Another well-deserved ripping on He's Just Not That Into You.
Did I mention already that after telling Mom I don't want the book, she gave it to me anyway? *smacks forehead*
"So, let me get this straight. Doing nothing is great because you get to be in control, but also because "there's no scheming and plotting." This, my friends, is a pile of bullshit. Because if your objective is to wind up as the one in control of the relationship, you are scheming and plotting. That is what scheming and plotting is. Asking a guy out -- saying "let's go out" when you want to go out -- is not scheming. Sitting back saying, "I want to go out with him, but I won't ask him out, because if I ask him out, then I won't wind up in control, and I would rather wind up in control as a result of having forced him to chase me"? That is scheming and plotting.
The book goes on in this same vein for about 175 pages, and the themes remain the same. The only guy who deserves you is a guy who will go to absurd lengths to pursue you. Guys -- all guys, any guys, all the time -- meet two kinds of women. First, there is the kind they spend their entire lives with and immediately know they want to spend their entire lives with and will do anything to obtain (and yes, the idea is "obtain"), and second, there is the kind they trick, lie to, cheat on, fuck over, and manipulate. And why do they trick you, lie to you, cheat on you, fuck you over, and manipulate you? It's you. It's because they don't like you. It's not the guy -- he's like that because all guys are like that. It's because the guy has sized you up and found you inadequate in some way, and although we (the authors of the book) believe he's keee-razy to think that, that's what he thinks, and therefore he is following the natural tendencies of guys to mistreat, lie to, and take advantage of every women who isn't immediately identifiable as The One He Loves. Once he meets that one, he will be delightful, straightforward, honest, and easy to navigate.
Are you fucking kidding me?
This is what they think single women need to figure out?
I'm honestly not cranking up '70s music on the stereo and eating ice cream out of the container while I dream about that one very special guy who will love me enough to overcome his otherwise overwhelming "primordial" instinct to act like a manipulative jackass. Is that what I'm supposed to be doing? Why would I wait around for someone who lied to and jerked around the last six women he dated because he wasn't adequately "into" them, which was really their own fault for making "excuses"? There's a name for guys who try to trick you or keep you on the chain or give as little to you as possible, and it's not "guys," it's "assholes." And I find it ironic that a book would simultaneously tell women that essentially (1) they need to get a guy, and here's how to get one; and (2) by the way, he's still going to be an asshole, but he'll act less like one if he reeeeally likes you. Presumably, everyone else will still get the asshole."