Sewing does not a cook make

The reason why my craft blog is called what it is is because I may do a lot of crafting, but I am otherwise not domestic. (I'm gonna take forever to redo my kitchen, which I got forced to empty out over a week ago for roach cleaning. Like seriously, I look at all the dishes and go "God, I don't want to figure out how to put them all back in here. Or rewash ALL OF THEM. BY HAND.") I don't like cooking. I had a volunteer job with mandatory potluck once a week for years and most of the time I tried to bring anything I didn't make. Obviously I got forced to do more of that while locked up for a year, but I still don't like making food for others to eat. People are so judge-y about how your food should be like, edible, and actually tasty. I pretty much make stuff that's like, simple, five ingredients or less, that hopefully a moron won't fuck up too much, that hopefully I figured out alone. 

(Tonight's dinner: ramen omelet with potato chip toppings. So....yeah.) 

I did not learn to cook at home from my parents. Everyone got into fights over every damn thing in the house and to me, I associate cooking with screaming, and judging. I'm never going to LOVE to cook and make a meal for others to eat, and since I will be permanently single and alone my entire life, I don't HAVE to. One of the perks of being alone forever is skipping fighting in the kitchen. 

Unfortunately, this comes up as an issue if you aren't single. 

So I was listening to the Judge John Hodgman podcast, featuring a couple where one of them is an accomplished Renaissance Faire costumer but doesn't like cooking, exactly for the reasons that I don't like cooking, i.e. it was a stress bomb of shit growing up and rather traumatizing. 

"Ann-Elizabeth files suit against her wife, Tiffany. Ann-Elizabeth says that she doesn’t cook because she finds it too overwhelming. Tiffany says that because Ann-Elizabeth is such a talented seamstress, it’s surprising that she would have trouble with cooking. To Tiffany, the skills should be transferable. But Ann-Elizabeth says that’s not how it works! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?"

Tiffany, who does also sew but not as much as Ann-Elizabeth, and grew up in a household where all the kids learned to cook and things were sane and fine, wants to make Ann-Elizabeth cook and claims that if you can craft, you can cook. And I was all I MOST HEARTILY DISAGREE WITH THIS MADAM. Because if you fuck up your dress (something that does come up on the podcast as something Ann-Elizabeth has done), that's just affecting you. People do not like it if you fuck up the meal and/or waste the pancakes. Cooking is PUBLIC and affects others in a way that making an awesome outfit doesn't do in the same way. People get offended if your cooking sucks and they tried to eat it, 'nuff said. I get why you think it's similar, but it's not quite there.

Ann-Elizabeth puts it like this: "The materials, while being attached to each other, are not catalyzing one another, converting one another into a new substance.... You're creating a new chemical out of other chemicals. You can't just FIX IT, you have to throw it out and start over." You say it far better than I, madam. And "cooking was weaponized when I grew up." And there's some issues with regards to cooking and Tiffany's diabetes to complicate it if you eff it up, too.

 And Ann-Elizabeth admits she hates sucking at it. I hear ya, girl. I can pretty much count on one hand the number of people who have seen me cook anything in a long time, and those are people who are SUPER chill (and may actually read this, hello to a few of you). 

Anyway, in the end, JJH determines that yes, Ann-Elizabeth could if she wanted to, but also admits that (a) cooking together isn't always a romantic activity and (b) Ann-Elizabeth may rightly have some trauma about cooking around family members. In the end, JJH's suggests therapy/another instructor and the suggestion of her watching once a month cooking. Which....fair. 

That said, check out Ann-Elizabeth's webpage on costumes/RenFaireing/being a fool/phoole.

In other news, look, I updated this blog even though I haven't finished anything lately to photograph. I've been in plays. And had my house upset with roach spraying for roaches I don't even have, btw.

Comments

[Dawn]

I love Paula Poundstone's comedy. Especially her PopTart skit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXl-PxM2cJA

I appreciate you.
Dawn