Sarah Silverman: "Nothing’s more attractive than an unending monologue about your shortcomings."
Carolyn Hax: "Sometimes surrendering to the awful is more useful than fighting it."
Graham Joyce: "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
Dan Harmon: "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
Nora Ephron: "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
McAlvie "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
Jenny Zhang: "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
Joe Queenan: "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
LogicalDash: "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
Keith Richards: "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
Caitlin Moran: "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly.
Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing.
"I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
Carolyn Hax: "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
David Simon: "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
Joe Queenan: "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
Dan Savage: "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
the painkiller: "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
Steve Jobs: "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Apple: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
Miss Manners: "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
Stephen Tobolowsky: "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
James Bulls: "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
Amy Argetsinger: "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
Cary Tennis: "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
Mark Morford: "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
Charlie Jane Anders: "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
Roger Ebert: "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
Myca: "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
Lady Gaga: "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
Dianna Agron: "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
John Mayer: "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
Vanessa, Something Positive: "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
Anonymous: “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
Sugar: "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
Wide Lawns: "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
Anonymous reporter: “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
Anne Johnson: "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
Carl Mayer: "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
John Scalzi: "In retrospect, it’s a little weird to think that my entire future was falling into place as I obliviously tucked into the El Presidente chimichanga platter, but of course, that’s life for you — the most important days of your existence don’t always announce themselves in obvious ways."
Tart and Soul: "Indeed, love comes whether we have braced ourselves for it or not. But commitment offers a choice, tapping us on the shoulder to say, “sorry to bother you. Is this a good time?”
“You automatically lose 40 IQ points in people’s eyes” when you go from presenting as a man to presenting as a woman, she says. Donna Jean identifies just being a woman as for her “the worst thing about being trans” (though when she says this in front of Lizzie, who is also trans, Lizzie interjects: “Aside from losing your job and your family and bankrupting yourself to pay for surgery”). “It’s like being a foreigner,” Donna Jean says. “People talk to you like you don’t speak English. Louder, and slower.” Donna Jean realized she was truly a woman in the world’s eyes the day she went out to her car to refill the windshield-washing fluid and the moment she popped the hood, three men magically appeared. Realizing that the only way these heroes would accept that the little lady knew how to fill her own fucking washing fluid was to tell them that she had for many decades had a penis, she felt no choice but to pretend to be grateful.
“This socialization is so hard,” Donna Jean says, “because women are not respected. I had to revoke my white-guy card. When you’re a man, everything is easy, even if you’re an idiot.” She had to learn the hard way that when you’re a woman, even if you’re not an idiot, you are treated like one."
"So in his epic review of The Phantom Menace, Mr. Plinkett of Red Letter media proposes a test about whether a movie has done a good job of establishing its characters as people: can you describe them with adjectives that do not relate to their attire or what their job is? I was thinking about Top Gun when compiling the checklist. Kelly McGillis is a Tough No-Nonsense Lady Instructor, then a Love Interest. I have no idea what she enjoys doing in her spare time. Contrast this to Goose, who is a goofball who plays the piano and likes to come up with dumb rhymes about needing speed. I just want a minimum Goose-level characterization. She can talk about her feelings or not. She just needs to have traits other than Being A Woman Who Can Ride With The Men."
"Another woman responded that “top-level execs are ‘on’ 24/7 and that is not appealing at all.” Another said she did not want “to trade my personal life” for professional success. Many women also reported that their managers were not supportive of their careers.
The idea is that many women simply do not see themselves as fitting the model of success at their respective firms: They get the message that there's a type of person who's successful, and they aren't it."
"This is Natasha’s entire argument to Bruce. The sterilization story is part of this. Yes, she was forcibly sterilized and yes, she knows that picket fences and kids aren’t in her future. But so the fuck what? You can still bone Mark Ruffalo! Natasha rejects the extreme views of Steve and Roger, instead believing that it’s possible to have a life that both has Avenger work and love in it.
I do have to agree that declaring oneself an "honorary spinster" uh....yeah, that doesn't really work.
"Personal identity is one thing, but presenting a new relationship to the wider world is another matter altogether. You delete Tinder. You introduce someone as “my boyfriend.” You change your status to “in a relationship.” I had the additional burden of figuring out how—and whether—to write about it. Bolick found herself in a similarly complicated situation while writing her book Spinster, released earlier this week. After landing a book deal in “the high six figures” to write about her singleton pride (and her serial monogamist past), she was back in a relationship by the time of her publication date. Which is perhaps why, in the final chapter, she defines “spinster” not as a relationship status but as an ideology or a lifestyle. “I grant that a wholesale reclamation of the word spinster is a tall order,” she writes. “My aim is more modest: to offer it up as a shorthand for holding on to that in you which is independent and self-sufficient, whether you’re single or coupled.”
I want to believe Bolick is right, that “spinster” is a state of mind. But I don’t think it’s that simple. The desire to transcend social categories like gender, sexual orientation, and relationship status is just that: desire. You can be the most independent-minded woman in the world, but if you enter into a relationship, you do have to reshuffle your time and space in order to make room for your partner. And whether or not you believe that partnered women should enjoy more social benefits, you will be more privileged than you were when you were single, especially if you’re part of a heterosexual couple. Just because you don’t identify with negative stereotypes associated with wives and girlfriends—submissive, codependent, nagging, pick any one—doesn’t mean you can up and leave their ranks. Even if you still feel single at heart."
Yup. She goes on to say some things that uh...well.
"I did the same thing when I was single. When people asked me, “Are you dating?” I took great pride in telling them that actively searching for a relationship was a waste of my time. I was happy as I was, and if I happened to meet someone, great. But I was not interested in awkward drinks with a parade of boring strangers. I was single-and-not-looking, a sub-category I used to differentiate myself from those other, desperate single women marching to the predictable drumbeat of societal expectations and their biological clocks. I was not like regular single women, I was a cool single woman."
Hah. I don't consider myself a cool ANYTHING EVER, but otherwise, this pretty much sounds like me. I have no intention of looking--which is to say, online dating a bunch of people I have no interest in and then getting harassed for saying no. I am the pickiest person on earth, so what's the point? Fuck it. I'm fine as is. That doesn't make me cool, though it does make me happy as all hell that I'm not trying to get babies in under the wire--and don't have to.
Though something just occurred to me: if I get a book deal or a writing job about being single, is that a jinx? Do I magically want to start dating if such a thing occurs? Is that the new "it'll happen when you don't want it" (which totally hasn't worked)?
Anyway, the second article has more deep thoughts:
"imagine the reaction if a man said he may have a partner, but he still considers himself an “honorary bachelor”. We wouldn’t think of that guy as an independent-minded fellow shucking off the expectation that he sacrifice his identity. We’d think he’s insinuating that he’s going to cheat on his girlfriend. That’s because we expect women to sacrifice their identity when they enter a relationship, but men are only expected to sacrifice the opportunity to sleep around.
Since this conversation isn’t about how other people treat you so much as how you define yourself, I would therefore like to offer an alternative. Instead of identifying as an “honorary spinster”, why not identify as “the equal to a man”? Which is to say, you believe yourself to be just as entitled as a man to have a relationship without being defined by that relationship. I know, it’s not as sexy, but it’s a lot less confusing. Should anyone have any questions about what that means, just indicate that you would appreciate the same level of respect and assumed independence that your male partner gets.
And I get that just because you self-identify as a man’s equal doesn’t mean other people are going to treat you that way. But the same goes for self-identifying as an honorary spinster. People are still going to treat you like someone’s girlfriend, so this is strictly about how you see yourself and how that shapes the choices you make."