday Kvetchmas. If you find yourself to be a gentile, you can call it Complainoween. Here is my very first Kvetchmas list:"