"So, to succeed in my new job, I basically need to be an asexual, androgynous, human robot that's dead to all physical and emotional sensation."
Cassie Hanwell is a female firefighter. She's extremely good at her job and gets along great with her coworkers in Austin, and has even won an award...But when the guy who did A Very Bad Thing* to her as a teenager turns out to be the guy giving her the award...and then he gropes....well, Cassie suddenly beats the shit out of him with said award in front of everyone.
- You can certainly guess what this was, though the actual word isn't said .
Cassie was on the promotion track, now she's on the "possibly gonna get fired for that" track. However, around the same time her mother's told her that she's lost vision in one eye and needs Cassie to move to the Boston area to help her out...but only for a year. Cassie's been estranged from her mother since her mother left her dad for another man on Cassie's 16th birthday and of course she says hell no, but clearly the universe has set things up to make Cassie move anyway.
Before she goes, her female captain gives her huge warnings: Cassie's only been in places that wanted her, and her new captain straight up hates female firefighters, but he's desperate and had 2 people retire. The captain gives her the rundown: nothing feminine about you whatsoever, don't cry, don't date, don't do anything further to remind people of your gender. Uck, but there it is.
Actually, the job isn't too bad at first. Sure, the guys are grumbly about having to hide the porn, and they do pranks (well, she's fine with that, used to that), and the station is rundown as heck and missing useful medical things, but it could be worse. However, there is the rookie. Who is gorgeous and sweet and enlightened and adorable, if it a bit easily squicked out by the medical aspects of the job. Cassie's paired with him pretty frequently and even though she tries to avoid him, she fell at first sight when she's never loved anyone before--she's never gone there after That Guy. But oh dear god, she can't date him or even be slightly partial to him.
Of course, this is a romance, so...suffice it to say she starts heading towards that ledge, in a manner of speaking. But then when budget cuts hit and one of them has to get canned--someone starts giving Cassie the hazing/stalking treatment she was warned about, and then there's a significant fire...I'll discuss more below the spoiler cut, but suffice it to say that the last section of the book really heats up, plotwise. I love how Cassie calls out these guys, saying that they're supposed to be heroes, but instead someone's throwing a brick through her mother's window.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book (I got it from the library and am getting it for Christmas as a keeper). I love Cassie and how she's turned herself into a buff lady who nobody should ever be able to mishandle again. She's avoided all relationship stuff since age 16 and she's still openly resentful of her mother for leaving in the way that she did. Her mother acknowledges that she did wrong, but there were extenuating circumstances going on that forced her hand, more or less. There is definitely some dynamics going on about being a "man's woman" (i.e. "technically I'm a girl but let's try to forget that?") at her job, vs. being around her mother and her mother's best friend, who are crafters. While Cassie doesn't go full softy necessarily, she learns that it's okay and safe to have a more womanly side when she wants to--and I enjoyed that the guys at her work realize that too by the end.
The rookie that she falls for....well, I think it's pretty weird how she literally tries to avoid learning so much as his NAME (it's a little ridiculous that we don't find out his full name until like 180 pages in!). I certainly get trying to avoid him for her own career safety, but the name thing's a little dumb. Btw, I would like to say that between this book and What You Wish For, the author writes "love at first sight, but we still have more plot to go through and things don't just start easily" very, very well. The rookie is SUPER sweet and adorable and totally worthy, and isn't it nice to see a guy who's actually worthy of someone?
I'll talk about the end below the spoiler cut, but this is highly recommended by me. Four and a half stars.
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There's a big fire that both badly hurts the rookie and reveals to Cassie who the harasser is--someone with issues of his own. I do like how Cassie dealt with the situation--both having sympathy but also being pissed but also, y'know, just dealing with it? And it resolves well, so I was happy there.
I also find it very interesting how at the beginning, Cassie's female captain gives her a list of stuff like "never cry, never fall in love" and by the end, she's ended up doing ALL of it in front of her coworkers--and they end up still respecting her in the end. And actually finding her relationship with the rookie to be romantic and being on her side! Awwwww! That was great. Her GIANT love confession to the entire firehouse at the hospital--wow, the nerve. The open feelings. Wow.
I was shocked that when Cassie finally spills the entire awful story of what happened to her--something she hasn't done with anyone she's closer to--it's to the guy who went after her. That's both shocking and horrifying, but at the same time they're talking about going through bad shit, so there you go. That's nerve, girl.
I did guess (given the "year" timeline) that her mother was dying,,but I do like that she lasted longer than expected.
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