Speed-Reading Book Nerd Reviews

Battle Ground

By Jim Butcher.

Previous book here. 

In the last book, giant supernatural war has been declared on Chicago. In this book, probably about 75% of it is JUST battles against the big bad Titan trying to destroy everyone. I don't have much to say about that, probably because (a) battles are hard for me to follow anyway in general and (b) seriously, most of this book is one. Some folks die. Some folks get injured. Some folks come through. Some folks REALLY come through. That's all I'm going to say about the overall plot before hitting spoiler territory.

This book kind of reminds me of Turning Darkness Into Light because I may not have been super into most of the book, but then the end starts dropping bombs all over. Not quite on the level of reading Changes, mind you, but still fairly major, maybe more akin to Ghost Story?

I give whopping props to Waldo Butters, and especially Toot-Toot, in this one. Wow, little guy. And we get all different shades of Mab, which is very intriguing. 

Less props: still don't get the "starborn" thing, whatever that is. That's annoying. 

Anyway, what I can say in the non huge spoiler zone? Uh, pretty much this is it. The rest of the review goes below the spoiler cut. I'll give it three and a half stars and then we'll discuss the rest later. There is a short story at the end that takes place a few days later (on Christmas), in which Harry gets gifts, and it's sweet. That's what I'll say to that. 

Quote Corner (not that spoilery, I swear):

• "Why must you make everything more complicated?" -Lara "It's kind of my best feature." -Harry
• "I chose you for times precisely such as these, when an elemental of destruction is what is most needed." -Mab. I guess that explains that.... as well as "From the first time I laid eyes upon you, I saw a being who had the potential for true greatness. It is almost time for you to begin to understand it yourself. And once you do, once you understand, we will do great things together."
• Fun fact: Vadderung and Uriel "have lunch once a year." 
• Regarding Toot-Toot: "I wonder what it says about me that pizza has been one of the better long-term investments in my career." -Harry
• "Knock knock. Oh, come on. Here I am facing death and telling you a knock-knock joke. Why would I do such a thing? Eternity is a long time to wonder about a punch line. Knock-knock." -Harry
• On insulting bad guys: "Mr. Dancy Pants?" I asked River Shoulders. The Sasquatch shrugged. "Better than 'Hey, you ugly.'" 
• "That's because I don't want nothing to do with you and your weird shit, Dresden," Lamar said. Lamar is one of the more sensible people I've ever met." 
• "My scrotum attempted to travel back in time." 
• "I'd never been in an epic mythology fight quite this epic before." 
• "Don't care how Titanic you are. No one expects an orbital-drop grizzly." 
• "In the interests of efficiency, let us assume you have uttered some mystifying reference to mortal popular nonsense, I have glared at you and reminded you of the power I hold over you, you have confirmed that you continue to understand the circumstances that require me to tolerate your insouciance, and we have both agreed to continue this ridiculous dance in the future, presumably for the remainder of time." -Mab
• "Mab didn't usually get into meta-discussions about the nature of our relationship." -Harry

Peace Talks

By Jim Butcher.

Previous book here. 

I should be putting this behind spoiler space, but honestly, I'm not in the mood and it's been so long since I read this series I feel like a refresher is needed. It's been several years since the last book and I had forgotten various details since the last book that have changed. Or maybe they just changed between this book and the last? I don't know any more. But anyway, I mostly got back into the Dresdenverse, I was just kinda "hmm, wait, what?" at times. Like Harry has a new place to live and is finally romantically together with Karrin Murphy. And I don't even remember the "starborn" thing (apparently Harry was born at just the right time for ....something....?). I know it's a tedious thing for an author to have to recap at the beginning of a book all the shit that happened before like it's a Baby-Sitters Club book, but after a long break in the series, I wouldn't have minded a bit of "this is what happened in the last book" because even I don't remember it like it's fresh and new and this picks up something like 6 weeks after Skin Game. 

Anyway: there's going to be a big ol' gathering of all of the supernatural powers in Chicago for peace talks (hah), and of course Harry has to be at this one way or another, due to still doing two jobs. This would probably be tricksy enough, except for Harry's brother Thomas, who announces that he's somehow gotten his girlfriend Justine pregnant. And then after that, Thomas does something completely violent and out of character that pisses off a good chunk of the supernatural community, and he is in no shape to even explain why the hell he did it. (Though one presumes that Thomas was put up to it, forced into it, something.) Harry and Thomas's other sibling Lara, and their various friends/associates, have to figure out what the heck to do to keep Thomas alive.

AND THEN SOME REAL BAD GUYS COME INTO TOWN AND CHANGE EVERYTHING. Like "outing the supernatural to all of Chicago" everything. Like "lots of deaths" everything. Like "you're gonna have to find out in the next book what goes down" everything. This is why when I heard that this book ends on a cliffhanger and the next book came out in two months, I waited to read it until I didn't have to worry about that cliffhanger stuff. Jim Butcher wanted it all into one book, publishers don't allow that, what can you do, shrug emoji that I'm too lazy to look up. 

I feel like I am not doing the best at explaining this plot, this review does it better. 

Aspects of the book to discuss:

• Harry is horny: Well, yes, this is a bit more explicit than usual. At least some of that Harry blames on the Winter mantle encouraging sex and violence. While Harry's sexual activities with his actual girlfriend Karrin are delicately brushed over, this book is clear that Harry still finds Lara sexually attractive and vice versa, but it's still not happening. Okay, whatever. It is kinda literally what her body does anyway.
• Harry and Karrin: I think it's pretty obvious that if the author does any kind of OTP stuff, it's with Karrin. I have always felt neutral about them as a pairing and well....I still do. It's fine. I'm not blown away or anything. I hope they're happy, though given the aforementioned horniness for Lara (who, to be fair, that's just a thing she does as a vampire), I kinda wonder a bit. Also, at this point Karrin is too permanently injured (unless someday this gets fixed magically, anyway, though in this book no) to get into fights in the same way, which might affect things since they can't quite Battle Couple as usual. 
• Like this review, not sure what the point of "conjuritis" is as yet. It does seem like a random dumb thing that might happen to a magical teenager due to puberty, so why is this a thing now? Jim Butcher doesn't seem like the sort to put that in there without some kind of Chekhovian payoff later, though. But so far it seems like something that would have fit in better with Harry Potter.
• There is dramaz about how Ebenezer doesn't know that Thomas is his grandson and he spends the entire book in a snit that Harry wants to help out a vampire. You'd think that after years of knowing Harry and how Harry has good reasons for having the friends he does, but noooooo. Mostly I would have been like "okay, whatever" about this, but at one point the fight gets ugly and you're like daaamn, how do you come back from that? 
• I do concur with the second review I linked to that the SUPER BAD GUY does just roll into town, blow shit up, and there you go, cliffhanger, more or less. So....yeah.
• While we never do find out what the hell is with Thomas's life choices--we can only assume he's been put up to it--the resolution of sorts as to what to do with him is....an interesting choice on the author's part. 
• I do enjoy Harry's various frenemy relationships. Like he and Mab seem to have some kind of fairly cordial relationship going on here--he says "Trust me" and she lets him ride--and I do really enjoy every time Harry spends time with Lara, whether or not it's sexy. They are similar in how they think in some ways, which he points out. And while Harry always likes to get growly about Baron John Marcone, I always kinda think....y'know, Marcone's not so bad? He does mostly seem to stand up for fighting the evil and whatnot. 
• I do like that the Bad Thing happening toward the end essentially just outed magic to the world. I do love a masquerade reveal, even though that sort of thing makes Harry very reasonably nervous. 
• Ends on a cliffhanger: I dunno on this. It's so clearly the Publisher's Decision on this one that I can't really fault the author, since he wanted it all at once and any issues with that, well.... I do think it's a bit hard to judge on the setup as to where it's going  It doesn't resolve the Big Bad situation, obviously, but it does do some interesting things with the Thomas situation and Harry's family (even Lara), even if that's not totally done. 

Overall, I think I give it three and a half stars. We'll see where it goes. Happy to have the series back. 

Quote Corner:

• "And since I've noticed that my life at times resembles a badly written Mexican soap opera...." -Harry
• "Dresden, this chivalrous self-identity thing you have going is often endearing. But right now, I want to kick it in the nuts."-Karrin
• "Okay, look. You're going to have to trust me on this one. Having a friggin' Tyrannosaurus rex roaring out the tune of "Happy Birthday to You" at full volume is an entirely appropriate birthday present for Waldo Butters." -Harry
• "Sometimes the best defense is a T-rex." -Harry
• "Could be that a diplomatic solution is the best one."
  "Who are you, and what have you done with Harry Dresden?"
  "I don't prefer to blow things up and burn things down. It just sort of works out that way." -Harry and Waldo.
• "You're one of my favorite frenemies." -Harry to Lara, which really sums it all up, doesn't it? 

Not Pounded By Anything While I Practice Responsible Social Distancing

By Chuck Tingle. 

WRITTEN BEFORE I START READING THIS:

I do not claim to understand the man/myth/legend/whatever that is Chuck Tingle. Is it real, is it not, is it all some odd act, I have no clue. I do appreciate that Chuck Tingle is on the side of the good guys in politics and obviously has a sense of humor about things like Hugo nomination. On the other hand, I do not have any kind of fascination with buttsex (I watched "Bend Over Boyfriend" and that's about all I felt like doing of that), and frankly, his spelling and grammar in like literally every interview/Twitter post of his I have ever seen pains me greatly to read, which also leads me in the "is this real?!?" direction. I've been told that someone ("son name of Jon") edits these things so they don't read like that, but I am still suspicious.

For those two reasons, I have so far avoided reading a Tingler.

However, given my general fascination with weird Internet shit, I did say to myself that if there was ever a free Tingler that doesn't involve buttsex, I'd read it. And guess what, there is one. So.... let's see how this goes. 

THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE READING THIS:

• As per rumor, this book is written in usual grammar and syntax and not making my eyes bleed, thank god. Otherwise this experiment would have been over in paragraph one.
• This book features a "trotting plague," which is about actual trotting and not having a case of diarrhea, thank god, which is what I kinda expected from seeing this word.
• Our narrator, Bill, decides to practice handwashing and responsible social distancing, canceling going to events and cafes, doing elbow bumping, and no longer gong to the "yearly hug party" his grandparents are throwing.
• I winced at "hug party" and got sad.
• Actually the writing style is very nice, kinda lyrical even. Is the same guy doing the interviews that does the writing of these things....?
• Direct quote: "Do I really need to avoid content with everyone? I was only gonna skip the spit contest and the hug party." 
• Bill oopses that he forgot he had a scheduled lunch date. WITH A DINOSAUR. Where does one find a dinosaur to date? Dare I ask?
• "I know we were going to pound each other tonight, but right now I can't be pounded. I'm socially distancing."
• "I just trotted a bit and now I think it's best for me to postpone the bone."
• Bill also had a date with Mario and Amber, the "bigfeet." Again, where are you finding these dates? I'm sure there has got to be SOME interesting website for that.
• Also, Bill was going to date AN ENTIRE UNICORN BASEBALL TEAM. Good god, I can't imagine the ass soreness from literally all of that pounding you....and I'm glad I am not gonna read about it, to be honest.
• Bill's dates are very polite about the whole thing. 
• Bill decides to date himself and make himself lasagna. 
• I shudder at the "finely aged chocolate milk from the eighties." Hope you don't die of that, Bill! 
• Now everyone's out of quarantine after a month or so (I go off to cry in the corner for a bit at this) and Bill and all his dates meet up together. Amber learned magic while in quarantine and Mario learned three new languages. 

The actual story is about eleven pages. The rest of the 21 pages is just all Chuck Tingle titles. I will restrain myself from typing them all out, but they are as ridiculous as you'd expect.

Things I have learned from his list of titles: he has categories.

• Dinosaurs
• Unicorns
• Bigfoot
• Living Object
• There are, in fact, lesbian tinglers.
• And also, a category of No Sex Tinglers. I mean, beyond this one. Go figure. 
• There's also trans and bisexual ones
• And guides to life
• And role playing games

MY OVERALL REACTION AFTER READING THIS.

It was better than I expected. Albeit I still wonder where one finds an entire unicorn baseball team to date, not to mention THAT OLD of chocolate milk. 

WHAT DO I RATE THIS?

I dunno, three stars? It's all right. Well written, polite, short, not terribly disturbing and I'm fine with that. 

WILL I EVER READ A TINGLER AGAIN?

I dunno, maybe one of the non-sex ones someday.