Gonna be a short day today and I probably won't get to more over the weekend. Darn it. Continued from here.
- Marjorine
- Ginger Kids
Marjorine:
- Cartman called an emergency meeting in his basement of all the boys in class. The girls are hiding something from us. Something huge.
- They have a device that lets them see into the future. What?
- Cartman has video of this. It's....a cootie catcher/MASH-type game. How do it know the aanswer?
- The cootie catcher must open some kind of time wall.
- One of us is going to have to go undercover to the slumber party as a man. We'll have to fake that boy's death. Simple spy stuff.
- Everyone knows it's Butters!
- He's about to jump off a building. "Hi, Mom."
- "Just keep stalling, Butters, we don't have the dead pig quite ready yet."
- So guess what happened. Butters's mom starts screaming.
- "Who's Butters?"
- Meet the new kid: Marjorine (formerly Butters).
- "Well, I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancing, and ponies, and getting my snootch pounded on Friday nights."
- Mr. Garrison says that us girls keep those details to themselves in Colorado. O RLY?
- Butters fails at girl fashion.
- Heidi has been forced to invite Marjorine because her mother called and said to respect our authoritae.
- Butters's mom is sobbing.
- Some farmer comes by to tell the parents not to bury him in an Indian burial ground so that it will come back to life. Don't do it, Stotch! The aliens knew that. I'm just here to talk you out of it.
- I see how well that's going to go.
- "If all the girls start lezzing out, let's go with it."
- After the slumber party, THEN you can go home and tell your parents you're not dead.
- No drinking, pot, or boys at this party!
- "Light as a feather, stiff as a board" is the first game up. Butters freaks. (Note: seriously, read the Wikipedia on this!)
- "God only knows the whores that go on at girls' slumber parties."
- "You're all witches!"
- Your future is that you will die alone as a nerdy, lonely geek.
- Uh-oh, I see Butters' dad with a shovel.
- "Oh, Butters, you smell like bacon."
- Marjorine is crying in the bathroom. Everyone feels bad. They'll give her a makeover!
- Marjorine, your mom's on the phone.
- Time for the cootie catcher.
- The dad spots boys outside. Butters runs off with the cootie catcher.
- What the hell?
- "Anybody have a piece of notebook paper so I can make another one?"
- Butters's dad reburied him. Oh noes!
- "He wouldn't be our son, Stephen! He'd be an abomination!"
- Knocking at the door. It's Butters!
- Now it's like Buffy.
- Butters walks in and his mom starts screaming again. What have I done?
- Everyone is going to be after this time travel device. We should destroy it.
- They do.
- They set off some kind of nuke.
- Kenny's not dead!
- Butters is chained up in the basement.
- "I'm sorry, son, but you're demon spawn now."
- They kill some woman and give it to Butters to eat. "Can't I just have some Spaghetti-O's?
Ginger Kids:
- Token just reported on the solar system. Next up is of course Eric. His topic is "Ginger Kids."
- He thinks it's a disease ("gingivtis") and nasty. I guess this is a different version of "I hate the Jews" for him.
- Kyle is a "daywalker," according to Cartman.
- "The gingers could envelop us in blackness for all time."
- "If you think the ginger kids are not a problem, think again." (shows picture of Carrot Top)
- Meet the Foleys, all gingers.
- How did two brunette parents have three redheads? Seriously, this TOTALLY happened to my friend with her kids.
- "It's not true they have no souls."
- "If you really don't want to have kids, marry an Asian woman. They don't have the recessive gene."
- Clyde's going to do a speech about lesbian cheerleaders after lunch.
- "Do you know who was ginger? Judas. He just got Jesus killed, that's all."
- A ginger kid is thrown out of the cafeteria.
- "This is what happens when Cartman is allowed his right to free speech."
- Stan gets the bright idea of "what if Cartman could see what it's like to be ginger." (Or Jewish.)
- The boys sneak into Cartman's room at midnight. He's such an attractive sleeper. Time for a ton of hair dye. Kyle beats on Cartman quite a lot.
- The next morning.... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! "Poopsikins!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
- "I'm ginger! Help me! Help meeeeeeeeee!"
- The gingivitis gene must have stayed dormant until adolescence.
- Mrs. Cartman, you need to understand that there is no cure. "You might want to put him down."
- Mom loves me no matter what, right? ..... right?
- Cartman tries to be all casual with his umbrella. What, he's not hiding in his hat?
- That was one of the politer conversations Cartman has ever had. Ironic, isn't it? Cartman doesn't see it.
- New bus driver.
- Butters laughs at Cartman.
- "Maybe he'll actually learn a lesson this time."
- Cartman is booted from the cafeteria. But he's not like other ginger kids! He's still him inside! (That's not a bonus.)
- Cartman calls a meeting of the ginger kids and he's mad!
- "My dad says each one of my freckles is a kiss from an angel." GAG ME.
- Who's famous and ginger? (Lucille Ball?) Ron Howard? Ron Howard?
- Red Power! Red Power!
- "Let him make a complete ass of himself for a while longer."
- Annie! is on.
- The Ginger Separatist Movement is complaining because Annie is a dyed ginger.
- Ginger Separatists sound like Emma's parents on Glee.
- "Pretending to be ginger with makeup is the worst thing anyone can do! Get her!"
- Ginger Pride Con!
- "The man who has brought self-respect to gingers, Eric Cartman!"
- "Red Power!" Dude's such a fucking evangelist.
- "The only way to fight hate is with more hate! We're not the freak in society, everyone else is! We are the chosen race--" AND YUP, HE'S TURNING INTO HITLER AGAIN.
- He wants to exterminate all non-gingers. (Except Kyle, probably.) "I am not going to live my life as a goddamned minority!"
- Kyle wants to change Cartman back.
- "You know, Cartman had me creeped out that gingers were going to come get me in the night." And here they are.
- Horror movie ensues.
- Exterminate All Non-Gingers Conference. Everyone else is locked up in cages at the Hilton. Cartman somehow has a hot lava pit.
- Kyle has one last confession, which he whispers in Cartman's ear.
- NOW WHAT?
- Cartman backtracks. "But you just said they should all die. Fifteen seconds ago."
- "What did the kid in the green hat tell you?"
- Cartman tries to come up with a cheerful song. "We shouldn't kill each other, 'cause it's lame." It catches on. The kids are released to sing along (except Kyle).
- "You are such a manipulative asshole, Cartman." "Yes, but I'm not going to die."
Comments