Cecil, Welcome to Night Vale: "The problem wasn’t solved, but most problems don’t get solved. I mean, generally we just do our best to mitigate the problem, and if it can’t be mitigated, then it can be relegated to a background noise by pleasant distractions and a prioritization of interests."
Sarah Silverman: "Nothing’s more attractive than an unending monologue about your shortcomings."
Carolyn Hax: "Sometimes surrendering to the awful is more useful than fighting it."
Graham Joyce: "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
Dan Harmon: "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
Nora Ephron: "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
McAlvie "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
Jenny Zhang: "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
Joe Queenan: "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
LogicalDash: "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
Keith Richards: "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
Caitlin Moran: "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly.
Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing.
"I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
Carolyn Hax: "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
David Simon: "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
Joe Queenan: "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
Dan Savage: "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
the painkiller: "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
Steve Jobs: "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Apple: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
Miss Manners: "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
Stephen Tobolowsky: "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
James Bulls: "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
Amy Argetsinger: "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
Cary Tennis: "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
Mark Morford: "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
Charlie Jane Anders: "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
Roger Ebert: "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
Myca: "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
Lady Gaga: "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
Dianna Agron: "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
John Mayer: "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
Vanessa, Something Positive: "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
Anonymous: “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
Sugar: "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
Wide Lawns: "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
Anonymous reporter: “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
Anne Johnson: "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
Carl Mayer: "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
Episode 7."I love this subplot with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. It’s about two people who need each other desperately and who are irretrievably broken, and it’s all been done in action, the little bit of dialogue used to advance it oblique, shadowing the emotion under the surface. The conflict is great because I want both sides to survive, but they’re caught in a crucible and only one can win. It’s just great writing."
Intermission: "And now we pause for a diagram about story acts and turning points....Somebody should have said, “Our problem is his immortality. Let’s figure out what to do about that.”
Episodes 11-13: "It’s too late to fix this mess. Get out and start a new season/story."
Episodes 14-16: "The last three episodes of the first season of Legends of Tomorrow are: Episode 14: “ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?,” Episode 15: “Now THAT’S a Climax,” Episode 16: “Oh, Yeah, We Still Have To Kill Vandal Savage.”
Season 2, episodes 1-6:"So let’s look at how rebooting a flawed series with huge potential is like revising a flawed first draft with huge potential."
They can change that future, he tells them, and in so doing they will become legends, their names remembered forever in the future. Leaving aside for the moment the fact that Rip is lying in his teeth, let’s look at how bad he is at leading a team. After his big speech . . . • Snart and Mick walk off, unimpressed; they decide to join later for their own goal of robbing the past through time travel. Screw the future. • Stein goes for the knowledge he can attain and the historical figures he might meet. Screw the future. • Jax refuses to go; he ends up on board the ship because Stein drugs him because he can’t go without him. Screw the future.
Sara, Snart, and Mick became Killer, Klepto, Pyro not through any conscious decision but because they were the three who were the most practical and the ones most willing to cross moral lines to get things done. They were also, not surprisingly, the most effective and most popular of the group.
"The whole point of a team, any team, is to tackle a project, be it swindling a grifter or saving the world. Teams therefore need the skills for that particular project. It doesn’t matter how good a team member is at physics if the problem doesn’t require a physicist. The gold standard in teams for me will always be Leverage, and the showrunners there didn’t mess around, identifying team members by their skills in the show’s posters: Mastermind/Brains, Grifter, Hacker, Hitter, Thief. PoI’s beginning team was pretty much Brains and Brawn. The functioning team within the dysfunctional Legends team went by Killer, Klepto, Pyro. Labeling team members like this isn’t a dumbing down of characters; all of those labeled characters are complex and compelling. It’s a capsule description of the strengths and skills of each member, and listing them helps you see why they’re an effective team: They need each other’s skills to accomplish their goals."
"Brunstetter’s play centers on Jane (Sarah Baskin), an unemployed 25-year-old crashing on her sister’s couch, who plays The Oregon Trail in between avoiding the job search, drinking heavily, and sleeping with inappropriate men. She’s a mess, basically, and probably clinically depressed, although the play kind of dances around this fact.
But it’s hard to argue that it wouldn’t be more fun to just play The Oregon Trail, which you can now do online, for free—a fact written into the script of this Oregon Trail, just in case you didn’t already know."
"Not only does The Oregon Trail feature an HBO-style lack of censorship (including a bare-vagina, bare-butt doggy style sex scene), "but there's also a photo booth outside the theater that suggests the play's title for your hashtag.
Given the title of local playwright Bekah Brunstetter's work, it could be easily mistaken for a period drama. And in the loosest sense possible, half of it is. Oscillating between 1848 and 2009, it's a tale of two Janes: one a hopelessly depressed modern-day Oregonian (Sarah Baskin) and Jane's great-great grandmother (Alex Leigh Ramirez), forced to follow the grueling Oregon Trail.
Propelled through time by a narrator (Leif Norby), Now Jane is a broke college grad kicked out of her parents' house, unable to find a job and paralyzed with fear at even having to choose one. In a depressive stupor on the couch of her well-adjusted sister (Emily Yetter), Now Jane sits at her laptop and plays The Oregon Trail, craving distraction but instead gaining insights into her family's history of depression."
"That’s because viewers can choose to sponsor their favorite contestants in the Games, sending them money for food and weapons and supplies. So to win, contestants need to win over their audience. Every contestant has an angle: Some are strong and silent, some are sly, some are sexy.
And in the end, their love story is instrumental to bringing down the evil totalitarian government. It’s not the fact that the government forces its citizenry to send off its children to murder each other every year. It’s not the fact that citizens are starving or dying in the streets. It’s the fact that two photogenic teenagers with nice onscreen chemistry and a story that the country is invested in film some catchy propaganda pieces for the revolutionary movement. That’s what turns the tide for the revolution and destroys the totalitarian government."
I had already done that. Like the other Gabriel plays, which together are subtitled Election Year in the Life of One Family, this one is set on the very night of its opening, and is thus automatically infused with immense anxiety. As the lights come up, most of the Gabriels have voted, all for Hillary, some holding their noses. Though Nelson kept rewriting nearly until curtain, they all still assume that she will win."