Review and Reddit.
When I came over to Loretta's for Hanukkah movie night, I was all, "should we do Hanukkah on the Rocks or this one? I'm not sure if this one is a Hanukkah movie or not." Mostly it's not, which is why I just texted Loretta about it while watching it. But it's in there!
Even though "Hanukkah is THE BEST," Leah is Christmas-curious. She is dating Graham, who she met at work. “We were just adventure buddies at first” is SO CUTE. Anyway, Leah and Graham celebrate Hanukkah first this year before Christmas (so clearly not this year since the holidays don’t overlap) and have a great time, even if “latkes aren’t latkes unless you set off the smoke detector!” I texted Loretta to ask if this was true, she disagreed.
Stealth Gay alert: Graham’s sister Maddie has a lady ex, who she ducks seeing. Leah is asked how the ex looked. “Sad and lonely,” Leah says. Supportive! Maddie loves Leah.
Leah is intrigued to have a movie-style Christmas with Graham’s family coming up next. Graham and his sister seem like Good People. However, one cannot help but get The Bad Vibe every time his parents come up in conversation. They dub the house, “very, very pretty ON THE OUTSIDE” and “very, very WEIRD on the inside.” I start deducing that the parents are the SECOND pair of Mitchum parents from A Very Merry Mix-Up, and they probably eat macrobiotic.
Leah gets a wee bit of razzing for her Christmas-curious from her family: "What, Hanukkah isn't enough for you any more?" "I'm not converting!" Leah just wants to see if it's like the movies. "What do people wear, plaid Xmas sweaters?" Also, “Egg Foo Yum isn’t going anywhere.” Leah stocks up on Christmas sweaters, one “tasteful” red quiet reindeer one and one obnoxious light up one. “You said your parents like to dress up at your house…” Um, Graham meant FANCY dress-up.
Basically, Graham and his sister try to some degree to steer Leah out of the pit holes of dealing with his mother, but they also do not do a good enough job of doing this. His mother hates change, does not like being called Barb, does like politics, change, technology, sports, and the family probably won’t love that the sister wants to start an artisanal pickle company instead of going to business school either. Mom also doesn’t like it if you rip wrapping paper, got Leah too big matching pajamas, and invited the Hempsteads over, who clearly the kids hate.
“So you said your mom likes gardens?”
“I actually said she likes commenting on other people’s gardens.”
“I believe you call that criticizing…”
This is to say that Leah got Mom a hanging terrarium and Mom does NOT like it, does NOT want it hung on the tree (or anything else Leah might want to hang either). “Does she hate it?” “She loves it,” Graham lies like a dog. Mom has to have hanging things done EXACTLY in four inch intervals. “This is so fun!” Leah tries to chirp.
Leah is hungry. Mom is in shock that someone would be hungry and offers her some seaweed, which she lives on. I actually like seaweed and even I’m like, um, no. (So, she probably IS macrobiotic.) Leah runs to the bathroom, where “there is LITERALLY Santa Claus toilet paper” and complains to her friend that there’s NO FOOD and it’s SO WEIRD and “no nosh” other than “a really upsetting bite of seafood.” Seriously, no food is offered and when dinner is finally served, there is hardly any meat at all, no sides, and “Mom’s a terrible cook, but we make sure she doesn’t know we think that.”
Leah is offended at being politely told to change her clothes for dinner (she's in the quietly tame reindeer sweater). Alas, the other thing she brought was the light up obnoxious sweater.
As for the Hempsteads, Leah ends up breaking Julia Hempstead’s VAHSES, having to pay $150 apiece, and then runs into her a party and Julia is all, “I DATED GRAHAM FOR THREE YEARS.” Graham clearly has a type because she is Blonde Version of Leah. Graham is all, “off and on for three years and I wasn’t that into her.” Uh-huh, but Julia does seem Much.
"Christmas has a fun way of breaking out everyone's quirks, especially my mom." She can't deal with not having a routine. Or losing a gingerbread house contest. Leah watched YouTube last night and learned how (I wish it was that easy...one year my mom got me a bunch of kits, the icing sucked, I just ate the pieces. And I've TAKEN cake decorating class...oh, she got me more this year, btw) and then is all, "Why didn't you tell me to lose the contest?" and Graham's all "I wanted you to win." Later Leah makes a crappy snowman so Mom can win, and Mom is all, “It’s not a contest, it’s an EXHIBITION and “this one doesn’t fit in.” Sister is all, “I tried to tell you!” Graham tries to lighten the mood by starting a snowball fight and Leah ends up hitting Mom in the face, and then calling her Barb.
Leah: “I’m clearly Just Bad At Christmas.” Me: No, your boyfriend and his sister are terrible at letting you fall into mommy minefields and they are sucking at helping you navigate through them. If I were Leah I’d be making up some lie and leaving at this point, because everyone has to be Perfect, this is no fun, and all she does is fall into stupid pit holes. Graham seems like a nice dude, but he's falling a bit short here. If this was an IRL AITAH thread, he'd be getting ripped.)
It’s gift time! People get gifted with “Pencils!” (sister) and “Big Ice Cubes!” (dad). Graham gives Leah a giant gift basket. This movie thinks it’s fun to taunt Leah by thinking that Graham is going to propose and then he like, gives her gum, but this is the big one. She gave him a photo album of all of their dates, then feels bad and crawls away in shame. Friend, when called: “At least it’s FOOD” and “Are you eating in the bathroom?” Of course she is, I would too.
Everyone has to go to a pageant dressed as your favorite Christmas movie character. Somehow nobody can figure out Leah’s “It’s carol singers” sign. Julia thinks that Love Actually is reality television. JULIA, WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THESE YEARS. Barbara cannot comprehend the two John McClanes and wonders why they’re dirty. The parents are Santa and Mrs. Claus, Graham is…outta A Christmas Carol?
Most movies would make drama out of this, but Graham has no interest in working at dad’s bank, Dad is totes chill about it. Dad is basically Poor Man's Peter Gallagher, same vibe.
In the end, Leah and Mom finally hit it off when Mom starts having a crying breakdown in the cloak room, admits she doesn’t deal with change well, doesn’t like cooking, or the terrarium. But she’s nice about it! They make up and it’s sweet. That said, this sort of thing is why my mother was all, “Never split the holidays until you absolutely have to.”
In the end, Graham makes up for everything by sneaking Leah’s parents in and then finally proposing. Barbara orders Hanukkah PJ’s and they go to Egg Foo Yum for dinner.
Not really a Hanukkah movie except in part, but stressful parents are definitely a thing and I relate. I originally gave it a pretty high review because I liked the end, but re-reading all the shit and how Leah keeps falling into pit holes, and how the siblings just can't quite figure out how to act, and how Barbara has a drastic last minute turnaround basically out of nowhere... I think I'm putting it down to 3.5. It's more memorable to me, has some problems, but excellent sticking details and I like the actors. So, mixed review, I guess.
Movie rankings
Posted at 07:35 PM in General Commentary | Permalink | Comments (0)
Reblog (0)