Sarah Silverman: "Nothing’s more attractive than an unending monologue about your shortcomings."
Carolyn Hax: "Sometimes surrendering to the awful is more useful than fighting it."
Graham Joyce: "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
Dan Harmon: "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
Nora Ephron: "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
McAlvie "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
Jenny Zhang: "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
Joe Queenan: "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
LogicalDash: "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
Keith Richards: "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
Caitlin Moran: "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly.
Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing.
"I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
Carolyn Hax: "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
David Simon: "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
Joe Queenan: "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
Dan Savage: "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
the painkiller: "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
Steve Jobs: "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Apple: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
Miss Manners: "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
Stephen Tobolowsky: "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
James Bulls: "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
Amy Argetsinger: "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
Cary Tennis: "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
Mark Morford: "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
Charlie Jane Anders: "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
Roger Ebert: "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
Myca: "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
Lady Gaga: "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
Dianna Agron: "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
John Mayer: "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
Vanessa, Something Positive: "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
Anonymous: “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
Sugar: "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
Wide Lawns: "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
Anonymous reporter: “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
Anne Johnson: "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
Carl Mayer: "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
John Scalzi: "In retrospect, it’s a little weird to think that my entire future was falling into place as I obliviously tucked into the El Presidente chimichanga platter, but of course, that’s life for you — the most important days of your existence don’t always announce themselves in obvious ways."
Tart and Soul: "Indeed, love comes whether we have braced ourselves for it or not. But commitment offers a choice, tapping us on the shoulder to say, “sorry to bother you. Is this a good time?”
"Women and girls talk to other women and girls A LOT. If you are writing a hard-shelled patriarchal society, this is going to be even more true rather than less true, and in such a case your story will be less realistic if the female characters in the narrative only ever talk to or interact with men. It’s rare for women to live in isolation from other women—and in circumstances where they do, they are often eager for a chance to interact with other women even for a short time."
"We can’t do it yet — they’re just too noisy, too violent, too inescapable, too dangerous especially when they think you’re not paying attention. Worse, they’re constantly training each other that they have a right to our time, our regard, our bodies. Right now, it’s not safe for us to turn our backs.
But isn’t that the goal? I want to trust men enough that I can ignore them if they’re not my friends, colleagues, or loved ones. I want to know that unless I invite them into my life, they will be truly irrelevant—that they won’t try to shout or threaten or grope or fuck or murder me into paying attention. I want us to be able to safely treat men we don’t know or care about with genuine indifference—not fear, not wariness, not conciliatory coddling, not real or ironic or semi-ironic hatred.
Somewhere just a little ahead of us, there’s a new identity: one that’s not about pleasing men or about discarding them, but instead about ignoring them and celebrating women’s power. She is not here yet, but she’s visible, and getting closer. In fact, she’s easy to see, because she’s silhouetted crisply against the moon as she rides across it on her broomstick.
What makes a witch? Here’s the secret: it’s not a pact with the devil, or hunger for children, or I’ll-get-you-my-pretty revenge. It’s just turning your back on expectations, flipping the bird to the patriarchy and all its little monsters. A witch doesn’t need to have a bad attitude—but she doesn’t need to be a submissive helpmeet either. She doesn’t need to hate children, but there’s nothing wrong with her not wanting to host them in her womb or in her house. (She cannot eat them. We still have to live in a society.) She can hate men, or find them pointless, or she can love them—she can love as many men as she wants. She doesn’t need to be ugly, but she’s under no obligation to be beautiful."
"Honestly, if the Tweet had come from a Grand Wizard of the KKK, it would be obviously, painfully racist. If it had come from Sarah Silverman, it would be obviously not a joke at the expense of Africans, but a joke at the expense of white privilege. Sarah Silverman would be mocking the type of person who believed that, and she might also be mocking the fact that AIDS is still a death sentence in parts of Africa, while it's become increasingly treatable in Western cultures."
"Here the thing, if a person -- even an accountant -- messes up their taxes, there are clear and well known ways to fix the mistake. If its big and intentional, maybe jail and license suspension or disbarment. If it's less egregious, there's a new filing and a penalty or fine. There is no similar system for the internet, so all punishment is the same, and often incredibly severe."
"We seem to be really, really into making people object lessons these days."
There are also reports on scary experiments in schools on how easily things are retweeted or how fast a "private" Snapchat is sent around the world. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
In other news today, I discovered that a 20-year-old I know does not have Facebook. i am so proud of her.
Look, I don't pay attention to sports and I had not heard of this dude before tonight. I gather he is quite problematic at best. But for this act alone, he's kind of a hero to me today. Also, FINALLY SOMETHING WORKED TO STOP SOMEONE, eh?
"You could see at some point they all thought what the hell is he going to do to me and they got worse and eventually it got to the point where I said OK, I need to fix this.”
“A couple of these guys, this stuff will follow them around for the rest of their lives because I am going to make sure it does,” he added.
“No one is every allowed and OK to talk to you like this, in person or in private, ever. You better know that the opportunities for you out there are no different for you because you’re a woman. People like this are so intimated by you and your potential success that this is the only thing they got. That is one of the reasons why I taught my daughter self-defense. We live in a world that is — look across the ocean — we live in a world that in some cases despises women.”
"Now let me emphasize again. I was a jock my whole life. I played sports my whole life. Baseball since I was 5 until I retired at 41. I know clubhouses. I lived in a dorm. I get it. Guys will be guys. Guys will say dumb crap, often. But I can’t ever remember, drunk, in a clubhouse, with best friends, with anyone, ever speaking like this to someone…"
"I have belatedly, reluctantly, and sadly come to the conclusion that the Internet is ruining society."
"Actually, it's the other way around."
"I think the internet was great until the rest of society showed up."
"On the one hand, yay him! Anything that holds harassers accountable is great as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand, I'm not sure that she would have been able to get the same degree of redress if she hadn't had a famous father, and that's an issue. Women shouldn't need the support of powerful male relatives in order to be safe from harassment."
"And, frankly, is just another exhibit of the kind of privilege that Schilling has, that he can call up the baseball coach at a random college and get a kid suspended. Because if Gabby's father were random no-name Curt Schenkel, no way could he have gotten anything done to protect her (although TBF, she wouldn't have been singled out except for her father's fame)."
"I just hope that there are more cases like this where trolls suffer consequences, so that maybe women can say things on the internet, and when a person who might troll her is about post, they think, "oh, wait, will this come back to bite me?" And, yeah, hopefully that'll be the case Even when the women and their families aren't powerful."
"I think it is great that Curt Schilling is doing something about this. He has an audience, and it is one that normally isn't associated with fighting against this kind of thing. Some TV exec should give him a reality show where he is like the social media A-Team: Curt gets a call from someone who is being harassed online. They do a short profile on the victim and the harassment. To pad things out you could have eggheads explain why the trolling was so bad and the effects it has on victims. Curt could do 2 of these per show. Curt and his group of internet sleuths find the harassers and then he shows up at their door with a camera crew. The harasser has no idea what's going on, and maybe even thinks he's won a prize, why else would Curt Schilling come to his door with a camera crew right? Then BOOM! Curt tells him off for doing whatever trolling he was doing."
"It seems to me that ignoring the trolls and staying quiet has not done one whit against online harassment and bullying. There are comments on his blog along the lines of "he should have called the police." These people have clearly never been abused online. I'm tired of being told that this is just the internet and that I should just accept it. The more people who hear that this is not acceptable, the more likely it is that it'll be taken seriously."
Christ... I think this thread could be pretty digested down to 7 comments: 1 . Yay 2. But Schilling is often bad! 3. Boo and yay 4. Women shouldn't have to rely on $_male to solve the problem/the system sucks 5. Yes but... 6. [random assuming of bad faith] 7. wut?
"Is public doxing really the best response?" "What are the alternatives? Leaving aside illegal alternatives such as going to their house and punching them in the face (which I'm most definitely not advocating), what action can any one person take in such a situation armed with the knowledge that law enforcement doesn't care the tiniest bit about assault against women? I'm as concerned as the next person about possible wrong identification, but the situation has been pushed to a place where the rules of justice may need to be flipped on their head to even come close to working - it may just be that one person wrongly accused is the lesser harm when the alternative is hundreds and thousands going unpunished. In this particular case, it's only because the accuser is a male celebrity that the perpetrators have got even the relative slap on the wrist they have."
"1. Person X said really, really awful thing on Twitter about your daughter. 2. You do some digging to find Person X’s real name and profession. 3. You contact Person X’s employer and say: “Were you aware that Person X said this? And do you know how easy it was for me to figure out they work for you? If I figured it out, surely so have other people; do you want this sentiment associated with your business?”
This isn’t always the connotation of badass. Sometimes the term is applied to people with palpable confidence and an uncompromising attitude who do feel comfortable shedding a few tears and displaying nurturing characteristics. But McClelland is right that, as it’s most commonly used, badass implies both toughness and disaffectedness. It’s rare to look at someone whose chief qualities are measured thoughtfulness and open emotionality and declare her a total badass. As women carve out careers and comfortably adopt traits that were once considered “masculine,” there’s strong social pressure on them to mimic the stoicism that men have traditionally been expected to maintain in the face of hardship."
1) Whitman and Robbie Amell have ridiculously good chemistry
The DUFF is sneaky because it sets you up for one completely predictable teen movie, then slowly moves you over to completely different predictable teen movie, all without showing you what it's doing. The DUFF does such a good job convincing you that you're living in movie A, that it's surprisingly delightful to realize you're actually in movie B. It's like a sleight of hand trick.
2) The "DUFF," as it turns out, is just a state of mind
This is a little bit of a reach, considering that DUFF literally stands for something, but the film goes out of its way to argue that anybody can be a DUFF in pretty much any situation. It's all about confidence and projecting that you're comfortable in your own skin. So long as that's the case, it's much harder to be a DUFF. Or something like that.
This means that the film's arc isn't the familiar one of the awkward teenage girl discovering her inner pretty self, so the boys notice what a fox she is. Instead, it's about Bianca evolving from her slightly awkward, closed-off self to the person she'll probably be after a few years in her 20s, when she has a better idea of who she is and what works for her. The resolution of the film revolves not around conformity, but around something more like embracing one's true self."
I saw the movie myself and I totally agree. Sure, there's slapsticky stuff and too many social media mentions, but....the movie kept the point of the book and keeps the main characters (minus the ex-girlfriend and her minions, anyway) real.
"One night, I searched ‘woman alone in the woods’ online, just for kicks. The results were discouraging: a stock photo on the first page was named, tellingly: ‘Sad Lonely Woman Walking Alone Into the Woods’. A few other hits explained that women, if we’re sane, simply couldn’t go hiking alone; it wasn’t safe. We’re weak, and besides, there are bears – you don’t want to be mauled and eaten, do you?
‘Sad Lonely Woman Walking Alone Into the Woods’: if the hermit is always a man, if there’s nobility in his solitude, then what’s left for women? Old maid. Hag. There must be something wrong with her. Don’t pretend that these aren’t still true; today, we don’t burn witches, we just shame them.
But for those of us who want to be alone, who still crave it even after all the abuse and skepticism, there are few guides and even fewer celebrations of female solitude. Who is the female hermit? Does she exist? Who is the woman who can look out at the world and in all seriousness say: ‘I want to be alone’?
Often, our supposed weaknesses are used against us. It’s too dangerous, we’re told if we want to travel. You’re not strong enough, we’re told if we express any desire to hike, to build, to boat, to dream. We’ll die if we go outside. Even the men who say that they like smart women, independent women, mean something different from how women define the words: when those men say smart, they mean: I have strong opinions and she agrees with them. Independent as in: she’ll choose to follow where I lead.
What could she do? What can any of us do? It’s difficult to navigate the boundaries of one’s own life. ‘You tell people what you’re doing, and they say, “You’re crazy,”’ the Swiss hiker Sarah Marquis told the New York Times in 2014, after walking 10,000 miles across the world by herself. ‘It’s never: “Cool project, Sarah! Go for it.”’ The potential for catastrophe is implicit: what if we’re lost? The means of production. Even for those women who, unlike Ji Xian, were able to become recluses, their womanhood becomes a disadvantage. Orgyen Chökyi, a 17th century Tibetan Buddhist nun known in the West as the ‘Himalayan Hermitess’, wrote: ‘May I not be born again in a female body. …I could do without the misery of this female life. / How I lament this broken chest, this female body.’ Femininity, as it turns out, can be a barrier to enlightenment.
This is the feeling, sadly rare, of no longer being watched. The psychotherapist Carl Jung, after seeing a photo of the Arctic explorer Augustine Courtauld, remarked that Courtauld’s was the face of a man ‘stripped of his persona, his public self stolen, leaving his true self naked before the world’. For women, this is doubly true: a woman’s life is one lived under surveillance, a system of inner and outer regulations even more restrictive than a man’s. Even a simple stroll down the sidewalk becomes an exercise in self-loathing. Suck in your stomach. Straighten your hem. (What if it rides up, exposing you?) Every shop window offers a glimpse of your own reflection. Adjust, adjust, adjust."
The fact that Christian Grey brings an unconscious woman back to his room is completely unremarked upon by anyone. He carried Anastasia – who is dead to the world – through the front door, past the front desk, through the lobby and into the elevator. And nobody, not the doorman, not the staff, not the guests, nobody said a damn thing about it.
Now in any place, people would notice this shit. This is not something you expect to see in a hotel lobby. In the real world, people would react to this; there would be comments, there would be whispers and pointing, people would be coming up to know if she was OK, folks would be filming it to be put on YouTube alternately laughing at the drunk coed or overlaying it with “Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong”. And that’s for a normal, unknown person. Not a wealthy billionaire. Not someone who’s paparazzi bait.
Let’s be clear here: Christian Grey is the richest man in the Pacific Northwest. He’s no recluse – he’s, at the very least, Richard Branson-level famous. People know who he is and what he looks like. He’s notorious for having never had a publicly acknowledged relationship with anyone. And here he is, bringing an unconscious college student back to his room like he’s bringing back a pizza.
In any other world, this would be huge. TMZ and Perez Hilton would lose their everloving shit over this. Jezebel would have at least three articles in the span of 15 minutes going over grainy YouTube footage. Newspapers would be hounding Grey Industry’s PR team for comments. This would be trending on Twitter. Facebook would be flooded with people sharing the cameraphone snaps. There would be constant comparisons to Retaeh Parsons and Stubenville."