This is a very odd, fairly juicy, a bit tacky/gross biography of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, starting after her first husband's death. It shares some details that are just straight up TMI at times and I really wonder how the heck he knew these things, because Jackie doesn't quite seem like the type to dish that level of detail? Hmmmmmmmm. I'm talking sex, periods (guess what other blood she was covered in after her husband got shot in the head), penises, etc. Oy. I know this came out after her death, but that kinda makes me glad that she didn't know that was all outed. Blech. I felt dirty in the bad way.
Other moments:
- Someone brings in a priest for her to confess too after her first husband's death: "What am I supposed to confess, Father? That I neglected to watch the calendar and ate meat some Friday three months ago?"
- There's explanation of the whole "Camelot" thing, which it sounds like Jackie made up more than being a thing Jack was into, per se.
- Black Jack Bouvier used to tell his kid which of her friends' mothers he'd slept with. Class-ay.
- Jackie's miscarriages might have been caused by all the antibiotics Jack was on for chlamydia.
- "It was a huge mistake for Harding to lecture Jackie Kennedy about history."
- Jackie: "Anybody who is against me will look like a rat unless I run off with Eddie Fisher."
Reasons why Aristotle Onassis was horrible:
- Used to date her sister. A quote from her sister: "Ari has showered Jackie with so many presents, I can't stand it. All I've got is three dinky little bracelets that Caroline wouldn't even wear to her own birthday party."
- To quote Jack Kennedy: "Onassis is an international pirate." He did not want her to tour around on his yacht while he was still alive.
- Was making moves on Jackie RIGHT after her husband died.
- Liked to describe, in great detail, of how he had sex with other women.
- I'm not even repeating all the butt stuff.
- Girlfriend beater.
- Married a 17-year-old when he was 40.
- He liked to burn his first with with his cigar. "Every Greek, and there are no exceptions, beats his wife. It is good for them. It keeps them in line."
- A quote from Maria Callas's friend: "Of course he loves you. That's why he yells and abuses you and puts you down. If he didn't love you he would just ignore you and be totally indifferent to you."
THIS IS NOT HOW LOVE SHOULD WORK.
- How Jackie announces her engagement to Ari to Bobby Kennedy: "I've agreed to marry Ari. In principle." Whaaaaaaat?
- So many people got invited to the wedding that Ari's own kids didn't have a bedroom, anywhere to sleep, and asked to sleep with the ship's captain.
- "There was no kiss to mark the end of the ceremony. Not even a smile, or a clasping of hands."
- We're told that someone did walk in and find them having sex on the plane. Ewwww.
- Quote from Ari: "She's got to learn to reconcile herself to being Mrs. Aristotle Onassis, because the only place she'll find sympathy from now on is in the dictionary between shit and syphilis."
- "During the first year of their marriage, the couple spent a total of 225 days together and 140 days apart. Their record of togetherness in the second year was even more dismal."
- I'll say this for their relationship: at one point Jackie learned CPR in case Ari had a heart attack. Ari: "People say Jackie and I don't get along. But how does a wife who is not getting along with her husband take lessons on how to save him from a heart attack? No! She doesn't. She gives him a heart attack. And then she collect his money."
- Ari's ex-wife Tina married her ah....former brother-in-law who "was widely suspected of having murdered his previous wife, Tina's own sister." Ewwwwwwww. Of course the guy's also a business rival of Ari's. These people.
I couldn't wait for Ari to die, y'all.
Other moments:
- There's not much on Jackie's longterm relationship with Maurice Templesman in this (I swear, even her more casual boyfriends get talked about more), but guess what, he was married. "It is simply part of Maurice's nature to run after women."
- Quote from Jackie: "I don't see why American girls don't just carry bunches of asparagus at their weddings."
- When she was dying, the last time she went out to Le Cirque, she finally ordered all the desserts and actually ate them.
I guess four stars for honesty (quite a lot of it) and frankness, even if I felt a little oogy at times reading it.