Chaos Theory

Dressing like a wanker--and proud

“You are just pissed off because a fashion mag called you out for dressing like a wanker,” I hear you say. To which I reply: I know I look like a wanker. I enjoy looking like a wanker. Looking like a wanker is a basic human right and a huge part of having a signature style. I have always looked like a wanker. I looked like a wanker when I wore plaid bondage outfits in 1978. I looked like a wanker when I dressed like a pirate during the early-’80s New Romantic era. I am sure I will die looking like a wanker. I never subscribed to the idea of good taste: It’s a subjective concept promoted by fashion scribes to oppress the rest of us. Dressing age-inappropriately is, so they say, in poor taste, and it’s vulgar. This is exactly why I celebrate it."

Not again.

You know what? I hope he makes it to jail or prison, where he really can't get access to the Internet.

You know, also most people wouldn't brag about driving while high on drugs, and hitting someone, and posting the pics of their bail notice. Note that this news came out FROM HIS OWN WEBSITE, AGAIN.

Goddamn.

That's it: no more Bridget Jones for me

"Not only does this involve major spoilers, but it is also deeply upsetting, so please, take a moment."

I'm not going to say it here, but....yeah, I think sales are gonna go waaaaaaaaaay down on this one.

This exists

Old City Cemetery Tour: Misbehaving Politicians

This is why pulling a slow fade is eeeeeeeeeeevil.

"On Monday you get a “Sorry about this weekend, I got super busy,” text, “No worries! Let’s try for next weekend” you say, “For sure,” the object of your affection replies. Then… nothing. (The prolonged slow-fade is when this process occurs multiple times over the course of several weeks to months. It’s also known as: “Bitch get a clue, it’s not happening.”)

 

You can’t quite figure out what happened because… nothing happened. It’s almost like your paramour ceased to exist. You don’t want to follow up with a “What happened to you?” because that might seem desperate but mostly, because you know exactly what happened. You got slow-faded and it effing sucks.

The slow-fade is cowardly and at its root, dishonest. Just say “You know what, I think you’re a super down girl and all, but I’m just not feeling anything here, no hard feelings.” I would be SO FINE with that. I would cherish that. I would keep that text as long as my phone would let me. I can do something with that. I can file that experience in the “Tried it, didn’t work out, not my fault,” category.

 

You know what I can’t do anything with? Nothing. When you disappear into the ether without any indication why, all I can do is come up with a million and a half reasons why you’re not into me. Until you close the door and close it completely, I can hold on to that tiny unrealistic shred of hope that you DO still want to hang out, and that maybe you’ll call (text, who am I kidding, nobody calls anymore and I hate it) and it’ll all be great."

Rent a chicken

This is an option now?!

Oh my

Here's an...interesting...solution to the "omg plastic bag use" problem: print dildos on the front.

"The ‘Uncarriable Carrier Bags’ are marked with eye-catching designs that make its users look as if they’re carrying around explosives, weapons, drug-taking equipment, and sex toys."

You Shakespearean dork

Tom Hiddelston wants to play Benedick.

"And I think the reason is that it’s about love. It’s about your last chance. You might have sworn off finding the right person and think, “Love’s not for me. Marriage isn’t for me. I will die a bachelor, or I will die a maid. None of your romance, none of your love poems.” It’s about these two old cynics who are like, “Nah, it’s not going to happen for me.” And it does. I think that’s just very redemptive and sweet. And there’s one extraordinary aspect of the play, which is that when Hero’s chastity is in doubt—it’s called into question because of the plot of Don John—an extraordinary thing happens, which is almost unique in all of Shakespeare, which is the man, Benedick, takes the side of the women in blind faith. So he says to Claudio and Don Pedro, I think, “What you’ve done is appalling. This is an act of brutality.” He doesn’t explicitly say that, but it’s an amazing thing where the leading male character takes the side of the women, and I think it’s, yet again, evidence of Shakespeare’s extraordinary compassion and understanding of human nature."

This exists

"The ZOMBIE TRAIN is the most unique train ride in North America. Be among the first to ride through an apocalyptic world inhabited by zombies. One part passenger train, one part zombie killing machine, this one-of-a-kind experience arms passengers will laser rifles to pick-off walking zombies along the tracks.

Tickets include a 2-hour train ride & show. Guests can either jump aboard for the ride or purchase an upgraded ticket that includes a laser gun and a place among the Zombie Train Militia. The show is during the first 75 minutes of the 2-hour train ride. During the last 45 minutes guests can interact, take photos & return to Sacramento zombie free."

There is also Callson Manor.

The sights you see in this town

The explanation I have for this is that the fellow with the bikes is the Whymcycle guy, and the little kid is trying to enter a photo contest. That random dude on the left in the last two photos asked if they needed help, and they said the kid has to take the photo.