Sarah Silverman: "Nothing’s more attractive than an unending monologue about your shortcomings."
Carolyn Hax: "Sometimes surrendering to the awful is more useful than fighting it."
Graham Joyce: "why can’t our job here on earth be simply to inspire each other?"
Dan Harmon: "I believe in magic. I believe in mythology. I believe in shamanism. I believe that spells can be cast and I believe that random things coalesce and reveal themselves to be part of a plan we don’t control, you know."
Nora Ephron: "Never turn down a front-row seat for human folly."
McAlvie "The ultimate downfall of modern civilization won't be war; it'll be Twitter and Facebook."
Jenny Zhang: "A lot of writers swear by routine, but I swear by chaos. There’s enough fucking routine in my life. Every day I have to brush my teeth. Every day I have to smile at strangers. Every day I have to worry about money. Every day I want something I can’t have. Every day I find some way to go on! I know that writing every day for an hour would help me tremendously with writer’s block, but I also know that I need an element of wildness in my writing. I need to know that writing is something I do because it sets me free. It makes me feel golden with confidence. It gives me the gift of gab. I feel like a god. I feel like an entertainer. So write when you damn well please."
Joe Queenan: "If you have read 6,000 books in your lifetime, or even 600, it's probably because at some level you find "reality" a bit of a disappointment. People in the 19th century fell in love with "Ivanhoe" and "The Count of Monte Cristo" because they loathed the age they were living through. Women in our own era read "Pride and Prejudice" and "Jane Eyre" and even "The Bridges of Madison County"—a dimwit, hayseed reworking of "Madame Bovary"—because they imagine how much happier they would be if their husbands did not spend quite so much time with their drunken, illiterate golf buddies down at Myrtle Beach. A blind bigamist nobleman with a ruined castle and an insane, incinerated first wife beats those losers any day of the week. Blind, two-timing noblemen never wear belted shorts."
LogicalDash: "Nobody of any age should have to fend off sexual partners. That such defense is assumed as a part of the cost of adult courtship is suggestive of some more fundamental problem than age difference and its effect on consensuality."
Keith Richards: "I had to invent the job, you know," he said, earlier. "There wasn't a sign in the shop window, saying, "Wanted: Keith Richards."
Caitlin Moran: "As I started to reassess my writing style, I thought about what I liked doing--what gave me satisfaction--and realized the primary one was just... pointing at things. Pointing out things I liked, and showing them to other people--like a mum shouting, "Look! Moo-cows!" as a train rushes past a farm. I liked pointing at things, and I liked being reasonable and polite about stuff. Or silly. Silly was very, very good. No one ever got hurt by silly.
Best of all was being pointedly silly about serious things: politics, repression, bigotry. Too many commentators are quick to accuse their enemies of being evil. It's far, far more effective to point out that they're acting like idiots, instead. I was up for idiot-revealing.
"I am just going to be polite and silly, and point at cool things," I decided. "When I started writing, I would have killed to have one thing to write about. Now, I have three. Politeness and silliness, and pointing. That's enough."
Carolyn Hax: "Unless 15 years’ worth of mail has misled me, no one has ever found love through complaining about the lack of it, and no lonely person has ever felt better for hearing, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
David Simon: "Change is a motherfucker when you run from it."
Joe Queenan: "People who read an enormous number of books are basically dissatisfied with the way things are going on this planet. And I think, in a way, people read for the same reason that kids play video games ... they like that world better. It works better, it's more exciting, and it usually has a more satisfactory ending."
Dan Savage: "There isn't someone for everyone. Some of us do wind up alone, and that just fucking sucks and sometimes that stings, and you don't know if you're one of those people who's going to wind up alone until you die alone....So you kind of have to live in hope and build a life for yourself that's rewarding and fun, has friends and pleasure in it, whether you're alone or not."
the painkiller: "I will not be tagged, pinned, circled, liked, tweeted, retweeted or numbered."
Steve Jobs: "Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Apple: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
Miss Manners: "Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?"
Stephen Tobolowsky: "And of course, nothing is what I figured on in my life. That seems to be a recurring theme."
James Bulls: "When you find yourself walking a true path, you will know it because you will want to walk it no matter the burning Sun, freezing sleet, torrential rain, and treacherous ground. The risks become no less and the journey as always exhausts you, but your desire to brave the challenges never diminishes."
Amy Argetsinger: "Twitter is a disease, plain and simple. It makes people insane. A decade from now I expect the CDC and FDA will be issuing warnings."
Cary Tennis: "You don't have to "move on" either. Not until you're ready. People say, Oh, you should be grateful. They say, Oh, it's time for you to move on. I'm like, What are you, a cop with a nightstick? I'll move on when I'm done playing the blues on my harmonica, thank you very much."
Mark Morford: "It is 2011 and here is what we know: Reality is fluid, fact is malleable, cause and effect completely uncertain. We know what we don't know, but we also know the opposite."
Charlie Jane Anders: "Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you'll never achieve your true greatness — you didn't choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose."
Roger Ebert: "To put it bluntly, I believe the world is patriarchal because men are bigger and stronger than women, and can beat them up."
Myca: "Jesus is not the reason for the season, and there's no way I need to act like he is. Christmas is a stolen tradition. There's no reason we can't steal it back."
Lady Gaga: "I hate the holidays! I'm alone and miserable, you fucking dumb bit of toy!"
Dianna Agron: "I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate."
John Mayer: "It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well. Let me make sure that statement is as absolute and irrevocable as possible by buzzing your tower one more time: no artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
Vanessa, Something Positive: "I like 'em crazy. You hear insane rants, I hear a reminder that the sex is interesting. Oooh! Hear that? Tonight's gonna tingle."
Anonymous: “Your problem is that you want to be an artist. What you need to be is an artisan.”
Sugar: "Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it."
Wide Lawns: "Often very odd things happen to me. Usually they are not my fault and mostly beyond my control."
Anonymous reporter: “When weird shit happens around here, weird shit really happens around here.”
Anne Johnson: "Today some stranger sent me an email that said, "You are a nut case." Well, I must admit this never would have occurred to me. Everyone else is a nut case. I'm the sane one. I think."
Carl Mayer: "Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either."
John Scalzi: "In retrospect, it’s a little weird to think that my entire future was falling into place as I obliviously tucked into the El Presidente chimichanga platter, but of course, that’s life for you — the most important days of your existence don’t always announce themselves in obvious ways."
Tart and Soul: "Indeed, love comes whether we have braced ourselves for it or not. But commitment offers a choice, tapping us on the shoulder to say, “sorry to bother you. Is this a good time?”
"if we were to remake Back to the Future today, a teenaged Marty McFly wouldn’t travel back to 1985 and blow his parents’ high school classmates away by playing Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode” (retroactively stealing rock and roll’s creation back from black people.) 2015 Marty would be scratching and rapping “Straight Outta Compton,” to open mouths and side-eyed stares.
In 1985, Hill Valley’s downtown is partially dilapidated, while its shopping mall’s JC Penny sign is shiny and new. In our 2015, children are as unfamiliar with the concept of “a rerun” as Marty’s uncle is in 1955. And while Marty is able to hook up his camcorder to Doc Brown’s 1950s television set to play back video from 1985, if a time traveller from 2015 were to find herself thirty years in the past, she’d almost certainly have to play back video on her smartphone; her device wouldn’t plug into anything else but maybe the wall outlet.
If you want to be disappointed by anything in our real 2015 compared to what’s imagined in the Back to the Future movies, don’t be disappointed because we haven’t yet been given flying cars or hoverboards. Instead, be disappointed that the momentum of the cassette era has slowed, stopped, and even been rolled back; be disappointed that tech and media companies alike work with judges and law enforcement to take our machines and our culture back out of our own hands.
"The Berkley Pit in Butte, Montana, is a 1,780-foot-deep hole that’s about a mile long and half a mile wide and is half-full of rust-colored groundwater. Or, you know, half-empty depending on your perspective. The large pool is the toxic side-effect of an open-pit copper-mining operation that opened in 1955 and then closed in 1982. If the water from that pit ever slips into the surrounding water table, the people of Butte will have to eat soup through their veins for the rest of their lives. And it’s estimated to happen by 2020.
Honestly, for the seat of inevitable disaster that it is, scientist and engineers are persistent in pointing out that the pit is safe and contained for now and will be until 2020 when the water finally rises to the point that it will infect the water table. And those guys are pretty smart. Except that the Berkley Pit happened in the first place. But that’s us. Pretty smart until we’re pretty dumb."
"I explained the study to my university acquaintance. A heterosexual man and woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions. Then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The most tantalizing detail: Six months later, two participants were married. They invited the entire lab to the ceremony.
“Let’s try it,” he said.
Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers. Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening.
I Googled Dr. Aron’s questions; there are 36. We spent the next two hours passing my iPhone across the table, alternately posing each question."
And how did that go?
"The questions reminded me of the infamous boiling frog experiment in which the frog doesn’t feel the water getting hotter until it’s too late. With us, because the level of vulnerability increased gradually, I didn’t notice we had entered intimate territory until we were already there, a process that can typically take weeks or months.
You’re probably wondering if he and I fell in love. Well, we did. Although it’s hard to credit the study entirely (it may have happened anyway), the study did give us a way into a relationship that feels deliberate. We spent weeks in the intimate space we created that night, waiting to see what it could become.
Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be."
There's also an article by another guy trying this in Wired magazine. The questions are reprinted there on page 2 and 3.
"Take part in a psychological experiment, and make friends fast," I scribbled on the whiteboard where session hosts competed for delegates' attention. The brave 18 people curious enough to show up discovered that this was no false advertising: the experiment really did promote incredibly fast bonding.
Lo and behold, most participants in my Stream study reported experiencing an intense feeling of having bonded with their experiment partner within 45 minutes. "We certainly became very close in an extremely short period of time," one participant said; another said with surprise that she had revealed things that not even her boyfriend knew. Some pairs of new friends were still taking two hours later.
"I'm glad it worked so well, and I was happy to hear the procedure has been applied in such a real world setting," Arthur Aron said when I shared the results with him. "The effect is based not just on reciprocal self-disclosure, but on gradually escalating reciprocal self-disclosure." In the original experiment, he said, "we also tested an intense version of this with cross-sex couples - and the first ones we tested fell in love and got married. And as of last year, when I last had contact with them, they were still together."
Okay, seriously, that wigs me out. I say this as like, literally the pickiest person on the planet who hasn't had any remote interest in anyone for an embarrasingly long time. Like, if they sat me down with someone who really creeps me out--let's say the usual 60-year-old hairy creepy dudes who are usually the only folks interested in me--and made me do this, then I'd want a dude I normally get the creeps by? Really?
No, I'm not going to test that. But if you think about it, you could like, force people to fall in love. It'd be a good way to deal with arranged marriages. If you have some friend who always picks horrible men, you could set her up with a vetted nice one and do this and finally, she's with someone not psycho. If you're desperate to find someone to be your babydaddy, find some random "nice enough" dude who also wants kids and start this process up and there ya go! Problem solved!
"There is considerable research on initial attraction and falling in love, but we still don't know all the variables involved. The main picture at the moment is that the factors that predict falling in love have relatively little to do with who the otehr person is. The typical pattern of falling in love is that you meet someone at a time in your life where it is appropriate or desirable for you (such as after a breakup) to fall in love, the person is reasonably attractive and appropriate for you, and the person does something that you can interpret as indicating the person is interested in you. We also know that certain people are more likely to fall in love in general, particularly those who have an insecure childhood (especially having had a mother who was inconsitent in being available); also those who experience emotions especially intensely, such as those who are highly sensitive (based on my wife's research on the highly senstivie person)."
I originally saw this on Metafilter and thought this was a good point:
"I have a cold, black heart, but I feel like the general lesson laid out by the article is that if you want to fall in love with someone, you should ask them about themselves, pay attention to what they're talking about, and let the manner and method of how they're answering your questions lead the way, which just seems like a standard human thing -- with few exceptions, people tend to enjoy talking about themselves, especially to interested-seeming onlookers.
So it really seems like question 27 is the only one that really matters -- "If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know" -- and everything else is just garnish. Oh, and I guess you're also supposed to stare at the other person for a while, so the last question really needs to be, "Hey, would it be OK if I stared at you in silence for the next four minutes?" or the person whose idea it was to ask all these eerily intimate questions is probably going to get ditched and/or pepper-sprayed."
I have a coworker who insists on listening to country music (loudly, no headphones, nothing) for 9 hours a day, whether she's even here or not. It was determined to be OK before I got here, so I can't say anything against it. I never listen to any one radio station for more than a couple of hours straight at a time, so I usually don't (on my own time) have to deal with listening to the same damn songs played A MINIMUM OF FOUR FUCKING TIMES IN A DAY. Irritating songs. Particularly when they are country songs with loud, irritating, bleating hooks ("HEY, BARTENDER!!!!!!!!!) that headphones will not block out.