Craft Enabled, Domestically Disabled

Quilling!

I took a class in quilling officially today (after having done this before).

First, she had us learn the various types of things we could do with coiled paper:

This was the project example that she brought in, we were to make a smaller version:

The class was four hours long, I don't think anyone finished gluing their pieces down by then unless they didn't put a whole lot in. I spent so much time filling in the little box and then was all "crap, I'm going to have to take all of this out and put glue in the bottom and put them back in!" The teacher helpfully said we could get clear polyurethane glue spray to finish off pieces/get them to stay in, and also if I ever want to make quilled jewelry, I can use it for that. So after class was out, I went out and got the spray to make sure all the pieces stayed in. 

Here it is outside, drying. I added a sun in the corner, two butterflies and some clouds. Pretty cool, huh? 

Stitches West 2023, day one

Enormous amount of pictures below the spoiler cut.

So this did not go well

Remember how I wanted to put this onto a shirt? Well, I did...and somehow despite using "dark transfer" paper, the green bled through the paper in weird ways.

I have no idea. I don't like irons. I don't like how they work. I don't get how they work. Bleah. Oh well, at least the sweatshirt was super cheap and I already had the paper so I'm not out a lot of money on this one.

The Christmas cards also came out a bit sketchy (I didn't photograph those), but not this bad. Sigh. 

Quilling

Today I finally got around to trying quilling. We each bought two kits from Michael's and went to it.

Here's an example of what (a) the package looks like, (b) the paper with the model that we're supposed to replicate, followed by (c) my actual projects.

You're supposed to lay out and glue on the edges of the paper before you do the quills in the middle. This is hard to get to stay up, let me tell you. 

But once you're done with that, you just do a bunch of quills and adjust them to fit the size/space, squeeze the points together for pointy bits, and glue them on.

I have a terrible Christmas logo I want to put on things

I am in A Christmas Carol: The Musical right now and hear this quote every night. It delighted me no end and I thought, "it should be on a shirt or something." Alas, the quote is really too long to put into yarn or cross stitch, so here is a terrible graphic to go on a shirt or Christmas cards or something. Problem is, I need table space (NOT an ironing board) to iron it onto something and all my one table is filled with computers. Unless I iron shit outside on my already-fairly-trashed outdoor coffee table, which seems like a bad idea (albeit I do have a plug out there)? Maaaybe? Or beg someone else to possibly let me damage their table with an iron? 

Sewing does not a cook make

The reason why my craft blog is called what it is is because I may do a lot of crafting, but I am otherwise not domestic. (I'm gonna take forever to redo my kitchen, which I got forced to empty out over a week ago for roach cleaning. Like seriously, I look at all the dishes and go "God, I don't want to figure out how to put them all back in here. Or rewash ALL OF THEM. BY HAND.") I don't like cooking. I had a volunteer job with mandatory potluck once a week for years and most of the time I tried to bring anything I didn't make. Obviously I got forced to do more of that while locked up for a year, but I still don't like making food for others to eat. People are so judge-y about how your food should be like, edible, and actually tasty. I pretty much make stuff that's like, simple, five ingredients or less, that hopefully a moron won't fuck up too much, that hopefully I figured out alone. 

(Tonight's dinner: ramen omelet with potato chip toppings. So....yeah.) 

I did not learn to cook at home from my parents. Everyone got into fights over every damn thing in the house and to me, I associate cooking with screaming, and judging. I'm never going to LOVE to cook and make a meal for others to eat, and since I will be permanently single and alone my entire life, I don't HAVE to. One of the perks of being alone forever is skipping fighting in the kitchen. 

Unfortunately, this comes up as an issue if you aren't single. 

So I was listening to the Judge John Hodgman podcast, featuring a couple where one of them is an accomplished Renaissance Faire costumer but doesn't like cooking, exactly for the reasons that I don't like cooking, i.e. it was a stress bomb of shit growing up and rather traumatizing. 

"Ann-Elizabeth files suit against her wife, Tiffany. Ann-Elizabeth says that she doesn’t cook because she finds it too overwhelming. Tiffany says that because Ann-Elizabeth is such a talented seamstress, it’s surprising that she would have trouble with cooking. To Tiffany, the skills should be transferable. But Ann-Elizabeth says that’s not how it works! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?"

Tiffany, who does also sew but not as much as Ann-Elizabeth, and grew up in a household where all the kids learned to cook and things were sane and fine, wants to make Ann-Elizabeth cook and claims that if you can craft, you can cook. And I was all I MOST HEARTILY DISAGREE WITH THIS MADAM. Because if you fuck up your dress (something that does come up on the podcast as something Ann-Elizabeth has done), that's just affecting you. People do not like it if you fuck up the meal and/or waste the pancakes. Cooking is PUBLIC and affects others in a way that making an awesome outfit doesn't do in the same way. People get offended if your cooking sucks and they tried to eat it, 'nuff said. I get why you think it's similar, but it's not quite there.

Ann-Elizabeth puts it like this: "The materials, while being attached to each other, are not catalyzing one another, converting one another into a new substance.... You're creating a new chemical out of other chemicals. You can't just FIX IT, you have to throw it out and start over." You say it far better than I, madam. And "cooking was weaponized when I grew up." And there's some issues with regards to cooking and Tiffany's diabetes to complicate it if you eff it up, too.

 And Ann-Elizabeth admits she hates sucking at it. I hear ya, girl. I can pretty much count on one hand the number of people who have seen me cook anything in a long time, and those are people who are SUPER chill (and may actually read this, hello to a few of you). 

Anyway, in the end, JJH determines that yes, Ann-Elizabeth could if she wanted to, but also admits that (a) cooking together isn't always a romantic activity and (b) Ann-Elizabeth may rightly have some trauma about cooking around family members. In the end, JJH's suggests therapy/another instructor and the suggestion of her watching once a month cooking. Which....fair. 

That said, check out Ann-Elizabeth's webpage on costumes/RenFaireing/being a fool/phoole.

In other news, look, I updated this blog even though I haven't finished anything lately to photograph. I've been in plays. And had my house upset with roach spraying for roaches I don't even have, btw.

Stitches West 2022

Because this will go on forever, the pics will be below the spoiler cut.

This is URINETOWN! part 3

Continued from here:

I didn't do these, but you gotta share them anyway:

'

Here's the ticket, up in the sky:

The finished public amenity.

I hid some rabbits ("don't be the bunny!" is a song in the show) in the set.

And literal Easter eggs. The director said he wanted to remove them later, but never did, and here they are, muhahahah. He even called them out on the first night :) 

And I found a random "old lady" picture from The Producers of the choreographer, so now she's in the set. 

Oh look, a random murder happened on the set! Amusingly, the paper used to cover it up fell down, so now it's obvious, heh heh heh. (That was Sofia, not me.)

And finally....Sofia and I got credited for "scenic art" in the front, but here's our listing on the back. I'm so proud :) 

 

 

This is URINETOWN! part 2

Continued from here. 

I didn't draw this, but will carry it in the show.

I didn't do the graffiti either, but I love it.

????

I love it when someone manages to slip in an insult to the director! (Who would be into it.)

On a related note, other than gluing trash, this was my main project this weekend:

"This is URINETOWN! Your ticket should say URINETOWN! No refunds here at URINETOWN! We'll take that dough..." (actual lyrics.) A four second joke, but worth it. 

And then, there's the TOILET BRIGADE. I wasn't around for its construction, but holy shit, the graffiti.

Can't wait for the actress playing Tiny Tom to see that one.

"Roger Roosevelt, kept a cup beneath his belt," and here it is, up close. 

 

 

 

This is URINETOWN!

So I am in Urinetown, a dark comedy/parody of all things theater, taking place in a world where there's 20 years of drought and you have to pay to pee in public toilets. We have set construction EVERY WEEKEND on this one, I'm very tired. But I figured this show had enough entertaining things that I can show off the craft work I've done there.

The Secret Hideout sign, subtle like a trainwreck. Original design by the director, my execution, me and others painting.

The protest signs. I did "Protest Sign," "Do You Hear The People Pee," "Hi Mom," "Hell No We Gotta Go," and "Get Your Boots Off My Bladder." That one ended up with footprints on it, so I rolled with it.

Can I show you what I'm proudest of? The orphanage THE TRASHED SET, i.e. Public Amenity Number 9, the worst bathroom in town. I initiated collecting trash and gluing it to the set. I'm particularly proud of what I call "The Producers Shrine" on one side, as I've snuck in a few people's names from that show, the flier, and pictures left over from the show. I note that the little old lady is playing the mom in this show as well.

Here's my old unused parking pass from 2020, and another castmate. His wife is choreographing this show and I asked her what his reaction was to the photos she took. "Greaaaaaaaat," she said.

I found what appears to be some kind of...love letter note he wrote to himself? Anyway, it's in there. On the other side (which you can't see under the trash at this point), there's sheet music and script lines from the show.

Castmate looks even better with devil eyes spraypainted on him, doesn't he?

This was the first week's level of trash.

Next week, we added coffee cups with character's names misspelled, and a castmate had a great time decorating the cups and Chinese food containers with coffee, paint, and lipstick. And then came the spraypaint...

This is week 2' s level of trash. It's a real work of art. Other people have been adding on stuff like spraypaint, shoes (not in this shot) and Disney merch bags to the set.