Speed-Reading Book Nerd Reviews

The Naturals

By Jennifer Lynn Barnes.

I've usually really liked books by this author, but I wasn't so thrilled with this one. The concept behind it is that a few special teenagers have a "natural" gift for analyzing people that the FBI would like to take advantage of to find serial killers. Our narrator, Cassie, got raised to analyze people by her con artist mom, who was presumably murdered several years ago. Cassie never felt like she fit in with her other relatives, so when she gets the offer to join this team and live in a house together, she goes for it and somehow her relatives agree. The other kids are generally skilled but creepy and Cassie has two dubious love interests in the house/team that I could not for the life of me figure out which to root for, if any. Both have issues, to say the least. Cassie seems the sanest of the bunch. If you're thinking this sounds like a dubious government program, uh...yeah, kinda is. They're "supposed" to only work on cold cases, but yeah right.

Anyway, a serial killer busts out that seems to have some kind of connection to Cassie's mother, making Cassie a target and getting the kids involved in the case even though they're not supposed to be (again, yeah right). It was generally creepy and weird, though I will say that the "whodunit" was genuinely surprising and out of left field. 

Overall, I can't really think of much to say here. It wasn't the best, it wasn't the worst, mostly it was just creepy and dubious and kinda shady. I used to watch Criminal Minds and then eventually got kind of tired of it so maybe I'm fatigued on the idea, and also I read this article recently which made me feel not so into the idea of a "natural" either. I'm going to give it three stars, on the "it's not so much that it's bad and more that I just don't think I'm into it, but others might be" logic. 

Moxie

By Jennifer Mathieu.

Vivian Carter is stuck in East Rockport, Texas, one of those dead end towns where the football players run everything. She and her other female classmates are sick of the football players getting to do whatever they want--wear filthy T-shirts, play the "bump n' grind" game of groping girls in public, being asked to make them a sandwich, the "most fuckable girl in school" bracket. etc. They are especially sick of the school administration letting all of that crap fly. However, most of them are used to this shit, and keeping their heads down, and praying for the end of high school and going to college. But one day Vivian, inspired by her mom's old Riot Grrl stash from before her pregnancy, decides to start an anonymous old-fashioned zine and calls it Moxie.

At first she doesn't expect much reaction from asking people in favor of it to draw hearts and stars on their hands--but some do. Some embrace the Moxie label, particularly Vivan's new feminist friend Lucy who misses the feminist club at her old school, and Lucy gets the idea to run a bake sale fundraiser for the girls' soccer team and signs "Moxie" to it when filling out the paperwork. Then when a lot of the girls in school are harassed by the school administration for being "too sexy" (while the guys can wear vulgar T-shirts), and when guys are sexually harassing, Moxie rallies to have stickers put on the lockers of harassers, and asks girls to show up to school in bathrobes. Others embrace the Moxie label and it secretly heartens the female population--but of course, the school administration threatens everyone if it continues. Then when someone, in the name of Moxie, calls out the principal's football stud son for trying to rape her and not doing anything about it and asks for a walkout... 

You get the idea. 

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this. I loved the girls in this and how they were empowered and lit up by Moxie and how it didn't really have a "leader." Vivian also gets a nice out-of-towner boyfriend named Seth, who is an excellent ally but does need to be enlightened a bit at times, as even the best of guys might need to be occasionally. That aspect is handled well. I thought it seemed a bit simplistic at first, but the girls' rage and how others jump into the action really made me feel for them. 

I feel like I am not writing this review well enough, so go read this one instead. But four stars here. 

The School for Good and Evil

By Soman Chainani.

I don't know what to make of this book.

Sophie and Agatha live in Gabaldon, an isolated village that has deduced that every four years or so, two of its children are abducted and thrown into fairy tales--the latter part they know from book deliveries of said fairy tales. Every time the fellow dubbed the "School Master" takes two kids, basically the best and the worst one. Sophie, who is blonde and cute and vain, is DYING to be picked so she can become the princess she knows she is and has always wanted to be. She's oddly best friends with Agatha, the town weirdo who seems like a slam dunk for being the worst kid. Of course they're chosen and taken to the title location.

Except Sophie is dumped into the School of Evil and Agatha is dumped into the School of Good. Both of them do their damndest to switch schools (or if you're Agatha, figure out a way to get sent home altogether) but it's a battle they can't win. You reasonably figure out that Sophie's being hell-bent on getting what she wants at all costs is probably why she got put into Evil even if she's not ugly, and Agatha, well, she's the only nice/likable character in the book, so even if she's "ugly" by the standards of Good, so. They're also "Readers," i.e. the only kids brought in from what's presumably the real world--the rest of the kids are all descendants of fairy tales and they know exactly what roles they are to play, and they scorn S&A relentlessly. 

This school is extremely stereotypical. Only Ever's (Good side) can have princes and marriages and true love and beauty. Never's (Bad side) are always ugly and never ever allowed to have love* or balls or anything--their goal is to be left alone, having thwarted their Nemesis or something. They literally have Beautification and Uglification classes, so guess how well those go for these two. Everyone is told they are 100% Good or 100% Evil and they can't change and there's nothing they can do about that. Though even despite the designations, pretty much every other character but Agatha is a jerky mcjerkpants personality. (Maybe not Kilo, but we hardly get to know her. Dot doesn't seem too bad on the Evil side either.) One of the worst is Prince Tedros, King Arthur's son. Every single girl in the land except Agatha is drooling obsessively over chasing this dude, but we pretty much see him being a jerk about 90% of the time. We're told he wants a girl who wants him for himself, but do we see this in the story execution? I dunno. 

* Since most of the kids are actually descended from other fairy tale characters, I'd like to know how all of the Never's conceptions came about. Magical cloning? Baby Jesus?

What happens is a dizzying volley/mental debate about Good and Evil. Sophie is hell bent on getting into Good and landing Tedros, who goes back and forth between being horrified and disgusted with her (for good reasons, she's frequently horrifying) and being coupled with her, and that is all a giant WTF. Agatha's the only one not interested in Tedros, so you know what that means, but that relationship (such as it is) isn't that well built up either. Agatha wants to go home and she deduces that if Sophie lands Tedros that should somehow break the "no love for Nevers" rule and get them a way home, which goes iffily. Agatha spends a lot of time helping Sophie with her studies. Sophie eventually takes things into her own hands and does a little murder, revamps her wardrobe quite a lot, offers beauty lectures to the Nevers, and vacillates between good and evil but leaning towards evil a lot.

And meanwhile there is some magical pen called the Storian that is writing S&A's fairy tale, the very weird School Master who seems to have some kind of secret ultimate goal, a seer who won't answer any questions or else he loses 10 years of life (geez) and other weirdness. 

Frankly, I got confused at times. Like when it comes to the Trials by Tales, the top fifteen students are supposed to be participating in it. Last we're told outright, Agatha is about ranked fourth or something, so why is she suddenly NOT in the Trials? Sure, I know the reason is "to help Sophie" (Agatha definitely has more consistent loyalty to Sophie, Sophie can have some loyalty when she isn't blinded by chasing hellbent after whatever she wants), but plotwise? And by the time the ending comes about, it almost works and then you're all "WTF just happened?!" 

On the plus side, I did enjoy Sophie's taking charge of her wardrobe and giving lectures and essentially, doing evil(?) her way instead of their way. That is quite sassy. I also enjoyed Agatha's incredibly snarky answers she was writing on a test while thinking that she won't have a date to the ball and then will fail (GOD FORBID you be an Ever and single). "My partner is imaginary, I'm sure he won't mind." The analysis here and there about what makes heroes and villains different is certainly intriguing when it comes up, especially the point about how the Evers trusted their enemies. I appreciate that the author wanted to play with the stereotypes of Good and Evil and really monkeyed around with that the more you get into the book. But also: it's rather confusing at times, and most of the characters are unpleasant to deeply unpleasant (even the "good" ones are almost all jerks)., so other than Agatha, do you care what happens to anyone? How do you feel about Sophie? Hell, I don't know. She's a jerk too but there is that weird bond with her and Agatha, so...

I'm going to give it three stars. Kind of a mixed bag case here. 

Trouble Never Sleeps

By Stephanie Tromly.

Previous book here. 

Looks like this series ends here, and if it does, it's a good stopping place. I am happy. I found this book yesterday and have been reading out lines and giggling to all within the last 24 hours (and just sold a friend on looking for the series). 

"Are you going to be okay?"

Digby shrugs. "I don't know...but at least my problems are about to change." He smiles. "And change is good." 

This book starts about right where the last book left off, with crazy teen party shenanigans, drug tests, bad guys, and the need for an information heist. Finally, Digby's getting close to finding out what happened to his sister Sally. In other news, Zoe finally got into the snooty private school they're always talking about...and oh, yeah, Digby and Zoe are more or less together, finally, causing her mom to freak that Zoe's going to get pregnant. Zoe, however, is freaked enough to break up any romantic moments by solving a case.  That is slightly irritating, but...oh well. 

I don't feel like writing more, but here's Quote Corner! 

Quote Corner:

• "Felix, do you have a bus pass? Or some kind of credit card?" Felix handed me a museum membership pass. "You know how to do that?" "How hard can it be?" It had looked easy enough when I'd watched Digby do it, so the sound of Felix's card snapping in half surprised me. "Um, do you have another one?"
• "What would 'being together' even mean for a guy like him?" "I get to carry the bail money? I'm his steady alibi?" -Sloane and Zoe on dating Digby.
• Felix has a badass moment. "There's a reason I write all your code for you."
• "Pulling off a heist is number five on my bucket list." -Felix
• "You have a big, beautiful brain, Zoe. Don't use it to make yourself miserable." -Zoe's mom
• "Stealing from the police...that's interesting pillow talk, Princeton. But weirdly, I like it... You know, I've always thought subpoena was a sexy word...." Digby does pillow talk. 
• "Did you really just call me your 'special lady friend'?" -Zoe, who actually is fine with that
• After Zoe points out she pays every time when they go out: "And how un-feminist is it to get hung up on who paid?" -Digby
• "Hello, Digby. Welcome to dinner. I made your favorite. Food." -Zoe's mom.
• "Zoe said we weren't allowed to talk and I was starting to think I'd have to sit here just listening to you all masticating for the rest of the night."
  "She told me not to talk too. I can't tell if she was worried about me offending you or you offending me."
  "Zoe? Which is it?"
  "You're both equally offensive." -Zoe's mom, Digby, Zoe.
• Why did Zoe's mom marry Zoe's dad? "Because he took me on an all-expenses paid trip to Turks and Caicos but he wouldn't pay hotel shop prices for condoms."
• "Austin was very hot... But he used to pronounce cojones "cow-jones" and he used to say 'yous guys,' so I knew it was doomed." -Zoe's mom
• "It's not like I chose the hard-knock life, Miss Finn. The hard-knock life chose me." -Digby
• When the football team hits Digby up for some help with some surprise drug tests: "You don't want money, right? Wait. Do you want money?"
  I recognized the look on Digby's face. "Nope. It's going to be a lot weirder than that."
  "I want a human sacrifice."
  "For example."
  Someone in the back said, "You can have my brother. No one's going to miss that idiot."
  "I bet my mom would even pay you to get my dad out of the picture," another player said.

  "I need someone here to die on social media. And it has to be a big death." -Digby. 

   "I got video of my girlfriend getting out of her skinny jeans.," one player said. "I mean, her body be banging' but no one looks good getting out of those..."

  "I have video of me hooking up with my cousin over spring break." 

• "I was thinking the other day about why exactly we all keep getting involved with Digby and his insane capers. ... And I remembered some PSA about telling your teacher if you found out your friend was using drugs. 'Friends take responsibility for friends,' it said. I don't think this is what the PSA writers had in mind but it feels like the right explanation." -Felix
• "I told them to double the mileage on their runs for the next month to sweat that crap out faster." "That won't work. Their bodies won't metabolize the drugs any faster." "I know that and you know that but those guys don't know that. But now they can run eight miles a day and meditate on why they should just say no to drugs." -Henry and Felix.
• "Felix, you straight-up defibbed a dude with a gun. In the face. What can still scare you after you've done that?" -Zoe
• "I said 'Don't do it' but you thought I meant 'Attack the armed and dangerous criminal?'" When I nodded, Digby said, "Wow. I have driven you crazy." 

Favorite moments: 

• Digby reads Zoe's diary and... "yes. Yes. yes. A thousand times, yes." 
• Some dudes who have been watching Digby and Zoe going on about how they have enjoyed watching their soap opera. "Finally." "But you two are a soap opera. You can't blame us for getting caught up." 
• Digby inadvertently saying something very bad (see spoiler space). 
• New Car Smell (makes sense in context, I won't spoil)

I'll do a bit of spoiler cut discussion and Quote Corner below....

Anyway, four stars and this was delightful. 

Lois Lane: Triple Threat

By Gwenda Bond.

Previous book here.

Lois is on the trail of four interestingly enhanced homeless teenagers who are running around the city doing unreal things, which Perry White assigns her to go after and prove if they're real or not. Lois tries to make friends with the kids, but they seem to be working for a bad guy from the last book. To be honest, I was a little unclear on this plot, which might just be me. I did feel sorry for the kids though, as did Lois. 

In other news, Lois and Smallville Guy's supposed Internet friend, TheInventor, seems to be squealing some information on the flying man of Kansas and who's on Strange Skies, which causes Lois's dad to take off for Smallville. Lois warns Smallville Guy about this, so he and his parents take a trip...to Metropolis. Yes, finally, Lois meets her Clark, they hit it off adorably and perfectly, their families hit it off perfectly, Maddy tests Clark's knowledge of lady reporter stars of history, and they're just soooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute it's wonderful. As for TheInventor, he also makes his way into the plot IRL. You can probably guess who he is--hint, he's got tech skills and money and no hair--and while so far he seems friendly, who knows in the long run, amirite?

Less interesting is Maddy's side drama on feeling just not that into her boyfriend Dante, and/or whether or not that means she might someday develop romantic interest in James. I can't say I really got why Maddy was suddenly all "eh..I dunno....uh...." there. But whatever.

I didn't write down as many amusing lines, but Lois and Clark together is a total treasure and I adored their pairing IRL for a change. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to that. So, three and a half stars overall (would have been a bit higher but like I said, felt a little unclear on the main plot). 

This Tiny Perfect World

By Lauren Gibaldi.

Penny is a small town Florida girl who always expects to be a small town Florida girl. Her best friend Fern and boyfriend Logan are good people who, thanks to their terrible parental situations, will probably never be able to move on and leave after graduation. Penny feels about the same, that she'll be obligated to take over the family restaurant. And she's fine with that. 

However: it turns out that Penny can act and she auditioned and got into some kind of prestigious acting summer camp a few towns away. She makes a few new friends there who are more dedicated to acting, which makes Penny wonder if she can go for more in life and possibly leave her town.

That's the premise of this book, which is something I agree with, but I dunno, the execution could have been a little better.

Mostly what put me off on this book was the character of Chase. Penny makes friends with a nice actress named Sam, but Chase is always hanging around Penny as well. Chase is a Professional Actor who lords that over everyone else. He seems to think he's a big shot because he's from Atlanta. He brags about having a bunch of girlfriends. He "negs" Penny. He insists on calling her Penelope even though throughout the book she is yelling at him to stop. Why is she hanging out with this jerk? Seriously, dude is not great. I get that he's here to open Penny's mind to the larger world out there and that's great, but did he have to be such an asshole? And the whole time I was wincing that "this guy's gonna be a love interest? I don't want him!" I would have been fine with the character if he wasn't fairly jerky, so why did he have to be jerky? 

By comparison, Logan is nothing but sweet and nice and decent. I know in books like this I am probably supposed to be rooting for the new hot guy over the hometown boyfriend, but there's literally nothing wrong with Logan other than he's probably stuck in their small town for life. I rooted for him because he's not a jerk! I'll (kinda?) give the author credit for not quite having it go the way that these books would normally go (see spoiler cut), but that was an uncomfortable dynamic I did not enjoy. It kind of reminded me of why I don't like the movie Sweet Home Alabama: there's nothing at all wrong with the 'wrong" guy and the "right" guy is a jerk. 

To be honest, that kind of put me off the book even though the rest of it is pretty good. The friendships here and the issues that come up are well done, and I enjoyed the surprise reveals about Penny's dad and what he's up to and how he isn't madly in love with the family diner either. It seems like the acting stuff is done pretty realistically because Penny isn't an insta-star or anything, even if it felt a bit "tell, not show." But then again, I don't know how you'd show the acting skills in a book either.

Overall, I give it three stars. It probably would have been higher if not for Chase, who left a bad taste in my mouth. 

The Accidentals

By Sarina Bowen.

Rachel's always known her dad was Freddy Ricks, famous rock star, but her mother's always had a big ol' hate-on for him and Rachel only knows this from seeing the child support checks. But when her mom dies of cancer a few weeks before Rachel turns eighteen and goes off to a prep/boarding school, there's literally no one else and she ends up in a group home. This is officially a bad enough situation for her dad to be called, and to his credit Frederick (as Rachel calls him) does come to Florida, quickly gets custody and takes her off to his empty condo in Manhattan Beach for a few weeks before she goes off to school at Claiborne Prep, which sounds like it is some kind of prep school to get into Claiborne College. Freddy even moves to Claiborne with her (and dates his real estate agent) so he can get to know her, which is sweet.

(Note: as a bimbo Californian, I have no idea what the hell a prep school is beyond "somewhere you send rich white boys" and how this whole feeder school thing seems to work.)

Rachel wanted to go to Claiborne because that's where her parents met, and she wants to figure out what happened between them...as long as she doesn't ask her dad, because both of them Cannot Spit It Out when it comes to that topic. That is slightly annoying, but you can see why they are both very, very tentative about everything, between Frederick's failures as a father (very rubbed in by Grandma at times) and Rachel's overall fears. They slowly get to know each other while trying to not discuss why Frederick wasn't there and why he's there now. Rachel makes very good friends with her awesome roommate Aurora and both of them make friends with Jake, Rachel's e-mail buddy who is cute and geeky and super nice. However, Rachel has a lifelong best guy friend named Haze who started putting the moves on her after her mom died and...that's uncomfortable. I loved it when Aurora called out the entire situation as being kinda shady at best--is the time when your best friend just lost her only family the time to want kisses and sex? Really, dude? So you root for Jake and that relationship instead.

Overall, this is a good slow burn relationship builder between Rachel and Frederick and Rachel and Jake. It was enjoyable. I liked how eventually Frederick and Rachel got closer and even Frederick's girlfriend (who isn't in it much) has some good moments at the end that make you feel good about the future. So overall, I liked it. Four stars. 

Outcast

By Adrienne Kress.

This is a fucked-up and interesting premise: in Riley's small Southern town, angels show up on one day a year and just take people. It's been going on for six years and one creepy but smart pastor has managed to take over the entire town by talking people into worshipping and accepting this behavior. (The poor Catholic priest, Father Peter, is still liked but has very little business besides directing plays and wondering wtf is going on.) The locals are now forbidden from just leaving town on taking day--if you leave, you leave FOREVER. They have tricked the media into thinking it's stopped happening. And most people seem to think it's...okay now?

Riley, our narrator, does not agree with that. She's already a bit of an unusual personality in town (also, her mom got pregnant out of wedlock even if she got married soon after), but her parents don't buy into the whole angel thing and do the bare minimum to get along socially and mostly skip going to angel church. Riley is also still mourning the loss of her best friend/love interest Chris, who was taken last year. So she stays home from the taking day party and when an angel shows up on her lawn, she shoots it in the face. Now you know why I bought this book.

Anyway, this doesn't go as you'd expect, Riley thought she'd have to dispose of an angel body but it converts into the naked body of a teenage boy named Gabe (hah) McClure, who thinks it's 1956. Riley checks old yearbooks and yes, he existed then. Gabe doesn't remember being an angel or missing any time at all, so he's utterly confused at this--but still, he's a charming and friendly dude and manages to hit it off with everyone in town and pass himself off as of this time and place and even move in/get a job with Riley's family. Since Gabe is Riley's only way to figure out what the hell is going on here, the two of them spend the next year trying to figure out what the hell kind of spectral beings are invading their town, what the hell Gabe is/was, and if this plan of shooting angels is going to work out on the next taking day.

I love the premise of this, but I will say that since the book has to take a year to get back to where it started again, things kind of meander at times. (I was not super into the several chapters of "Riley goes to a party" that felt like any ol' teenage book that happen after the plot kicks off.) It turns out that Riley's best lead as to what is going on is the angel that keeps showing up around her periodically, which somewhat answers her questions as to what the hell is going on here. Her other best lead is an old friend of Gabe's from his original 1950's youth, who remembers the last time anyone was taken. Eventually Riley recruits whoever she can to join an angel shooting club and make sure that next year's taking goes differently. 

I'll go into more details below the spoiler cut, but I want to give one caution to anyone buying this as a romance novel: If that is what you are here for, it does not end happily ever after. I was genuinely shocked at that. Riley and Gabe's relationship is a slow, sweet build and it's eventually done well and accounts for her feelings about Chris too, BUT...shit happens. i expected a deus ex machina fix there, but...no. I do kind of wonder if there is going to be a sequel to this book or not, given the ending. On the one hand, the main conflict is finally wrapped up once and for all so on that level there probably should not be. On the other hand, one wonders about the aftermath, big time. I'm not sure what to make of certain aspects of what happened. But I was up into the late hours of the night reading it, and Gabe and Riley are enjoyable characters.

I think I'll give it three and a half stars, with some caveats that some plot aspects do not go as you think.

Tone Deaf

By Olivia Rivers.

Ali used to be a musical prodigy until she got a brain tumor that took away her hearing. Then her mom died. Now she's deaf and forced to live with her ex-cop father, who beats her up and so far any attempts she's made at getting help from the authorities have been thwarted by him. She's counting the days until her eighteenth birthday when she can flee LA and go back home to NYC. In the meantime, her best friend wants to go to a concert by the band Tone Deaf, and Ali "luckily" wins a meet and greet. Yay irony. And the lead singer, Jace, is a total asshole to her. He's forced to make it up to her before this becomes a big media scandal, but upon meeting a second time, Jace realized that Ali's being abused.

Jace has his own whopping personal demons--his parents were deaf, his mom is dead (and she died on the day he was forced to meet Ali, so he got triggered) and his dad beat him up and went to jail for it. Jace rarely trusts anyone, but when he sees that Ali's being beaten up, he spontaneously offers to get her out. Their cross country tour will end in four months in NYC, just as she turns eighteen. She can hide out with the band and be untraceable as she travels. So that's what they do.

Jace is another good example of an "asshole" hero that's redeemed. He and Ali bond over their respective shitty parents and abuse and ASL and music, as Ali realizes that (a la Mandy Harvey) she can still do some composing. I also liked the bandmates and Cuddles the rescue pit bull. The book ended a lot faster than I was expecting--I felt like it might go a whole four months but ah, it's faster than that--but it ends well and satisfyingly. Overall, other than the book feeling a bit too fast, it worked well for me. So, four stars. 

Past Perfect

By Leila Sales.

Chelsea Glaser's parents work at Essex Colonial Village and she's had to work there herself since she was six. At age sixteen, she's kind of bored, jaded, and sick of history by now and would love to get a job at the mall--but her best friend Fiona wants to work at Essex, so there we go. She's also unthrilled to find out that her ex, Ezra, has also gotten a job there. Ezra did the breaking up, and Chelsea is still not over it, kind of idolizing the relationship, not interested in anyone else, etc. And a really annoying dude at Essex not only chases her, he's gotten a job in her dad's silvershop. Chelsea asks for a transfer.

Here's where it gets really funny: every summer Essex is in a prank war with the Civil War Reenactmentland, which is located literally across the street. I am delighted and amused by this turn of events. This year's leader for Essex is Tawny, who is a total badass, and Chelsea is elected her second in command....and then immediately gets kidnapped by the Civil War. While tied up and waiting for rescue, Chelsea meets Dan, a cute and nice guy working for the Civil War. There's some sparkage...but how can you date the enemy? Oh noes! 

The war starts out fun: Chelsea plants old phones from an antique shop all over camp, the Civil War plants ringing burner phones all over Essex, there's horse manure, etc... but after Tawny and Dan's sister get injured (annoyingly, we never really find out what happened there), shit is escalating, as is Chelsea and Dan's secret hanging out. Dan makes the mistake of saying something HUGE about Reenactmentland that's a secret, and even then I was all "oh no, dude."  Once they're caught, Chelsea is ostracized by everyone she knows and kicked out of the war, decides that one guy isn't worth all the giant loneliness and drama, and blabs Dan's secret. Which is great for Essex but rightly makes Dan think that Chelsea is a terrible asshole. I can't say I blame him. It's both a juicy secret, involves the honor of historical reenactment, and is utterly shitty for Dan's remaining family members. Where does Chelsea go from here?

In the end, it resolves well, particularly how Chelsea finally comes to the realization that her romance with Ezra wasn't all that and a bag of chips and he was kind of a neglectful, argue-y dude at times who loses interest quickly. I think it would be hard to make up with Dan under the circumstances, but she comes up with something. About the one weakness is that I don't think Dan was around much and I felt like he needed to be on stage a bit more to build the relationship with Chelsea. 

Overall, this is a really fun book between the historical reenactments, the snark, the war...I really enjoyed it. So four stars from me. 

Quote Corner (all quotes by Chelsea):

• "Most people just want to know your name, whether you're overheated, and where they can find the nearest toilet."
• "Those are pretty much the only questions people ask Colonials. If they want you to tell them anything else, just make it up. They will believe you, because you are wearing a costume."
• "Bryan is also the sort of person who unabashedly remarks on dead women's uterine linings."
• "This may be hard for you to believe, but I don't actually decide to date guys based on what would be the most historically accurate."
• "You know, I've heard of prank phone calls, but I've never before witnessed a prank phone answer."
• "This is who Ezra is dating now. He is now into girls who are into dressing up as nineteenth-century prostitutes. For the hats."
• "I couldn't tell anyone that I had been making out with a Civil Warrior on my trampoline while his sister was beating up the Colonial General." 
• "It was immediately apparent to me that these girls had never sweated a moment in their lives. They had never dealt with an unsupervised five-year-old trying to yank off their petticoats. And I guarantee that none of them had ever been unable to date a boy because he came from the wrong time." 
• Chelsea deals with a skeezy dude: "I am still in high school. I'm sixteen. My parents work down the road. And they're strong. My father was a wrestler in college. Now get the hell out of my graveyard." 
• "The thing about historical reenactors is, they'll reenact anything. Even if it just happened a couple weeks ago."
• "My parents took me to the Ren Faire one weekend when I was little, because they thought it would be a fun family outing. When we saw the stage of half naked dancers, we immediately turned around and left. Not because my parents thought it was inappropriate for their child to see barely dressed women. Just  because they thought it was inappropriate for their child to see such offensive historical inaccuracies." 
• I am also amused that the book ends with the Colonials and Civil Warriors teaming up to declare war on the Renaissance Faire that dares to set up down the road. "My enemy is actually my friend if I have another enemy who is also the enemy of my first enemy?"
• You can find more quotes here.