Speed-Reading Book Nerd Reviews

At Ease: Stories I Tell My Friends

By Dwight D. Eisenhower.

 

I figured I'd finish off my reading of Eisenhower by reading some of his own writing. This title sounded like something light and fun, but really it's just an autobiography of his childhood, his military career, and his career in academia. It ends right as he decides to run for president.

 

This is pretty straightforward...by which I mean, kinda dull. He gives off square 1950 vibes for sure and while I'm sure he's factual, he's not very lively about any of it. I was mildly bored and dredged through this for months, basically. It's not badly written, but a solid three star review here of "not gonna remember this once I'm done" either.

 

"I had reread Grant's memoirs, which I had always admired because of their simplicity and lack of pretension." This sounds about the same here, except I think Eisenhower possibly put more interesting bits in other books he wrote. I try to bookmark interesting bits while reading to mention in a review, but this one, well, I didn't have that many bookmarks and some of them, when I pulled them, made me think, "What the heck did I think might have been interesting here?"

 

Notable:

 

"The most dramatic difference between high schools of today and those of my time is probably not in the curriculum but in the life expectancy of the students. Then, except for the common cold and chillblains, any illness might easily be fatal." He notes that he nearly lost a limb from skinning a knee.

 

I did read his version of the "Mamie drives to visit him" story from a previous book. "She wanted the whole road to herself and I must say she needed it."

 

Dwight (a heavy chainsmoker, apparently) went to England and wasn't allowed to smoke until after the toast to the King had been drunk. Oops-ness ensued, and he apologized and then said, "Last night was the end of my attendance at formal dinners in London" over it. A few days later he refused to go to a formal dinner, and then the inviter (one infamous Louis Mountbatten) said not to worry about the smoking thing and come. Mountbatten did a quickie toast and then said, "General, smoke all you want." 

 

I like how it's mentioned that George Allen got a commemorative tablet put up at his home, saying:

"N.O.N. Historical Society. At this spot on February 29, 1776 Absolutely Nothing Happened."

 

Dwight was so addicted to editing and changing things on documents that he had to have them triple spaced and wide margins for extra room and he frequently couldn't read his own notes.

 

When going to work at Columbia University, he tried to get into his office on a weekend and the campus policeman wouldn't let him in. "When I added that my name was Eisenhower, his countenance and firm stand against my entrance changed not an iota. Nor did it when I assured him that I was President of the University."  Finally another policeman came along and vouched for him. He had a similar experience later on while trying to go look around the fine arts department. 

 

I like that Dwight mentions that he paints, but he considered his paintings "daubs" rather than paintings, and clearly he didn't like how most of his portraits came out because he destroyed more of them than he kept. 

 

"At one point I attended a dinner where there were three previous speakers. Each had gone on at considerable length and as the evening threatened to become morning, I decided to set aside my own text. When the time came to speak, I stood up, said that every speech, written or otherwise, had to have punctuation, "Tonight, I am the punctuation--the period," and sat down. It was one of my most popular addresses."  

 

Three stars. Okay but not memorable.

How To Be A Victorian: A Dawn-to-Dusk Guide to Victorian Life

By Ruth Goodman.

For anyone wondering where I've been, or why the hell I still haven't written up "Be the Serpent" yet, I'm currently in an extremely involving production of "A Christmas Carol: The Musical," in which the ensemble is in almost every scene or is changing clothes and in every rehearsal and any spare time I've had has been going to my Halloween costume. After we launch this weekend, hopefully I have more time to do well, anything else.

 

However, during breaks, I've been reading this book, recommended to me by a castmate who was already reading it. I didn't know anything about Ruth Goodman's bona fides or what she does as a day job exactly before reading it,, but it sounded like re-creating and re-enacting historical practices is Her Thing. Sure 'nuff, Amazon bills her as a historian who's done TV shows on re-enacting period life on the BBC.

 

The book is exactly what it says on the tin, with each chapter covering say, waking up in the morning, meals, work, recreation time, all the way to nookie in the back of the book. It's totally a research book and not something with plot beyond that, but I did enjoy the author's personal asides about things at times warming up the narration, such as talking about switching from Tudor to Victorian corsets being something she physically adjusted to moving-wise pretty well, but she broke out into horrible rashes and started having issues with her voice. I also enjoyed the snarking about how crinolines are fun, but make you Very Drafty Down Below. She notes that wearing modern-day costumes made with modern-day techniques just aren't the same, going into great detail about how each outfit changes how you are able to move.

"I have made and worn a variety of Victorian women's clothes; suffered through numerous corsets and sworn at several sowing machines; hand-sewn whole outfits in styles up to the mid-1850's; and persevered with hand-turned and treadle-driven (powered by the worker's feet) machines while making later clothes from the period. I have learned the techniques for 'fanning' a corset, for handling horsehair, and I have spent hours drawing threads for handkerchief edgings. It has been enjoyable, time consuming and extremely interesting. There is no single resource that can make you better understand and appreciate the written accounts of the time. And if the making has taught me a great deal, so has the wearing." 

There's also a section on "stay bands," i.e. more or less corsets for toddlers, and how the author's 2-year-old wanted her own. She loved it! 

 

I did crack up at a photo of an extremely hot pink outfit, with the caption, "The newly invented chemical dyes exploded on the fashion scene after 1856. For the next fifteen years, it was not possible to be too brightly dressed."

 

And frankly, some things are goddamned horrifying and now you know why Victorians died so damn easily during this time period. Like I walked up to my castmate after reading the drugs chapter and she was all, "I KNOW!!!!"  "Morphine, opium, cocaine, laudanum, heroin, chloroform, ether, aspirin and cannabis were all purchasable, without any form of medical supervision, and all for a very few pence, at any pharmacist's shop by the end of the century." OH GOOD GOD I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS. 

 

There's an entire chapter on "A Trip to the Privy," which I read during a lunch break at the theater, during which the custodian came in and was told about ah, a particular disaster in the men's room. Very fitting :P I also read about "The Great Stink of 1858," which I will not elaborate on further. Also, of course, women are always the ones cleaning the chamber pots, while "most men were blissfully able to walk away from this dirtiest of tasks." I note that those weren't intended for #2 and more for middle of the night pees. Make darn sure you always put it in the same place, everyone has their own pot, and put the lid on! 

 

The author points out that "hunger is at the root of" the historical Victorian experience, as most people were quite short due to malnutrition, especially the poorer people. The author mentions that her appetite and food preferences temporarily changed while living a Victorian lifestyle. "Foods that I would simply dismiss in my twenty-first-century lifestyle became delicious." Mediterranean foods became "thin and unsubstantial" and she developed an appetite for pig's trotters and jellied pig's heads. "My body was telling me in no uncertain terms that it needed plenty of carbohydrates and animal fats to sustain the Victorian lifestyle." She lost interest in strong flavorings as well. However, her actual weight never changed even with all that hard work. 

 

As for the sex chapter...attitudes varied between "It's healthy for a man to have a wife and a bunch of prostitutes" vs. "He should be curbing his lust!" I was particularly flabbergasted by the reusable condom made out of sheep's guts that was delicately tied on, then washed out and allowed to dry before re-use. I was amused that the author "attempted to make such condoms," but it sounds like she wasn't able to exactly replicate all the precise details. 

Anyway: I think this is a comprehensive review of the topic, and the author tries to make it lively where she can and create plotlines (of sorts) when following people in history here and there. So, four stars. However, this NYT review frankly does an even better job of covering this book than I do.

"One of the great pleasures of “How to Be a Victorian”? There’s a shudder on almost every page."

 

Ike and Mamie: The Story of the General and His Lady

By Lester David and Irene David.

When picking out presidential biographies to read, I lean towards (a) something reasonably comprehensive as to what they did in their lives/in office, and (b) any book I can find that shows some presidential personality. The last book I read on Eisenhower didn't have too much of it, but this book has it in spades. It's a dual biography of husband and wife, though it leans more towards a biography of Mamie as affected by Ike than a book that goes too much into say, Ike's presidential work. I found it lively to read and got through it very quickly, which is impressive. 

The book's argument is that Mamie was more independent and stronger than she let on in public, even though she wasn't one of the more prominent first ladies. 

Fun facts:

• Mamie's parents decided to show up the morning after their wedding at the hotel to "surprise" them with a packed family car to ride home in. Ike's reaction to this is not documented.
• Mamie lived in 37 different places, ranging from "a bat-infested shanty" to palaces to the White House.
• Mamie was raised as a rich girl, not a chef. Ike did the cooking. All she learned at cooking school was to mix mayonnaise.
• Mamie's dad had given them a car, which she did not know how to drive that particular model of (and it wasn't very reliable anyway). Nevertheless, she hauled ass to go see Ike one day at a camp, driving into ditches at least six times and somehow bouncing out, weaving into opposite lanes and ditches...luckily for her she was driving at the crack of dawn and not too many people were driving. Ike insisted on teaching her how to drive before she headed home, but eventually she stopped driving entirely.
• I felt very bad for them losing their first son, "Icky," (what a nickname), to scarlet fever. They had a second son, John, who for obvious reasons Mom was very protective of. At one point John was a pilot and Mamie enlisted pilot Jacqueline Cochran to investigate his flying situation. Jacqueline agreed once she found out he didn't have that much flying experience and talked him out of a long trip.
• Supposedly their marriage was in trouble (not exactly shocking) after their first son died. One lady suggested that Mamie, and I quote, "vamp him." I guess it worked!
• John apparently created a "Hindenburg Line" at school, where he and his buddies threw chalk at people and included the teacher. "He draws the curtain on what happened at home when his father found out, and so will we." 
• To quote an employee of theirs: "There I was, twenty-six years old, in the Army, a big boy. And she was afraid I'd hear naughty language."
• Amusingly, everyone but Ike found out before he did that he was getting his fourth star. One guy heard it on the BBC first! He cussed a lot on that topic.
• Mamie had a very good time meeting people as First Lady, shaking 600-700 hands a day. 
• Mamie got VERY upset when the dog peed on a fancy carpet, pouting about how they couldn't get the stain out for weeks. Ike's response: "Mamie, I've got a few other things more important than that to worry about." Legit. 
• The grandkids got to meet Khruschev and hit it off with him. When asked to talk about this in school, grandson David, a sixth grader, said something like "If I didn't know any better I'd be a Communist because Khruschev was such a nice guy." "It made the family kind of unhappy with me." 
• When Mamie was staying in the hospital with Ike, she specifically requested having a pink toilet seat. Of course the hospital didn't have that and they wondered if it'd be risky if they painted one but it wasn't dry on time. Reasonably presuming that Mamie had gotten one in Washington before, they called the White House and got one. FAVORITE FACT OF THIS BOOK.
• Second favorite fact: the words "He had a good bowel movement" being shared with the press all around the world. 
• Mamie got a reputation for being an alcoholic (especially during the war/Kay rumor years), but it turns out she had vertigo/Meniere's. 

A lot of the book--seriously, it's just chapters and chapters on this topic--is dedicated to whether or not Ike and his wartime chauffeur Kay Summersby had an affair or not. The authors literally interview everyone still alive and prove over and over and over again that THEY DID NOT, even if Kay published a book at the end of her life (while she was dying of cancer and presumably needed the money) indicating otherwise, mostly citing that she never said anything of the sort under normal circumstances, there would have been plenty of eyewitnesses had they been, etc. Supposedly the rumor was started by Truman, who hated Eisenhower anyway.

This book doesn't really go into Ike's work, but I note that his entire second term is talked about in only TWO PAGES and then goes one-two-skip-a-few to the end. 

But overall, I was amused and entertained, so four stars there. 

Dwight D. Eisenhower

By Tom Wicker.

Another American Presidents book series. Honestly, I found this pretty dull (I'm somewhat reminded of the boring McKinley book, but this is at least better than that), but it could just be me, my mood, or not much interest in the subject matter. Who really remembers Eisenhower anyway? He's sandwiched in between two far more interesting people.

Anyway, notable bits from this book:

• "Eisenhower was not hostile to blacks or oblivious to their problems..." but that said, apparently he wasn't into integration either. Ugh. 
• Quote from Nixon: "I was just Ike's prat boy. Ike always had to have a prat boy, someone who'd do the dirty work for him...." Uck.
• Eisenhower got razzed for Sputnik/letting the Russians beat us. Attempts to catch up didn't go so well.
• When asked to give a major idea of Nixon's, Eisenhower bitched that, "If you gave me a week, I might think of one, I don't remember." 
• Apparently a standout thing about Eisenhower was his farewell speech warning people of the military industrial complex. 
• His personal tastes and hobbies were...basically 1950's boring, to sum it up. Or as his son put it, "strictly cornball."
• He enjoyed badmouthing people too.

So so far, none of this was great, right? BUT. In the last chapter, the author finally recounts the time that he met and hung out with Eisenhower for a week while writing about his travels, and really enjoyed it and thought he was great. They flew around on his plane. "I had never supported him politically, but I was totally taken with him as a person." The author says he was a presence, never made him feel uncomfortable to be around a Great Man, had a magnetic quality to him. "I never spent another personal moment with him, but forty years later, to me, Ike is still a commanding presence." Too bad the rest of this book isn't as personable as the end of it. "In putting together this book, I have tried not to let that well-remembered presence influence my judgment or conclusions," the author states. I can see that, but maybe more personality would have helped this book?

In the end, the author dubs him "a great man--but not quite a great president." He didn't have super major incidents going on, he prevented war but didn't really make any peace, the world was about the same when he left office. "It seems unnecessary to try to make him out a great president," the author concludes.

I guess?

Two and a half stars.

The Accidental President: Harry S Truman and the Four Months that Changed the World

By A.J. Baime.

Obviously reading the last two Truman books, I found the first four months of his presidency a lot more interesting than the rest of it. Hence why I threw in a third book focusing on that. It was indeed comprehensive and bringing the situation at the time to life, which I really appreciated. This book "poses a new thesis" about how he had the most challenging four month period in any American presidency. Truman was an ordinary guy--no college, never owned his own hoe, never governed a city or state, and became president by accident, in his opinion. I'm not going to list the stuff like the author did, but it's a packed paragraph full of death, falls, victories, etc. "Never had fate shoehorned so much history into such a short period." 

Nobody really knew how the hell Truman ended up with the job, nobody seemed to know much about him and Roosevelt didn't tell him diddly and the secretaries wouldn't return his phone calls. He was pretty much picked for being the least hurtful of the ticket. Someone randomly said, "Anything can happen in this country!" 

I do think it's adorable how Truman fell in love circa age six and never loved anyone else. She was beautiful and popular, he had glasses and was a "sissy." "Harry sat next to Bess Wallace at church school. Somehow he knew already that he would devote his whole life to this one person. It took him five years to get up the courage to say hello." Circa age 26, he finally got somewhere by bringing a cake plate back to the house after her family had gone through hard times and her dad killed himself. I can't help but find that all cute.

I'm amused that the political factions in Truman's area when he first got into politics were called the Goats and the Rabbits. Also there's a quote: "Do you mean seriously to tell me that you actually believe that Truman can be nominated and elected to the United States Senate?" Then later someone says to him, "For the first six months you'll wonder how you got here, and after that you'll wonder how the rest of us got here." 

Also funny: someone calls the house at 3:30 a.m., Bess answers, and hears, "I'd like to congratulate the wife of the senator from Missouri." "I don't think that's funny," Bess yells, slams down the phone....then realizes that was one of the campaign workers. 

I think I got exhausted on bookmarking notes to take the more intense it got here.... you definitely feel bad for Truman having to make literally the worst and hardest decision in the world ever, on very little experience or ANYTHING. "I am going to have to make a decision which no man in history has ever had to make. I'll make the decision but it is terrifying to think about what I will have to decide." There's lots of details on the bomb, dealing with Churchill and Stalin, people's relief at the war ending soon... anyway, I think I've pooped out on writing this review, but these things happen sometimes. I give it four stars if you're into the topic. 

Harry S Truman: The Coming of the Cold War

By Nicole L. Anslover.

This is a pretty short book (the back of it is just compiled speeches so the actual book is 150 pages) but mostly kept it pretty lively. Some aspects of Truman's career I just find dull to read about no matter what, but the rest of it kept me interested.

Notable bits:

• Even though Truman grew up around southerners, "his actions while in office did not reflect his family's prejudices." He used words I won't repeat in personal letters and didn't exactly hang out with African-Americans, BUT he was a believer in equality for all. A quote from Alonzo Hamby: "He remained a racist only in the narrowest sense of the word and was considerably less so than the vast majority of white Americans in the years after World War II." He was also the first president to address the NAACP.  Since the "Dixiecrats" had already left, he didn't have to worry about pleasing them. 
• He was the last American president to not go to college, but he was really into reading and history.
• Truman met his future wife Bess at Sunday school, and it sounds like he fell instantly in love, but it took her years to get interested ack. It didn't help that her family was wealthy and his wasn't. 
• After they got married, they lived in her childhood home with her mother for their entire married life.. Bess really didn't like Washington and stayed in Independence most of the time, which is why we have so many (love) letters from him to her.
• "A life-long reader of history, Truman knew that a battle between Congress and the president could severely hinder a war effort--and he was certain there would eventually be a war for the US. He feared that Roosevelt would have to haggle with Congress in the same sort of back-and-forth way that Lincoln endured during the Civil War. This, Truman knew, could cost lives. Truman was very open about the fact that history was the main inspiration for his ideas." SOUNDS LIKE NOW. 
• Truman is one of the few men to serve as president who truly never wanted the job. 
• Stalin "seems to like it when I hit him with a hammer." Truman got obviously more aggressive in his dealings with Stalin once he found out they had the bomb. "Churchill said "he told the Russians just where they got on and off and generally bossed the whole meeting."
• Truman kinda liked Stalin and debated whether or not to TELL HIM ABOUT THE BOMB. He decided to say that they had developed a weapon of "unusual destructive force," and Stalin took it pretty casually in a "good news!" sort of way. 
• Truman publicly called the bomb "the greatest thing in history" but privately felt bad about all the deaths. Unfortunately,, bombing one city didn't stop the Japanese government. American planes dropped leaflets on Japanese cities warning people about bombing and telling them to evacuate the cities...that didn't work either. It had to take two cities to get results. 
• Truman compared the Congress he was dealing with to Andrew Johnson's, saying they weren't so bad and they'd impeached the guy...
• Truman was the only one who thought he'd win his election. How? Probably based on his own character and being likeable. 
• MacArthur: really wanted to go to war with the Chinese, was very open about that. 
• Truman USED to like Eisenhower until Eisenhower went Republican and started dissing him. This ended the presumed (on Truman's side, anyway) friendship and Eisenhower ignored everything he said. Eisenhower wouldn't even meet with the Trumans before the ceremony and stayed in the car. 
• Even though Truman left with abysmal job approval ratings, "the public now typically ranks him at seventh or eighth in polls of the greatest presidents." 

Three and a half stars. 

Harry S Truman

By Robert Dallek.

It's another American Presidents book! Notable facts:

• Truman on himself: "Because of my efforts to get along with my associates, I was usually able to get what I wanted." Later he rephrases it as "all the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends all his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway." 
• "His investments in two failed bank enterprises convinced him that however uncertain running for political office might be, it was a more reliable career for a middle-aged man with no record of consistent success at anything, except for his two-year army service." 
• Truman on his term as presiding judge of Jackson County: "I wonder if I did the right thing to put a lot of no account sons of bitches on the payroll and pay other sons of bitches more money for supplies than they were worth in order to satisfy the political powers and save $3,500,000." (written in private.)
• "Truman's nomination for the vice presidency in 1944 is one of those political events shrouded in mystery that will never be entirely unraveled." -the author.
• James MacGregor Burns, biographer of FDR: "The President never...pursued a more Byzantine course than in his handling of this question."
• Truman had ONE LUNCH MEETING with Roosevelt during the campaign AND THAT'S IT. He only saw the guy twice during the fourth term., and Roosevelt didn't say SHIT about oh, the bomb, or him dying, or ANYTHING.
• Why use the bomb? They didn't think Tokyo would surrender otherwise, there were likely to be massive casualties for the Americans if they invaded the islands. "The US military chiefs anticipated between 250,000 and 500,000 American deaths in an invasion, which would be roughly equal to all US troop losses to that point in the war." 
• Truman constantly went around saying he never wanted to be president, "practically every time that I see him and I wish he wouldn't." -Harold Ickes. Truman again: "A man in his right mind would never want to be president if he knew what it entails." However, since he had the job, he'd do the best that he could. And "I think the proper thing to do ... is to do what I think is right and let them all go to hell." Whatever was ultimately good for the country as a whole would be best to his political advantage. 
• Truman on the Middle East/Israel/Palestine dilemma: "Jesus Christ couldn't please them when he was on earth, so how could anyone expect that I would have any luck?" 
• Despite ALL OF HIS GRUMBLING about the job, he ran for it again and won anyway. Dewey was a stuffed shirt who thought it'd be a slam dunk so he didn't work so hard, LOL.
• Truman vs. MacArthur reminds me somewhat of Lincoln vs. McClellan and Washington vs. Charles Lee, except with a lot less insults out of MacArthur. "I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a bitch, although he was...I fired him because he wouldn't respect the authority of the President," and also surrounded himself with ass-kissers and "wasn't right in the head." 
• Truman's approval rating fell to 23%. Oy. 

Hm, about three stars? I think I'm feeling brain dead on insight today, read this review instead.

The Personal Librarian

By Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray.

I'm visiting my mother this weekend and she insisted I read this book (and then bring it back ASAP). It's historical fiction based off the real life of Belle da Costa Greene, the personal librarian/art dealer (pretty much) of J.P. Morgan. Belle sounds like a smart, charming, flirtatious, strategic lady who was extremely good at her job and procuring artwork, and she also (fictionally, at least?) did very well at dealing with a mercurial boss.

Oh yeah, and she was a colored woman who was passing as white the entire time. Her father was a famous Harvard graduate/law dean/political advocate guy who was dedicated to fighting for equality. However, her mother's heart was broken with the overturning of the Civil Rights Act, and she concluded after that that the only way to be safe was to pass as white. Her parents broke up over this and he moved to Russia and knocked up a Japanese lady. (He...went to Russia to find a Japanese lady?!) The rest of the family all passed as white and Belle changed her middle and first names to claim a Portuguese grandmother to explain why she wasn't quite as pale as most of the rest of the family. 

Obviously neither me nor the authors know the full extent of her relationships for real, but they do a sizzling job imagining that Belle and her boss had a very close relationship, but it never went very far romantically because Morgan wanted to keep her around instead of having yet another mistress breakup. And while Belle has the occasional fling here and there, she has an off-and-on relationship with Bernard Berenson, an art expert who also hides his own background and is in a happily open relationship. Bernard is...complicated and hard to root for after awhile, but Belle resolves things on her own regarding that one. She also juggles the urge to not have to disown her colored relatives/be open to someone about her secret periodically, while living in fear every time Morgan gets ticky about something that he's figured it out. She also has a frosty relationship with Morgan's daughter Anne, a closeted lesbian who figures out that Belle is colored and always seems cranky about her. Belle points out when Anne or her girlfriends(!) (score, girl, you had two girlfriends!) get nosey at her that she isn't getting nosey about them, and it sounds like they kinda respect her for that. 

Anyway: people in this book are very memorable and filled in very well, and it feels historically accurate while giving us the feels of what it was like to be there. I highly recommend it. Four and a half stars. 

A Secret Life: The Lies and Scandals of President Grover Cleveland

By Charles Lachman.

Reading presidential biographies is very much a mixed bag. If a president is particularly dull, I usually drag myself through reading one book on him at minimum, but if I can find more than one that looks interesting, I'll try some more. 

Compare this previous book on Grover Cleveland (a "bare minimum" American Presidents series one) vs. THIS ONE, which is ALL ABOUT THE JUICY HOT GOSS AND HOW AWFUL CLEVELAND IS. Like DAAAAAMN. Most of this is dedicated to the idea that Cleveland is a rapist. Most of this book is about poor Maria Halpin, the presumed baby momma of Cleveland. This book is allllllllll about how Cleveland raped her and it was NOT any kind of consensual affair and how he ruined her entire life. The author reports in the acknowledgements that it was hard to find anything on the situation until he came across the court proceedings of the libel trial of "Ball vs. The New York Evening Post Corporation," in which people were forced to testify under oath about the situation. I suspect it's a bit novel-ish in that some of the dialogue may have been a bit made up (or at least, heck if I know how he would have gotten certain quotes?), but I enjoy that style, so. 

Cleveland seems like an odd duck when it comes to the topic of relationships. Specifically, the guy DID NOT DATE or have lady friends or a boyfriend a la Buchanan, or anything pretty much ever, except for (a) what happened with Maria Halpin and (b) marrying his best friend's daughter that he knew since birth. Until he got married, he was SUPER BACHELOR. It's odd to think that he one-off raped a lady and never had any other kind of sexual history with anybody that we know of (seriously, the only guy I can think of who did that is the fictional Howard Roark...) when in the world I live in, a bad dude who preys on ladies usually has a looooooong history of preying on ladies. They don't do it once out of nowhere and then stop. I absolutely think Cleveland probably did Maria dirty in a lot of ways especially after she got pregnant, but this being a one-time thing is weird. If it's a one time thing, why did he do that once and then never again? Do I think she made it up? I doubt it, since god knows it wasn't any advantage to her to be telling these particular things. I just don't know or get what the hell went on here or what the motivation was for him to presumably rape/knock her up. Seems weird that he raped one time out of nowhere, seems unlikely that Maria would have made it up. This book certainly argues that he done it and it's pretty convincing. 

Supposedly he asked her out to dinner, then escorted her to her rooms, and then legally, well, the law was fucked up because she didn't look beat up, AND he could have squashed an investigation easily. Once she turned up pregnant, she was forced to inform him of the situation and supposedly he said he'd marry her--or so she said, he claimed he never agreed to that and claimed he wasn't sure if he was the father. Supposedly everyone else Maria "slept with" was married.

Maria named the kid Oscar Folsom Cleveland, after Cleveland's best friend/future father-in-law, which is a weird choice on all levels under the circumstances. The kid was farmed out to be adopted elsewhere. Since Maria wouldn't let up, Cleveland focused on her drinking and got her committed to a lunatic asylum. Later SOMEHOW there's a signed agreement in Cleveland's handwriting lowball paying Maria off. Eventually it all makes the media and Cleveland didn't actually defend himself on the topic. HMMMM. But then another reporter/friend of his claimed that Cleveland was heroically taking the blame for some married friend or his or other. Cleveland described what he did as "a policy of not cringing." 

Later, the newspaper that published "A Terrible Tale" (Maria's story) got bought out and dismantled by one of Cleveland's friends. 

It gets even more fun when you compare Cleveland to the other candidate, James Blaine, who got married "by an itinerant preacher" without a proper marriage license, forcing the couple to get legally married while she was pretty great with child. The kid later died, and a newspaper reported that someone violated the kid's headstone birthdate. The author says, "Not for nothing is the presidential election of 1884 called the dirtiest in American history." 

Then there's the fact that he married a girl who called him "Uncle Cleave." Reportedly when his sister was nagging him about getting married yet again, he said, "I'm only waiting for my wife to grow up." EWWWWWWWWWWWW. Oh yeah, and that people reasonably assumed that Cleveland was trying to woo her widowed mother. "I don't see why the papers keep marrying me to old ladies." Emma Folsom's reaction is summed up as "not pleased." 

In other not-fun facts about Cleveland:

• Cleveland paid a guy to do his military service for him and was in denial at how going to war ruined the proxy guy's life/health...though this is basically because the guy pulled something and he was treated really poorly medically speaking. All of this after ten days of service. Later, the guy went to Cleveland for financial help and Cleveland only gave him $5. KEEP IT CLASSY,  CLEVELAND. 
• Cleveland certainly loved getting drunk at a bar, like, a lot.
• As sheriff, he delegated authority to his underling and then went off to entertain himself. He also made a lot of money off the job, to the tune of $60k. 
• I did appreciate how he did man up and execute a guy when he had to for the job--you feel for him reading that section.
• Before getting married, Cleveland had his sister Rose doing First Lady duties. SHE DID NOT LIKE IT. Rose was also a lesbian who wrote a romance novel based on Frances Folsom (oy). 

Overall, if you want a book on juicy old political scandal, this is one for you! Four stars. 

Eva Peron

By Alicia Dojovne Ortiz.

Fun facts about Eva (or not-so-fun ones) I got out of this book.

• Eva was totally willing to kiss/hug/be in contact with ill people even if it was risky to herself. She was more worried about offending them than protecting herself from illness. 
• The book is pretty blunt about how Eva picked her various lovers for career advantage and/or financial support in between jobs.
• One catty remark is that she was an expensive mistress because she was always sick. 
• She apparently had a dirty mouth and "insulted only important men." 
• Eva playing Catherine of Russia on the radio is described as "a daily pleasure, this nasal voice who played the empress with rural tango accents! It was hilarious."
• Peron: "He was a forty-eight-year-old widower who loved young girls. Evita, who was twenty-four, could still be mistaken for a doll, and Peron was accomplished in the role of the paternal male." Ewwwww.
• Peron has "A certain stoutness, just enough to make the women swoon." WTF? The author also seems to think he was quite hot on a horse. 
• Someone says, "Eva was asexual...he too was not very sexual. This marriage united two wills, wo passions for power. It was not a marriage for love." 

Waaaaaaaait a minute, all I hear about is how Eva is such a whore and sleeping with dudes for money/jobs/power, but she's asexual? Peron is having teenage girls as mistresses, but HE's asexual?!?! 

• It's the author's opinion that Peron was basically incapable of love and she says things like "Peron certainly loved Eva, at least within the limits of his capacity for love....he had feelings for her that were close to love." 
• Eva considered herself a "dual personality," according to her designer. She said as an actress, he could give her sequins and poufs, but as "what the Big Shot wants me to be, a political figure," she got suits.
• Eva did find Peron annoying and would say so. "The more the real Peron irritated her, the more the ideal Peron claimed her heart. This is the Peron she loved to the point of adoration and sacrifice. It is her gratitude to this Peron, the redeemer who had chosen, purified, and saved her, that drove Eva to a cancerous self-destruction, all while she was singing canticles." The author thinks Eva loved his image more than "his thick body and his chorizo sandwiches."
• Peron on Jews after WWII: "If the Jews are living here, I can neither kill them nor chase them away. The only solution is to let them work within our community." Which is to say, if the Germans couldn't take them out... OY.
• "When his army colleagues, with quivering mustaches and severe brows, explained to him that his liaison with an actress was not highly regarded, Peron opened his penguin arms and responded, "What, would you prefer that I have a relationship with an actor?" LOL. 
• "for Evita, jewelry was reassurance, visible proof that she was loved. Jewels calmed her as food calms others. Since she could not eat for fear she would get fat, she binged on shiny candy: mint emeralds, strawberry rubies....Evita tasted her jewels; she actually sucked on them and bit them."
• When someone tried to tell her to wear less jewelry, she said, "The poor like to see me be beautiful. They do not want to be protected by a poorly dressed woman. You see, they dream about me. How can I let them down?" 
• A tailor of hers got sent out to find her a "simple brown and green necklace" to wear to a Spanish Embassy party. He found one, Evita nibbled on it...and it turned out to be PAINTED NOODLES that turned her mouth green and brown. She ripped the dude a new one after that. He hadn't noticed.
• For those who doubt that she loved him, there's a letter she wrote him before flying saying that she idolized him even though she may not be able to show him all she feels. "I have fought many hardships in my life for my ambition to be somebody. I suffered a great deal, but then you came along and you made me so happy that I feel like I am dreaming."
• Eva wanted "to have a place in history." She also claimed to be unmoved by art, but "I am only moved by the people." Doing things for the poor is what made her cry.
•  Eva would get up in the middle of the night and classify and pack donated objects to the poor. She'd also check on people in the middle of the night to see if they were okay. She got 12k letters a day, like Santa. "Those people are my work. I am nothing, my work is everything." She'd give them more than they asked for, remembering what it was like to be poor herself. She'd bring kids to the house and clean them up too. She'd kiss lepers and other illnesses and caught other people's lice. "I want to help people today, not tomorrow. And that is how I want to die."
• Most people agree that Peron was avoiding his dying wife and freaked the hell out when she made her way to his room one night, yelling "Get this out of here!" shudders People wouldn't tell her she was dying, either. 
• I'm not going to recount the extreme grossness of what people did to Eva's body. Like EWWWWWWW. 

Overall, I thought this was interesting, but I've been in the show "Evita" lately and I have other research nerds telling me fun facts about Eva's lobotomy, Peron's HPV giving 2 out of 3 wives cancer, all the body moving shenanigans. And I'm all um....I feel like this author perhaps left out some dirt here? That might have been good to know? I also think she sometimes has some really odd/opposite takes on things, like Eva being a lady who dated around a lot for money but didn't like sex at the same time, and whether or not Eva and Peron were an actual love match. Huh? So I think that's weird.

But that said, I feel like she's portrayed pretty well on good and bad points for the most part, especially how she felt about helping the poor. Despite Che yelling, "SHE DID NOTHING FOR YEARS!" in Evita, I disagree. I think she earned her spot in history, honestly. 

Overall, I think I'm giving it 3.5 stars.